Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Thnk you all so much for all the kind words. MWO is a wonderful place and the NN in particular is near and dear to my heart. I am no different than the next person and if I can do this, you can, too. Have a wonderful evening! B

[Lavande]

AMEN TO THAT BYRDIE!!!!!!

Good evening nesters,

Is everyone tired out from Ms Byrdie's party today? LOL
Celebrating these milestones is important for all of us. It's a good way to show people that absolutely everyone can do it too. It just takes a firm commitment & a good solid plan. There's plenty of love & support in this nest & elsewhere on MWO for all :heartbeat:

Keep moving forward Byrdie, there's no turning back now
Wishing everyone a safe 7 cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[open halo]

So inspiring to read your post Byrdie, thank you so much for all you do. Congrats on your 4 years and so many more to come.You never give up on us either, Lav has taught you well. For all you do here, thanks from the bottom of our hearts. :heartbeat::heartbeat:

[MeinSonnenschein]

:heartbeat: Good morning from Germany!

Byrdie, thank you so much for your "speech". That's just what I needed this morning as I get up and begin my day.

It's a cold and snowy morning here as I begin to contemplate what I need to pack for an upcoming vacation. My husband and I will be leaving for the USA on Saturday morning for a two week vacation in Colorado visiting with friends and skiing. I'm actually not worried about this trip as my husband is not a drinker and when we are focused on sport (like skiing) we tend to stay away from AL. Our friends that we will be meeting with are also not big drinkers, plus, they have 9 month old twin babies so that takes up most of their time! It's sad to say that I'm glad to get away from my house for a few weeks as I have horrible AL memories here (especially in my closet where I used to hide all of the empty bottles... shame).

Today I plan to really focus on my German homework (yep, still taking German lessons). My teacher insists that I'm ready to take my German Test with the town hall so I have my language certificate on file. But... as always, I'm worried about being "not perfect" so I've been putting it off. It's sad that I've lived in Germany for four years and I'm still not fluent in the German language. I know that AL has played a HUGE hand in this fact. If I had spent more time loving myself and wanting to learn rather than sitting with a bottle and "wine-ing" why me, I'm sure I would be speaking perfect German by now. Oh well. That's in the past.

Much love and strength to you all today! :heartbeat:

[Pavati]

Love the speech, Byrdie. Hope you put it in the tool box.

Four more years, four more years (and so on, and so on).

I have never been happier and more well-adjusted until I stopped fighting with AL. It's a battle I lost every time and I proved that (X 1000).

Loved all of it, but ain't that the truth. Acceptance turns a battle into a peace rally.

Too much work makes Pavati a dull girl. Off to bed.

xo
Pav

And welcome back, Mein, and thanks for checking in, Matt (I'll be sure my pets are indoors).

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & Happy Hump day!

Waiting for a snow storm to start here as well MS. We haven't had very much this winter so I guess it's time.
I need to get out & do a few things before it starts so I won't linger here.

Wishing everyone a good AF Wednesday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Thanks again, everyone....hoping for NO term limits on my sobriety!!

Mein, so good to see you back and with a solid resolve to get the job done. I have memories also of my closet drinking...literally...I hid it in the closet! That will fade over time, but is a reminder where I don't want to be again....in there taking desperate gulps! All of this will heal over time. Meanwhile, enjoy your vacation...are the twins coming on this trip???? (and if so, good luck!)

It looks like we have another big milestoner today!!! Marylou will be checking in with a YEAR today!!! WOOOOHOOOO!!!! January is a big month around here!!! Looks like we missed our resolution deadline by a bit, but we finally did it!!! Congratulations on ONE YEAR!!!!!!!!!! :congrats::celebrate:

Hope everyone has a wonderful, AF day!!! Byrdie

[moni]

Wonderful speech Byrdie!!

I'm feeling pretty low this week. I have something (someone) on my mind and not sure where to turn for advice. Basically I work full time and study part-time. And I made this 'friend' through study. He was constantly initiating contact with me for weeks and while I was flattered with the attention I wasn't sure of his intention. So I proceeded with great caution. Then his messages started including x's etc and calling me by a pet name. He also became quite tactile when we'd meet for college- hugs. Eventually I started reciprocating a bit in the messages. Adding the odd x etc. If anything he began adding more.

