Newbies Nest

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Good morning all, been MIA celebrating and enjoying my Birthday with my wonderful husband. My parents took the kids over night and we enjoyed a nice dinner together and a movie in our home. It was some very nice quality time together and I am happy to say I am now 11 days without AL. On a really sad note is my poor dog is very old and in the last 6 months has taken a few strokes, it took her a couple weeks to recover from each one. She has taken two this weekend and these ones were worse. She has started having accidents and is not sure of where she is walking. I may have to put her down, and it breaks my heart. I've had her for 12 years and I honestly don't know how I'm going to handle it when the time comes. We're giving her a couple days to see if she pulls through okay and if she doesn't we're going to take her in so she doesn't suffer. She has large cancer bumps as well, and I don't want her to suffer so I can keep longer. I'm a little emotional right now.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

I had a pretty good night's sleep after my epic kiddie weekend - nice

Hello & welcome ShawTHo, glad you found us! Have you gotten a good plan put together for yourself? Stick around & let us know hoe we can help!

Kensho, your thinking is clear & you sound determined, great!
I didn't begin my drinking career until after my kids were grown, I was a late bloomer. Not missing these precious times with my grandkids has been my major motivator & I am grateful for them :hug:

Pav, a few moments of feeling irritated that you can't drink is a small price to pay for your eternal freedom - am I right?
Glad you are able to work your way thru those moments unscathed!

Sho, sorry to hear about your dog. One of mine just turned 12 last week as well & is showing signs of aging. I've lost several dogs over the years & it is heart breaking, they are real members of the family. I try to remember that the lifespan of a dog is much shorter than ours & the important thing is to provide them support & comfort in their later years. You have the opportunity to teach your kids that death is indeed a part of life. Be strong for them & be fully present for them :hug:

Wishing everyone a good AF Monday!

Lav

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Thank you Lav, it is very hard. I have two and they are sisters, and I worry how her sister is going to be as well without her. They become your babies, you love them and take care of them and nurture them.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Welcome back ShawT! I remember you!! Great to see you again! That Butt Velcro is around here somewhere.....OK, WHO HAD IT LAST??? :haha:

Hope everyone is setting up for another sober week! I know I am! I can just see that B____rd AL out in the parking lot doing push-ups!

Hugs to all, Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Sad news Shoshanna. It hurts so much to let our furry ones go. I felt so much pain, but relief too.

Byrd, I woke up thinking about your earlier post - about the three categories of us. There were 1. those who struggle, 2. those who struggle, and 3. those who don't. I know which one I want to be. Thanks for your great way with words!

On to a crazy week before the kids go on break. Lots to get done. I woke up feeling strangely blue - I can't wait until the 21st when the days start getting longer here. The lack of light gets me, though I think the vitamin D I take helps.

Have a great day everyone!

[Ginger999]

Shoshanna, I'm sorry to hear about your little dog. We had to put down our 19 year old girl this summer. It had gotten to the point that I was keeping her so I didn't have to face the pain I knew would come with her absence in my life. I was also scared that the loss might throw me into a relapse. Thankfully, it didn't. It was so hard to say goodbye to the sweet little thing. It was terribly hard just as I thought but it was the kindest thing for Ellie. Fortunately, we can do that for our pets. Ellie's dog sister Ginger was okay after about 4 days. Good luck with making that decision. I'll be thinking about you.

[narilly]

Byrd, I woke up thinking about your earlier post - about the three categories of us. There were those who struggle, those who struggle, and those who don't. I know which one I want to be. Thanks for your great way with words!

Byrdie, I loved what you said too.
I thought I posted last night but I must have just read your posts and went to sleep. Geez, forgetfulness even happens when we don't drink!

Rahul, your post was inspiring and I am going to read that book and also the one Roadside suggested. My list of books is getting pretty long.

Hey, all this talk about moderating, drinking again or feeling like it wasn't so bad. (I am paraphrasing here) How bad do you want it to get before you quit? Really, we can go as low as we want before we quit but why do that? Quit before you hit rock bottom and have to climb back up or before drinking kills you and you can't climb back up.
My hangovers were getting SO bad I could not stand it. My body was telling me something and it was STOP DRINKING THIS POISON. Why would I not listen to it...you know my worst fear is ending up on Dialysis and that's what would have happened to me if I kept drinking.
I remember reading a post here and the person said she wished she had quit drinking 20 years ago. She was 70. Well I am 50 and there is no way in hell I will be drinking for the next 20 years and then posting that I wished I hadn't. Now is our chance to have the lives we want. That life for me is one without AL.

Sho, sorry about your dog. My little daschund had a stroke a few years ago and we had to put her down that day because she couldn't move. I still miss her so much. I loved that dog and I know how hard it is.

Pav, I had the same experience as you did. I went out with my girlfriends on Saturday and they had wine. I had a brief pang but then life went on and my soda came and I did not obsess about it.

Have a great sober Monday everyone!

[NoSugar]

If we knew for sure that we (and others) would survive our rock bottoms, I wouldn't feel so strongly about not waiting to hit it. We cant't know what that next drink might lead to. And if you're here, lurking or participating, it is way too late for trying to console yourself if something really bad happens that you had no idea... If you're here, you know you have a problem with alcohol.

The day I quit was no better or worse than most of the days that preceded it over the last couple years. It wasn't the first of the year or month. It wasn't a Monday. It wasn't my birthday or any other meaningful day. It was just the day that I decided I was done. I didn't know how I was going to manage it and it turns out I needed plenty of help from people here but I could no longer live like I was.

