Newbies Nest

[open halo]

Moni,
Hope you are feeling better. That's what I love about the MWO, there were so many excellent suggestions on how to cope with feeling down, the support from people on this site is so heartfelt and sincere. During the holidays I do some baking and give it out to the neighbours, it always puts a smile on my face!

[MossRose]

Moni - glad to hear you are doing better. The holidays can be rough if you are already feeling lonely. I truly understand. This is the first year that I made the first move. I guess I just thought that no one would want to come to my home, so I didn't extend an invitation. This year, I did almost by default, and I have quite a few people showing up on Christmas Eve. I even went outside the family, and invited a few friends and neighbors. There seems to be a lot of people who don't have anything going on that day. So I'm going to have a few people here. I'm very excited. Wow - for years, I sat in this apartment each Christmas and felt like everyone in the world was having a Courier & Ives holiday except for me. This has shown me how wrong I was. My advice is to reach out. There are lots of lonely people out there. And remember, you always have us. :hug:

I'm home now for the evening. I spent all day running around doing some Christmas shopping. It was fun. I stopped by Petco to pick up a present for my grand-puppy, and they were having an adoption drive. Oh my - 2 beautiful kitties stole my heart. I'm seriously thinking about adopting them. They are about 5 months old, and have lived together since birth, so I am loathe to separate them. I just have to get permission from my landlord, and try to negotiate the fee. It expensive to have a pet here, so I may not be able to do it. But they were so darn cute. Even if I can't adopt them, I did sign up to be a volunteer and help at the adoption drives. I made a half-hearted attempt at volunteering in the past, but now I'm ready to really commit. btw...I never knew how many people took their dogs to see Santa. It was a riot.

Dottie, nice to see you in the Nest. Hope all is well in your world. You are so right - we need each other more than ever this time of year. Peace to you all. Stay strong.

[moni]

Before I go to bed I want to thank everyone for their support today during my meltdown. I knew it was going to be an emotional few days for me. I got a message from a different friend tonight asking if I'd like to join her and her daughter tomorrow for a day out. I said I would absolutely love to and will. It's too easy to shut myself off sometimes too and I need to stop doing that.
Anyway, day 5 was successful. I'm proud of myself

[available]

Mon you are using MWO to be accountable and that shows your dedication to getting rid of al. I am a shocker with PMS, want to rip peoples eyeballs out but i would be sobbing hysterically while i did it. Each day is different in the early days, i said to my daughter yesterday that this time last year i was a manic mess and i remember just messaging her saying i really wanted a wine and her replying with "no you dont". I am not sorry those days are over i must add but I did it and everyone on here can too.

Pull out every resource and plan you have to stay sober. Even if you feel you have nothing left and think a drink will fix it, it wont. My daughter told me that she honestly thought i could not and would not give up al and that i am a totally different person now, i am happier and for that i am grateful.

[Byrdlady]

Good evening, Nesters!

When I am feeling down, I try to remember that no matter how sorry I feel for myself, there are so many others than have life a whole lot harder than I do. I have two strong arms and legs, I still have most of my marbles, I have a lot to be thankful for. The one thing I am MOST grateful for is my sobriety. It was hard fought and I threw many pity parties, but putting myself into the service of others REALLY helped. It gives us a purpose. That practice will get you out of a low spot in a hurry. There is a lot of NEED out there, get up and go find it!
Spending time with my stepdaughter, it has been a good day! Stay strong everyone! Do not give in no matter what!! It will he worth it! Xxoo, t

[daisy45]

Had a real toughie tonight! Already toing and froing with those thoughts, then one of my best friends rang to ask me down for a drink. She asked if I had been drinking recently. When I sais 'no', she told me to forget she phoned....she didn't want to feel responsible.
Anyway, at 9pm, decided to go shopping as the supermarket is open late for Christmas.
Picked up Chinese food on the way home. All ok again....relieved.
This past 2 nights have been my toughest since day1.

[available]

Its hard to forget a phone call when it has already been done Daisy lol. Starts that al brain going at a rapid rate of knots. Please remember if you have those al thoughts that throwing yourself into anything stressful is not a good idea. It does not take much for al to win in the early days until we feel more able to cope. Even now if i feel wobbly i will not put myself in any situation where i may drink and that will be for life. Its not worth it. Be strong and be safe and keep on here. Proud of you.

