Newbies Nest

[Evan W]

Day two tapering, who knew Monday night football was like Sunday afternoon football? Monday night was always blurry movements on a green with white striped background and to much noise.:egad:

Evan

[abcowboy]

Moss and Daisy, I wasn't trying to be the holier than you person, I'm 57, soon to be 58, been drinking since I was 12, grew up in a non-drinking Catholic family. No alcoholics in the bloodline except for me. What I was trying (without success it seems) to get across, is that you only have so many day 1's, if you don't quit now, sooner or later you will fall into the abyss that has no way out....your fault? my fault? someone else's fault? It matters not, what matters is that you truly admit to yourself you have a problem, to heck with all the rest! If you can't admit that, you will never recover, no matter how many day 1's.... the first step is always simple, but always the hardest... I know, I've lived it..but with my Higher Power (God for me), my friends on MWO, and my AA fellowship, I have learned that the madness of alcohol has to end or you will end with it.... some people can't see that.....pray for them....

Getting and trying to stay sober is the most selfish thing I have ever done! I was always taught that others should come before me. Right now, it is ALL about me, my health, my happiness, my success, my failures.... if I don't think that way, then I've given myself another excuse....

I'm truly sorry if I offended anyone....

[daisy45]

Alcowboy, I was in no way offended by your post. I totally see what you are saying. And I am at the stage where I would rather end the madness of alcohol or it's gonna end me!
I have the most worked out plan I have ever had since coming here. God, for me too......
I also put my name forward to volunteer for feeding the homeless at nights....haven't heard yet, but I am planning to succeed.
If anyone asks if I am off it for a while? The answer will be that I prefer the sober me and won't be drinking again.

[narilly]

Cowboy no offence taken. It was a great post, it just goes to show how cunning, baffling and powerful AL is. We all do what we gotta do to quit and it ain't easy.

Hey Evan, have some quiet time to yourself. Listen to yourself breathe, go for a walk. Read the tool box here and don't drink today. You can do it. The first days are the toughest.

Mr B, you WILL make it past three months, you can do it!

Have a great sober night.

[available]

We all want to succeed to stop drinking, i never ever thought i could or would do it. I truly wanted to but i didnt think it was possible. What did i have that others had to succeed? i always wondered about what makes each of us different. To me it was being honest, accountable, leaving my ego at the door and listening to what others had to say. To take criticism on board and to learn to deal with life sober and that means all of life. The hard bits, the easy bits, the lot. We cant pick and choose what to deal with sober, it is thrown at us daily and its called life. We either cope with with life by drinking or we muddle through sober and hope for the best. I muddled through and as time went on it got easier.

Its still a bit hard sometimes but after a year of sobriety, i know that all i did to get where i am was worth it. To not give into those al urges, to not drink because i was stressed, to not drink because the cat/dog died, to not drink as i was angry, to not drink as i was sad, to not drink as the clouds covered the sun. To just not farking drink. Its not rocket science but it takes such guts and grit and determination to say no to something that we had the concept of loving, that we thought protected us, that we thought cared for us, that we thought was our friend.

My friends are the living, breathing kind now. The ones that tell me daily how proud they are of me, the ones that i can reach out to and communicate with, the flesh and blood kind, not al wrapped up in a bottle.

[KENSHO]

Cross post Ava... I love the words you say! They give me so much hope.

Oh my, one day at a time is right MOSS. Glad to see you DAISY. Do you have a plan of what do to when the AL voice tries to convince you again? It's a very convincing voice, and I don't think we can be prepared enough for it to strike.

NS, my kids (among other things) are my "something more meaningful" than AL. Tonight I had a special night with my handsome son, who attended a work celebration with me as my date. It was at a fancy historic building I did work for and was quite spectacular! We found his dad's old tweed sports jacket (from when he was 10!) and he wore it like he owned it... I was so proud to have him there! He was so wide-eyed.

I had a brief moment at the bar ordering sprites for each of us - only because glasses of wine were staring me in the face. I focused on my son, and on helping him learn manners in an adult crowd, and on just being so darn proud. It was so much more gratifying than drinking would have been. This night meant the world to him - we don't get many times just the two of us.

