Newbies Nest

[Icanwithoutacan]

Thanks Pavati I will
Kensho don't drink PLEASE...I am paying dearly for this relapse and I have decided luke Lav says I can never drink safely ever. I am terrified if dying. I am terrified of trying to stay sober . I am simply terrified.
What are your (all opinions on AA)? Is it the only way to stay sober? I really don't want to get sucked into a new venture luke that but if I have too....

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Tuesday!

Very chilly but dry here - no rain, no snow, yay. I have another busy day ahead but I am well rested & ready!

Ican, lots of people benefit greatly from AA. There's a thread dedicated in the monthly abs section. Why don't you take a look & see what they are saying. If going to AA is what you need, then go check it out!

Kensho, I'm thinking lots of deep breaths & working the one day at a time angle is what you need today. Don't be harsh on yourself, that's counter productive. Protecting your quit needs to be forefront on your plan today :hug:

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Tuesday!

Lav

[abcowboy]

Morning all! Thanks for all the words of wisdom! As usual, you guys are here for me when I need it most, and MWO and AA will continue to help keep me sober, for the rest of the newbies and those struggling, keep coming back! It really does work if you let it.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Kensho....I sell shoplifting deterrents to retailers. This is OUR time of year, if we don't get this stuff out the door by Thanksgiving (Black Friday, now Black Thursday), we all turn into toads. My customers must think I have elves (not to be confused with Elvis) in the basement making this stuff! I TOLD them to order it weeks ago, but NO!!!! Now it's MY fault. If I make it thru til next Wednesday at 5, I'm free and clear! Yes, I've gotten calls on THANKSGIVING DAY! !@#$! I can only do what I can do....I always say to myself...in a year from now, will this even matter? Probably not...because I didn't get my stuff in somebody's store 2 days earlier will not amount to squat in the long run. Please cut yourself some slack and I will do the same. Deal? Deal.

I hope everyone will dig his/her heels and do whatever it takes to remain sober today. That's just what I did, and I couldn't be happier. Has it always been easy? NO! But it's always been worth it. No problem is worth blowing up my foundation (sobriety). If I think drinking will fix a problem then a cheesecake will do just as well (both will make me miserable when taken to the excess, which is how I roll).
Stop.
Observe.
Breathe.
Experience.
Respond.

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Thank you Lav. Deal Byrd. Thank you so much Ican for reminding me that I will not be happy with any decision to drink. I think for now, I'm safe. It's that week amid drinkers. It feels like an ultimate test. And I realize its because I'm feeling weak. I'm feeling weak because I'm not taking care of myself (sleep, exercise, down time are my big3). I know that "just not drinking" may not be enough down there, so I need a stronger plan - and it has to be in place before I get there:

1. I'm going to pull out some of my old posts from when I slipped previously and read them
2. I am going to develop a before-bedtime and upon-wakening meditation that visualizes me as the drunk (ouch!) and the self-assured, clean,clear & sober me.
3. I will also tell my husband before we leave that I'm on an indefinite leave of absence from AL, and make sure he's on board. I will tell him that this is the ultimate test for me - being stuck in a house with drinkers and no transportation away, and that I need his help and acceptance (this is hard for me because when we first started dating (early 20's), he said he could never date someone who didn't drink. I think he has evolved, but this has stuck with me). This part will feel really hard for me because I am afraid of his response.
4. I am going to get some exercise daily (which we usually do down there) - lots of walks and some trips to their local gym with a steam room (my FAVORITE!)
5. I am going to post like mad, so be ready y'all - I'm going to need the support!!
6. I'm going to do a lot of cooking. I miss having the time to be a good cook - and if I can focus on that while others are drinking, I think it will help.
7. I'm going to get some good non-al drinks.

I think others' discomfort around non-drinkers is partly due to them imagining we are going through some harsh struggle and that there is something terribly wrong with us - because drinking is so widespread and accepted. I will be in whatever mood I am in, but if I show less struggle with the issue and project self-acceptance and happiness, I think others are less likely to be put-off. SO I will focus on how grateful I am to be sober.

Also, just yesterday I was sitting with a couple of my design assistants and we were talking about Thanksgiving. One of them said, "I will be going to my brother's, but not for long. He's AA, and if I want any wine, I will have to go elsewhere." She laughed and rolled her eyes like, "isn't that the pitts?". I didn't say anything.

Thanks for listening.

[Twinkle79]

Hi all, I am new here and on Day 5 (although I used to read here lots when the forum was in its old format). I've had many attempts in the past at going AF but I don't think I've ever been truly ready. I attended about 20 AA meetings a couple of years ago but didn't take it seriously, and several times drank on the way home, what an idiot. But this time round, I think I've hit my rock-bottom. And so far, I have been feeling pretty good about sobriety. Today though, I've been feeling cold, tired and quite low. I haven't wanted to drink today but I have started thoughts of "when" I will. Argh. Anyway, just wanted to check in and introduce myself. I'll be back after school pick-up time!

[Rahulthesweet]

Welcome twinkle

You are at right place. Like you I had tough time to stop. But thanks to this site and wonderful support I got I am 200 days plus sober and every day I break my own records.

