Newbies Nest

[Lizann]

Pav that was a great post! I was seriously in tears. Because of your post fore SURE today I will be sober. Thank you, thank you! Perhaps I will take some time and formulate my thoughts and share my story! I find so much strength from all your stories. It truly helps me get through another day sober. I feel that I come here and just take, maybe it's my time to give back. I am just that insecure to think my story wouldn't help anyone.

[narilly]

Good morning!
I can't post much right now but I'm just checking in. Say NO to day 1 Lizann, we won't drink today!

Talk later.

[NoSugar]

... "I don't have another quit in me." I love it, but it is terrifying.

You know, Pinecone, I think I could quit again and that you could, too, just like I think that all the people here who are in the early days can quit this time, even if they are afraid they don't have it in them. And that the lurkers can, too, when they accept that if they are to the point of reading the thoughts of a bunch of strangers on the internet, they have a serious problem with alcohol and it is time to do whatever it takes to quit drinking. We all can do it - the trick is finding the combination of tools that works for an individual.

All of us can do so much more than we think we can but now that my brain is no longer actively addicted, logic can once again prevail and to me there is no rationale for doing anything that could put me back in the situation I was in before. I understand the physiology of what happened and why odds are good that it would happen again if I chose to drink. I understand that it might be harder to quit next time than it was this last time. So, no, I definitely do not want to do it again. But, if something happened and I were to find myself once again addicted to alcohol or another drug, I would try and despite how agonizing it might be, would believe that I ( and you and you and you - everyone who is reading this!) can do it.

[Rahulthesweet]

Sometime I feel like just writing to take the load off
I felt just the same walking to one of an old time bar here in Mumbai. Yes I am traveling for work and hey I have been here .. Many times for work.

"What shall I get for a drink. ... Beer ?" Said the waiting with a fake accept and bit if over style showing he being trained to be over friendly with customer.

" No thanks ! "

" we have a Long Island Ice tea festival!"

"I dont drink ...! "

I have said that so many time in past 1 year or so now and it just don't matter anymore.

But listening to some nice rock ballads I do feel like going back in past. Lost so long ago but say about 6 to 7 years ago when this placed and I was so regular here!

The place used to be crowded then the newest hip bar in town. The only one which used to play like rock bands from all over the world. Oh! I have had so much fun here ...

I see people around ... The guys saying cheers on the bar table.. I used to sit there ..

But then do I miss drinking ? No absolutely not. But I miss those time when I was younger, had nothing to lose, more carefree, used to work like crazy from morning to evening trying to get business. Wham 10 years later I am successful and sober ...

The place has a customs of all waiters standing and dancing on the bar ... And singing ... YMCA... YMCA .. As the crowd roars ... I wonder it used to be so much watching them doing the same drink ...

The place reminds me of younger time when I was nuts about work and nothing else mattered. Work hard party hard. And who needed company when u have a drink !

The place surrounded by a showcase of musical instruments from an era of rock music. The bands and singer who have long disappeared as they were all victims of their addiction. While some like aero smith became sober and others just perished ...

But I am a survivor as I come back to this temple of rock music with loads of drinking memories! Memories which now seems from an different era. Different life time ..

I said for the fajita with diet coke and See people around but I feel like introspecting what have I gained in last 10 years of hard work.. And what I lost. For one thing I know I dont have : a soulmate. "It there for you in this life !" Said someone when I was earlier in srilanka have a sober corporate meet . while

Sometime its not good to think too much and just live life ... but then that's is exactly what I was doing when I was drinking ...

"Its my life !" As the bon jovi plays complimenting my thoughts I am having ... But this songs gonna get over and so is the time I have today ... The same time I lost in past with drinking ...

Yes its my life !
And will make good of it. !

[See the Light]

GMAE all. Welcome back coco... GREAT post Pav!..looks like waffles for breakfast... Also great post Rahul. The more great stuff you all write here, the more lives are impacted positively. I’m sure of it. Keep up the good work. Back to a busy work day for me, but hope everyone is having a great positive and AF day.

