Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

And NoSugar - I'm with you about the healthy fear.

Good Advice, STL. I don't have as many copies as you do. Maybe I'll shrink one for my wallet. Another tactic is to right down all you've gained from quitting drinking - keeps the focus on gratitude.

Sho - Read and post, read and post. I recommend some blogs - Maybe NS will help us with a link to that resources thread to keep you busy.

Embrace, Halo - Hope all is well.

Resolve - I was the same way with medicine. Haven't gone back to OTC yet, but maybe soon!

LB, Nar, Ava, Lav - Hope you're good.

I am sure I am missing someone here. Sorry!

Pav

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Morning everyone!! Day 6!!! Made it through my day. Whew! Amazingly for some reason the urges just went away. I don't know if its the fact I consumed about a million calories yesterday or I absorbed myself finding new Epicure spices to buy for my cooking and drug the kids out to go pick them up then came home and cooked a really delicious/health and yet simple meal. Made me happy for the rest of the night to see them all clean their plates. Today is a family day with concerts and parents coming to visit so I know for a fact I wont be going to get anything today. It really does help to post and talk through these feelings and emotions. We're going through a very sad family time with my close cousin who is not fairing so well with her cancer and is in the hospital. We are the same age, kids the same age and we grew up together. It's been a very emotional night and I really held my husband my kids closer. It puts things in perspective how precious this life we are given really is.

[NoSugar]

You're sounding really committed, Sho! You'll never regret doing this.

Here are some links for anyone who wants to keep busy and be reminded why not drinking is the way to go (and some tips on how to do it):

Toolbox
Movies, Books, and Music
Online Media Toolbox

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

I just worry about the time I get idle hands, or just get fed up. I know those moments will come, they always do.

[Samstone]

Shosh
take real good inventory of how you feel RIGHT NOW. If possible, don't think of the what if's and IF that moment comes, recall your inventory. It will help chase the demon AL away.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & happy Hump day

Pav, I'm pretty sure Byrdie feels the same way I do at this point in the game. I have no immediate fear of drinking because I just don't drink. But I do keep the realization (fear) of what would happen to me if I drank again tucked right in my back pocket. I do not want to go there again :egad:
I have absolutely no need to test those waters ever again! Gratitude fills my heart & head, no room for AL!

MR, good to hear that your brother came through his procedure OK. Keeping you in my thoughts today.

MrB, glad you are sticking with us!
ABCowboy, hope to hear from you soon as well

Wishing everyone a great AF Wednesday!

Lav

[Pinecone]

Hi everyone,

Shoshanna, I smiled at your description of your day. You did a lot of the right things! Staying full and busy really helps. Have you really crawled through the toolbox thread? Worrying about a specific thing and our sobriety (i.e. idle hands time) is just a nudge to ourselves that we have to shore up our plan in that area. If we are serious, we should have a plan and backup plans to get us through. This should not be left to chance. Chance will always put a drink in front of us at some point in life. I find visualizing my response to these events to be helpful. Olympic athletes practice a form of visualization, which allows them to mentally practice their course or event in their heads, even if they are not in that situation. I think that can work for us to. Plan, plan, plan. Did I say plan? I thought I had a pretty good plan until I read a post from our Dear Byrdie. She posted that if someone gave her a drink and she sipped it and tasted alcohol, she would spit it right back out into the glass. Holy smokes, THAT is planning. I'm so glad you are seeing the benefits of AF life. It is so much richer.

Moss, good news about your brother! I've appreciated your posts here recently. I posted that from my phone last night before bed so I guess I didn't get to expand on my thoughts much. I have a keyboard now so it is easier to convey my thoughts. I have read many, many accounts of relapse since joining here and I think it is the most difficult thing to address. Like Matt, I feel a real mix of emotions. I just paused for a really long time because I don't even know what to type next!! I guess I'll be thinking about that today.

