Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

This post from the Tool Box always helps me when those voices start!!

Tool box
JUNKIE THINKING


JUNKIE THINKING: One drink won't hurt.
RESPONSE: One drink will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social drinker. One sip and I'll be drinking compulsively again.


JUNKIE THINKING: I only want one.
RESPONSE: I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 5 or 10 or 15 every day. I want them all.


JUNKIE THINKING: I’ll just be a social drinker.
RESPONSE: I’m a chronic, compulsive drinker, and once I drink one I’ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social drinkers can take it or leave it. That’s not me.


JUNKIE THINKING: I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now.
RESPONSE: The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore, I'll be drinking again.


JUNKIE THINKING: I'll just stop again.
RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time? And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?


JUNKIE THINKING: If I slip, I'll keep trying.
RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now, I'll think I can get away with another little slip later on.


JUNKIE THINKING: I need one to get me through this withdrawal.
RESPONSE: Drinking will not get me through the discomfort of not drinking. It will only get me back to drinking. One sip stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again.


JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.


JUNKIE THINKING: I really need to drink now. I'm so upset.
RESPONSE: Drinking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset; I'll just be an upset drunk. I never have to have a drink. Drinking alcohol is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not drinking.


JUNKIE THINKING: I don't care.
RESPONSE: WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT? Can I truthfully say I don't care about my pain? I don't care about having a hangover in the morning? I don't care about what I'm doing to my liver, lungs, kidney, and heart? I don’t care about all the people I’ve hurt. No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped drinking in the first place.


JUNKIE THINKING: What difference does it make, anyway?
RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I live, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

There you are K9 :hug:
Don't disappear again or you'll really get me pissed off, LOL
Now I can tell Stella to relax

Hello & welcome Sho! (we shorten names around here - always)
We're all here because we all needed a little help & guidance at one time. You are in good company!

Kensho, at this point in your quit you're dealing with thoughts - not real cravings. It takes some to rewire our brains, forge new pathways & ways of thinking. I really believed the hypno CDs helped me with that. I would use any big stick to beat off the beast

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Fin]

Thanks for all the great posts this evening. I've needed them! I have silenced the beast for now. Sho, WELCOME! I've been very self centered on my own special needs today. I'm in full consumer mode and haven't really acknowledge your new found courage. Well done. Anyway, stay close as this goal is possible as so many here have exemplified.

-Fin

[MossRose]

Well, I've been on the phone for the last 2 hours straight. OMG - my brain hurts. While some of it has been unpleasant, I did get a call from my son. I had him over for dinner the other night and he called to tell me what a good time he had, and how he hopes we can do it again soon. Yippee! Who ever would have believed this was possible? I'm over the moon right now, and just wanted to share this with you all. The best part is things are starting to feel normal again. I don't feel like I'm auditioning for the part of "mom" anymore. I think he's finally starting to trust that sober is my new normal. What a blessing. My old friends here will understand why this is so profound. To my new friends here, please don't miss a minute of your life due to AL ever again. I missed a lot of the good stuff when I was drinking. And I did some real damage. Never again.

Fin, glad to see you are hanging in there. AL is such sneaky bastard. Good job. And you are certainly not self-centered. You have been very supportive of others. Make sure to focus some of that love and care on yourself. You deserve it.

Byrdie, I was cringing when I read your post. I used to be the queen of junkie thinking. Thank God those days are over.

Have a good evening all. I'm done with phone calls for the night, so I think I'll just relax now. Stay strong.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Good evening Nesters,
Kensho, at this point in your quit you're dealing with thoughts - not real cravings. It takes some to rewire our brains, forge new pathways & ways of thinking. I really believed the hypno CDs helped me with that. I would use any big stick to beat off the beast

This is good advice Lav. I find that discerning the difference between thoughts and cravings to be helpful. If nothing else, trying to parse the difference occupies my brain for a while.

Kensho - You are a very busy woman. This is where it is KEY for you to remember to take care of yourself and your quit first. As the Bubble Hour Ladies like to say, you will lose anything you put before your quit. Can you take five minutes and do a few sun salutations? Here are three breathing techniques to relieve anxiety. Make a cup of tea. Stretch. Do what you can to take care of yourself, even if it is only for a couple of minutes every couple of hours. That voice has been loud for you lately - time to shut it up!

Fin - I loved what Robin Williams said (I paraphrased it in my speech) - You know it is time to quit when you start violating your standards quicker than you can lower them. One minute it is three non IPAs, the next it is... Good on you for posting here. Can you go for a walk? Try a new podcast? Do both!

K9 - I am so happy to see you here. You brighten up this nest with your great sense of humor. Sorry you've had some bad crap - hope you're here to stay.

Sho - I can't tell you how much better it is to experience this time of year with kids and NO alcohol. I can remember, feel great, and am present for them in a way I never could be when I was drinking. We

Well - I just flipped through a cooking magazine and found pictures of booze on more than 20 pages. And that was just a quick tally. We're fighting a tough opponent here, especially this time of the year. Now I can say I've been there, done that with this sober December thing. Whoot. So worth it, folks, it really is.

Happy SOBER Friday. Take care of yourselves, and don't drink, no matter what!

Pav

[Fin]

Thanks, Pav. I'm over it and couldn't go anywhere because my wife and daughter were out while I stayed home with our boy tonight. This kind of situation use to be perfect for a good binger. Not this time. Another difficulty is my temper, or short fuse right now. I'm usually a very mellow dude sober and buzzed, but with zero AL on the horizon and the withdrawal joy, SNAP! My wife commented I was being defensive about a plumbing problem I just fixed when she came home tonight. She complained about the pressure being off and whoa, my pressure cooker went off. I spent hours fixing this prob and I just over reacted to her comment saying, "that's all you can see?", etc. I'll be happy when things settle down, that's for sure.

