Newbies Nest

[moni]

Lav, belated Happy Birthday.

I slept better with my new bed linen and new pyjamas. Next door had a party so there was a lot of noise through the night. I may take a nap later. I had drinking chocolate last night to beat any cravings. It wasn't so much an AL craving in the end as it was a sugar craving. I keep forgetting how much sugar there is in wine and that the body has to adjust to that also. Hmm, that may also explain why my blood sugar levels were high at a recent blood test despite fasting over 12 hours for it. I don't eat a lot of sugar, I eat very healthily. Again, it comes back to the two 'me's' - I try to treat my body like a temple and then think nothing of knocking a few bottles of poison into it within a few hours some nights.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Saturday to all!

I'm up early & enjoying some coffee before my day really begins.
Unfortunately I do have to go out & look for a few gifts. I'm sure my daughter & DIL will be expecting something from me on Christmas eve, LOL

Moni, getting that blood sugar under control will benefit you in so many ways & will help stabilize your mood as well. Think about having it rechecked after you've been AF for a few weeks. I used L-Glutamine for a few weeks to keep me away from sweets when I quit - works like a charm

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Saturday!

Lav

[moni]

I am so angry and today is going to be very very challenging as a result. I had one arrangement planned in the run up to xmas. Just one, which was to be later today to meet a friend and exchange gifts. I don't have many people (if any) this time of the year. Not one of my siblings even extended an invite to me. My parents died two years ago and I always spent xmas with them. Anyway, this friend texted earlier letting me down and I'm devastate because I'm not sure I can stay strong for much longer. I'm not even talking about alcohol. I put on a brave face every day in life and I'm so tired of people letting me down and having nobody. Right now I just want to disappear.

[frances]

Moni I'm very sorry to hear how you are feeling. This time of year is so difficult for so many for whom it only serves to bring out lonely feelings even more. It is so hard. Could you talk to someone - a professional therapist/counselor - about how you're feeling?

Also, maybe you could consider finding a way to volunteer and be a part of something that is helping others this Christmas. It's not the same as having your family or friends with you but helping and giving to others can be very rewarding and could be a way to meet some great people, too. This is something I've read on here suggested by Byrdie and others many times as something very positive that we can do with all the extra free time we have on our hands now that we're not drinking - I think it is great advice. But first and foremost, with the way you are feeling today, I really think you could benefit from talking to a counselor/therapist who can help you with your depression.

[Kailey]

I'm so sorry Moni. I don't know you as I haven't been on these boards for quite a while and I'm just returning but your post really tugged at my heart. I'm sorry your day is not going as planned but please hang in there with not drinking. I really think that's the key to happiness - the rest will come in time. I love the quote at the bottom of your posts. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. That seems to really fit today. Hang in there!

[DreamThinkDo]

Moni, people do sometimes have to change arrangements, but it does not mean that they are shutting you out of their life. I understand those feelings of being 'unwanted' - and generally they were brought on because I was feeling bad about my life. Could you maybe go out for a while - take a book and spend the time you would have been with your friend having a coffee and watching people. Just imagine: frantic Xmas shoppers rushing by, while you watch them peacefully over a cup of coffee and - blood sugar permitting - a slice of cake. Try to get out, even if just for a while - a change of scenery may be just what you need.

[Fin]

I am so angry and today is going to be very very challenging as a result. I had one arrangement planned in the run up to xmas. Just one, which was to be later today to meet a friend and exchange gifts. I don't have many people (if any) this time of the year. Not one of my siblings even extended an invite to me. My parents died two years ago and I always spent xmas with them. Anyway, this friend texted earlier letting me down and I'm devastate because I'm not sure I can stay strong for much longer. I'm not even talking about alcohol. I put on a brave face every day in life and I'm so tired of people letting me down and having nobody. Right now I just want to disappear.

