Newbies Nest

[Cherokeer]

Pepper I could have written your post about not really craving but so easy and habitual to grab a glass. My daughter had a bottle of my favorite red wine sitting right next to the kitchen sink where I was cooking and cleaning. It was almost a habit to look at it and want some. I didn't of course but it was tempting for a second. Only had to remember the past holidays where I used it as an excuse to drink day and night. Uh, aversion therapy works. I only have one wine glass in the house for my daughter. When I first stopped drinking I got rid of all my wine glasses. The DH still drinks a little every day, but its mostly beer, southern comfort, or moonshine, (BLECK!!!!) It holds no appeal for me, although there was a time where I think I (like you) would have drank whatever was in the house. Seven months in and I shake my head at how low I had sank. Enjoy, your vacation! Life is good AF isn't it.

Birdie, I too am now looking around at people. My daughter polished off 2 bottles of wine on Christmas day. She weighs 110 pounds so its a lot. I have been trying to subtly discourage her to not drink. For the last 5 or 6 years AL has been part of every Holliday (My Fault) and now I don't want that. I changed and now I'm trying not to be a Hypocrite. Hard road to navigate.

[NoSugar]

I'll save my lecture (and scary links :wink for 2015, TJ :smile:. I'm convinced we'd all be better off with less or no non-natural sugar in our lives but for this group, it is always a better choice than a drink! Congratulations to all of us who enjoyed an AF holiday!!!

[available]

Hi nesters

It is so gratifying to see so many stay sober for xmas. I think for me now i am at the gratitude stage. I could never figure what it really was when i first stopped drinking - gratitude. I was so not grateful for anything. Like Pepper, i knew i had to give up al for my family's sake, not mine, i didnt think i would be any happier without al. Initially i wasnt happy at all, i was pissed off completely. Why did i really have to stop something i loved (al)? Was it going to make my life better? How could i deal with being one of the really boring people in life when i was so much fun drinking (mmm)? How could i deal with stress, work, kids, mothers, animals. God all of this without al. TIME is how i have dealt with this and now i am forever grateful i gave myself that gift. Sure life sucks balls sometimes, i seem to have had a lot of crap to deal with this year sober or maybe its due to me actually being sober to deal with it! But i am grateful to be alive, i am grateful that i spent my 2nd xmas sober with my children. I am grateful that i laughed so much and i am grateful to see the love and how proud my children are of me.

I honestly thought my life would be over when i gave up drinking but there is a big wide world out there and not four walls that i used to hide in. Today i am off to see Robert before i fly to mums tomorrow, i am going on a date and hopefully i am picking Maddison up from the vet hospital. All of this entails lots of driving which in my drinking days would not even have been achieved.

Each day not drinking is a step forward, its hard some days to not drink but each day our coping skills get stronger.

Take care nesters, i need to get ready for the day. xx

[KENSHO]

What a hopeful post Ava. Thank you for that. I am feeling strong cravings tonight. They are a desire to "just let go and be on same page as husband". A getaway with him. A friday night like the old days. I am reaching for sparkling water now and will keep it in my hand ALL night - and see if maybe we can watch a movie to "escape" together. This thought has really crept into my thinking and I need to squash it NOW. I do not drink. Drinking doesn't bring me anything but pain and remorse. I'm reaching for old posts and, hell - if I have made it this far, I can make it one more night. Thanks for listening.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Spent a nice day roaming around the countryside just north of where we live. No crowds, no malls but we did stop in a few country shops. Definitely a non-stress day

Ava, I wish you safe travels & hope everything is OK with your doggie. Hope you find Robert in good spirits too!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. Stay put, you'll have no regrets

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Stay strong Kensho.
There is nothing to he gained by going back. Its just AL playing you like a cheap fiddle. I imagine your husband would much rather have the REAL, healthy you rather than the buzzed up you. It isnt HIM wanting you to escape with him its AL! AL will tell you anything to get you to fall. See thru all these LIES, thats all they are! There is only guilt, shame and remorse waiting inside that botlle.
Do whatever it takes to get thru this night and you will be so glad you did.
AL = DISPAIR. Xxoo, Byrdie

[narilly]

TJ, I agree with NS. Sugar is better than AL, if that's what it takes to get you through the holidays then so be it.

Cher, it is hard to tell our kids not to do things we did. Exactly, I feel lik a hypocrite too.

Ken, sorry your so cranky hang in there

Pepper, vermouth... Straight? Gross. I know you never wat to go back there.

I don't want to drink but am feeling a strong pull towards it. I just want a bit. FFS!! A bit is never enough. And I don't want to feel like shit in the morning. What the hell. Sometimes this AL brain is too much.
I am going to pour that wine out and get through these damn cravings.

