Newbies Nest

[Pinecone]

Hi Friends,

SoftFocus, I had been drinking way past the point of knowing that it was time to stop. I had let so many promises come and go "I'll quit after..." During my last drunk, I passed my wife in the bathroom and saw a sad look that I was very familiar with. For some reason, that was it. The full weight of what I was doing to myself and my family came crushing down on me and it was too painful to go on drinking. In tears, I wrote myself a letter and promised to get outside help. I spent the next day looking up phone numbers but then I found this website. It wasn't an arrest or a car crash, loss of a job or a major external crisis, but it was a profound experience. I'm careful to treasure the memory of that feeling, because it may only come once. This is a progressive condition. You may be only binging now, but eventually we will all end up in the same hole if we keep drinking. There is not much of a view from down there. Good enough? Please don't sell yourself short, SF. You truly deserve AF life.

Daisy, you sound so positive! Almost two weeks down already, and during this season. RESPECT!

Hi Beachgirly, glad you checked in!

[open halo]

Soft Focus , I have just come back as well, I was AF for 5 1/2 months and then started drinking again, not all the time but socially, thinking I could moderate and then the binging began. For you, like me, there must be a reason why you have come back. The question I am focusing on now is not "Do I need to become AF?" The question I am asking this time around is "How am I going to accomplish an AF life?"

It has taken me awhile and even though I didn't drink every day, not even close, my binging increased and was affecting my life so negatively, the worst part, I wasn't the only one suffering. Our actions just don't affect us, a lot of people around me were suffering from my AL abuse, at first I tried to justify it wasn't so bad, but I was the only one who thought so...

There comes a point where enough is enough. Wishing you well Soft Focus...

[A new page]

For all the long timers, what changed in you that made you actually decide to stop?

SF

I am by no means a "long timer", but I have had some wake up calls lately, allergies popping up, not feeling right, other medical issues... have been wanting to quit and disappointed with myself when I find yet another excuse and don't. One day just decided to stop! And am very happy with that decision....I don't feel that I am missing anything, just grateful that I am sober.
Oh sure, it isn't easy, I think this is one of the hardest things to do when one is truly addicted, and I WAS......

There is SO much information on the internet, SO many recovery groups, SO many people seem to be trying to escape the wily clutches of alcohol.....

[frances]

Hi everyone! I'm off to Christmas party #3 this evening. It is the last one of the season until Christmas eve when we will have a family gathering and then again on Christmas. I'm feeling strong and ready. Hope everyone else is too!

[daisy45]

My drinking has been affecting myself and others lives for years but things went up a gear this year.....like New Page, my health was being affected in a very obvious way to me...never went to doctor but I could feel the scary effects on my body. Scared me senseless....this would have been the ultimate way to affect my childrens lives....to continue until alcohol takes me!
The numbing on my face, fingers, arms, even my lower leg. Panic attacks where I didn't know if I would survive another night. Fear gripped me. And so here I am.......grateful even to be that scared because otherwise I may be just saying 'feck it' yet again and continuing on my not-so-merry way.

[MossRose]

Good evening nesters! I just got home from a long day of running errands and visiting hospitals. The news is fairly good on both health fronts, so I am happy tonight. I stopped at Whole Paycheck...um...Whole Foods, and picked up a few items, hit the health food store for some niacin (explanation to follow), did a little Christmas shopping, and now I plan to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the night.

Welcome ANP. Glad you found your way to the Nest. It sounds like you have the right attitude - gratitude for being sober, rather than feeling deprived. Hope to see you around.

Soft Focus - you have gotten some good advice from the long-timers. I'm still an "old-newbie" so I can't offer much great advice. But I can say that for me, the change came when I started losing the respect of people I hold dear. When those relationships began to erode, I knew I had to make a change. Best wishes to you. I hope you find the answers you are seeking.

I downloaded this book today: The Vitamin Cure for Alcoholism: How to Protect Against and Fight Alcoholism Using Nutrition and Vitamin Supplementation by Abram Hoffer, M.D., Ph.D. So far, it's a very interesting read. In the forward, it explains that Hoffer worked with Bill W. years after he got sober to help him with lingering anxiety and depression issues. Bill W. was so impressed and enthused that he spread the word to other AA members. Unfortunately, he used official AA letterhead to promote the use of vitamins for recovery without getting prior approval by the organization, and the message got quashed. The science was sound, it was just ahead of it's time. So it appears that niacin is key to this approach. It must be the flushing kind, so I haven't been brave enough to give it a try yet. I'll let you know how it goes. If anyone has read this book, or tried niacin, I would love to hear your opinion. I know this probably belongs in the holistic section, but I'm too lazy tonight to start a thread. LOL.

Take care everyone.

[A new page]

thanks for the welcome, MR!
I have been downloading and reading a LOT of books lately. Found something new on Amazon, "Kindle Unlimited". You can download unlimited books for a monthly fee of $9.99. Oh, and free 30 day trial. There is a library of 700,000 books. Lots of interesting books on recovery available, or whatever interests you. Can read on IPad or other devices. Right now am reading "A Sober year, daily musings" and it is very insightful.

[BeachGirly]

MR - amazing.
Several yrs ago I had chronic fatigue and was sent to see Dr Hoffer. He was almost retired at that point. He had done a lot of his work on high levels of vitamin c for schitsophrinia .

