Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

hi Over-it.
Yay! to day 4. I've read your posts the past days and you're sounding determined and ready to do what it takes. I'm very glad to be here in good company..

[lifechange]

It's only 9pm but I'm dog tired so I'll hit the hay with a good book.
Hope you all have a good day/evening and see you tomorrow..

[Byrdlady]

My internet has been down since early this morning. Will read back but so happy to see Patrice and Lifechange! So glad you're here! B

[available]

LC and Pat, grab onto each other and give each other strength and determination. I grabbed onto Pav like a life-raft and floated along with her. There was no way i was going to let her down this time. Maybe it was the right time to follow along with someone else as i had failed before but she has given me the strength to carry on and here we are over a year and happy with life. Pm each other, email each other, take what each other has to offer. You will be amazed that an email can change your whole thoughts and feelings. We dont want to let others down so lean on each other. It is great to see you both back.

Daisy your "home free"comment made me think. I will not ever be home free from being an alcoholic. I will always have to be on my guard but i have found a peace that i did not have in the early days and that is what you newbies need to get to and thats the hard part. Thats where the determination and the plan needs to be in place every time you go out or have visitors over or go on holidays or celebrate a birthday. For me now, these days are just another day but i always know to be on guard that someone does not pressure me, that someone does not put a drink in my hand that i dont know what it is. I am confident now in situations involving al but i always have my backup if i ever wonky.

Thank god it is Friday and its raining so a bit of cool weather for us. I have 3 squamous cell carcinomas that need to be cut out by a plastic surgeon so that is a worry as i have never had a minor op let alone a major one. Robert has said he will come and hold my hand. I told him he owes me big time, bless him. Even with is own worries he will be there for me. He is home now and i have invited myself over for dinner next week, his boyfriend can cook and i can spend some quality hours with him. I miss seeing him everyday but he does have a lot of drs appts so i catch up for coffee. Thats the way it should be for the moment.

Have to get ready for work but great to see lots on the nest. Take care

[MinStar]

Quick check in. And hello welcome back to Patrice and lifechange.

I'm back again after several years of being on MWO on and off.

Thanks for the book recommendations. I've read memoirs but no the the others.

Short one- off to read and bed
Stay safe nesters x

[enzo'smom]

OK, I am back again…forgot my more recent name/password and my old name, Jenniech, did not work for me so I am now enzo'smom. enzo is my new boxer puppy….12 weeks old!!! anyway, I am on day 10 and feeling OK….cravings are at their worst from 4pm to 6pm when thoughts of hitting the liquor store for a bottle of wine are fierce!!! But today I succeeded once again in bypassing that horrible place. I have missed MWO!! glad to be back

[enzo'smom]

10 days in: notes: got rid of all alcohol in house….and last night I poured all prescription meds down toilet and flushed….I never was a pill popper, but I had old prescriptions lying around from a foot surgery last year…why tempt myself? It was very liberating….doing those two things was the most liberating thing I have done in a long long time

[daisy45]

Well done on 10 days and welcome back 'Jenniech'! remember you well!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Wow, it seems like homecoming week around here
Welcome back Patrice & jenniech! Glad you are both ready to jump on board & take back control of you lives! Make good plans & strong commitments & stick around!!!

LC, you mentioned 'acceptance' earlier today & that is the ticket!!!! Accepting that we can no longer drink AL is the all important huge step we all must take. But once we do accept the truth (and eliminate all the BS) the journey becomes much smoother. You'll love the results

Greeting to all & sending wishes for a warm & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi, Everyone:

So very glad to see all three of you - I think of you all three and wonder about you. LC - You were one of the first who greeted me here in the nest - I will see if I can go back and dig up what you wrote - made me feel so welcome. Patrice. Elevator is nearing the bottom floor! Get of now - we'll help! Enzo'smom (Jennie) - I think of you because you were posting your success when I was lurking in fear. 10 days is an awesome start and means you started BEFORE NY eve and the parties. You've made it through one hurdle just by your start date! And MinStar. Good to see you, too. Overit - miss the paper bag, but glad to hear you sounding so strong.

I know it must take guts to come back here - the fear of that is helping to keep me sober. I am so glad you all are seeing this as a journey. I recommend the Bubble Hour with Dr. John Kelly. He's actually done a couple of shows, but the one on changing the stigma is a great motivation.

I am wiped out this week - back to lllooonnnggg days at work, little exercise, and a lot of jet lag. Thank goodness I don't drink - I can't imagine how terrible I'd feel.

Matt- Haven't heard much from you - hope all is well.