[Fin]

Okay, back AGAIN but with an HONEST Day 1 and a personal commitment to you wonderful people that I am going to take all your advice and get going with this thing. Special thanks to byrd, daisy, cowboy, nosugar, mossrose, kensho, narilly and turnagain for the exceptional support. Turnagain's FMRI images really hit home. I always wondered how AL was screwing up my ability to play my mandolin. We think it helps, but I'd say that's definitely arguable, especially at the rate I was downing the AL. Anyway, I'm done folks. Thank you SO very much for the needed encouragement.

[Rahulthesweet]

Hi, Everyone:

All of the rest I feel like I have said here a million times. My advice? Read and post. Ask for help. Get a quick buddy with a keen sense of humor and absolute honesty who you don't want to disappoint. Exercise. Be mindful. Take care of yourselves. Take care of others. Pay attention to being sober every day. Accept what is, and take the choice off the table, but take it one day at a time.

From the bottom of my heart I thank all of you for the support I have gotten here. To quote a fellow nester, I am 100% sure that I couldn’t have done this alone. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Right now one son is missing his basketball shoes; one son is “trying’ to do his homework but watching YouTube; my boss called with a personnel crisis at work (yes, at 6:45pm); my leg is injured from a weekend football game. AND I won’t drink. I don’t drink. Phew.

I guess that was a waffle after all.

Xo
Pav

Paviti,

You have been such a great inspiration !! welcome to the new life ... keep posting keep inspiring all of us !!

[jane27]

Great posts Rahul! Xo

[See the Light]

Fin- with all the money you are going to save, go buy yourself something today that signifies the occasion..this is the 1st day of the rest of your life..you will remember it for ever (and also you'll just remember more things in general once you stop dinking).. you can do it

[Turnagain]

Some great conversations these days about an area that fascinates me: what is it that FINALLY causes folks to say "No More" to the destruction caused by alcohol?

Looking around, we can see that motivation comes in all forms - from concerns about health to ultimatums from spouses or love for our children. It seems like our motivators help us dive in and then ride out the hell weeks that go with initial detox. Yet as strong as our motivation is - especially in the initial quit stage - it seems like a lot of people fall off the grid after a few days, weeks, months or even years. Why?

I don't think anyone would argue that the motivating factors are no longer important. My working theory on this is that there is a lack of knowledge about the real nature of alcohol. In our culture, alcohol is not widely viewed as a harmful and fatal drug. Quite the opposite is true - alcohol is accepted, celebrated, encouraged and it is everywhere. And those who don't use are seen as flawed and defective at worst or at best - stodgy or self-righteous.

And it's not just the lack of knowledge - it's the lack of factual, practical and consistent information to help us systematically repair the biochemical damage and prevent more damage by learning how to deal with the stress we all experience in a healthy way.

Sadly, we see a lot of people come and go around these parts. There's no shame or judgement in that - just sorrow. Actually - there's more than sorrow - I know that many of us share the need to find the answers to help others. So I'm just putting this out there to hear what you think. It would be interesting to hear from people coming from all phases of the quit timeline - from the newly sober to those who have been addiction free for awhile.:

What motivated you to quit? What keeps you firmly quitted? Okay - didn't mean to massacre or make up words here - that's just what came through the keyboard - I'll take my lashes from the grammar police later. :worthy:

[wiseowl]

Anyone here to offer encouragement to a new member? It's gonna be a long road, but I'm on it.

[Turnagain]

I always wondered how AL was screwing up my ability to play my mandolin. We think it helps, but I'd say that's definitely arguable, especially at the rate I was downing the AL. Anyway, I'm done folks.

Hey Fin....

Believe me, you will take your picking and grinning to new levels without the crap in your system. Sober jamming is better than any drunk playing I ever did!

BTW - just curious - is that Bert Loper's dorey in your avatar? OR did you just tie up your boat too high before the river tide went out? LOL!

