Newbies Nest

[Turnagain]

Ah....AVA...you're too funny! Back in my drinking days, I also seemed to come down with phuckitis all the time.

No doubt, stress is a huge trigger for a lot of folks and alcohol offers readily available temporary relief. Of course, once alcohol damages our brain chemistry to the point where we are addicted, then that relief gets harder and harder to come by. And then, when you've reached the point where you realize you're addicted and you find yourself posting to an online forum for help, you also realize that you've got a find another way to deal with stress and any lingering phuckitis.

Pinecone - loved what you wrote about dealing with stress head on. And Moss - WOW. You get a major award for fighting off phuckitis right on the front line. Ta-da!

:dancegirl::balloons::horn:

And if that wasn't enough, you actually burned in a new neural pathway in your healing brain. EVERY single time you surf through a craving and tackle a trigger you are actively re-training your brain and re-balancing your brain chemistry. That is huge. Really huge. :fairy:

And Matt, I'm sorry you also have been mired in conflict, but you have done something incredible by NOT turning back to the toxic, addictive crap to deal with the situation. KUDOs to you and your shiny new, HEALTHY, neural connections.

[MossRose]

Hang in there, Matt. I know you are in good hands with Ava. She has helped me through more than a few rough patches. I don't have any words of wisdom other than those you already know - drinking will only make this situation worse. Things probably seem a bit louder now, only because you are feeling again. Really feeling without the sedation of AL. It's painful, but it will get better. Wishing you the best, my friend. Stay close, we'll be here.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Busy day for everyone I see

MR, you just mentioned something I've been thinking about a lot lately - the sedation of AL. I've realized that it's been so long since I've relied on that sedation to get thru my day that I can't even remember why I thought I needed it in the first place. What the hell was I thinking? I'm still the same person, maybe a bit more enlightened than I was when I started my drinking career. I think it was something that I just had to work my way thru (or not). I am so grateful that I chose to kick AL to the curb. Life is good

Greetings to all & wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest! Stay warm!

Lav

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello Nesters,

Imagine you are in a party with DJ playing. Cool people around, lots of dancing, great music. Lights glowing in the dark dance floor. It's like a club but not exactly as its a smaller set of friends. Booze flowing, you walk around the dance floor enjoying dancing, jumping take a break heading to bar, grabbing shots and making sure they don't stay empty. Should be done in a single gulp.

Party goes on, with the working of dance you start sweating so does people around you. This means evening wants to drink more ... Enjoy more dance more. I. Are sure the glass does not remain half emply , bottoms up !!
------------

This seems so familiar sight. But then it was me today ... Making sure the shot glasses remain emply and then gets refilled soon. Glasses don't remain half emply ... Full !! But it was not me was drinking it was everyone else. I was playing host !! A sober host !

Someone to whom I handed over the glass of scotch felt so thanking and happy he asked what about " I don't drinks !" With a sense of pride.
---------------------------
Today I was co hosting an event with other fellow friends in a small social organisation calle round table which I have joined. There are several people from all across many whole I didn't know. So that's how making sure people drink was part of my hosting duties.
----------------------------
I was almost forced to taking a shot ! Which I refused. But imagine. Two people forcing you to take a shot ..."Just one ! Just one !!" How would you react. If I truly wanted to drinking I would have given up. It's just a shot after all. But no not for me !!! Its a choice between life and drink for me and I choose life. There is no way I can drinki that poison again ....
-----------------------------
"I have never seen him drinking !" A new friend told my wife I front of me.
" he used to and was out of control on many occasions" said my wife.
------------------------------
It does seem so strange now seeing people running after drink after they are high. Witnessing them doing crazy things, unable to stop ....
-------------------------------
It was great night with new set of friends, with my sober life ...

I survived ..
I survived long travels,
Long flights ...
I survived loanly moments ,
I fought the temptation which used of have,
I made new fresh memories in situations and places where I used to drink
A drinking party was one thing I had not experienced
I survived that as well ...
Feel good, feel great ... Confident !
Can't believe this is ME who genuinely was to refuse an alcoholic shot ...
Who until long ago used to promise every morning ...
"I will not drink today !"
"

[available]

Congratulations on 9 months Rahul, i knew you had it in you and its amazing what we can achieve sober.

[KENSHO]

I felt a moment of peace tonight at my dad's birthday party. Maybe its because it was the culmination of a very busy and demanding week. Maybe it was because I am sleep deprived and am a little delirious. But I have found myself expressing myself in an easy, more self-assured way. I have been asking questions that I would have been afraid to ask before, and I ask with confidence. I have had a genuine interest in understanding other people. I have noticed that I am communicating with my husband more effectively, and am less reactive to things that would have sent me over the edge previously. Pretty much, I just feel that I'm being the me that I'm supposed to be - in touch with what I need and not afraid to ask for it or to share it. Maybe it's some natural step in my personal growth, but I know that not drinking has allowed me to see parts of myself that I previously could not. I was so wrapped up in the desire for alcohol that not much else mattered. I was so fogged by hangovers, and so used to being dishonest about drinking that I felt insincere and insecure and ashamed, so I didn't share and didn't talk and couldn't possibly ask questions because I didn't know how to let people in. I didn't believe anyone would actually want "in" because I felt unworthy of the attention.