All you other nesters, stay strong. Hold on tight to each other, and to those who are leading the way.

xo
Pav

[KENSHO]

Where IS that man Matt? Hope you are well my friend. I tried to use the word "hard" in both of those sentences, but I couldn't make it sound appropriate - so I do hope you are feeling strong and doing well

What a week - yes PAV, back to the long days. I do love my work - and I get a thrill of doing it well when I do. But lordy am I tired! I did think of AL earlier tonight - partly because I was thirsty and hungry. It passed very quickly, and I actually thought of drinking as something I used to do - "I used to drink at times like this..." - and it felt like a trail I had passed on my way to a different destination. (Wild is still in my head Minstar!) I branched off, and the further I get from it, the more I appreciate the views ahead and forget the swamp behind me.

The other thing I wanted to say is that, though I know we are all different, I once calculated the times I struggled with really strong cravings. I don't mean the, gosh - I could drink now, I mean the white knuckle "I really hate this" times. It ended up being only a handful of times before it all got easier. I've lost count of how many days I've had sober in the last 6 months, but it's go to be near 175 days or so. I've had less than 10 really difficult cravings - lasting maybe 3 hours each. This translates into less than 1% of my time.

Anyhoo, I am artist, not a math person - but that is doable by anyone's calculations. Just make the decision to get through a few really tough spots and the rewards start coming.

Nighty night and Happy Friday!

[lifechange]

Good MAE Nesters,
I'm up early after a somewhat restless night which I expected.
I did manage to read and meditate for a few minutes before falling asleep. That's one of my plans to bring more balance into my life.

enzo(Jennie) I remember you, of course! and Minstar and Over-it-- and with Patrice and J-vo we're a group strong humans who have been in this position at least a few times before. I'm all for sticking together, holding onto the lifeline, making this the final quit.
I know, like Lav said, acceptance is the key and it's my number one priority.
Right now it's difficult to be here because I feel like a phony. I feel like I've said everything a thousand times before and though I believe it in this moment I'm still not quite sure I'll handle things when I don't. I guess that's the reason I didn't come here last time I "quit"-- I thought I should just shut the f*** up and DO it. But after 5 weeks I felt quite alone. So again, I struggle with balance.

Pav, I remember very well when you started here and I remember being in a very good place. That's what I'm striving for now-- and I think that state of mind combined with what I've learned through all of my mistakes will allow me to be where I want to be. Getting to that state of mind is the hard part.
Like Ava mentioned, knowing that this is something that will always have to be dealt with but having a peace in that knowledge. Not the fear that I still have. Really being ok with it.

Kensho, 1% sounds about right, actually. My past has shown that I make through about 1 of those-- if it goes on the next day I cave. My plan has to be strong for those times. I have to commit 100% to using everything I "know" to make it through the tough times. I have to prove to myself that I CAN do it.

ok off to get ready for work.
hi Daisy!

[enzo'smom]

lifechange - i went back and read your "reentry" post I couldn't have said that better myself the last time I quit but failed…..Here's the thing: life will keep happening whether you drink or not. that is what i keep telling myself. I just have to accept it and move on without the bottle. when i get comfortable again and think I can have a drink again I think it through…..perhaps a week or so I can drink moderately but eventually, as experience shows, i get right back into it but only worse the next time. It is a slow, sneaky progression that will rob you of everything you really and truly care about. And sneaky is an understatement…..I am glad you are back and I look forward to sharing more experiences…..
My biggest revelation today is that my arthritis is practically a nonissue after only 11 days sober. My rings fit on my fingers better…. so I have realized how BLOATED i must have been (and probably still am but getting better everyday) all that inflammation caused pain in my joints and FAT FINGERS…..omg…..who in the world wants FAT FINGERS???????????
SO, for today, I am grateful for
1. my fat fingers are not so fat anymore
2. my everyday pain is subsiding
3. finding my way back to MWO
Have a great day everyone!!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & Happy Friday to all!

Still cold but not quite as bad as yesterday. I'm not a big fan of weather extremes!

Glad the nest is full ~ it's warmer that way!
Stay close everyone & get your weekend plans together so you can keep moving forward
Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Friday!

Lav

[open halo]

Welcome back Lifechange, Patrice and Jenniech! I came back to the MWO about a month and a half ago , and it was the best decision! You all sound determined and strong and wise. We've been here before, and left. Why are we back ? Because we know, absolutely know, that an AF life is indeed a better one! And with help we can achieve it! Wishing you the best, you know the drill read, read and post, post. The help from so many here is inspiring to say the least. Here's to no more Fat fingers and everything else that is so crappy brought on by drinking.