Newbies Nest

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

We have a piece of property we're trying to sell and the market it so bad right now, with keeping two houses going it can get can stressful at times. I wish it would just sell so we could alleviate some of this stress. I've been getting better on my coping, some days it just adds up and I feel like I can't deal with it. Today I have felt that and normally I would have caved and went and got a bottle or two for the night but I haven't this time. My resolve was to bring the new year in alcohol free, stone cold sober and I've done that. I didn't want to drag this dirty habit into a fresh year. I went to the hospital these past few days and saw my cousin who is dying from Breast Cancer that has spread through her whole body. It was heart wrenching, and her two kids there. She is in palliative care on heavy pain meds. She's to young, the kids are too young. It really put into perspective what matters, what's important.

[trinity875]

Shoshanna I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time and a massive well done on not caving! You've done a great thing as Al gets you when you're down and it's all the harder to push it away. Day three for me! Pleased with myself. I'm on a night shift in a bit so I know I can't drink tonight. My challenge mid driving past the shops tomorrow morning which I WILL do!! Because once I'm in bed for the day then that's day four done as I'm on nights again tomorrow. Hope everyone is ok xx

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Thanks Trinity, and good for you on Day 3! I always found Day 3-4 to be the hardest. Can you take another route home? Or, just do what I do and drive by them really fast... lol. You can do it! Maybe eat something on the way home or before you leave, if I'm full I don't feel like I want to drink as much as I did.

[BeachGirly]

Open Halo - Wow - congrats on day 30!!!
You rock.

Altaman - I am doing that same challenge. Will use it for Christmas money next year.

Sho - way to go being so honest with yourself and knowing your triggers. That is a huge thing. Great you came here to discuss it and get feedback from friends. Hang in there.

Byrdie - what color is the bathroom (and probably your hair today).

Hi Nesters, it is so nice to get the house back to normal and get back into a routine again. Hope everyone is having a great day.

BG

[open halo]

Trinity, before you know it your AF days are going to add up! Keep making a plan and when you are struggling you know the Nest is always here to help.

Sho, my heart is with you, I'm terribly sorry to hear about your cousin. Cancer is a terrible disease and when it strikes those so young , it is even more heartbreaking.

Thanks for the shoutout Byrdie , couldn't have done it without you! Am going to post some things that worked for me this time around a bit later..

[Matt M.]

Shoshanna I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time and a massive well done on not caving! You've done a great thing as Al gets you when you're down and it's all the harder to push it away. Day three for me! Pleased with myself. I'm on a night shift in a bit so I know I can't drink tonight. My challenge mid driving past the shops tomorrow morning which I WILL do!! Because once I'm in bed for the day then that's day four done as I'm on nights again tomorrow. Hope everyone is ok xx

Hey Trinity
Glad your here with us. Not sure if you have tried this before, I find it a great tool.
Next time you drive by that store. Play out the next 24 hours in your mind. From the time you pull into the parking lot until the next day, leave out no details. For me I Get nauseous after playing it out for 30 minutes. Anyway just another great tool I picked up in here. Keep doing what your doing and sharing your thoughts and struggles. It helps all of us.

[Byrdlady]

There is a new commercial for Weight Watcher's that really resonated with me. They say when you are on a diet, everything seems like one big Dorito, ice cream cone, or piece of cake! Its alot like that for us when we are trying so hard NOT to think about AL, but it seems to be everywhere. I wish there were commercials like this for us! Take a look! http://ispot.tv/a/7FtL

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Rain, rain & more rain but it's better than snow
This crazy weather is warming up to 60 degrees today then plunging down below freezing the next few days. My feathers are really going to look like hell, LOL

Sho, sorry to hear about all the stress going on right now. We have to learn how to deal with that stress without to turning to AL. The Tool box is full of good ideas. For me distraction works best. Reading, meditation, cooking, baking - anything that requires a bit of focus. Worry doesn't solve anything, it just robs us of our mind peace. I'm very sorry about your cousin & her family. I hope she finds peace & comfort.

Wishing everyone a good AF Sunday!

Lav

[Samstone]

One thing is for certain, AL loves stress. It allows the chance for AL to convince you to drink. Stress is enhanced and, perhaps, is the result of AL trying to undo your quit.

[Fin]

We have a piece of property we're trying to sell and the market it so bad right now, with keeping two houses going it can get can stressful at times. I wish it would just sell so we could alleviate some of this stress. I've been getting better on my coping, some days it just adds up and I feel like I can't deal with it. Today I have felt that and normally I would have caved and went and got a bottle or two for the night but I haven't this time. My resolve was to bring the new year in alcohol free, stone cold sober and I've done that. I didn't want to drag this dirty habit into a fresh year. I went to the hospital these past few days and saw my cousin who is dying from Breast Cancer that has spread through her whole body. It was heart wrenching, and her two kids there. She is in palliative care on heavy pain meds. She's to young, the kids are too young. It really put into perspective what matters, what's important.