So - nothing has actually happened here. He seems to have completely attached himself to me in college, sits next to me, engages with me and none of the guys. It's as if he wants people to think we're together but we're not. I have thought that perhaps we are just friends but why then all the kiss messages etc. none of my other male friends do this (unless they're flirting with me). I have though Gay due to the x's etc but then other things don't completely add up. It's just annoying me a lot lately as I should be concentrating on study and not him. Lately he's withdrawn his messages a bit (which upset me) but when we met last week he still sat next to me and again was quite tactile.

[Byrdlady]

Wonderful speech Byrdie!!

I'm feeling pretty low this week. I have something (someone) on my mind and not sure where to turn for advice. Basically I work full time and study part-time. And I made this 'friend' through study. He was constantly initiating contact with me for weeks and while I was flattered with the attention I wasn't sure of his intention. So I proceeded with great caution. Then his messages started including x's etc and calling me by a pet name. He also became quite tactile when we'd meet for college- hugs. Eventually I started reciprocating a bit in the messages. Adding the odd x etc. If anything he began adding more.

So - nothing has actually happened here. He seems to have completely attached himself to me in college, sits next to me, engages with me and none of the guys. It's as if he wants people to think we're together but we're not. I have thought that perhaps we are just friends but why then all the kiss messages etc. none of my other male friends do this (unless they're flirting with me). I have though Gay due to the x's etc but then other things don't completely add up. It's just annoying me a lot lately as I should be concentrating on study and not him. Lately he's withdrawn his messages a bit (which upset me) but when we met last week he still sat next to me and again was quite tactile.

Moni,
Do you really LIKE the guy? Do you want to pursue a relationship?

[moni]

Hi Byrdlady
I do like him but prob haven't shown that too well when we meet up and more recently I just got annoyed not knowing if he's playing games etc. I mean we're both adults. I just felt that last time we met we were both ignoring this massive elephant in the middle of the room. I get shy and I'm very unsure of myself in general so there's no way I'll take the lead. I also worry that I've read too much into somebody just being friendly.

[KENSHO]

Marylou - AWESOME job at One Year!!! That's amazing. Please tell us how that feels and what has changed for you! Congrats!!

Hi Moni... I'm so bad at love advice, but I might venture to guess that signing XOXO seems like more than friends Can you ask him so that you know? And maybe know what you want first, like Byrdie asked?

I am absolutely swimming today with work and events and a lot of fun things. My son is in a play this Saturday, and I am planning a couple events at our house. Life seems full and fun - I truly don't know how I had time to drink. I "got though" each day so that I could drink at night - then I drank and slipped into a grumpy, tired state for the night. Everything else was sort of "in the way" of drinking. How sad - and what a waste! Now, without the constant mind-fight or numbing, that "everything else" is what I appreciate! It was hard to get to this point, but once it clicked for me that drinking is not an option if I want the life I want - it all fell into place and now I am enjoying the life I was meant to have!

If you are here because you want to change your habits and life - all I can say is that you have to put in some solid time. Have faith that people on the other side are telling you the truth. When you first stop, you can't imagine what life will be like without alcohol - and it is scary. But if you can take it a day at a time, DEAL with things as they come up (without alcohol), and get past the unknown, a real, happy, full life exists on the other side.

[Overit-still]

Good morning nesters. Hi Byrdie, congrats! Hi Mein, glad to see you back.

I've had thoughts all morning of "if I stop taking my pill today (antabuse), how many days until I can drink?" Isn't that silly? So, I hurry up and take it so there is one more day on the calendar. I honestly don't think about it at night after I get home, it doesn't even cross my mind. Crazy huh? Good thing I have the little white angel until my mind catches up to me.

Today is day 16. Since my original quit in 2013 that lasted about 7 months, this is the longest I've gotten. Previous to this I would "award" myself with a drink at 2 weeks. (and then of course keep binging for months and try it again.)

Have a great day everyone.

[Pinecone]

Hi Friends,

MeinSonnenschein, great to see you here again! Welcome home.

Kensho, I loved your post. Life IS full and fun for me too. All I had to do was take out that one thing! Why did I resist quitting for years? The contrast between my life AF and drinking is my sign from the universe that I am not ever supposed to drink again, not one tiny little sip! What a relief to type those words! Pushing out into AF life is going out into the unknown for us. I think of how Christopher Columbus must have felt standing on the dock, knowing that he was about to sail out across the sea. This journey has anxiety too, but we know that people like our dear Byrdie have gone ahead and are not only ok, they are truly thriving!! I'm drifting a bit because I'm tired, but I did like your post!