I believe we can create our happiness to an extent... by focusing on happy things. What we allow ourselves to dwell on is what we feel the most - so if we choose to focus on how great we feel without needing alcohol, and focus on how proud we are of someone or ourselves, and how lucky we are for various reasons - the positive multiplies. I don't mean fabricate it... I just mean pull the positive out of a situation and focus on it.

Deep thoughts, happy night, lots of work ahead. Nighty night!

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

I have time for a quick check in. Cowboy - I appreciated your post. I think it is the same as saying no amount of hoping, or wishing, or "fingers crossed" is going to get someone sober. What is going to get someone sober is a dogged determination, HARD work, persistence, support, and, like you said, admission that it has to happen. That's really the key, at least for me.

I have a lot more to say, but no time (aren't you all lucky!), so I will save it for tomorrow.

Kensho - that night sounds delightful. Those are the little things that getting sober afford us - moments spent with the focus on the person or activity rather than the bar and the drink.

Good night folks.

Pav

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters

Busy day ahead for me & expecting some rain/sleet/snow mix, oh well - tis the season.

Great posts overnight! I think we can all see a little bit about ourselves in each one. Denial & fear were the two components that kept me drinking longer than I really wanted to drink. I just didn't understand that my thinking was so clouded by AL. I was free & clear of AL for 5 or 6 months before I totally understood the complete control it had over me. In the beginning of my quit I pretty much operated on hope & faith but it got me to where I am now. I know for sure that if I can do it you all can as well if that's you truly want

Daisy, just keep trying, OK? You'll never be sorry!
Evan, glad to see you & glad you are making progress!

Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!

Lav

[MossRose]

Cowboy, we don't know each either well, so I wanted to clear the air. I rarely get offended by anything I read on MWO. It is usually the opposite. I learn something new every day. I hope you continue to use whatever methods work for you to beat this destructive addiction.
I was initially drawn to MWO over other support groups because there is no one-size-fits-all approach to recovery promoted here - except for the main tenets - we must be honest with ourselves, and we must commit to getting and staying sober. How we get there can differ in many ways.

This vibrant community is filled with people who amaze me with their support of one another regardless of whether they are always in complete agreement. Some here use sheer willpower and grit to remain AF, others need the help of supplements and diet, while some choose to attend AA meetings and use MWO as a secondary source of support. Finally, there is a group that has decided to use pharmaceuticals to curb the cravings. I read all their stories, and in the end, I have taken bits of wisdom from each camp, and devised my own unique plan to attack my addiction. That's the magic of MWO. It's inclusive, and welcoming to all viewpoints.

I hope we can continue to keep the conversations authentic, and the debates constructive and respectful. Truthfully, some of the most profound conversations I have ever had on MWO have started with a difference of opinion, and ended with a meeting of the minds.

All the best to you, Cowboy. You're doing great.

Have a good day everyone.

[abcowboy]

Moss, I couldn't agree with you more!

[Suek]

Happy AF Tuesday everyone!
I am only on day 24 (already!), but this time I am going into the quitting with a new attitude.
I don't tell myself I have to quit, and CAN'T HAVE AL, but rather I don't WANT AL.
That is a different mindset.
Last time I told myself I am quitting to get AL under control so I can eventually moderate....
Well that sure didn't work...Even after 15 months AF,
1 became 2 became 3. Weekends became weeknights too, became everynight......

NOT falling for that trick again!!!

When I quit smoking 35 years ago, I told myself it was a "dirty, filthy habit that will kill me if I don't stop".
Using those words again.................

Sue K

[NoSugar]

Attitude is everything, Suek, and you've got a great one :smile:. We're fortunate to have the opportunity to do this before we have to do it because we've reached some sort of awful "rock bottom" that takes the choice right out of our hands. You're doing great!

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

I am on my way to work, but wanted to check in this morning to say ONE YEAR SOBER!

Not bad for an Italian pasta dish.

I'll be back and try to wax poetic after work.

In the meantime, THANKS to all of you who have supported for the last 365 days. I really and truly would not be where I am without the great people of MWO.

Pav

[narilly]

Just a quick check in to say Pav! Pav! Pav! 365 Days, I am SO happy for you, what an accomplishment!

Have a great day, pamper yourself after work....maybe Italian Pasta?

Big hug from me :hug:

[Elvis]

Good job on one year Pavati!