[NoSugar]

You don't drink, Nar, because you are living the life you want. xx - NS

[narilly]

Exactly NS!
Well, I got through the nevening without drinking and am in bed.
NS do you have a link to that relapse thread? I know we start relapsing before we have a drink. I want to prevent that with me. I feel like I am headed in that direction and have to do something to stop it.
AL= Dispair
Byrdie, I agree totally. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

[available]

Nar hang in there lovely. "A bit" i like that. shame us alkies cant have that bit. I would so love to be a "normal" drinker but i am way past being normal in a lot of aspects in my life!. Its either all or nothing for us and you have too much to lose. What keeps me going is having to post on here that i drank and read the sympathy from your guys. I would not want sympathy at all. I would prefer a bullet! I cant let anyone on here down or my family. Look at your life now to before. Mine was a shell of an existence and al will give me all of "nothing" back. Al takes and takes and takes some more. What we have now is wonderful. Be safe Nar.

Date was a dud, Maddy is in hospital till tomorrow or Monday and i have not packed. Oh well shit happens. I think i will nap.

xxx

[NoSugar]

Here you go, Nar: https://www.mywayout.org/community/sh...-in-Retrospect.

If anyone has a story to add, I hope you will. Writing it out might help you understand better what happened and reading it surely can help others not make similar choices.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters!

Sunny but quite frosty in my part of the nest today - better than snow

Narilly, I hope you switch your thinking asap! Don't allow your thoughts to dwell in deprivation-ville. You are in complete control of yourself & your thoughts. Keep your thoughts positive & add something to your gratitude list, you'll be glad you did

Ava, sorry about the date, ho hum. I hope Maddy comes home stronger & healthier after her hospital stay :hug:

Greetings to all & sending wishes for a great AF Saturday for all!

Lav

[daisy45]

Hi all.....nar and Kensho, hang in there....you done great getting through the biggest part of the holidays...temptation is in our faces over this period but you will feel so much stronger when you realise you done the whole thing sober.
Away at 5am today to leave my daughters to the airport. They are heading away with their dad to Florida. So went back to bed for a few hours.
On the way home I came across a car that went off the road and landed in a field. It was covered in frost and on a dangerous corner. Rang the police who said they had checked it out earlier and there was no sign of anybody. Wonder was there alcohol involved? But glad there didn't appear to be casualties.
Being sober opens your eyes so much.....driving downtown last night to pick my girls up (yes, they were clubbing 4 hours before heading to the airport) we saw at least 3 young girls falling down drunk.....it is so sad that the alcohol industry/government take no responsibility for their part in this....I found myself feeling angry.
I have been thinking a lot about situations I put myself and my children in while drinking....I honestly did not really 'see' that I had a problem....getting sober time showed me that! Some days I feel so ashamed and guilty about my past and how things could have been different. I know I can't dwell on that.....just live like I need to today!

[frances]

Hi Narilly - hang in there, and I agree with Lav, gettin out of deprivation mode will really help. I 'went there' as you probably know, right around thanksgiving. Not worth it at all. Feeling stupid, disappointed, sometimes angry with myself and really hating that I can't say I am one year AF in February now. Instead here I am right around one month. I haven't even been counting this time because going back has disappointed me so much. I do know the date of my last drink (Thanksgiving) so I will start counting again at some point. But really disappointed that I did it. And it was not satisfying at all. And you know you can't moderate so there is no point in going there just to have to stop completely again! And I mentioned in my post on the relapse in retrospect thread, the mental thoughts get so much more intensified - it's getting better for me now but right after I drank those thoughts of drinking were coming way more frequently. Don't do it, you will regret it. And you will never regret not drinking!

Edit to add that you are doing such a good thing to recognize the signs you are seeing and trying to get your mindset back where it needs to be! Smart lady!

[Fin]

What a hopeful post Ava. Thank you for that. I am feeling strong cravings tonight. They are a desire to "just let go and be on same page as husband". A getaway with him. A friday night like the old days. I am reaching for sparkling water now and will keep it in my hand ALL night - and see if maybe we can watch a movie to "escape" together. This thought has really crept into my thinking and I need to squash it NOW. I do not drink. Drinking doesn't bring me anything but pain and remorse. I'm reaching for old posts and, hell - if I have made it this far, I can make it one more night. Thanks for listening.

Hi Kensho, I sure hope you held steadfast last night. As Bryd said, there's NOTHING to be gained by going back. That internal AL salesman is full of lies and I know it all too well. I've let that voice talk me into probably at least a half dozen caves over the past two years and they always lead to something worse than before. There's just no good outcome, but you already know this. Stay strong, friend...

-Fin

PS: Had a great, hard day of skiing yesterday with my brother and our two boys. Being 100% there, clear headed and not thinking about when we could hit the bar was nothing short of exhilarating. I'm now seeing so much more clearly how distracted I was by AL every day. Good riddance, I tell you what!