Overit, Pull those mind weeds out and give them no further place to grow. Tell the voice "I don't drink" or "No, Hell No!" It works if you say it out loud. We all get those drinking thoughts occasionally. It is just a product of repeating a behavior for years. Sending you support!

[Resolve]

Hi All - great to see the celebrations of success around here this week!

Byrd, sometimes it's easy to forget or overlook that you too have had your own journey in this considering all the support, wisdom and mini-manifestos that you tirelessly share day after day. So thank you again for your relentless giving and the great example and person you are, as well as a rare opportunity to say congratulations to you. I mentioned to you once that you scared me but in a good way (and you know the "you" was the fear that I couldn't achieve a damn thing that you preached). Well I'm not scared anymore - just flat out appreciative of all you do here.

Marylou - Congratulations on one year! What a really fantastic accomplishment you have achieved.

Otherwise I have been buried at work and juggling too much on all fronts . This is my busy time of year being more of a financial guy, but at least it coincides with the bleh time of year weather-wise. Speaking of, I'm heading wayyy north tomorrow for a long hockey weekend so can't wait for the single digits! I may also cross over the border and even experience how our Canadian friends are faring. Last thought is over the past few weeks so many people, issues and little firestorms have bugged the living sh*t out of me, but through it all the one thing I come back to is...I haven't wanted to drink to deal with it or anything and it doesn't really enter my mind to consider it. It's more like awareness that you don't, and appreciation that it's not an option, so no struggle ensues. Life isn't rainbows and unicorns, but it is day to day unadulterated real. And man I am loving to finally feel this way.

Matt - just a heads up, and no punching any ponys over this, but you and your alleged asterisks are being slandered on roll call...

[Byrdlady]

Hi Byrdlady
I do like him but prob haven't shown that too well when we meet up and more recently I just got annoyed not knowing if he's playing games etc. I mean we're both adults. I just felt that last time we met we were both ignoring this massive elephant in the middle of the room. I get shy and I'm very unsure of myself in general so there's no way I'll take the lead. I also worry that I've read too much into somebody just being friendly.

Moni,
A few years ago, I was helping a friend work thru some of her relationship issues....I didn't know how to help her, she would ask me things and I'd just stand there with my mouth open (like a slack-jawed-nose-picker). Out of desperation, I bought a book! "He's just not that into you". It was a crazy little book, but I got a couple of good take aways from it. One of them is that if you are confused about how a man feels about you, that's because that is his intention! If he is just using you as a safety net, you will not know where you stand with him. This is intentional...he doesn't want you to think you are THE ONE, but he doesn't want to let you go either, so he keeps you guessing. However, if a man is 'into you' he will move heaven and earth to let you know it. It sounds as if your guy was dropping the hints...you were picking them up, then you gave him an indication that it WASN'T ok so he backed off. But he is still there, right? Actions speak louder than words, if you want this to go somewhere, let him know what he's doing is working! Better than that, read that book, it's really very good. It can explain it better than I can. I have actually bought the darn thing 3 or 4 times to give as gifts. Relationships are tricky, but according to that book (and my personal experience) if a man is interested, YOU will know it. XO!!

Kensho you sound just GREAT! And all it took was the promise of a cake on your one year AF anniversary! You will be there before you know it!! After those first 30 days they really add up fast. So proud of you!

Over it....Like Pinecone said, we all have those thoughts, it's how we have been conditioned....PUSH THEM OUT. They are just thoughts, they do NOT have to be acted upon.

Pinecone, I SWEAR that pinecone looks BIGGER!

FIN, great job on 50 days!!! :shout: Mighty proud of you, Mister!! This is a personal best, is it not? Carry on!

As most of you know, I've had a massive crush on Robert Redford ever since he appeared in a dream I had early on in my quit. As it relates to AL, He said, "That stuff'll kill ya". (swoon). That's all I needed to hear! I just saw a picture of him in the Sundance Catalog. Lawd half mercy, he looks ROUGH! I wish I could post that mess, his hair is colored dark?! His face looks like an old purse! GREAT COOGLY MOOGLY! (grabbing my wrinkle cream!!)
Who had the butt Velcro last?? xo, B