Anyways, he put me on high doses of 14 different vitiamins and minerals - and I got better!!! I had been sick for 4 yrs, and better within months of his routine.
I am going to get this book and read it - I have faith in him.

BG

[KENSHO]

Hi Everyone. Just checking in, lest I forget how important it is to be in touch with those who understand. Hope the weekend is going well. How are you doing SHO?

Hi Daisy. Hope your party was easy and fun Frances.

MR, glad you are getting good news. And I will be very interested to hear about your niacin experiment. Please share.

I used to think I drank for social anxiety. But lately, I've noticed how easy it is to talk with other people I don't know. I don't think it's just that there is no alcohol in my system. I think it has more to do with the fact that I like myself more. I have decided to be a non-drinker, and in the process I have stopped lying to myself and others, and I respect myself more. I don't constantly feel like I'm hiding something, or inhaling when I talk with others, and my my head is not consumed with AL thoughts. I know who I am and I am happy to be me. It's really fun to learn what makes others tick.

Last night was my mom's birthday dinner. They had wine, I had cranberry & soda with lime. They served it in a cocktail glass - which I liked for some reason.

Anyway, feeling a cold coming on so I'm going to bed. Sleepy Sat. night - and I like it. Night All.

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

Kensho - So true! I have to give myself that extra push in social situations that alcohol used to give me, but once I do, I am much more engaged and engaging (at least I think so), as I have more confidence, and my head is clear to remember things!

Soft Focus - For me it was a bad (very bad) hangover after a week of too much drinking every night (known around here as the Thanksgiving Massacre). Full body anxiety. I FINALLY threw in the towel, accepted that I couldn't drink, and logged on here to start reading, posting, connecting and learning. What a relief.

I had lunch with an old friend who thinks that she drinks too much today - she kept saying, "really? You hang out with all your drinking friends and you don't mind? you have fun? How is that possible." The difference is - I don't drink. I am not bargaining with myself, feeling deprived and thinking - well in 10 days my "detox" will be finished - I wish I could drink - when can I drink - maybe if I only drink on weekends - I'll count my drinks from now on - I'll never drink more that two except on special occasions - look, it's a special occasion... It is SO MUCH EASIER (sorry to shout, but it really is) to stop drinking than to "moderate." Frees up so much time and mental space. Such a relief.

Way to go, New and Beachy.

You sound like me, Daisy - glad you got your card back. I locked my keys in the car two days ago. Really?

I survived a pretty dull holiday party tonight. I love the hosts and was happy to show my face, but it was a rather stuffy crowd, and I was happy to drive myself home pretty early. Not a twinge of wanting to drink. Feels so good.

Happy Sober Saturday.

Pav

[narilly]

Byrdie, thanks for the prize. I am so grateful to be sober and grateful for all you Nesters who are with me on this journey.
SF, I sttsrtedvto stop drinking when I woke up with a brutal hangover last Nov 12 th, I drank again at Christmas and New Years. Then a few more times until finally quitting April 12th. The last night I drank I was drinking extra glasses of wine at my MIL's house -sneaking them in the kitchen. I just could not get enough! I woke up with a hangover the next day and knew I was an alcoholic. That was it. I turned 50 after that and decided I want to live the next 50 sober.
Pav, what an interesting talk with your friend. I remember how I could never understand how or why anyone would quit drinking. It is SO much easier not to drink just like you say.

Lav, hope your having fun with your grandsons.

I went out with my girlfriends tonight and did not drink any wine, the soda water was just fine.

Goodnight.

[Rahulthesweet]

Hi everyone,

I yesterday tried audiobook app audible. I am always sceptical on idea of an audio book and always thought it was not people who have poor eye sight or can't read. Turns out I was wrong. I drive for long distances and it make sense to use that time for an audio book.

First book I hit upon was by accident but I decided to buy it anyways. Its called 10% Happier : how I tamed by inner voice. An interesting book about a journalist who started up fresh in competitive world of TV journalism and then became a drug addict and got rid of it and moved on to discover spirituality. I haven not completed the book yet but certain things did make me thing.

"You may have thrown the beast out of your apartment but he is doing push-ups in parking lot always ready to come back" well we know what the beast is.

It's not a book about drug addiction per se but much more than that.

Yesterday I went out for dinner with kids to Jonny rockets good so see kids playing with Baloons and enjoying. A family outing was just what I needed over the weekend,

Take care and have a sober weekend.

[NoSugar]

Hi, SF.

An interesting idea I heard to test whether you are addicted to alcohol is for 30 days, have exactly 1 drink of your favorite beverage (e.g. 5 ounces of wine) at the same time every evening (the time you typically begin drinking every day). You can't skip a day and you can't have more than one.

A person who is not addicted will think it is a weird experiment but can easily do it. Most addicts can do a quick thought experiment and not even bother - they know what will happen.

Giving that a try might help you answer the question for yourself one way or the other.

All the best, NS

[open halo]

Soft Focus wishing you the very best, this is a wonderful place with much support . When you are ready to take that final step, the amazing people on MWO will be here to provide you with advice and encouragement. Have a wonderful holiday!

[NoSugar]

I really like the experiment. I may or may not be an alcoholic but I definitely am a bloody-minded pain in the @rse. I'd be the sort of person to do that, be successful, have a day off on day 31 before getting fully shit-faced on day 32 and telling myself I didn't have a problem. SF

If you're not addicted, the experiment should be no more difficult than doing the same thing with a carrot :wink:.