Newbies Nest

[lifechange]

Thank you, NS!!!
I just found the Online Media Toolbox.. Awesome!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Fat Fella, you must have made good on your New Year's Resolution if today is Day 12! We are so glad to see you back. Strap in and this will be the last D12 you ever have to endure! Good things are right around the corner for you!

Rainy and cold here, too, someone needs to talk to the management about the soggy conditions in the Southern part of the nest. Hope everyone has an easy day!

Byrdie

[Elvis]

When I was a teeenager, an adult once told me that some people think asking for help will make them appear weak to others, but those people don't know otherwise. Someone who asks for help is actually much stronger, wiser, and much more likely to succeeed than one who doesn't. Asking for help isn't a weakness, it's a strength and shows others that you are intelligent enough to realize that you are in over your head. At the time, I thought she was talking about if I ever needed help with my homework or something like that, but as I grew older I realized that it applies to everything in life. Throughout my schooling and career I never hesitated to ask for help if I needed it. It took me a little longer to realize this with alcohol, but I eventually did ask for help as well. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you ever need it. There is no shame in it. If you are struggling with anything, don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help.

[KENSHO]

Great point enzo'smom... its definitely good not to live AF in a state of deprivation. The good news is that I didn't have ANY desire to indulge in alcohol as that treat... I thought of something else and it was so cool to realize that I'd found a substitute for AL when I had that feeling of "just wanting an indulgence or reward or treat." It came naturally. It wasn't like "Bummer, I can't have alcohol - what can I have?" It was more like "I would love a coffee drink. OH, and I can afford one and deserve one and it won't kill me!"

Daisy, sounds like you made it through a tough night! Congrats for that - strength comes with those episodes! Each time we do it, our bodies and minds remember and the next time is easier!

I used food as a tool to combat cravings in the early days of being AF - carbs, sugar and junk. It did help with the alcohol, and for that I am thankful. But after the holidays especially, I am feeling sluggish! I'm ready for fewer grains, little to no sugar and good quality protein, good fat and LOTS of veggies. This always is a hard thing for a day or two, but then I know I will feel so much better! I have been working out more too. Gosh, I used to get up at 4:45 am to get to the gym. I refuse to do that now, but it really miss being strong and fit!

Hang in there everyone! Get through a few tough times and you'll be surprised at how this all becomes easier!

[NoSugar]

I was a pretty manic exerciser in my drinking days, Kensho. I think I was trying to convince myself I was fine, fit, strong -- in such good health that the drinking really wasn't a problem. Surely alcohol couldn't really be hurting me given that I was able to run X miles and lift Y kilograms... usually 6 days a week. Now exercising is its own reward - not desperate compensation. And I'm much more balanced about it. I prefer to do something most days because it just makes me feel better but I'm not stressed out about it if I don't. Alcohol threw every part of my life out of balance -- I was constantly making adjustments in everything else to enable the drinking. What a stressful way to live that is.

[KENSHO]

Why IS that? I have wondered why I was more motivated and able to exercise more while I was still drinking. Yes, maybe compensating. I have weakness in muscles now that I've NEVER had in my life... it feels strange! I love the idea of getting fitness back in a non-stressful and more nurturing way. Thanks NS.

[Byrdlady]

Alcohol threw every part of my life out of balance -- I was constantly making adjustments in everything else to enable the drinking. What a stressful way to live that is.

Boy, this just about sums it up for me, too. Everything I did revolved around the ONE thing...my next drink. Exhausting. B

[TJAF]

I certainly got into an exercise fit when I was drinking (when I wasn't too hung over to work out that is) I think it was grasping at straws, anything to allow me to continue to live the lie that I could drink and somehow counteract the negative impacts drinking took on my body. I was also big on supplements for much the same reason. Byrdie and NS I like your comments on how much of the daily grind of life revolved around drinking. I said much the same in an earlier post. It really was exhausting, particularly if you were trying to hide it like I was. Well good riddance!

[NoSugar]

You know, TJAF, sometimes it occurs to me I should be accomplishing amazing things now that I've freed up so much time and energy by giving up AL, but that's not really happening. I think I'm just living a regular (hopefully more balanced) life -- I'd kind of lost track of what that even was. The being sneaky was probably the worst of it -- living in fear of "getting caught" -- and also living in a way in complete opposition to my values. Just the energy wasted in "disposing of the evidence" was bad enough - putting aside the hours of acquisition and consumption. Looking back, it just seems like madness. And in many ways, it was.

[lifechange]

Thank you all for the great posts.. I can relate to all of them!
I'm getting ready to put the kids to bed-- I have one completely exhausted daughter and to be honest, I'm feeling the same.. Thinking I'll fall asleep, too.
Today has been a test for me in gratitude.. for no reason in particular. I didn't feel like drinking but I had the feeling, pretty much the whole day, of, "is this all there is? This is going to be a looooong life". Which is a good thing, right?
Looking forward to waking up tomorrow refreshed and Hangover.FREE..
see you all tomorrow.:hug:

[NoSugar]

Sometimes life doesn't seem to be overflowing with meaning, LC, but a dull day in an AF life has more than I ever found at the bottom of a bottle. Now that isthe real existential abyss!! Sleep well :smile:

[TJAF]

" Today has been a test for me in gratitude.. for no reason in particular. I didn't feel like drinking but I had the feeling, pretty much the whole day, of, "is this all there is? This is going to be a looooong life". Which is a good thing, right?

LC I've had that thought too...and then wow it hit me. I was allowing myself to think that somehow alcohol (or more correctly the alcohol high ) provided some substance in my life when all it did was deaden my perceptions of life. For me a sober life is a richer, more colorful path to achieving a full life...so yes this is a good thing. You spoke of putting your kids down to bed...isn't that simple experience far richer sober? To notice and remember their smiles if they are happy, their crankiness if they aren't... its just plain priceless and sure enough trumps the dead feeling of experiencing life drunk. I've heard people speak of a drunken state as if it was achieving Nirvana....well Nirvana is the ultimate escape from misery, isn't that was being sober is all about?

[trinity875]

I've realised I've had more enjoyment in these last twelve days than I've had in a long time. My drinking got to the point were I stopped experiencing any kind of high from the Al. I'd just spend my drinking time worrying about how much wine I had left in, do I need more? If my partner had any of my wine I'd feel really angry as to me it was mine and I needed it. Then I'd end up running off to the shop to get more not even realising I was already well drunk because I was so focused on getting more. Then I'd just drink until I either passed out or ran out and become angry. Then the next day the hangover, I was in a constant state of misery. Since the quit I've even enjoyed work! Which I realise now I always hated because I was hungover. I would never go anywhere in the mornings on my days off. Today I was up and into town and at the markets before midday. For me at the moment the simple things are giving me so much enjoyment. 12 days and counting!

[KENSHO]

Trinity, I love reading this! It is my wish that everyone addicted to alcohol give a break a try - you don't know what you are missing until you give it up! Happy for you!

[open halo]

Great post Elvis, about asking for help being a sign of strength not weakness, I am a firm believer of this...as well as admitting your flaws as being a sign of strength as well. The nest has been very lively lately, with this cold freeze, a nice cup of cocoa and a warm fire, and reading the MWO is a very comforting place to be! Wishing everyone well!