I like myself more now. Sure, there are days I want a drink, and days that suck beyond sucking, and many things I need to work on, but I'm being true to myself - good or bad; I'm making good decisions for myself. I'm not lying to myself or others any more and what that has done for me and for my relationships is nothing short of amazing. Life feels more full and rich and REAL.

SO, to all of you wondering if not drinking will ever be any fun, or how you could possibly be happy without alcohol, I will tell you that being sober has opened doors that I never knew were there. It's impossible to imagine life without alcohol - it just must be experienced.

PS - Ava and Gman (and who else?)... My son took my iPhone to play with last night at the party. I asked Siri a question this morning and she answered in an Australian accent. I like it and think I'll keep it. (Not that I would know how to change it back..).

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Up early & waiting to see what the day brings

Rahul, Congrats on your AF time, you have made a lot of progress. Stay as happy & focused as you are right now

Kensho, it is good to experience life once again without AL. It's also good to have a clear picture on what exactly triggered the excessive drinking in the first place. I sure won't go there again - how about you?

Wishing everyone a great AF Sunday!

Lav

[Samstone]

morning all
just had a few thoughts that I woke up with and it seems to tie in with Kensho and Lav's post. I woke up sort of early and turning things over in my mind. I realized that the one thing I was NOT turning over in my mind was the dregs of a hangover. I wasn't feeling like Grant's army just walked through my head, mouth, stomach and I got to thinking how great is that, all the other things that were in the thought "chamber" seemed less pressing. I didn't have to worry and stress over "ok, this is my last day" only to falter by its end. It was truly a liberating thought.

have a great day one and all
Sam

[Mr. B]

Good morning nesters . Having services for my old man today as he passed on Tuesday the 18 of liver cancer. And here lots of drinking been going on. Dad died due to his heavy drinking all these years. I I'm so glad I finally stopped, cause at one time I was a heavy drinker. I owe all of my sobriety to my best friend, my love of my life, and that's my wife. The drugs as well. Feeling good

[abcowboy]

Couldn't agree with you more Mr. B!! I thank God every morning that Bubba stood by my side through all these years and she celebrated her Al-Anon 1 year birthday on the 19th! Stand strong through the Service, dad is looking down and very proud of his little boy!

[Mstall]

Good MAE Nest. I'm back at day 1 again after some weeks away. I think trying to quit Al and smokes was just too overwhelming. I will worry about the smoking after I have some AF time.

Meeting a girlfriend for breakfast and then back home where it's safe, no alcohol in the house and my state doesn't sell any on Sundays. Used to piss me off, today I'm grateful.

See you all later.

[Byrdlady]

Wow, what powerful posts this morning!

I am so happy and proud of each and every one of us who stood up to AL and are taking our lives back!

Mr B, I am so sorry to hear of your Dad's passing. It has been a tough year for so many. I will be wishing you strength and peace during the challenging days ahead. Losing a parent shakes our foundation to the core. Losing one to disease we have makes it even harder. My thoughts will be with you and Mrs B. Hugs dear man.

Rahul, your post gave me goosbumps. I am so stinking proud of you! For us, drinking AL is like drinking battery acid.

Kensho, would you consider putting that last post in the Tool Box! It was golden. i hope you are working on your 30 day speech! Everything changes when AL isnt in charge.

Wishing everyone an easy day! Dont let AL take another day of your precious life! We are all in this together and there is strength in numbers!

Welcome back Mstall! Guitarista has the butt velcro, strap yourself in!
Byrdie

[Pavati]

Good morning, Nest:

Happy to wake up without all that, too, Sam. That AWFUL feeling of GSR. Instead I made a great cup of coffee and stayed in bed to read for a while, and now I'm off on a hike. I used to hike on a Sunday and talk to my friend about my hangover and how I needed to learn how to get an off switch so I didn't keep drinking so much. As we all know, that off switch is elusive to some of us... Seems crazy that I would make myself feel like that week after week under the pretense of "having fun." Since when is making yourself feel like that fun? I used to say if I had to have the hangover first I wouldn't drink because I would cry uncle before I got through it. Fer farks sake, what was I doing to myself.

Glad you're ok, Mr. B. I will add to the chorus of spousal support - so happy to have my DH on my side. Bubba sounds amazing, too, Cowboy.

Kensho, YES!

Well, I said I was going to do some cleaning yesterday and I managed to avoid it. I'm going to go back and try again today before I go out.

MStall - Welcome. Stay close, post and let us know if you need support. You've come back to a great place.

Happy Sober Sunday,
Pav

[available]

Hi All,

Great post Kensho and you have a better life each and everyday sober. I never thought i would feel how i do after a year and it just gets better and better. I laughed at the Aussie accent and you cant c.hange it back. Damn technology.

Im off to be with my friend Robert before he is wheeled in for his cancer salvage operation. Please think of him today for me. Its an 8 hour op and I just hope he lives through it. I slept like crap and my emotions are all over the place but i am sober today. The rest i can deal with. Spending time with my beautiful daughters to take my mind of the very slow hours to come. Bring on the coffee i say. The more the better.

Stay strong Mr B, you make us proud and yes your wife is special!

[Byrdlady]

Tell Robert he has the support of an entire nest of people! We are thinking of you, Ava, and wishing you and Robert strength. Enjoy your girls today. Xxoo, B