Newbies Nest

[available]

hi nesters

Well damn its hot where mum lives. Thank god they have air con everywhere but it is so draining. I got new specs from mum for xmas so they are ordered. I want to look more grown up and mature. I figured i just may act it. Nah not in this lifetime i hope. We get on so much better now i am sober. We laugh a lot and joke, something i never did when i was hungover and pissed off and held everything that happened in my life against her. Life is life and we can only make the most of what we have. I have all that i want at the end of the day. Well not really but it sounded good!

Kensho get rid of the bottle, i f you have thoughts about drinking that bottle will win hands down. throw it out, tip it out or smash it (whilst thinking of said babysitter). I kept no al in the house until after i had been sober 6 months, i put myself in no situation that would damage my resolve until i felt ready.

Nar, we cant say enough on here that this is our life and our quit we have to protect. I must say i am worried too about getting to 8 months and nearly caving. There has to be something going on other than a change in routine. i hope you stay safe and stay on here. I would hate to have to come over with a brick.

Welcome to the newbies. Always a busy time of the year after xmas and its great to see new nesters wanting to end the madness of al. If i can do it anyone can. Read lots, post lots and the days af will add up and up. Coming on here has saved my life.

Ps - Maddison is home from the vets but she is looking for me, she is with my daughter Mia so i hope in a few days she will be ok. I just dont want her to fret when she needs to get better.

take care everyone.

[moni]

I messed up I'm back on day 2. I'm not going to dwell on it or waste time beating myself up. Going to put that energy into getting back on track again.

[Eloise]

Nar? You mentioned before that the LGlut did help. I am almost 8 months sober and I still take it everyday, several times.
After all this you don't want to drink, you are sober a month and a few days longer than me. Come on girl, we are not going backwards after all this!!

:encouragement:

[Eloise]

I messed up I'm back on day 2. I'm not going to dwell on it or waste time beating myself up. Going to put that energy into getting back on track again.

Yes, back on track Moni. It was one day, don't make it more.
Sorry to hear about this but you have the right attitude.

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Morning all, Christmas was great and the best part was being able to remember it all. I honestly don't know what day I'm on right now I haven't been keeping track and I haven't been able to log in. But right now the whole house is down with the flu and I am feeling like a bag of shit. I've been washing bedding 2-3 times a day because the little one has been throwing up in the middle of the night in her bed and in ours. I swear, once they're all passed 5 and toilet trained and in school and no longer leaking things or projecting them into our beds I am getting a top of the line mattress as a prize for living through it.

[Lavande]

Good Monday morning Nesters!

Cloudy, rain on the way in my neighborhood today, oh well!

Hanna, hello & welcome back! Get a good plan together for yourself. Check out the Tool box for great ideas!

Moni & Soft Focus, getting right back on your plan is the best thing to do. It takes a lot of commitment to stay sober in the beginning. After some good AF time staying sober becomes habit!

Kensho, stuff happens, forget/forgive the childcare person, it's better for you

Ava, sorry you are dealing with such hot weather but good that you are enjoying your visit! I hope your doggie settles down soon.

Sho, sick kids around the holidays - boy do I remember that! Hope they feel better soon & be grateful you are sober to deal with all that!!!

Wishing everyone a great AF Monday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters,
Great to see everyone checking in! Back to the grind today....I am going to tackle that INBOX today! Hope everyone has a strong plan for the rest of the week, we are in the home stretch now! Here's the Butt Velcro, stay strapped in!! Hugs to all on a Monday, Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Ive worked childcare things out. I find it very hard to balance my job responsibility and family - I do my best but it seems to be a constant struggle that I barely manage. When someone I count on cancels last minute (because they just don't want to do it), it makes me mad. A little more notice would be nice - I'm spread thin and can't pull rabbits out of hats.

That said, things happen and life does go on - like Lav said. I will get some work done and enjoy more time with kids while they are young

Sho, so sorry your family has the yucks! It will get better soon and you will be on the mend.

Soft Focus, I understand your desire to "keep trying" to have a little - and I did that too. But, like you, I came to the point where alcohol held no pleasure any more. I think I used up all my pleasure points - so I'm now off to an alcohol free life where I don't have to think about it. Everyone around me has adjusted very well. I found that I gave so much more importance to alcohol then anyone else around me (except one person who has a tremendous problem himself). I say do what YOU need to do!

I didn't even really think about the booze on the counter (until I did) - it accumulated during Christmas and tends to be around from time to time. But there's no reason to look at it all the time. I will pour it out when I go in to make coffee. Duh!

To anyone new and reading, someone once told me that I would never regret choosing to not drink - and that has been 100% true for me. My only regret has come from trying to keep alcohol in my life.

EDIT: It's down the drain! I held my breath so I wouldn't smell it. One of my downfalls is that I am a fighter - and have come to believe that I can do anything with enough effort and will. The problem is that there are things that aren't worth the fight. That is something I need to learn more about. It's good to get all alcohol out of sight. Thanks.

[narilly]

Way to go Ken! Pour it down the drain. My kids and their friends drank all the booze left over from Christmas so it is good here.
Soft, glad you posted that. It helps me. I don't know why I need to keep reminding myself I don't drink. I am not going to drink though. It makes me feel terrible and I hate being sick.
I am looking forward to another week off.

