Newbies Nest

[Cherokeer]

Sho, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It's heartbreaking to lose a treasured pet. They are part of the family. Drinking won't take the pain away it will only make you feel worse. We put our German Shepherd of 12 years down and it was heartbreaking for all of us. We all cried like babies. I wish you strength and comfort for what your about to go through.

[A new page]

Morning everyone, Day 12 and a sleepless night for me. Thank you everyone for the kind words about my dog, it's been hard. We've decided that tomorrow will be the day for her. I've had so much going back and forth that she may get better and the guilt that comes with it, I'm really torn inside. There are options to have her cremated, have her buried with other pets on a farm in the country or bring her home. And as hard as it will be for me I want to bring her home and bury her in the woods in our yard. She will be close to me and I'm hoping putting her to rest will be healing emotionally for me. I've got tears in my eyes typing this.

It was really good this to read people working through their urges to drink. It can come on so strong and so fast for so many reasons, and Christmas can bring out the sadness in a lot of people. These past 12 days no drinking have been really good, it's been hard at moments working through feelings I would normally work through with Wine or Vodka, but being there and present and feeling them all has been better. I'm praying for some strength for the next little bit, because I know I'll need it.

Hi Sho,
Very sorry to hear about your dog. I know how hard that is....
If you have the option available, it is much nicer if you can have the Vet come to the house.
If there can be a nicer......

Also hang tough! You picked a hard time to give up alcohol... my AV tells me that almost every day! (You can't quit now...you can start again January 1. That can be your New's Year's resolution...WHO quits now? What is Christmas without wine???"
But if we make it through the Holidays, the rest of the year will be a breeze, right???

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters!

I'm watching my grandsons until late morning so just doing a flyby for now!

Sho, everything will be OK, just hang in there. Treating our animals with loving compassionate care is the best thing to do :hug:

Daisy, ignore the mouse!

Have a great AF Tuesday everyone!

Lav

[Pinecone]

Good morning friends,

Moss, I'm glad to hear it.

Shoshanna, I am very sorry for your dog. I have had dogs my whole life and I know how hard it is to let them go. Like Lav said, I think it is wise to remember that their life span is not as long as ours. Even though it is so much shorter, they give themselves to us without holding anything back. If we could learn to live life that way too... I also take some comfort in the fact that dogs do not seem to want to cling to life at the end the same way that we do. They seem to accept it better. We lost our girl of 13 years last May and it was very hard. It seems like there are a lot of dog people here, and only dog people know what this is like. Lean on us, friend.

[Cocoflo]

Good Morning,

Sending good thoughts & strength to you Moss & Kensho! I have appreciated your recent posts, I can relate!!

Take Care,
coco

[KENSHO]

Sending good thoughts with you today Sho. There's nothing that makes that easier. Drinking would make it harder though. Please don't jeopardize how far you've come. I've found that I have been able to deal with pain a lot better without alcohol. We're intended to have pain and happy and all the emotions. They won't kill us, but alcohol will.

On the topic of quitting now, I think whatever time it is for (any of us) is the right time. The holidays can be overwhelming, but so can a lot of other life situations. The rules are the same - don't drink.

I have a sick little one today, and work out my ears. Last night I took a a walk with my dog and prioritized - what is really important? That seemed to dissipate some of the stress. Then I had a cup of tea LAV I will also make time for exercise this week. I used to be a daily exerciser in very good shape. Now I feel so far behind. But it should be nice and easy to start nice and easy, right??

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters.
Sho....all of our thoughts will be with you today. Sending you strength and peace. This is going to be a tough day with RAW emotions....FEELING it will be foreign to you, because we go for the numbness of AL, so just know that the only way out of it, is to go thru it. We will be by your side in spirit. A joy that is shared is doubled and grief that is shared is halved, so lean on us. We want to hear all about it. Tough, tough piece of business today.....Hugs dear lady.

Kensho... I identify with you and your job. STRESS, stress and more stress. I am working on this. Life is too short to let work suck ALL of energy out of me. I am trying to set more realistic deadlines so that everything isn't a heart stopping crisis. Retail as we know it will NOT come to a halt if my system isn't in one store when it opens. As I say, I'm still working on this.
My hubs asked me the other day what I thought caused my ALK'ism. That was a good question....I told him I thought it was the perfect storm of job stress, genes, opportunity and acceptance from society. It was a release valve and was quick and easy to implement. All these other methods of coping take time and effort to work, grabbing a bottle is instant. If I had taken the time to learn coping mechanisms all along, maybe I wouldn't be in this jam (says one strawberry to the other, ehehe). Who knows...as we mentioned yesterday, it is just years of gradual building until one day, there you are asking 'I am an alcoholic?' I asked myself that for a lot of years before finally accepting it....about 20 years in fact. I wish I had those years back to enjoy....a lot of them I wouldn't remember if it weren't for pictures! UGG.
Better late than never! How'd I get off on that tangent???

