Newbies Nest

[moni]

Thanks Avail. I sat there last night wondering why I spend so many nights drinking. It shouldn't be out of boredom as I work full-time, doing a degree part-time combined with kickboxing and circuit training etc etc I don't even know where I find the time. And it hasn't been every night but I don't have control over it. After 2 glasses of wine alcohol is controlling me and I can keep going with no regard for my own safety!!

[Guitarista]

Yo Nester's near and not so far,

I love this thread for many reasons. One is the diversity of people, backgrounds, environments, and stories. The common 'thread' of course is booze and the similar almost identical paths we find ourselves on. Aside from the fact we can all instantly relate and the warm camaraderie that that brings, i learn so much from you diverse bunch of loveable rogues. I may learn from a point or strategy that is repeated over and over, or someone else's story similar to mine, but told from another angle. It's an honour to be here in the trenches on the frontline with everyone. It's a sort of constant positive life therapy session. Well, i feel i'm moving forward with all of this 'i don't drink' 'you are doing it' 'Love yourself' 'Respect yourself' 'we are with you' 'well done' congratulations' etc brainwashing.

So pull up a branch folks, and get into it!

[Guitarista]

x post Moni. Hello!

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Good morning, back on Day 1. Yesterday was the hardest day I've had in a very long time. My daughters were crying, my heart felt tore. It happened so fast, I didn't think it would happen that fast. She passed with us around her telling her how much we loved her and we took her home and buried her in our yard. It was painful. I had wine, I didn't get drunk. I'm not making excuses and I'm not really looking for someone to show me tough love, please. I just want to talk and get out my feelings and emotions. I woke up this morning looking for her and missing her and with tears in my eyes hoping time will ease the pain.

[Guitarista]

Hi Sho,

I am so sorry for your loss. It is good to see you here and posting during what must no doubt be a very difficult time. Take it easy and take care of yourself friend. G

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Thank you G, I'm actually an emotional mess right now. My other dog, her sister didn't sleep at all last night. She had no one to snuggle with her like she always does, she's missing her too. I'm going through phases of being numb, to crying. I look out the back to where she is resting and I cry. She was loved so much. I'm happy she's not in pain anymore, but I miss her sweet face.

[Guitarista]

Thank you G, I'm actually an emotional mess right now. My other dog, her sister didn't sleep at all last night. She had no one to snuggle with her like she always does, she's missing her too. I'm going through phases of being numb, to crying. I look out the back to where she is resting and I cry. She was loved so much. I'm happy she's not in pain anymore, but I miss her sweet face.

Yes. It is devastating. I had to put my old dog to sleep too a few years ago now. It was a very hard and sad time. But I'm left with the wonderful memories and adventures we had. Take care.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Happy Thursday to all!

Sho, sorry you are feeling so sad right now. Try to focus on the good memories you have with your dog. Time does indeed heal. Turning to wine for comfrt was a habitual thing for me. But habits can be changed with a good plan.

Moni, hang in there! Each day you will feel a little stronger, you can do this!
Learning to love yourself & truly believing you deserve better helps a lot. Take it one day at a time, set small goals for yourself.

I'm watching my grandson for a few hours this morning then I have loads of work to get done this afternoon
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day.

Lav

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Thank you Lav, I don't plan on drinking at all today, or tomorrow. I'm back on plan and trying to remain positive. I knew it was going to hurt, but really I wasn't prepared on how much. Today is hard, and my husband is working late tonight so I'll be on to work through it, I hope people can put up with me. I plan on wrapping presents for the girls and focusing on happier times and moments and try not to let the grief get too strong a hold on me.

[okoren1]

When relapse is mentioned around here, I have seen the comment made, something to the effect that, "relapse often occurs before a drink is taken".

I am not sure what this means. Any comments?

[Elvis]

It means that there are warning signs that can signal when a relapse is coming. Below are some signs that I found on a website that said that a relapse may be close.

Romanticizing or longing for the old days
Believing you are strong enough to use again without falling back into addiction
Starting to reconnect with old friends from your addiction days
Becoming defensive and no longer able to accept constructive criticism
Beginning the pattern of denial that was present during the addiction
Changes in attitude or behavior
Sudden feelings of depression and loneliness
Breaking down of social relationships
Beginning to feel extremely stressed out and constantly tense
Resenting those who are trying to help
Withdrawal symptoms suddenly start to reappear
Loss of belief in addiction recovery program

[open halo]

Thanks for the list Elvis, many of those signs hit really close to home, especially the first two, both which contributed to me drinking again after 5 1/2 months of being AF, I'm printing out a copy as a continual reminder. Have a wonderful day nesters!

[moni]

When relapse is mentioned around here, I have seen the comment made, something to the effect that, "relapse often occurs before a drink is taken".

I am not sure what this means. Any comments?

I know in my case I planned it without realising it fully. I started by buying low alcohol wine telling myself because it was such a low percent it didn't matter. Then because i was in my opinion fine with that, no harm having a glass or two of the real stuff, then why not a bottle - 2 bottles!! I often believe there are two of me in the one body, the number of times I lie to myself or try to fool myself. A constant conflict of bad and good.

[KENSHO]

Moni, I'm pretty sure you are a wonderful person no matter what happens! We all are! Just sometimes we struggle and feel down. The fact that you are aware of some of the behaviors that aren't working for you is huge! You can't solve it all in one day, so how about just focusing on NOT DRINKING today? That's the ONLY thing you have to do - because drinking will not solve anything. I, for one, can tell you that my self image has changed completely without drinking. I am a much happier person and respecting myself shows to others. Hang in there - it all gets better! You are in the thick of the hard part and there will be time to work on your issues. Today, focus on not drinking! You can do it!!

[Fin]

Good morning, back on Day 1. Yesterday was the hardest day I've had in a very long time. My daughters were crying, my heart felt tore. It happened so fast, I didn't think it would happen that fast. She passed with us around her telling her how much we loved her and we took her home and buried her in our yard. It was painful. I had wine, I didn't get drunk. I'm not making excuses and I'm not really looking for someone to show me tough love, please. I just want to talk and get out my feelings and emotions. I woke up this morning looking for her and missing her and with tears in my eyes hoping time will ease the pain.

Sorry for your loss, Sho. Hang in there...