My FIL has been in the hospital since Christmas and we have been going to see him everyday. He is having kidney problems and is a heavy drinker. I don't think drinking all these years has helped his kidneys. My mil is sick too and was in the hospital for one day. So that has been a bit of a struggle for the family.

[narilly]

Byrdie, I can have the life I want or I can drink. Exactly.

[Resolve]

Back in the sober saddle of home and the grindstone of the office and couldn't be more glad about that. I've read back after being out of town and see that holiday experiences for most seemed to have gone well. I am so over the visiting and gatherings and am quite frankly ho ho'd out. Though I love family and appreciate extended family, they really make me want to drink sometimes...but I haven't and didn't and feel good about that. Being off routine, out of your bubble and in the scope of others had its moments. Like many here I found myself distracted by bottles and glasses of various booze at many events. I don't dwell anymore or focus on them, no more lingering looks and I just divert my eyes and thoughts immediately elsewhere. Now that didn't help when booze breath came my way from many whether in conversation or hugs (did I really think I didn't smell like that in the past despite my best efforts?). What I found and struggled with most though was some combination of feeling bored or boring, and I'm realizing more and more that I drank in part in the past out of boredom. Yes, this was excuse #64 or so, but I know that when all else failed I convinced myself I was never bored when party in a bottle was around.

And there were times over the past week I wanted to crawl out of my skin during small talk or repeated topics with someone I haven't seen in a year or more, but I never felt any strong urge to cave in and drink . Though the initial buzz and euphoria seemed to be a go to cure for boredom in the past, it holds no appeal now when I play through every other stinking negative aspect of drinking. One interesting note for me that I appreciated was that I couldn't wait to get home. Now that is probably normal whenever being out of town staying with family no less, but it has taken time for me to view home as a safe haven. Home used to be where I preferred to drink alone and in private, and when I first quit I struggled mightily with how to fill my time in the very place I most associated with drinking and did the most damage. Now I feel comfortable at home because of new habits, new associations and keeping myself occupied, all stemming from the constant plan of action that we need.

If I am boring now so be it. I know that isn't true, and like many aspects of being an alcoholic, knowledge alone doesn't drive all these points home. Time and distance from our former selves and habits continues to be our best friend. So if I walk in the room and people start snoring, or I nod off from what feels like my boredom, that's fine by me for now. Getting through the worst of the stupid season has solidified even more that the fight is over and my better AF life continues. And I'm liking it. I know that I can't, don't and won't drink, and I'd rather feel like a boring or bored guy that's at least sober any day of the week.

Welcome to all the new faces here. No better time than now to focus on staying sober in the new year ahead.

[KENSHO]

Gosh Resolve, I do hope that writing isn't boring to you, because I love reading your posts. Please keep them coming, as you have a gift with words. I'm quite certain you are not boring. I can relate to the feeling though, and wanting to get home. I think there are new, unexplored things to get us high in life... ever ponder skydiving, or hiking through the jungle, or taking up a new art form? I'm thinking about getting a tattoo. I know I sound crazy, but it is something interesting I enjoy planning, drawing and researching. I have wanted one for years and never had the "self" to really complete the task. Glad you are through the holidays unscathed.

[open halo]

Wishing everyone a very wonderful AF new Year! I am off to seclusion for a week with my immediate family, no internet sadly can't be checking into MWO but there will also be no AL around at all! I have never seen my spouse happier than since I have been AF for almost a month now, it is reaffirming for my quest of living an AF life. Resolve, I have never judged someone on being boring based on whether or not they had a drink in their hand! Some of the biggest bores I know were the ones constantly drinking! I'm sure I myself was a big bore when I was drinking, as I would constantly repeat myself all the time. You sound great and if you decide to take up skydiving, let me know as I have been a bunch of times! Never got a tattoo though, so let me know how that goes Kensho, I never thought I could take the pain! Happy AF New Year!

[Resolve]

Kensho - I hear you on chasing those new highs and I like your list! I don't have any ink either but have had the same thought of maybe a new reminder of this journey would be something to appreciate (and a choice I'm glad I never made drunk since who the hell knows what I'd be sporting now). I know you've said stress has been your foe so I'm glad you got through the holidays in a good way too. I also remember the childcare days well but now my two oldest are teens that can help out with our 9 year old when needed. I often recall people saying to enjoy them while they're young, even when it felt like time stood still, but it really does go quickly so keep enjoying.

And BG - I wanted to offer up that the wine tasting would be hard at best and too much too soon if wine was your choice of drink (and really even if not). I made the mistake of attending a scotch tasting party thrown by a good friend about 3 weeks into my initial quit in late summer. I've never been a scotch drinker but spouses were invited, and we're all good friends, so I went on shaky footing against my better judgment. Now I didn't drink but had a lousy uncomfortable time and claimed I was just getting over a stomach bug. So I ended up helping host by pouring countless shots and sitting in a room with 12 guys who were getting drunk while savoring each tasting and filling out scorecards no less. Awkward and not fun in the least, and I had every urge to start drinking scotch or anything with alcohol in it. If you think you'd have any temptation or have any uncertainty, then listen to others here and don't put yourself in that situation.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Suddenly getting very cold here but it was a nice day.

Kensho, I didn't mean to sound heartless about the babysitting situation. I really did go through all that stuff too when my kids were young & I was just trying to get to work. That's one of the reasons why I usually make myself available to watch my grandkids last minute when their regular sitter flakes out:eek-new:

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for all. Stay put, you'll all be safe!

Lav