Newbies Nest

[daisy45]

Kensho and NoSugar, I relate totally to the exercise thing while drinking. I used alcohol to reward myself according to how much I exercised. No exercise, no alcohol.....I exercised a lot! Even cycled 110 miles on a maracycle after indulging the night before......absolute madness! I was taking chances on my life really......
The problem here was not the exercise solely but like you say, compensating and kidding ourselves that if we are this fit, how could there be a problem.....denial! Hiding behind how fit we considered ourselves....
I have always exercised though and it is important to me for not only my physical, but mental health and since beginning childminding in September I have done next to none! I need to fit it into my evenings where I always was a morning/noon exerciser.
So that is the next part of my plan....I went for a lovely cool walk alone last night and really enjoyed it. Tonight after the kids went home, we went to the gym. And from there I will be starting swimming again. This will help get my sleep pattern regulated.....and I very much need to 'build-a-bum'! Mine disappeared!
I would love to walk down the street and know someone thought I had a great ass......don't think that's gonna happen but I can but try! Wonder is there a special class dedicated to just that.......and maybe some boobs just for the craic!!!
Gonna watch some silly tv for a while......in a funny mood.....in a good way!

[enzo'smom]

these posts are awesome and are all speaking directly to me!!! thanks to all….I too was/am an exercise fiend. I would come home from work, drink, pass out, drag myself out of bed after tossing and turning for hours after the pass out phase of the night wore off (usually 3am). I would exercise for an hour…..my face turned bright red and I used to sweat more than anyone….but then I would feel almost normal but not quite so that by 3pm I couldn't wait to drink again so I would feel better. Geesh….talk about waste of time, waste of money…..not getting anywhere with my workouts…just doing it to get as much toxins out of my body as possible….going to a different liquor store each night so no one would think I was drinking every night…..pouring the wine in a dark blue glass so no one at home would see the color of the liquid I was drinking (what a fool i was)….
the list goes on and on and on and on
today I am coming down with a cold. My chest hurts and my head hurts….then I think how I would feel if I was hungover on top of that!!! I functioned all day and now I am going to curl up in bed early and get a good night's restful, long SLEEP.
I feel like I haven't slept since my last sober stint two years ago.
can you tell I am relieved? LOL
Kensho: so glad to hear that your attitude is in the right place!! I am rearranging my attitude and learning how to think a different way….
although functioning, my life was completely unmanageable a month ago but is now becoming more and more manageable and I am so happy for it!!! I helped my son with his homework tonight and spent time playing with my adorable puppy Enzo….I am so grateful to have this back….I am going to hold on to it for dear life.

[KENSHO]

Enzo, print that post and refer to it often! You can have that feeling repeatedly! Sorry you're feeling a crummy cold though...

Gosh, the tricks we played - I put wine in a dark glass too to hide it - mine was green. People who drink normally don't know the color of the glass they hid their booze in....

Once I tasted what life is like without alcohol - when it was good and OUT of my system (maybe 14 days??) I too wondered (and I wonder today) why I did not do it sooner. It's a relief and a gift to experience life in its full, glorious, torturous, emotional, REAL and wonderful state. I don't believe we were given life to numb it - I believe we are given an opportunity to feel it all.

Nighty night Nesters - I'm folding laundry and maybe doing some work - I HAVE to get this billing out!!! (But not too late... there's always tomorrow).

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

LC - I can relate, and had feelings like that, especially when my kids were younger. I love the idea of living in the moment - quitting drinking eventually allowed me to stop and live in the moment, enjoying moments that I previously was waiting to finish so I could drink.

Love your post, Elvis.

I believe in exercise as one of the most important aspects to my sobriety, but I do enjoy it so much more now when I get that "high" from it, rather than suffer through it.

Enzo'smom - this getting sober is a roller coaster of experiences and emotions. Those GREAT times are great - remember them when the struggles come.

Gotta run - dinner with a friend.

Pav

[Altaman]

Good evening fellow nesters!

Great posts recently with a lot of things said hitting close to home. I never thought of the coloured glass but I used to buy wine in 4 litre boxes instead of bottles so no one would see how quickly the empties accumulated.

Many mornings, my first thought of the day was how much wine do I have left? Do I have to buy another 4 litres today?