Hi Moni, on days like this I often ask myself what I'd do if it were my last day on earth. What are the things that bring me joy? It usually starts with food! I'll often go to my favorite breakfast spot where I know the staff (not personally), but in a familiar sort of way. After a nice meal I've often then gone for a hike, or walk in an area I find inspiring. Feeling full and refreshed I then have gone as far as doing something totally outrageous. For example, one time I drove out to our local airport and signed up for a glider flight! It was something new and daring. We were towed up to about 5,000 ft and then soared as free as a bird for about 45 mins. It was magical. Once landed I had such a new take on life! That "high" then inspired a trip over to the local museum where I allowed myself the time and emotion to really appreciate what was up on the walls. The point is there is so much to do and so much beauty in our world that we can selfishly consume. All it takes is putting yourself on the right path, moving in a positive direction as positive begets positive...it's a positive feedback loop make all the more spectacular knowing your in control of an addiction. That alone you should draw great strength from.

Thinking of you and sending all my best thoughts your way,
Fin

[A new page]

Could you maybe go out for a while - take a book and spend the time you would have been with your friend having a coffee and watching people. Just imagine: frantic Xmas shoppers rushing by, while you watch them peacefully over a cup of coffee and - blood sugar permitting - a slice of cake. Try to get out, even if just for a while - a change of scenery may be just what you need.

This can be a very sad time of the year of you are lonely. Another thing to do, and this really works....is to SMILE and go out with a cheerful attitude. Greet everyone pleasantly with a smile and a GOOD MORNING or whatever....
You will be surprised by the warm smiles you will get back, and that makes you smile even more, and feel even better.
Don't be upset by someone who rushes by looking harried and has no time, or cuts in line at the store, or pulls out in front of you.....they are just having a bad day. Give everyone an extra break this time of year, everyone is rushing so much to meet so many expectations! Feel good about yourself, things will get better AND they could be a lot worse.
Count your blessings.
AND if no one invites you or calls you, remember YOU have a phone also and can make the first move. I am pretty sure it is legal to invite yourself! I know because my sister just invited herself for a week!:happy2:

Have a happy AF weekend before Christmas everyone!!!

[moni]

Thanks everyone, I've calmed down a bit. Went for a 5km run and cried my eyes out all the way around the Park. Got over charged in the store (as I thought) for a chocolate reindeer and cried my eyes out all the way home. Dropped said chocolate reindeer coming in the door and completely broke down in ribbons. Decided to check my calendar then and realised a lot of my emotions this weekend are nothing to do with alcohol or christmas for that matter (possibly a little heightened) but due to mother flipping nature... I feel less 'crazy' now which is a relief.
I've decided to channel all my energy into my university assignments as between working full-time and trying to get those finished also, I always seemed to be rushed finishing them and not altogether happy then. I'm going to use this free time to make a start on the current lot.

[KENSHO]

Hi Moni! Stupid "nature"! Glad you let yourself break down - we all have to do it! Glad the reindeer could be a part of it too...

I've woken up yet again, thrilled to be alive and well (and not numb or hungover). Thanks to everyone for such good support and advice - I'm so lucky to have found this place! :heartbeat:

[Dottie Belle]

Hello all,
Just wanted to stop by for a little extra support this time of year. So many drinking commercials and all. NO time to let my guard down. Glad u ALL are here!!

[daisy45]

Hi all, was not able to check in yesterday....had a mad, good day. 12 kids for the party....I dressed as an elf...they loved it...my daughters done their nails and we done facepainting. We had a talent show....soooo cute!
Such a relief when it was over....realised when they were gone and I am now offially on my holidays that I have not been feeling relaxed in the evenings which may have been affecting my sleep. Last night I slept the best in a long time....ready for this break!
Last night brought a few AL thoughts....I really think exhaustion was the main culprit. I was running on 3 - 4 hours a night.
Having a very lazy tv and fireside day......catching up here and giving myself a boost to ward off any silly thoughts for the next couple of weeks.
Ava, I hear you...arse firmly back in place!
Lav, belated birthday wishes!

[moni]

Saturday evening, in my pyjamas and no booze in the house. That's a 1st in a while. I'm throwing on a romantic movie and going to dream about meeting Mr Right in the New Year....

Earlier I went for a nap. I realised afterwards that I hadn't napped like that since I was last off booze. Wonder why that is.

[daisy45]

Moni, I wateched Pearl Harbour last night....best film! It is 3 and a half hours long.....
If you haven't seen it, well worth getting.

[open halo]

Kensho, I second the motion, I sooooooo miss sleeping in!! They are a thing of the past with kids though!

Happy Holidays Nesters, I am off to a Christmas party tonight and have a plan in place, no AL for me.