Moss, I hope you are ok today. I have a sticky note inside my drawer here....it helps me take stock sometimes when I get overwhelmed.

S Stop
O Observe
B Breath
E Experience
R Respond

Whatever you are experiencing, I wish you strength.
Have a great day everyone!!! Byrdie

[moni]

I guess I'm a newbie again. I was here for over a year, sober for a year... then thought I'd be okay to moderate again. I was wrong... One more year on I'm back to 2 bottles of wine some nights and drink until I pass out. I know why I do it, I'm lonely, not happy with my life but instead of doing something about it, it's easier to sit in on my own and get drunk. Then I do dumb things like drunk dialing, drunk emailing, drunk facebooking. Right now I absolutely hate myself. I think I destroyed a friendship/possible relationship. It was easier to push the guy away than sort myself out I guess or face the possibility of happiness. I'm such a waste of space.

[NoSugar]

Hi, Moni

I "liked" your post, not because of what you said (I'm very sorry you are so unhappy right now) but because you came here.

Welcome, NS

[Fin]

Hi Friends,

Wow, a hard couple of days with major cravings but alas, did not cave! There's nothing on that other side that I want anymore. Last night a buddy and I played at an open mic and again, the temptations were strong. All I have to do is remember how awful it feels to wake up the next day after even the slightest indulgence. It breaks our good routine and gives us the excuse to drink again and again. Anyway, I am so extremely grateful to be back logging day 14 vs. day 1. Once again, thank you all. If you're struggling, commit to that day 1. If you're logging day N, keep it up!! Don't give in to that awful shit none of us want in our lives anymore.

Being good,
-Fin

[Resolve]

Moni - first, welcome back. Despite how low you seem to feel, you've achieved something in the past that many here have not - a year of sobriety. So you know you've done that and can do it again. I bet it will help you, me and others if you tell us what worked to get and keep you on that path before. That leads me to my second thought which is you need to push that waste of space thinking to the wayside. I'm guessing you felt the polar opposite when you weren't drinking, so let's get you back on track with that commitment to being AF again and feeling good.

Hey Fin - two weeks and counting is great, you are literally rocking it!

[moni]

Thanks Resolve. It wasn't actually that difficult when I stayed away from it completely. I took it one day at a time and they clocked up. My social life did suffer but it's rather funny because now I'm back drinking I probably get out less, and do my drinking behind closed doors. I recently started running again, despite the drinking and started getting a nice figure back and a more positive attitude but I'll never be 100% there as long as I keep alcohol in my life.

[narilly]

Moni, glad you are back. Its a struggle for all of us. Keep coming back AND don't drink today!

[See the Light]

Welcome back Moni- sorry it is under such difficult circumstances. I’m sure you have already realized how much better that 1 year without booze was for you, even if it was a maybe little more boring. You are NOT a waste of space and shouldn’t ever think like that, you just have just made some mistakes..it happens to all of us..that is life. What you learn from them and how you move forward is what matters now. So now stopping drinking again should be priority #1..you can do again..you have to. Many of us have made the “I’m ready to moderate’ mistake…now you know for sure. When you stop drinking, I think it is imperative to fill the holes left behind with great things in your life ..find new things to like, revisit old ones..keep busy (not overwhelmed, but busy). Do whatever you can to avoid AL in any circumstance now..you can do bad things with it so treat it like the poison it is. Betty Ford was famous for saying something like if you knew you were allergic to strawberries you wouldn’t eat them, but it its much worse for us for AL..usually it is much harder to. Long term sobriety requires a person to be committed, recognize triggers and seek help when temptation is around. They need to use newly developed skills to avoid high risk situations, engage with people who are not substance abusers, deal with boredom and overcome emotional or traumatic experiences. Stick around and make that road back to your sober life a reality again. There is great help here.

[daisy45]

Good to see you here Moni.....your experience should be a great help to us! How you got the AF year, where it went wrong, how hard it is ti get back......welcome!
Well, up to find another freaking meesey caught in the trap! After 4 weeks! So traps in place again!
A very busy day again. Kids at 8.30, then my brother calls for breakfast 15 mins later...then my brother -in-law for breakfast, before he started work on my patio. The kids and my own children also needed fed. I stood at that cooker for 2 hours! Lunch 2 hours later and then dinner. My meals are not that regimented normally but when you have to cook for others it seems to go on all day, and is expected to be good.
2 kids were sick today and couldn't send them home as their pregnant mum was taken to hospital.

Another mouse prevention day...blocking holes and cleaning.
Proud of myself for siliconing my bath.

So, exhausted is not even the word!

But, all done and done sober! Day 16, yeeha!