Newbies Nest

[open halo]

Kensho, I second those thoughts. I too am enjoying being sober, am experiencing fleeting thoughts as well but am rejecting the pull. The first time in a long time I brought in the New Year AF. Must say having no AL around and being in the middle of nowhere for a week tremendously helped out. What also helps is having more energy and not having any hangovers, that is the absolute best gift I have given myself this holiday season!
I also would like to extend a warm welcome to all the new faces, give yourself a gift this 2015 and read through the site, and post when you can. There are many helpful and wonderful people here , I remember questioning on whether or not AL was truly a "problem" in my life. I received some very good advice from a senior member, "If you found your way here, there is probably a very good reason, be honest with yourself." Sometimes it's not easy but for a better life, very necessary.

[trinity875]

Day two done. I'm exhausted but happy. Ive drank so much tea and eaten a huge roast dinner that I did this afternoon to occupy my time. Had thoughts of drink but battled through. I'm proud of myself for the first time in a long long time. Hoping everyone is well. X

[daisy45]

well done Trinity....eating and feeling full is a great way to stave off the cravings, especially in the early days. It evens out after a while.
Out shopping today with my daughter to spend gift vouchers. would love another week before starting back to work....so many visitors I am actually hiding from some of them....feels like I can't get quiet time to do what I want.
My other 3 kids are in Disney with their dad...due back next week. Going to enjoy my last couple of days.....that is after I cook another family dinner tomorrow. My nephew complained he hadn't had a prawn cocktail, so I am having that as starter, then homemade chips, ribeye steak, garlic mushrooms, onions and pepper sauce......my last big feast of the holiday season.
Welcome to the new faces.....won't take long to fit in here!
Not much to report....avoided a couple of gatherings where I knew drink would be involved.....wasn't craving it, just to be safe.
I feel very much like you do Fin......a lot more relaxed than before. Al has been removed as an option. I am not, this time, saying to anyone 'I am giving up for a while...' or 'trying'.....that suggests going back or insincerity on my part....and there is actually nothing to give up or lose out on....
To some people I will say 'I am living sober from now on' but pick and choose whom I choose to hear it as I am surrounded by a few doubters and do not need to hear their negativity.
Onwards and upwards we go and loving the results....each day AF helps me believe in myself a little bit more...

[Byrdlady]

Ok, NoSugar helped me figure this out, lets see if I can post this link! 10 LoopHoles that sabbotage our thinking.

http://www.slideshare.net/gretchenrubin/10-loopholes-do-you-break-your-good-habits?utm_source=slideshow02&utm_medium=ssemail&utm_campaign=share_slideshow_loggedout

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Hello & welcome Marie, glad you decided to join us
You'll find lots of good company here!

Good link Byrdie!
Loopholes aka bullshit ~ same thing, right?
Getting out of the learned habit of negative thinking was something I tackled just before my quit. I knew I had to change my outlook if I was going to succeed & it worked

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!
Hope everyone has a good plan for a successful first weekend of 2015!

Lav

[Pinecone]

Wow, I loved the loopholes! That should be required reading. Great stuff.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Is everyone sleeping in today?
My older dog had me up at 4:15 this morning ~ swell

Waiting for the rain to start, it's going to be one of 'those' weekends. I think I'll use my time inside to do some de-cluttering!
Wishing everyone a good AF Saturday!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Hey, Lav, it is a COLD rain heading your way so look out! At least it isn't freezing rain here, as had been forecast. I'm taking down the Xmas decs since it is a depressing day anyway. I just love all the extra lights when the tree and wreaths are up but sort of like getting the clutter gone and the normal house back, too. Have a good one, Nesters!

[Byrdlady]

Quick fly in this morning! We are painting my bathroom. It all sounds SO easy until you get underway! Will check in properly later! Hope everyone has an easy day! Stay busy! Byrdie

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Afternoon everyone. Going through finances and honestly it's making me want to drink. I've been thinking about it all afternoon, and I keep pushing it aside. I know it won't make anything better, and I'll feel worse. Still, the thought and the urge is there.

[open halo]

Shoshanna, finances can be extremely stressful, and when we are under stress, we tend to look towards finding a way to escape, and for the majority of us here at the MWO, our escapism involved drinking. So it's no wonder that you are feeling those thoughts and urges. Finding ways to put them at bay is what we are learning to do, because AL is not going to make anything better.
During my first quit, I remember thinking well I'm not drinking now, and AL has been so destructive, and I've decided to quit, so life is going to become a utopia. I remember being frustrated that with all my effort in getting rid of AL from my life, there were still stresses to contend with, I now realize that is reality, that is Life.
I was finding it difficult to cope with those stresses and so I fell back to drinking, but guess what AL just contributed to those stresses getting worse and worse. This time around , I know that stressful times, situations are still going to be there even when I am AF, but I now know I MUST find ways to deal with them besides using AL, because drinking is NEVER going to make anything better EVER. I am finding other ways to "escape", going for a run, taking a long hot bath, visiting a friend, anything that is not going to undo me like AL has done for years and years.
Wishing you the best, stay here and post if you are feeling horrible. We understand and we can help. xoxoxo

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Thanks Open Halo for responding, we have a lot on our plate right now and trying to sort through things to ease pressure in certain areas and like I normally would I thought "Jesus, I need a drink". But it won't be just a drink. I'll drink it all. I'll still have the same issues in the morning, plus a raging hangover to go with it plus whatever other mess I cause while I'm at it. I'm glad I came on here because I've been pacing back and forth in my mind about it. Just need to push through this afternoon, once it hits 5 o'clock I wont leave the house. I won't pack the kids up that late to do that. For some reason that's the way my mind works.

[Altaman]

Sho, when you were going over your finances, did you factor in the amount of money that you used to spend on AL?
When you realize how much that was and how that money can now be put to better use, ie. paying down debt, savings, etc, it will make things better.
One piece of advice I had for my kids was to always pay yourself first. I know it sounds tough and maybe it hadn't been a priority but you'll be pleasantly surprised at how fast the money adds up. And how it makes you feel, seeing it grow.
Sho, I have a challenge for you. This is one I've just started myself. In 2015, pay yourself as follows: week 1 put $1 (or equivalent if you use a different currency) into a piggy bank. I'm using an old peanut butter jar. Week 2 put in $2, week 3, $3 and so on. By years end, you'll have saved $1,378. That's money you can use for what YOU want to spend it on. It's money not being stolen by AL!
I know the stress finances put on a person and I know I've used it as an excuse in the past to drink. But you've made the choice to get rid of the devil, so now you can benefit in yet one more way!

Altaman

[open halo]

Sho, even though you are struggling right now, there are many positives, some awesome parts of your post show you are going to succeed . You are very honest with yourself and while so many of us have tried to fool ourselves into thinking, "I'll just have one drink, to take the edge off." You KNOW for us it is never about A drink. And you also know how your mind works and are doing what it takes: fighting the fight to get to 5 o'clock. We are fighting with you!!

[Byrdlady]

Eloise and I would like to congratulate Open Halo for reaching 30 days of AFreedom! We'd like you to have this major award: Your hat!
:guy:
Great job on this huge accomplishment! Would you have a few words as to how you did it?! What worked, what didnt? This is a wonderful way to start your new year! We are so proud of you!!!

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