Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters,

Snowing in my portion of the nest - Brrrr!!

Welcome back Minstar & congrats on your new baby boy
What a wonderful time for you to kick AL out of your life. You need to be alert, with a clear head to give him the attention he deserves. You deserve to have good memories of his early life. Are you feeling depressed, could this be a post-partum depression? Please talk to your doc for some help :hug:

trinity, you're doing great! Take care of yourself, rest when you can.

Greetings Ava & everyone! Sending wishes for a terrific AF Tuesday for all!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Congrats on the new baby Minstar!!! I think that's the first baby born to a member since I've been here,I'm excited! You definitely need to be clear headed and sharp for your precious child,why did you start again? My daughter quit smoking and drinking during her pregnancy but picked up again right around 3 months after,I asked why,she didn't have an answer, I hope you stick around, as Lav said maybe it is ppd,maybe see the doc? I wish you all the best

[KENSHO]

Welcome Minstar! I drank to relieve the demands of being a new mother. In retrospect, it only made it worse - and I was a detached, grumpy mom! What I needed was some time for myself - and I should have asked for that. Great job coming here! It's hard when you have a new little one, but please take care of yourself too! You won't regret it - but you would regret losing time from your son to alcohol!

I'm feeling a little under the weather here. The reality that I have a lot of work to catch up on has set in - always like this the first few days back to work!

Take care all and stay close. Drinking keeps us stuck, unhappy and lost. Here's to finding the new path that leads out!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Welcome back, Minstar! I remember you well! Glad to see you here in the nest. We can help you reclaim your precious life. Congrats on the new baby!!

I had many returns to the nest in 2010, when I joined. I would get a running start....begin to feel good and reward myself with AL! What a sick cycle. I was feeling good BECAUSE I wasn't drinking. I thought I had proven to myself that I COULD control it. After all, I'd been X number of days, that proves it right there! All that it really proved is that I am an alcoholic. Normal drinkers don't reward AF time with AL. I proved over and over that I cannot control AL once I start. Then I hit that rocky bottom. I KNEW AL had to go.....This was not defeat, it was victory! It's a huge weight off my shoulders! I can relax about it because I don't stand a chance with AL and THAT's OK! I won't drink it! I tell you, this is one huge relief because I fought it tooth and nail. Once that internal battle is gone, your energy can be put into more productive things, like noticing a sunset or appreciating your spouses smile. Being mindful of the present was something I was really missing while under the ether of AL. I was missing out on NOW. Let it go....let AL go and you will be amazed at the result. It is liberating. Sometimes, you just gotta believe the person in front of you. Take that leap of faith....you will never regret it.
Hope everyone has a peaceful day! Byrdie

[TJAF]

Congrats on your 7 days! And JVO!! Around here, that scores you a prize! :butt: No cracks about it, those are the hardest and they are behind you! Great job!!! Byrdie

Byrdie is that a new moon? regardless it is joyfully obscene!

[mywayin]

Altaman, Lucky you! There are some fabulous waterfalls in the mountains there.
Take this list with you....

http://www.thekitchn.com/15-non-alcoholic-mocktails-170813

and don't forget the good old schweppes with lemon... it's delicious!

[TJAF]

Well said Miss Byrdie! Been there done that! Your point about non-alcoholics not rewarding themselves with Al when they don't drink is brilliant. We Alcoholics tend to miss the obvious when we are making excuses to drink. I'll take your thought one step further, it is also a joy to just be normal. In addition to enjoying a beautiful sunset or my spouses smile through sober eyes it's also such a blessed relief to just wake up in the morning without the immediate and god awful experience of a hangover and the single minded thought of "curing it" it with the hair of the dog. Then the time wasting, gut wrenching, rest of the day worrying about the how, when, where and how much I was going to drink until I passed out.

[Elvis]

Good job on 7 days Altaman. I don't even know what a liquor tree is, but that sounds dangerous! I'd have to stay far away from that. If you're at all worried about the mini-bar, when you get there, ask that the mini-bar be emptied or removed from the room. Or see if they can give you a room without a mini-bar. Resorts go out of the way to make guests happy, and it's not the most unusual request they ever heard. Or throw a blanket over it, or stack your empty suitcases in front of it or whatever.

[Overit-still]

Good morning everyone! Thanks for all of the warm "welcome home" acknowledgements. I feel wonderful today. I'm lucky because it does not take me days to start feeling good. I LOVE waking up sober, just love it and NEVER NEVER NEVER want to not feel wonderful again. Great posts and thoughts today. Busy, busy, busy here in my part of the nest. Have a GREAT day!

