Newbies Nest

[Resolve]

Eloise - congrats on 200! That's close to seven months which is flat out great. Good for you!

All these big milestones this week and great traction are the best motivation around these parts. Real testament that it can be done with so many here leading the way. I also agree that the final day one has to be different than the rest to make this happen. We've all had to find something to make it stick and may have to search a few more times but that's ok. It's there whether you've tapped into yet or not, and whatever means or support are needed to make it your last one I'd say go for it.

Now back to my crappy cold!

[MossRose]

It was a fun day at work, so I'm in a much better mood today. Lots of laughter, and even a bit of holiday cheer. It sure has been busy in the nest lately, which is just lovely. So much support and love being passed around.

Cowboy & LB - I don't think there is anything selfish about getting sober. In many ways, it's selfless. I was certainly selfish when I would drink too much and ruin the holidays for my family, or would pick a fight with my ex, or would only half listen to what my son was telling me, or ignore a friend in need. It was selfish of me to show up at work hungover, and cheat my employer out of a productive day's work. It was supremely selfish of me to get behind the wheel of a car and endanger innocent people. So, I like to think of recovery as a selfless act - one that benefits not only ourselves, but our families, friends, coworkers, and even society in general. I would venture a guess that if anyone were to consider you selfish, it would be someone who has something to lose - like a drinking buddy. Take this time, and don't feel one bit bad about it. LB - it is so nice to see you. Hope all is going well in your world.

Lav - thanks for the book suggestion. I will definitely read it.

Congrats El on 200 days. Inspiring. Way to go.

Fin - I'm glad you are going to check out the L-glut. I'm a big believer in nutritional support and supplements during recovery. Many programs neglect this aspect, and their relapse rate is high. I had anxiety before I was a drinker. It got worse when I drank. And unfortunately, it didn't disappear when I stopped. So I knew there was a strong biochemical link for me that started with anxiety, and eventually led to addiction. My brain needed help. It's too long to go into here, but check out the threads in the holistic section. Lots of great information there. Best wishes to you.

Byrdie - I agree, positive reinforcement all the way. If I had gotten a severe verbal beating when I returned to MWO after one of my boring, and stupid relapses that first year, I probably would have quit posting. Not that I didn't need a kick in the arse, and will always be grateful to those who spoke the truth to me. But I always knew it was out of love and not just meant to shame me. It gave me the strength to keep giving it one more try until it stuck.

Embrace - I have no advice about the detox rehab, since I didn't go that route. But I have decided that if I should ever relapse again, that option will be on the table. So if you and your doctor think this is a good plan, go for it. We'll be here when you get home. Take care of yourself, and I'm glad you found your way here.

Have a great MAE all. I'm off to make some dinner.

[daisy45]

Eloise....what can I say? My quit buddy for almost 90 days! I am so proud of you on 200 days!
A tinge of envy on my part but I am on my way. Feeling better again today....thank God!
We had 6 kids today so were busy, busy as 2 were off nursery so here longer than usual. They are so loud sometimes. All girls and 2 of them speak with high pitched voices. But all so cute.
Painted cartoons on my kitchen window this past 2 days, shopped for good food, cooked, got someone in to fix up my patio paving......life is starting again.....so happy today.
Day 4 done and dusted....in the best possible way!

[daisy45]

I am tending to read and post late as I am so busy all day but then that is also when I drank....the early hours...
I will dedicate more time over the weekend.

[Turnagain]

Life is amazing with alcohol.

Grammar Police here! Bahaha! (I couldn't resist!)

LOL Byrdie - Please don't take away my keyboard! I promice to haire a proofreedier in the fuitur!

I will write this 129 times as penance:

Life is amazing withOUT alcohol.

Life is amazing withOUT alcohol.

Life is amazing withOUT alcohol.

Life is amazing withOUT alcohol.

Life is amazing withOUT alcohol.

[Byrdlady]

Bahaha! :haha:
Eloise, we are so proud of your 200 days, that is just amazing! :yay:
Elvis also earned his hat today, too, with his 30 bog days! :guy:

Moss, so glad you had a better day today!!!
Daisy, GREAT job on 4 days! WOOOOHOOO!

Hope everyone is having a peaceful night. Byrdie

[Elvis]

Thanks Byrdie! :guy:

[Turnagain]

Quick question: Why is it that subsequent Day 1's are harder to come back from vs. an initial Day 1 quit?

Hi Ok -

I ended up doing quite a bit of reading about this as I was wrapping up my drinking days (years, actually - OK decades in reality)

The quick answer to the question comes down to this: alcohol causes structural and functional changes to our brains. Doesn't matter who you are. And it doesn't matter whether you're addicted (yet) or not. Every drink damages every time. Moreover, the damage is cumulative. One of the areas most impacted by the disruption of alcohol is the cerebral cortex. Among other things, alcohol actually causes the brain to atrophy. Goodbye, gray matter. And the worst part of that is you lose gray matter in the place where you 'decide' things. Like whether to continue drinking - even though you 'know' it's hurting you.