Today is Day 14 AF and the second day of holidays. In spite of AL being in close proximity, I haven't been tempted. Tonight we dined at a wonderful steakhouse. In my former life, a few glasses, or more, of Merlot would have accompanied the meal. Tonight I had a glass of tonic water and a twist of lime.

Good night everyone, hope you have a wonderful night in the nest and a great AF day tomorrow!

Altaman

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Great to see busy & happy nesters on a Monday - something's working right

I just did 5 hours on little boy watch so I'm tired!!! At age 6 & almost 4 my grandsons are a workout! I didn't know I was going to be watching them, I would have skipped going to the gym this morning!
I can't tell you how grateful I am to be free & clear of any/all addictions so that I can be ready on a moment's notice to handle this crowd & enjoy every single moment!

This IS freedom

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Cherokeer]

Alta, I could have written your post. Who drinks a box of wine in 2 days...... Me did. Hang tight and congratulations on 14 days that is awesome. :yay:

Lava, I'm expecting my first grandbaby in two weeks. I can't wait for her to get here. I can't believe I am going to be a grandma. She is one of the reasons I stopped drinking. I just couldn't be a drunk grandma.

[enzo'smom]

Pavati: thank you so much for the reminder…..yes, despite coming down with a cold, i was in a really happy mood last night….today is day 16 for me and I choose not to drink to day because I want that truly happy, chemical free feeling again…..but I also need to remember that this IS a roller coaster and sooner of later (let's be honest….several times a day) that AL part of me starts nagging and trying to convince me I am not an alcoholic….so I need to keep this all real….
I have been going to AA meetings so I have been saying the "serenity prayer" daily. This morning, before I got out of bed, I said it again and suddenly understood it differently than before.
It goes like this:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the willingness to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I had a Eureka moment this morning…..I always said that prayer with the belief that the "things I can not change" were stuff happening TO me in my life….like my dad, the stresses of the job, the stresses of raising 2 teenaged boys, the "downs" of a 20 year marriage, financial woes, etc…..and then I would think about external stuff that I COULD change to make the other stuff better. OMG….did I get that prayer all wrong!!!!
I realize now that what it really means is that I need to accept the fact that I have a disease and nothing I will do can change that fact…..what I can change is how I THINK about that disease and what I am going to do about it…..and I am not even a religious person!!
I am feeling flooded with a sense of relief….I hope I never forget this….

[daisy45]

morning all! Up bright and early today. Had to pick up 2 girls as there mum is in labour.....she was due yesterday and is having contractions every 3 mins.....hopefully she will go today.....this young mum amazes me.....she is doing a college course and sat an exam yesterday morning.
It is so nice and fresh looking outside......has been threatening snow for a few days but nothing yet....nothing like snow and a warm fire inside.
Enzo, happy for your Eureka moment. There is always something to learn......and passing it on helps others.
Only 4 kids today so fairly relaxed. Gonna take it easy, do a bit of knitting. I want to start another painting.....look for ideas and get going.
My friend wants me to paint a country scene with a thatched cottage.....haven't found one I like yet. I paint from photos.
Have a great day everyone.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

I see the sun this morning, nice

Chero, congrats on your almost grandma status!!!!
The arrival of my first grandchild is what finally made me kick the addictions to the curb as well. I am so grateful because I have been able to be closely involved & not missing a moment with them. You will love being a happy, healthy, sober grandma :hug:

Enzo, glad to hear you are seeing the light!
We all have the choice to wake up each & every day & pledge to remain AF, no matter what!

Daisy, how do you manage to get anything done while watching the little ones? Keeping the kids safe & preventing them from destroying my house is the most I can manage these days, LOL
Enjoy your day!

Wishing everyone a good AF Tuesday!

Lav

[MinStar]

Afternoon nesters,
Quick read to catch up- this thread moves so fast!
Off to feed baby2 and pick up baby 1 from preschool.


Stay safe nesters.