[NoSugar]

Morning all!
Recently had baby boy in Oct. Obv did not drink with him or for nursing but now he is 3m and on the bottle and appears I've done the same.

Welcome back, Minstar.

It seems almost universal that women quite easily stop drinking while they're pregnant or nursing because they know it could damage their baby. But how come that logic doesn't hold when the baby is no longer nursing or for that matter, for ourselves?

Your baby is still dependent on you for essentially everything and will be for a long time to come. None of us would hire a child care provider who we knew to be a drinker --- we simply wouldn't trust them. So why would we trust ourselves?

We don't drink while pregnant or nursing because of the teratogenic, carcinogenic, and all around toxic effects of alcohol. While the effects on a developing fetus or baby may be greater than on an adult, when we drink, we are bathing our continually dividing, 'baby' cells in that same toxic fluid. Worst of all, because alcohol crosses the blood brain barrier, we're flooding our brain with toxins each time we drink.

You were able to do it for your baby before you saw his precious face. I hope you can do it for him again, and for yourself, now that you are so fortunate as to have him.

I hope you stay close and get this done. NS

[MinStar]

Thank you everyone for such a wrm welcome back. I have tears in my eyes.

Byrdie- well said- I have not heard a non alco say they celebrating being so with Al.
No sugar- lavande- available and trinity - I remmber you all from before. Hope you're well.

I kicked Al for my daughter and can do the same for him. This time it's much earlier. With my first it took me 9m this time I'm already aware of the signs and triggers.

So why? I think someone mentioned stress of being a new mum and not doing anything for myself. Reaching for a glass allowed me to treat myself and feel like I'm doing something for myself. I'm now switching to a good book- any recommendations?

Ive already mentioned to docs, they've given me somEnumber to call and talk. It's a counselling thing. I've yet to call- why? Not yet had time with Chrimbo and NY. Daughter goes back to school tomorrow and we will be back to some routine so tomorrow lunchtime I will call. The worry I have is calling them when I need them the most is the witching hour- when I have two kids, dinner to make, one to feed bottle, one to feed her dinner, baths and bedtimes. I have help coming some days as I know a,lot of my trigger comes from HALT. I've got help to relieve tension and stress, I can have a semi clean house (also a stressor for me) and prepare some of dinner. So again not hungry.

Sorry gonna have to make this one a short one as lil man down and I should also try to wind down. Last night was first Al free in a long time and it took me ages to sleep.
Finally- NS-so right. I don't trust anyone sober to look after my baby so why a drunk person and why me?


I will try and come back tomorrow at the witching hour- I know to be successful I need to be mindful of my Triggers. I hope to give help to those here too- just bear with me as I'm super busy ��❤️

[daisy45]

MinStar, I believe, looking back when my kids were very young and I was newly divorced, that that is where my problems with drinking really began. It became my comforter at night and the type, strength and amounts gradually increased. Wish I could see then what I see now....
Got a lot of jobs done in and around my house this past few weeks and back to the gym. Problem....I am thinking about alcohol a lot over today. I know this is where I fall. Self-sabotage!
I haven't, but I am feeling weak in respect of alcohol. Strong in every other way....and yet I know that is because I am sober......exactly how Byrdie described how it was for her......
I have to pick my daughters up tomorrow morning....looking forward to seeing them and getting a little commotion back in this house....I may regret saying that!

[Guitarista]

Hiya Nester's near and not so far and a happy new year to y'all.

Keep up the great work Daisy. My only way out is through.

Take it easy out there and kick some arse in your own inimitable way. G :thumbsup:

[NoSugar]

..I am thinking about alcohol a lot over today.

So what are you thinking, Daisy?
Maybe you could make a list of the good things drinking has done for you and another of the bad things. Heck, I could write that second list for you based on what I've read in your posts! It would be a long list, I'm afraid. Drinking has taken so much, please don't let it take any more.
Anyway, thoughts are thoughts, not actions. I've thought of a lot of things that I certainly wouldn't actually DO!
Don't let those thoughts take hold - just acknowledge them and turn your attention elsewhere. If you can't get it off your mind, just go to bed!

Take care of yourself, Daisy. You're worth it :hug:. (And so are you, Mr. G. :heart.

[daisy45]

I 'know' the right direction and that alcohol gives me nothing back. I won't be drinking tonight, that is for sure.....I also know that when I wake in the morning I will think 'what were you thinking?'
But, even after getting through Christmas holidays and drink everywhere, I have a feeling that if a situation (excuse) had been presented to me tonight that it would be the closest call since day 1.
I am putting this out there now because I can feel the signs and need to address it.
Thanks G and NoSugar.....the only way is through! Need to put myself back in time to those desperate fearful days and how much I wanted just to get day 1.