I have a lot going on in my life right now. Big changes at work for both my wife and I, family issues that need improvement and blah, blah, blah the kind of stuff we all have. It has been kind of a stressful couple of months for me but drinking is not part of the equation at all. I wish everyone the endurance to just push on a little bit further because we really can learn to deal with things and make forward progress in life, even when it isn't all roses. I think someone on here has this avatar that says "Don't give up just before the miracle happens," and I really like that. The miracle isn't a sudden beam of light and chorus of angels. For me it is an authentic AF existence that is truly comforting.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Hitting the road today for an overnighter....this USED to be a free pass to Oblivion.com, but now I use my hotel time to catch up on things! I used to get so frustrated with myself when I hadn't planned ahead well and didn't have enough booze packed. When I got to my destination I'd have to drive around and find a liquor store, sometimes this took a while, and I would mad that it was cutting into my drinking time. Aye, aye, aye.....I have come a long way!
Yes, Lav and Pav, staying in the nest helps ME tremendously. Keeping AL in its place is a key to my recovery. It's just too easy to lose sight of how is REALLY was. (The Misty Watercolor Memories and all). It was a battle I waged every single day....and lost. That's pretty defeating. NO MORE BATTLES. You win, AL! I know when I'm beat! Let's call it a day and you go your way and I'll go mine! I HATE AL.

Hope everyone has a great day! I will check in tonight from the road! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Alcohol is a very good salesman - but he's selling bullshit. Gosh, he's good and sneaky. He finds every angle, every crack in our reasoning - like the devil himself. A fellow Nester just pm'd me one of my past posts where I "played through" the events of an evening after having "just one". Not pretty - not from any perspective. Alcohol is a dead end road full of pain, lies and illness. The buzz isn't even fun anymore. Glad to be moving on.

If you are struggling, I highly recommend playing through the events of taking that first drink. What are at the pros? What are the cons? The only pro I found was a remorseful, slight buzz for an hour or two. The cons were a mile long and lasted a lifetime. Thanks for the reminder COWBOY.

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

What is it about crappy weather that makes me have drinking thoughts. It's pretty craptastic here right now, high winds and rain and not nice at all. I've had thoughts of curling up with a drink under blankets and watching a movie. Reality is I wouldn't enjoy the drink I would guzzle it down, miss the movie and with small kids that doesn't happen anyway. I can't remember the last time I got to watch a movie all the way through without either falling asleep or missing it because of the kids. Another day of thoughts to push aside and plow through. Blah.

[NoSugar]

Hi, Sho

I don't mean for this to sound patronizing or trite but many of us have found that focusing on what we're grateful for, even the littlest of things, really makes a difference. I used to compare any situation (good, bad, or indifferent) I was in to what it would have been like if I were drinking, just like you did in your post above (dream vs reality). Then, after I made the comparison, I would try to be consciously aware of and grateful for what not drinking was offering me. The more you do this, the more it becomes a habit. It still is in the background of my thoughts, all day everyday. Keep posting away! We love hearing from you, NS

[KENSHO]

I drank through my kids younger years Sho, and I regret every minute of it. The demands on a mother of young children are high. Can you find any time for a bath or is there any wonderful warm food for your cold day that you can have? Maybe make oozy-gooey fudge brownies and share with kids? Find something, ANYTHING else - I know you can do this!!

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Hi, Sho

I don't mean for this to sound patronizing or trite but many of us have found that focusing on what we're grateful for, even the littlest of things, really makes a difference. I used to compare any situation (good, bad, or indifferent) I was in to what it would have been like if I were drinking, just like you did in your post above (dream vs reality). Then, after I made the comparison, I would try to be consciously aware of and grateful for what not drinking was offering me. The more you do this, the more it becomes a habit. It still is in the background of my thoughts, all day everyday. Keep posting away! We love hearing from you, NS

I completely agree, maybe its just the family issues putting a damper on things. But I have a tremendous amount to be thankful for, and something I actually acknowledge every day. I'm avoiding not going out alone, with everything going on I want to keep my head clear and my feelings unclouded. I'm a little emotional as it is worrying. On a very good note I saw my daughter in her Christmas Concert this morning and she was amazing, I couldn't stop smiling.

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

I drank through my kids younger years Sho, and I regret every minute of it. The demands on a mother of young children are high. Can you find any time for a bath or is there any wonderful warm food for your cold day that you can have? Maybe make oozy-gooey fudge brownies and share with kids? Find something, ANYTHING else - I know you can do this!!

I know so many people who have done the same thing, a lot of them family as well. Breaking the mold would be a great life changer, not only just for me. And Brownies sound amazing!

[KENSHO]

And you will be teaching your kids that they don't need to abuse alcohol. It's one of my big motivators... what do I want to model for my children? Certainly not a life of addiction. Now they know that mommy doesn't drink grown up drinks - previously they saw a drink at every meal (and me tipping the bottle from the bottom shelf in the pantry, and from a different bottle in my office closet, and one in my center console of my car... what an unfortunate image).