[daisy45]

Thanks Ava....wish my resolve was as strong as at the beginning.....I was desperate then and really need to remember how bad it got. Thank God it was this friend as I have spoken to her before about it and she actually helped as I was wrestling with thoughts before her call. She even offered to have me down for a night to drink tea!
I signed up yesterday for a years membership at the gym.....so I am set up to get fit again in the New Year. Just not trusting myself.......when I get so close to drinking I simply do not want to hear a 'no' , therefore don't reach out for help.
I know right now I want to live sober but in the midst of wanting to drink all common sense goes out the window.
Even now I can't believe I was even contemplating drinking only a few hours ago.....I did not and I am happy about that.....although I do feel like a tub cos I ate so much!

[NoSugar]

Had a real toughie tonight! Already toing and froing with those thoughts, then one of my best friends rang to ask me down for a drink. She asked if I had been drinking recently. When I sais 'no', she told me to forget she phoned....she didn't want to feel responsible. .

Your friend did you a big favor, Daisy. Do you think you would have said 'no' anyway? It's really important to have a plan for when things like this arise because one way or another, they will.

Going back to your own posts can help you keep your eye on the prize:

Thanks for the support guys!
Fin, coming back and feeling you are failing continually also leaves us open to being a little paranoid about how those on here feel about our efforts to get sober......don't worry about it...this too will pass. That is one thing I have learned this year more than the other 3 I have been here. I have been on this site more this year on day 1s than any other year......that is because I am determined to get it! I know exactly how you feel.
The past 3 years when I felt I wasn't able to get past day 1, I ran for the hills and drank for months without continuing in my pursuit of sobriety....no reading, just back to the way things were. So, which is the better option? Coming back! Again and again until we get where we want to be!
Even through drinking, this time I have continued in my efforts to read about it, talk, maintain contact in some way.....but I have kept coming back like a bad smell! Each time welcomed and supported....everyone here knows that for some it takes months, in my case years, to finally commit 100%.
So I am with you on day 2 Fin....praying this is it for both of us!

You don't want to have to start over, Daisy, just as you made clear here. When those thoughts of drinking arise, just push them out and focus on all you've gained. staying AF will be the best gift you could give yourself. :heart: NS


That was kind of a funny x-post, Daisy!

[available]

My resolve was not that strong Daisy but i was really at the "do or die" stage and that scared the bejesus out of me. All i thought was making it through the day and then seeing what tomorrow was like, which initially was a repeat of the day before. I could not live with the emotions daily of when i was hungover, i could not live with the blackouts and i was starting to hear voices when drunk, i could not live with the swollen gums, sores that took forever to heal, the children backing away. These are the things that keep me still going to keep sober. I cannot forget what i was like. I love who i am now but i wont ever forget and that is what keeps me determined.

Weight can always be lost in months to come. Focus on how you feel sober. It has taken me a year to not eat sugar daily and yes i have gained weight but its better than looking "like a worn out crack whore" as my son told me. And here i was thinking i looked great!

[daisy45]

Aw, thanks for that NoSugar! I would be a fool to mess up now....it took me 4 months to get back to it. 3 weeks tomorrow...I am grateful and must keep at it. I have more time over the next 2 weeks to be on here so I better make the most of it....

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Moni, glad it's just hormone hell, that can be managed!
Glad you checked in with us for support, good choice

Daisy, it is always a choice - to drink or not drink. We get to decide each & every morning when we wake up. If you really want AL out of your life forever practice saying NO THANKS. It's short & simple & leaves no doors open

Hello to all & wishing a safe & peaceful night in the nest for everyone!

Lav

[daisy45]

Ava, you have such a way with words.....or your son does! But a wornout crack whore has been my 'look' for quite a while....
I won't forget and don't want to....I feel mine was also do or die.....need to buck up my ideas as I am not going bac there!
Not worried about weight gain....I need exercise in my life as I have always done....just slacked off since I started minding the kids. It helps with my moods , sleep and overall feelgood factor.....
Thanks Ava and NoSugar for tonight....you have pulled me back to reality!

[BeachGirly]

Great posts here this evening - and wonderful support for Daisy.

Glad you made a good choice Daisy.
Glad you have found MWO

[open halo]

Back from my Christmas party AF, but there were a lot of people disappointed I was not drinking, some were even noticeably irritated....comments like, "It's the holidays, what's wrong with you.?"feeling a bit frustrated at the moment. Not with my choice but by the reactions of others. Just going to bed with a neocitrin of course, nerves are a bit shot