Newbies Nest

[NoSugar]

Good point STL,

ab·stain
əbˈstān/
verb

1. restrain oneself from doing or enjoying something.

The word by definition suggests that we are deprived when we absolutely aren't! Once I got past the feeling awful part, it became something of an adventure. I like challenges so figuring out each new social situation was interesting. I'm also pretty into health and fitness so it's been fun to find out just how good I can possibly feel (despite the steadily increasing years :wink. I love reading book or movie reviews and thinking that I actually may read or see some of them.

Most people here are pretty well into adulthood - getting alcohol out of the picture gives us the chance to regain the life we used to have or maybe carve out the one we wanted all along.

This is not a punishment - it is an opportunity!

[blackflag]

Ns, I was thinking I'd like to take this opportunity to get a bit more fit, I think it'd give me a bit more motivation to look after myself, and looking after myself doesnt involve pouring booze down my neck at every possible moment. Bad time to take up jogging at the start of winter mind you!

[NoSugar]

Ns, I was thinking I'd like to take this opportunity to get a bit more fit, I think it'd give me a bit more motivation to look after myself, and looking after myself doesnt involve pouring booze down my neck at every possible moment. Bad time to take up jogging at the start of winter mind you!

At the beginning, you should do whatever makes you happy, content, joyful, peaceful --- anything positive. It isn't a good time, in my opinion, to put pressure on yourself to do other hard things. Because quitting is hard enough, no doubt about it. But if exercising more now would make you feel good, I hope you go for it!!

[blackflag]

I think I'm just trying to find something to keep me occupied.but maybe I'm trying to do too much.

[Guitarista]

I think I'm just trying to find something to keep me occupied.but maybe I'm trying to do too much.

Hiya Nesters near and not so far,

Keep it going Black flag. I'm a muso myself. I know how difficult it can be when our workplace is a bar! With some AF time behind you, and a focus on what we love and have, it will get easier. For me it has anyway. This time around for me, i made sure i kept/keep my sober journey as simple as possible. In fact, i have moved mountains to make my life simpler, and removed stressful people and situations from my life. Not always possible, but we can work out how to minimize such contact.

For me, keeping it simple has been key, followed by some sort of self loving/care daily action that i can handle, e.g:

I can handle a light jog/walk to the next lampost or tree and back (longer optional).

I can handle an easy session at the gym for 10-20 minutes (longer optional).

I can handle shopping for nutritious foods that will fuel and repair my mind and body.

I can handle being kind to myself, and not taking on too much.

I can handle saying NO if saying yes would mean stress, or putting my sobriety at risk.

And if i'm thinking i'm a bit of a loser, i can always turn to my passion, a musical instrument, and improve on that.

"Re-building self esteem and self worth daily with the G man" :llama:

[narilly]

Hey STL, I like that! Sobriety instead of Abstinence. It sounds A LOT better for sure!

NS, you are the best at pulling out those definitions! I agree with everything you said and I am into health and fitness too. It really helps me on this journey. Like I always say "You can have the life you want or you can drink."

I am shooting for the same thing. Sobriety. I love sobriety :heartbeat:

Black, exercising really helps me stay sober. I walk everyday to work even when it is -30C outside and it feels great. It makes a huge difference in how I feel and how my clothes fit. I work out at lunch time a few days a week. Every Thursday at noon I have been doing yoga and that is good. Sometimes I go swimming but I havent for a while. Maybe soon because it really makes those endorphins go wild.
Just walking is great though, I highly recommend it.

[blackflag]

You're not wrong, g. But hammering those drums sure gets a lot of stress out haha. I like the idea of a simple daily action though I'll see if I can work in some light exercise, and just make sure I dont go into it all guns blazing from the off.

[MossRose]

He nesters. Well, my pity party is over. Thank you all for always being there for me. I couldn't check in at work today, so I couldn't wait to get home and see how everyone is doing. As always, some great stuff here today. STL - I really dislike the word abstain too and never use it. Sober is a cool word, I think. As everyone agrees - one word implies lack, the other plenty.

Red and Ican - sorry you are both feeling poorly, but you came right back. That's the ticket to success. As NS said, you may be powerless against AL once you decide to have that first drink, but you are in the driver's seat. It's your choice. And in that you have total control. Stay close.

Cowboy, your post really caught my attention. I totally understand how an ex can push all of your buttons. I'm divorced too, and in the beginning, he literally drove me to drink (well, that was my excuse, anyway.) I know it is very difficult since you have a daughter together, but I must urge you to go no-contact as much as possible. Maybe you can use email to set up visitation times, discuss financial issues, etc. The key word here is distance. There is no reason you should have to pull back from your daughter. But you must pull back from your ex. You no longer need to engage with her. It is difficult, but possible. Then you will gain some perspective. I promise you. I spend time on another forum where we discuss this very situation. Our motto - No Contact = No Drama!! Sending hugs, because I know what hell you are going through. And the whole part about making amends can wait until you are healthy and your relationship has gotten less volatile. It will happen eventually, but it takes time.