[daisy45]

Some days Lav there isn't a minute....I think after a house full of 6 kids (yesterday), only having 4 feels easier. I don't really stress over the children....they love painting, drawing and watching me do it.......the 7 yr old is asking her mum for needles and wool so I can teach her to knit.
But, I have to say, as the week closes I am counting down the hours for a weekend free. Although I have been informed I am minding the 8 week old baby overnight on Saturday.
The family situation is about my niece. She has lost 3 stone since June and the school rang on Friday to say she broke down and needs help. I had to step in......and with a large family and so many opinions it is tough to get what is best for her. She is only 16.
Went for an emergency appt at docs last week and a follow-up this Friday. A sensitive issue....she started dieting and feels she is now out of control and cannot get back to normal eating. It does not help when so many are pressurising her....she lives with my mum and my dads death could also be part of the issue. I feel like I am in the middle.....but I have to help her.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, fellow Nesters!
Hubs and I have been binge watching The Blacklist. What an amazing series. The ruthlessness of the crime world is just mind boggling. It all seems to be for 'power and money'....the only other thing that seems to trump those two things is 'love'. That set me to thinking of the powerful forces in our lives. LOVE is certainly one of them, but the lure of AL (Alcoholism) is quite another. I would LIKE to think that LOVE is the more powerful, unfortunately, I have witnessed first hand that it is NOT. The power of addiction may, indeed, be more consuming. Never underestimate the depths of deception of this beast. It will most certainly try to lure you backwards....DO NOT FALL PREY TO THIS TRICK! Turn your back on the enemy AL and press forward. I can promise you this with my last ounce of conviction, AL will win. Don't test the waters, it's a trap!
I have been called a zealot and hardcore Abber. I like that. Why? Because THAT is what it takes to win over addiction. Let there be no wiggle room, because before you know it, you are sharing headspace with the bastard again! How could you NOT be a hardcore abber if you are truly abstaining? (that don't even make sense, Spanky) Being sober is like being pregnant....you are or you aren't! Dig your heels in and do not give in for anybody or anything! No matter what! You will be so glad you did. Every single day we get distance from AL makes our sight so much clearer. If you are lurking, please join us and give us 30 days AF. You will be amazed at the transformation!
Hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Right Byrdie! I joined MWO with the intent to consume less alcohol. But I found that the energy it took to fight with myself every day wasn't worth it! It is so much easier to just be done with it. I don't miss it like I thought I would. I did in the beginning, but now I have so much less inner war! It's such a relief.

Happy day everyone. It's a bright new shiny one to do with what we want! Although we have hardly seen the sun in a month.

[Samstone]

Good Morning, fellow Nesters!
Hubs and I have been binge watching The Blacklist. What an amazing series. The ruthlessness of the crime world is just mind boggling. It all seems to be for 'power and money'....the only other thing that seems to trump those two things is 'love'. That set me to thinking of the powerful forces in our lives. LOVE is certainly one of them, but the lure of AL (Alcoholism) is quite another. I would LIKE to think that LOVE is the more powerful, unfortunately, I have witnessed first hand that it is NOT. The power of addiction may, indeed, be more consuming. Never underestimate the depths of deception of this beast. It will most certainly try to lure you backwards....DO NOT FALL PREY TO THIS TRICK! Turn your back on the enemy AL and press forward. I can promise you this with my last ounce of conviction, AL will win. Don't test the waters, it's a trap!
I have been called a zealot and hardcore Abber. I like that. Why? Because THAT is what it takes to win over addiction. Let there be no wiggle room, because before you know it, you are sharing headspace with the bastard again! How could you NOT be a hardcore abber if you are truly abstaining? (that don't even make sense, Spanky) Being sober is like being pregnant....you are or you aren't! Dig your heels in and do not give in for anybody or anything! No matter what! You will be so glad you did. Every single day we get distance from AL makes our sight so much clearer. If you are lurking, please join us and give us 30 days AF. You will be amazed at the transformation!
Hope everyone has an easy day. Byrdie

I was wondering what this morning queeziness was all about!! Good post Byrdie. I, too came here hoping to drink less, but knew in my heart of hearts I had to stop. I still maintain that we each know in our gut what our options are. The only thing we fool is ourselves and play into AL's hands. Being a veteran of quits, I had quit for 3 years a previous stint, drank some beer with a friend and it turned to 5 years of hell. I am NOT going through that again. I am my own zealot and have to look out for #uno. Other people can do whatever the heck they want, long as they let me be who I am.
Sobriety is something to be enjoyed, like being pregnant!!