Keep posting, keep reading there is a huge amount of reading material. Check out toolbox and basically stay around ... And see the majic

[See the Light]

GMAE everyone. Kensho- If you are under a lot of stress from all that is going on and it is causing anxiety related drinking thoughts, you may want to consider taking a supplement such as L Theanine. Theanine is a compound found in green or black tea, available as a supplement that some people find helpful in relieving their anxiety (including myself). It works by boosting GABA levels in your brain (which will reduce anxiety for many people) the same way prescription drugs such as Baclofen (which is a synthetic analogue agonist of GABA and enhances the effects of GABA) and Acamprosate do, without the more typically harsher side effects.

Anyway ..just a suggestion. This time of year is particularly stressful for many people as was mentioned yesterday, so we should all keep that in mind when sneaky stress thoughts start pushing us towards our old enemy alcohol.

Welcome aboard Twinkle..you are in good company here..hope you stick around

Have a stress free (or reduced stress anyway) and positive AF day out there everyone.

[KENSHO]

Welcome Twinkle! The first week is DEFINITELY the hardest, and takes a bit of faith to get through it, but also tools. Visit the toolbox - it is packed with great info. There's no doubt that this is hard! But it is so worth it! Congratulations for making the decision to reclaim your life!

[See the Light]

Mr. Fin- I hear you are back in town...hope you are sticking around this time..what have you been up to?

[Resolve]

I'd be lying if I said that the pending holiday season and Thanksgiving week of next weren't trying to woo me back into some form of the boozy world of yore (well, not that yore yet). I've found myself bargaining and entertaining the inner debate of what would be acceptable or result in the least amount of disappointment in myself if I drank. Even thought how I'd walk into the liquor store, gather all my favorites and tell the cashier that it was one last hurrah of holiday cheer. After that, poof, they wouldn't see me back again because then I'm really quitting. I'd line up my bottles, tell each of them how much I've missed them and that they look well, hug it out and then giddy on up. Wrong.

But you know what? On the upside, I've become a good listener by being here. The downside for the alcohol starved hemisphere in my brain is that it's on life support at the moment because I have listened. I hear so many of the thoughts and phrases discussed here now in my head all the time and have many go to phrases that help me keep it together. I can quote many, and this could be a very long post, but the point is there's a loop in my head that makes far more sense and speaks to me louder and clearer than the other voice that wants me to break bad. I didn't think I was capable of listening and learning when it comes to this, and this ain't no soap box moment either because I struggle every day. But I'm retraining my thought process, rewiring my brain and eventually I'm leading the former somewhat drunken dude out to pasture. There's no chance of that happening on my own without doing it by being here. As in none at all.

Tomorrow my wife is heading out of town with our oldest daughter for 4 nights (uh oh). Trust me, the strobe lights are flashing and warning sirens ready to wail because this used to be Yippee Ki-yay time! And believe me, I've been spoken to about it by the higher power of a disappointed spouse. So I'm digging deep and will be here and hitting that good replay loop in my head.

For other newbies coming here - stay, read, post and be a sponge. It will sink in.

Kensho and G - I like your action lists and plan to follow and refer back to them (except scratch #3 and #6 off Kensho's!).

[Pinecone]

Hi Friends, checking back in after an extremely sleep deprived weekend.

Welcome, Twinkle! I'm glad you found us. Give yourself some time for your body to adjust and just treat as you would for the common cold: sleep well, hydrate, eat nutritious food and generally take it easy. You will start to feel much better in no time.

Kensho, is the trip you mentioned that important to you? I'm concerned about item #3 on your list. Sending you support!

[NoSugar]

I'd be lying if I said that the pending holiday season and Thanksgiving week of next weren't trying to woo me back into some form of the boozy world of yore

I haven't listened yet but I noticed that the most recent BubbleHour podcast is about the holiday season: http://www.thebubblehour.com/2014/11...liday-for.html

[KENSHO]

Pinecone, my husband is Jewish. So we travel to see his family at Thanksgiving, and then spend Christmas with mine. It is a big deal, and the kids love going. Not going would be a big disruption. I need to have that conversation with hubby sooner than later.

Resolve, I love reading your posts. I spit out phrases whereas you word things beautifully. Glad you have no illusions about those bottles calling.

STL, I'll look up L Theanine. I think at the moment, it's more about exhaustion than anxiety, but it would be good to understand this option. Thanks for the tip!

[Icanwithoutacan]

Kensho I'm worried because that's the same chatter that goes on in my head about not wanting to disappointy husband and being around drinkers - maybe you should do the CDs like Lav suggests - there are also non drinking meditation apps I found . I am not the greatest example of this (or maybe I am since I relapsed) but if you do not get that "fight" out of your mind, AL WILL slip in through the cracks . I feel stronger right now because I have decided "not now not ever" to borrow from Byrdie whereas last week I was more "well I'm not drinking for now" -----it can't be both for us ---it's one or the other ---- and the other usually involves drinking to excess and lots of regret. Stay strong my friend ---- day 1 and 2 sucked over here.
Resolve - please go back and read your first post here....it was a game changer for many here and you need to fill in the cracks AL is trying to slip through
I hate to sound preachy but I DONT want anyone feeling like I do today on day 2 when I should be on 10 or even more sadly almost at 1 year!!!!