That's one of the cruel Catch 22 situations created by alcohol addiction. Alcohol basically hijacks the limbic system - the more primitive part of our brain - that's in charge of our survival. This is a reason-free zone that runs on feel-good rewards and instinct fueled by dopamine. Food. Get. Good. Sex. Get. Good. Get more. Get more. Get more. At the same time alcohol is busting apart our limbic system with an avalanche of dopamine, it is also crashing through the cerebral cortex and the frontal lobe like a flashflood making a tangled mess of our neurotransmitters.

The moment you stop drinking, the damage to the brain is arrested. Some of the gray matter can actually come back. In fact, in as little as 2 weeks of abstinence, you can see an increase in the gray matter in brain scans. That sounds hopeful, for sure. Yet, right now, no one can say for sure whether ALL brain damage caused by alcohol goes away with abstinence.

However, I can say this with 100% certainty: If you keep drinking, your brain will keep shrinking.

And at some point, you completely lose the capacity to choose. And eventually, you don't just run out of chances to get another Day One. You lose the chance to live another day. Period.

[Matt M.]

Hey friends,
just checking in, a lot going in here the last couple of days. I, like Resolve, have been fighting a Sinus infection, and working both jobs. Glad I don't have to add a hangover to that.

Though I haven't felt real chatty (:shutup I always get so much out of reading peoples daily struggles with this F! Up disease and the advice and experiences from others. I can usually ALWAYS relate to issues past and present, that people post.
I am so very grateful for this place and the friends I have made!
Moss~ just so you know, I always enjoy your words. You are a pillar in these rooms, believe that!
Linda~ so sorry about your friend, he is lucky to have you.

Duty calls!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters!

I'm sitting by the fire with my decaf green tea just like an old sober granny ~ but I don't knit, I use my laptop, HA HA

Eloise, CONGRATS to you on your 200 AF days :yay:
Elvis, CONGRATS to you as well on your brand new 30!!!!

Hello & welcome embrace, glad you found us!
Like others have said, if you feel that a 3 day rehab is warranted then please go. Most of us here have not had that experience so it's hard to advise. If you feel you can quit making your own plan & staying with us for support then we will certainly help you. Wishing you the very best, whatever you decide to do.

Matt, hope your sinus infection clears up soon - seems to be going around, yuck.

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Lizann]

Done with work for this week, Yay! Off to bed as it was a long day. Another AF day under my belt.

[Pavati]

Good Evening,

WAY TO GO ELOISE! So awesome. 200 is a large number. Keep it up, my friend.

Elvis - You look smashing in your new chapeau. Congratulations to you, too.

Resolve and Matt - Hope you feel better soon. I love those emoticons you find, Matt.

Embrace - That sounds familiar to me, too, although I my kid isn't a pot smoker (yet). My parents live VERY close, and they are getting old. My siblings live much further away, so I am the go-to. It can be stressful for sure. But I can guarantee that it is so much less stressful (or I am able to deal with the stress so much better) without alcohol.

Turn - Thanks for that research. Always amazes me that this poison is sanctioned by society. In my health-conscious town cigarette smoking has virtually been eliminated - people who smoke are social pariahs. I wonder if that will ever happen with alcohol...

Ava - So sorry for Robert and you. Sometimes a good cry IS necessary. Take care of yourself.

Daisy - Keep it up! You sound busy and happy. Don't forget to take some time to breathe and take care of yourself, too. Remember to take time for yourself just to be.

Byrdie - That toddler analogy seems apt to me.

Good night, folks. Take care of yourselves, and don't drink, no matter what.

Pav

[Pavati]

And Mossy --

I also wanted to say - please don't apologize for posting here when you're down. We are a support group - a group of people here to support each other through good times and bad. Sometimes that directly involves alcohol, sometimes indirectly, and sometimes not at all. Your honest and brave posts are very helpful to all of us.

Hugs to you.
Pav

[KENSHO]

Miss Moss, I loved your post. Usually do! You too Turnagain, thank you! Good to see you Matt and Fin - hang in there. Welcome Embrace. I am glad you found this place.

I've got my essential oils burning, and my pile of work in front of me, but my eyes are not all that interested in staying open. Caffeine or bed? It's going to have to be one of them. This "chaos" game I play - needing pressure to get work done (and having a career that tends toward extremes in work load) does not make it easy for me to be more balanced - which would help me not want to drink. I've craved it like crazy the last three days. The thing is that I actually KNOW it wouldn't do anything at all for me. It would make me sleepy, crabby, unproductive, etc., and I know this - just as I know I will not drink. Yet I still WANT it. I don't want it, but I want it. Definitely dealing with a caveman urge here - another part of the brain. Annoying.

[Matt M.]

From Kensho

. I've craved it like crazy the last three days. The thing is that I actually KNOW it wouldn't do anything at all for me. It would make me sleepy, crabby, unproductive, etc., and I know this - just as I know I will not drink. Yet I still WANT it. I don't want it, but I want it. Definitely dealing with a caveman urge here - another part of the brain. Annoying.

Me too! Kensho Thanks for sharing

Moss-the extra emoticons became available when I became a subscriber