And please don't back off from MWO. I've done it a few times and it has always been an epic fail. Take care friend, you are doing great.

Well dinner is done so I'm off. Have a peaceful evening/day everyone.

[Guitarista]

You're not wrong, g. But hammering those drums sure gets a lot of stress out haha. I like the idea of a simple daily action though I'll see if I can work in some light exercise, and just make sure I dont go into it all guns blazing from the off.

Hiya Mossy. Some good food for thought in your above post. Sober is the new black, or orange, or poiple or something, but it's a timeless cool to be sure.

BFlag. Cool beans. Yep, drumming sure is physical, and more so if you're playing punk or rawk stuff!

I meant to add as an afterthought re exercise, that i know some of us can't afford gym membership or find them a bit scary or confronting, which i do at times. So don't forget everyone, some push ups, sit ups, walks/runs basketball, football, throwing a ball in the park or at home is free, and something we can all do in private or away from others if we don't feel like being around other people on the day.

Take it easy and kick some ass in your own way. G

[See the Light]

Hiya Nesters near and not so far,

Keep it going Black flag. I'm a muso myself. I know how difficult it can be when our workplace is a bar! With some AF time behind you, and a focus on what we love and have, it will get easier. For me it has anyway. This time around for me, i made sure i kept/keep my sober journey as simple as possible. In fact, i have moved mountains to make my life simpler, and removed stressful people and situations from my life. Not always possible, but we can work out how to minimize such contact.

For me, keeping it simple has been key, followed by some sort of self loving/care daily action that i can handle, e.g:

I can handle a light jog/walk to the next lampost or tree and back (longer optional).

I can handle an easy session at the gym for 10-20 minutes (longer optional).

I can handle shopping for nutritious foods that will fuel and repair my mind and body.

I can handle being kind to myself, and not taking on too much.

I can handle saying NO if saying yes would mean stress, or putting my sobriety at risk.

And if i'm thinking i'm a bit of a loser, i can always turn to my passion, a musical instrument, and improve on that.

"Re-building self esteem and self worth daily with the G man" :llama:

Great quote G...moving mountains to make things easier. .sounds impossible. .but that is the key..if your mind is not in the right state. .you are fighting too many battles to expect to win them ..make this fight your first fight then slowly work other changes in..it took most of us YEARS to get this way..fixing everything over night is not going to happen..see the process in your mind...make goals you can really achieve. .then achieve them!!!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Wow, what a long & busy day it's been for me. Got a lot done though so I'm happy

I see a lot of talk going on about 'battling AL'. I have a different point of view. At least for me, when I completely accepted that I can no longer drink safely the battle just disappeared! Acceptance = freedom & peace of mind. Good thing to remember, give it a try.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[narilly]

Lav, that is a great way to think about it. Acceptance = Freedom, oh yeah baby.

Freedom it is!

I llove that "rebuilding self esteem and self worth with the G Man". Way to go G Man.

Well, this girl is sober tonight and lovin it. Have a great night everyone!

[Pavati]

Oh, drat. Just lost a long post.

Brief recap - Ican and Red - Time for a serious plan to stay sober. Visit the toolbox to see what a good plan can look like. I quit on Dec. 2 and told everyone that I had quit for December because the dark made me feel sad and depressed and I was trying to see if going without alcohol could make me feel better. Not exactly a party conversation, but everyone was impressed with my resolve.

Blackflag - EXERCISE is key - I can't overstate how much it has meant to my sobriety. When I REALLY don't feel like going, I tell myself to put on my shoes and walk to the corner and back at least. Once I am out I always keep going. Exercise helps me clear mind and body, and releases those great endorphins. I appreciate drumming for both the exercise and the endorphin release. I just found Tommy Igoe this weekend. Here is a cool video you might enjoy (the GoPro makes me nauseated, but the first part of this is awesome). http://www.youtube.com/results?searc...rce=opensearch

Bummed I lost my post - I'm sure I had a lot more to say...

Nesters - stay close and STAY SOBER (sorry for yelling, I get excited).

Pav

[Pavati]

xpost. LAV! YES! It truly is freedom. I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.

[KENSHO]

Feeling very grumpy today. Need to exercise... need more life balance. I told myself I would catch up with work (which is through this week), because I took too much on (like Guitarista advised against), and now I'm paying for it. I can't bring myself to do shotty work for those I committed to - so it will be hell week before leaving for a week with the in-laws.

I'm craving alcohol and it's because of the situation I put myself in and it will only set myself up for worse going to a house where everyone is drinking just when I intend to relax and unload from a hell week.

Not the smartest thing I could have done. My own fault. I told my peeps I would stay up to get stuff done, but I'm going to bed. If I could make a gesture at this day, it would be not be clean.

Sorry to spew but its how I feel. Thanks for your posts Pavati, G, STL and Lav. Always so helpful to me.

Hang in there ABCowboy. I feel your pain - one thing I've learned is that the pain never lasts. Get through this patch, and clear skies ahead.