Four months after I quit, some personal situations evolved that would have been impossible for me to negotiate if I'd been drinking - at least without getting "caught". Over the next year and half, more changes have come about and my not being a drinker has made all the difference - not just to me, but also to members of my family. Maybe all of this was a coincidence or maybe I finally heard the message the Universe/God was sending me.

That voice in your head that led you to a Stop Drinking website is one you need to listen to, even if there are other voices in there telling you you're not that bad. The worried voice is the one from the real you who hasn't come under the spell of alcohol and who knows you're in trouble.

Please don't wait until the choice isn't yours to make.

[Resolve]

It took me awhile to come to a place of acceptance with my boozing. I knew for these last few years after many a lapse/relapse what was happening, and how irrational and illogical my thinking was, but now i feel i have moved forward because of one major shift in my thinking. Acceptance. I now have a greater acceptance of my relationship with AL, but it has taken a long time to get this through my thick head. I now have a much greater ability to play the tape forward and know where i'll end up soon enough.

Lots of good reading back from the weekend. G's quote stood out for me since this has been a bit of a game changer for me as well. The play it forward aspect really works much to the dismay of our pining booze brains. Since we've all been down that road too many times to count, eventually (we hope) to hit that point of the no surprise ending because we can choose to rewrite a soberly ever after ending. Despite whatever we try and tell ourselves, we know with absolute assurance that nothing will be different this time or next time if we drink. By going down the rabbit hole, it's both a visualization technique, coupled with the all-too familiar personal experiences, that can help lead to a balloon deflating sound of any bargaining or dreamy thoughts about drinking. It's taken time to get more comfortable with this but it's an effective means that allows me to fast forward to a last place finish.

The idea of acceptance and what that means is another big one to come to terms with. It's a process to develop a problem with alcohol and a process to get to the point of acknowledgement of a problem. Acceptance came into play for me with the awareness and admission of a problem, and then with that the beginnings of a plan to end the relationship. I will chime in and echo the conversations of not waiting until you hit a rock bottom moment or that final hard slap in the face announcement that this is the sign. Not too long ago I had that painful moment and still absolutely hate that I did. The aftermath and consequences have been even harder acceptance. It's getting better but let this be a friendly plea to not wait for the ugliest of experiences to drive home what you know by virtue of being around these parts. The one and only certainty here is that the Group 3 way of thinking that Byrd described is truly the only way to stop the insanity. Though not easy, like many I have accepted that it's the only answer.

I hope everyone has a good week and strong plan lined up as the stupid season continues in full swing!

[BeachGirly]

Good morning,

I too was thinking of the types of drinkers. (Bryds post).
I have always known having a positive mindset can make a difference. It is great to hear how that has worked for others. I do not fight with AL anymore. I have accepted it is not good for me and I am grateful I have been given a wake up call and been lead to this site for support.

Sho, so sorry about your doggie. Hugs as you go through this!

BG

[NoSugar]

Soft Focus, I think you've helped newbies and oldies alike by opening yourself up and raising the topics we've been discussing. It has been helpful to me. Thank you, NS

[See the Light]

Hey all- Hope everyone is well…haven’t had much time except to read a few posts here and there (holiday stuff, kid stuff, other stuff) but wanted to check in quickly (being busy is good, by the way..I never seem have time anymore to think about the drink). One thing I’ve noticed here recently is the need by some to feel like they should apologize for who they are, how often they struggle or have struggled or even the way they use these boards..I hope that is just everyone being humble- to me the greatest thing about this forum is that there is a common unity….everyone is here to help or get help, so I hope the freedom of expression can carry on without concern or judgement…it is a critical part of the healing process to get it out, and many of us would do anything to help another stuff the pain that comes from drinking…so keep on throwing it all there...someone will catch you you no matter what

ON a lighter note..I think last time I was able to post here, I had just read that article about drunken monkeys…so, today, as it turns out, I read that now we can blame our unexplainable love of AL on the apes…go figure

Biologists says humanity's love for alcohol is due to ape ancestors eating fermented fruit

http://www.theweathernetwork.com/news/articles/biologists-says-humanitys-love-for-alcohol-is-due-to-ape-ancestors-eating-fermented-fruit/41908/

http://www.forbes.com/sites/fayeflam/2014/12/03/scientific-study-helps-explain-why-people-like-alcohol-even-though-its-bad-for-us/

http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2014/11/26/1404167111

…anyway, enough of that monkey business....I hope to get some more time soon to read all the great posts I have missed recently…stay strong, positive and AF out there all

[Guitarista]

Good to see you STL.

Yeah, i always knew my boozing was linked to my great great great great uncles.

Take it easy y'all. Think positive. It can be a negative world out there, and sometimes rather than just follow, we have to blaze our own trail.

[MossRose]

Oh my God. I started this post half an hour ago and was going to tell you all how good things were going. Then the phone rang. Everything went to shit in 15 minutes. I can't even talk about it right now. Just glad to know you are all here. Please send me strength because people are depending on me and I must not drink. Thank you.

[Guitarista]

Oh my God. I started this post half an hour ago and was going to tell you all how good things were going. Then the phone rang. Everything went to shit in 15 minutes. I can't even talk about it right now. Just glad to know you are all here. Please send me strength because people are depending on me and I must not drink. Thank you.

Hi Mossy. Sounds like an external situation is messing with your internal equilibrium and balance?