Hang in there, Sho! AL will only make all of this rule your life. By keeping a steady hand on the AF helm you can weather any storm. My thoughts are with you...

-Fin

[daisy45]

Last day off before the kiddies come back....a very lazy morning in bed. Big fire lit and I have dug out a knitting project I need to finish...an Aran knit scarf.
I have a year membership at the gym which starts this week.....time to fit a bit of exercise back into my routine.
Getting back into routine will be nice, and then my girls and son are back from Florida on Wednesday. I find it hard to believe that I have reached 35 days AF......as much as there was temptation around over the holiday period, it was also a gift that I have been so busy since day 1.
Need to be on my guard now as normality sets in.....but very grateful to feel I am in control today.

[Byrdlady]

Morning, Nesters!
Bathroom painting project done! A little paint does wonders for a tired bathroom! Beachy, we painted it dark gray, it looks good!

Sho, last June, my best friend from childhood was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer and in 6 weeks she was gone. She left behind a 15 year old slightly autistic son and it was just heartbreaking. She was trying to teach him to drive there at the end and he had an accident, she went to the hospital and never left. Sitting there for those last days watching life leave her body, I doubled my gratitude that I have been given a second chance at this whole thing. While she was there fighting for HER life, I had been pissing mine away. I wish I had those years back, but I do have right now and today and for today, I will not drink. No matter what.
Hope everyone has a peaceful day! Byrdie

[open halo]

Byrdie, one of the most valuable lessons I 've learned from here is that we can't change the past but we CAN change the future and with living life AF , very much for the better! There are so many great tools here that can help us steer away from AL, I thought I would mention two that have helped me a lot in getting 30 AF days.

This is my second chance at trying to rid AL from my life, the first time I had 5 1/2 months in, then relapsed, kept drinking and slowly watched as my life spun out of control yet again. I finally had enough and decided this wouldn't be my second attempt but my final attempt. It has been easier this time around and these two points have helped me significantly.

1) "Our Quit": I'm not sure how many people on this site are married to non-drinkers, but I am one of them. Like many here, AL has caused significant problems in my marriage. ALOT of fights and arguments, and most of the time I was the one to blame because I was the one drinking and of course drunk. During my first quit, I would get very frustrated with my husband as I don't think he truly understood the disease and how hard it was to battle AL to the ground. This time around , I knew in order to be truly successful having the support of the MWO wasn't going to be enough, I needed better communication and understanding with my husband. We are working together now, it has not just become "my problem" to deal with, it has become "our quit". This has been essential in leaving AL behind me for good.

2) "Get a Goal": This has been instrumental, my advice find something/anything that you are passionate about or have ever wanted to achieve. Be Selfish, choose something for YOU. Set a goal for yourself and put all the energy you had towards drinking, finding ways to go out drinking, coming up with lies to extend your drinking, and making excuses to forgive your drinking. Take that energy and put it into something positive that you REALLY, REALLY want to accomplish! I have a fitness goal, and I find myself focusing on my chosen goal, because I really, really want to achieve it , rather than thinking about AL as often.

Wishing everyone a great, wonderful AF 2015!

[KENSHO]

Ahhhh, boy did I miss you guys last night. We visited some friends in the hills and ended up staying the night. There is no cell reception! We ate in town - and I was easily able to avoid a drink. But at their house, it got hard. I wished I could have logged in! I had to sit in the bathroom and breathe and think of all the reasons I couldn't/shouldn't have any. I was having a strong nostalgic moment, we always used to gather at their little cozy mountain home and drink wine with the snow falling outside, blah, blah, blah. Not sure why it hit me so hard. I said I wasn't drinking, and I told my husband that it felt particularly hard and he said, "You could have one or two once in awhile". I know this is not true, but it made it hard. I ultimately pulled out a printed old post in my wallet and pulled out the tools (AF drink in hands at all times, etc.). I dealt - I awoke happy and clear - but I do sincerely wish for some peace around this. I don't want to want it. Most days I am able to push back against the voice (and many days there isn't a voice) but this was too hard. I couldn't access my online supports, and my in-person supports weren't supportive! Time for more talks with husband - and maybe some more preparations for the "didn't plan for this" situations.

Hope everyone else is hanging in there. Sho, so glad you are avoiding the pull.

[Pinecone]

Hi friends,

Checking in on Sunday evening.

Openhalo, I am also very lucky to be married to a non drinker. I am also very lucky to STILL be married to the same non drinker. There was a lot of BS when I was drinking and definitely 95% of it was my fault. Now it is much more evenly distributed! We may have someone that tolerates us while we are drinking, but we are definitely not good partners, in the true sense.

Daisy, that sounds so relaxing, knitting and having a fire! I really wish I knew how to knit. Good for you for getting back to the gym. Exercise has been a huge part of my quit. It is an instant mood booster and sleep improver.

Shoshanna, sending you support! Hang in there.

Have a great AF night!