[Matt M.]

MossRose. *To my new friends here, please don't miss a minute of your life due to AL ever again. I missed a lot of the good stuff when I was drinking. And I did some real damage. Never again.*

You are spot on MR, I would give so much to take back the damaged I caused, the memories I lost due to blackout, the family functions I did not attend because it inconvenienced my drinking.
Thanks for sharing that!

[BeachGirly]

Wow - Pav - thank you- I am at the beginning of where you were. Felling I can't do this/ but I HAVE to - you gave me strength .

I need to post, read,
Post and not make the choice to drink.

I have started to see a counciller alsothe tool box of ideas is great- thx everyone.

BG

[available]

Beachy, pav and i gave up drinking together and have never looked back. We have shared the ups and downs of being sober and both of us have religiously logged onto MWO and posted and read. Once someone strays from their main support network then the majority of the time it is to drink, especially in the early days, weeks or months. Post, read, change your routine, watch youtube vids on alcoholics. Accept what you are and that is not a normal drinker. I am an alcoholic and when i accepted that, i could truly move on and work at being sober. This has not been the easiest year of my life but it has certainly been the best.

Protect your quit with your life and make it your main focus.
ll
Its hard to admit we are alcoholics and drinking is so acceptable in society but we are not normal drinkers, we never will be normal drinkers. We cant have one drink, we can have 100 but we cant have one.

I am on an alcoholic internet site for a reason and i have truly met and become friends with the most wonderful, kind hearted, kindred spirits that have helped me so much in getting to where i am today. I can never ever let them down and so i log on here daily still to be accountable.

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Good morning everyone, Day 2 here for me. Day 1 always seems easier since I'm hungover and have no desire to drink. I just want to nourish my body back to health. Today I feel good so I find this is where the work starts. By Day 3-4 I think about AL quite frequently and constantly fight with myself that I need it, and that I don't need it. You all know exactly what I'm talking about. I've been reading that it's always good in the morning to begin your day with water, it helps to get the vitals moving. So after I am done my water I'll make some delicious coffee (hah, can't help it I love my coffee) and start my day. It's chilly here and the frost is pretty thick on our vehicles and it's blanketing the ground, so I don't have any desire to go anywhere yet. Christmas Fairs are going strong here, but taking kids to that can be a nightmare so I'll skip those today. Maybe I'll make some gingerbread dough up for them and we can cut out cookies. That will be fun. I did get a chance to read over all the post from yesterday and it was very helpful, I am very determined this time to make a change. I just get scared of my resolve when the cravings kick in and the mental fight begins.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Saturday to all!

That's the way to do it Sho - keep yourself (mind & body) busy & distracted in those early days! Every time AL enters your thoughts kick him right out! This is your life ~ you are in control now

Fin, I think you will find your moods leveling out as time goes on & you move further away from the grip of AL.
Finding balance in our lives is essential, it takes some work & time. Stay on your plan & you will get there!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[abcowboy]

Hi all! I've been lurking almost everyday. Even if I don't have something to say, I'm happy to hear all your stories, and how your sober life is treating you. Some days are a struggle, and some days are a reward, and as long as we have more of the latter, better for us. I have had an interesting few weeks, but with daughter dearie all settled in her new home and job, I realize that I have to still work on what is normal when I don't drink anymore. How much better my life is that I no longer have to live with shame, anxiety, or regret due to drinking. Life sober is good! And if we actively look for the good that was hiding under the oily film of alcohol, we can find it. Most surprisingly, it was likely there all along, we just didn't think to look for it. Please keep sharing, I gain so much encouragement from your posts, seeing visibly how we grow into new, better, sober lives. It is a lot of work, but we all need to find a new normal, the sooner we find the new, good normal, the easier it is for us to ignore the siren song of alcohol.

Have a great weekend my friends, remember, stay away from the bad stuff eh!

[Byrdlady]

Quick fly in. I am joining the rest of America today... Yes, I am going to Wal Mart. I'd rather have a root canal. I thought I'd get there early before all the other Wal-Martians show up. If I'm not back in 3 days, send help! Going to get some cake glaze! ( sorry, NoSugar). Xo, Byrdie

[Suek]

[QUOTE=Resolve;1581256]Ah, the weekend... I must confess that sometimes it does feel more like blahhhhh, the weekend. Weekends have become something very different, and though in a good way, I have to remember that I've now developed a peanut allergy and that all alcohol is primarily made from nuts. Ok, so that's not true in either case. What I mean to say is weekends aren't what they used to be and that's exactly my point.

I feel the same way, weekends aren't as exciting as they used to be.....AL was a stimulant for me, then a depressant.
I am doing a lot of reading, books, websites, forums and believe all this has to do with the brain's neurotransmitters sites, which take a while to restore back to normal.
In the meantime, maybe weekend treats are in order?
Think of all the money we are saving on AL, so maybe a massage, yoga class, crab legs, lobster, new haircut or something to reward our progress while waiting for the brain to heal????

Off to the grocery store to buy some treat for dinner tonight....OH and wearing the jeans that didn't fit while still drinking AL only 28 days ago!!! NOW there is a weekend treat!!!:happy2:

[Matt M.]

Quick fly in. I am joining the rest if America today... Yes I am going to Wal Mart. I'd rather have a root canal. I thought I'd get there early before all the other Wal-Martians show up. If I'm not back in 3 days, send help! Going to get some cake glaze! ( sorry, NoSugar). Xo, Byrdie

You like the root canal theory better than a pit bull gnawing genitals theory? That hurts my heart- T. ; )