Laura

[Turnagain]

Anyone here to offer encouragement to a new member? It's gonna be a long road, but I'm on it.

Hi Wiseowl and welcome! It takes a lot of courage to make that first post. Community is one of the keys to getting addiction out of our lives and you've found a good group to help you along. You did a great job of diving in. You'll get to know everyone in no time.

I hope you stick around....It is possible to make this your last DAY ONE. Life is amazing withOUT alcohol.

Welcome back, too...Cocoflo and Lizann...may this also be the last time you have to return for that first sober day!

[Resolve]

Fin, Daisy and Coco - welcome back. I started lurking here this past summer and last month finally joined this forum after crashing to rock bottom in one day, so I can relate to everything you've said. Glad you're here.

Turnagain - your post with the images and discussion of the health implications really struck a chord with me . I could never understand why I didn't more strongly appreciate and focus on the damage I was inflicting on my body and mental state rather than continuing to turn a blind eye. It was odd to me that I didn't feel the fear or sense of urgency to stop drinking as I did each time I picked up smoking many years ago. I was never a long-term, heavy smoker primarily because I truly feared the health implications. I'd go on jags and smoke for weeks or months, or just be a weekend drinking smoking fool. But I always dropped the butts and walked away from it, sometimes for years, and then maybe smoked only on vacation because I knew that smoking could kill you. What started to click with alcohol health concerns was when I finally accepted that I had an addiction. Before that acknowledgement, the mere knowledge of health facts simply wasn't enough to walk away or cut back to some form of moderation because the addiction aspect didn't allow for that rationalization or realization. For whatever reason, the addiction of tobacco didn't take root for me, yet I succumbed to alcohol, and with that, mind and intelligence took a backseat for many years.

What complicated it for me too was what is commonly understood as acceptable drinking, or moderation, today - 2 drinks for men, 1 for women (another reason to be glad for that Y chromosome!). So for me that meant my starting point was I could "safely" have 14 drinks a week as my minimum allowance. Well, my pattern was a generally dry work week but then Friday to Sunday was consumption of maybe 18 - 20 drinks. All in all, not too bad in my blue imaged brain thought process when compared to the acceptable threshold. I know this was clearly a problem in terms of binging, but somehow this gave me some justification for a long time because I wasn't that far beyond the ceiling of what was widely viewed as acceptable drinking. I was all about the averages, counting drinks and sober days, and ultimately feeding my addiction by allowing all of these excuses to justify my drinking. In my mind a good chunk of this drinking was covered by what health professionals advocated were normal amounts. Only there was nothing normal about it for me, certainly not the way I consumed it. And eventually weekends led to long weekends, weeks of drinking and finally admission of addiction. At that point I felt strong motivation to hopefully undo any damage and not be an idiot about what terrible conscious choices I was making about my health.

The Surgeon General doesn't advocate that men can smoke two a day and women one a day last time I checked. The message out there is clear; smoking can essentially kill you by leading to everything on the warning label. We talk all the time here about alcohol being poison, yet it's a mixed message when we try to reconcile that with supposed safe guidelines. Our reality and what we know here is that we can't have one or two because we can't and don't stop there. I now dislike whenever I hear the safe or moderate drinking stats anymore and wonder if we'll ever get to the point where the message about alcohol is on par with smoking, that being there is no safe guideline of how much to consume, just a warning of what consumption can lead to.

As much as I dislike that message, I still wish I could be one of those who can manage within the guidelines. But I'm not and I can't. However, I love the catch phrase from here that I too have adopted - I don't drink.

[available]

Hi Wiseowl and welcome, we all have had a day 1 and there is not better time to start than now. I quit just before the silly season arrived and this will be my second year of coping/dealing with what comes with it. Stick on here like glue, post and post some more, be accountable. We are all a friendly bunch of alkies who understand the struggles within and without.

Fin, welcome back and all other newbies.

Im at work so best get to it, although i would much rather be reading on here!

Take care.