Newbies Nest

[Lizann]

NS, congratulations on two years! Don't usually hang out here but since my usual threads are quiet I decided to read here. I am so glad I did, you give me hope! Thank you so much for being here and supporting us.

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, All!
Seems as if the Nest had electricity yesterday! It had to be that NS was a big MileStoner. It gives us all strength when there are wins here. An individual's strength gives the whole group a cohesive, winning attitude. (Sort of like Butt Velcro).

Lav, you had 26 sets of chicken eyes on you for their breakfast? Sounds like something out of an Alfred HitchCOCK movie. Hope you came thru for the girls! Is there an actual pecking order?

I am notorious for trimming my own hair. Last night I did a little shaping. In the old days, you can imagine how AL exaggerated all this. I used to really BOTCH up my hair....I would go to my hairdresser and she would ask if I'd been in 'the hair cuttin' wine' again. Yikes. This morning when I was doing my hair, there were no giant gaps or unexplained odd areas, it was all ok. What a nice feeling.....no cringes, no shame, no regrets. It was a small thing, but a 1000 small things add to up really big things called lifestyle change. There is NO downside to staying sober! Stay true!

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Cherokeer]

No truer words Birdie. Every day I find one more thing to be grateful about. AL turns us into something so ugly we no longer even recognize what we have become or the horrible things we have done (remembered or unremembered). It poisons our bodies, our minds and our souls. How I used to think it was a reward for a hard day is beyond on me. If I could only cut those drinking years out of my mind like one cuts an article out of a newspaper but they are also the kindling that built the fire that have forged the strength to stop. So I guess those painful memories have there place for a reason. Everyday the shame and regret sting a little less and the determination to be a better me shines a little brighter. Life is to be lived. I'm no longer just going through the motions. I'm living it. :victorious:

[KENSHO]

Good attitude SF! People usually come around when they realize you are serious, and happy not drinking to boot! Alcohol just doesn't have to be a NECESSARY component to a good time.

We celebrated my son's play last night with friends. Hubs drank his share at dinner, and I could smell his margarita breath during the second play. YUCK! I was so glad not to have to wake up at 3am feeling like junk - and I was, other than needing a stout culpa joe, feeling fabulous this morning. I just don't need it anymore. Everyone at the table was talking about the version of marg. they were getting, and tasting beers. I got an ice tea/lemonade and enjoyed it. Once in awhile my brain tries to remember how I romanticized a glass of wine or other drink - but I have finally had enough of the bad things about alcohol so I see those visions as total BS - a sales pitch for nuthin' I want.

We finally have some sun today, and it has re-energized me and the family. I'm going for a run in a bit and am enjoying feeling healthy! Happy Sunday!

[available]

Morning nesters.

Byrd my dogs are forever grateful to MWO as now they do not get drunk trimmed or cut! Its the little things in life even the animal appreciate about us not drinking.

I have had one very sick puppy that I nearly lost last week. The highlight last night was that after 7 days she ate and drank by herself. I really thought she was going to die so to see her do this was wonderful, seeing her wobbly run to get a ball and giving me a kiss has made this last week of stress and sleepless nights so worth it. As i said to my daughter, if i was drinking i am not sure she would have lived as al would have taken priority for me. I know that and this is what makes this special to realise. It would not have been that i did not want her to live or i did not want to look after her but al always took priority, the addiction would not have allowed me, as much as i wanted to be there for her, i would have drank. I had every trigger to drink that sets us alkies off. Stress, guilt, tiredness, worry, distress, sadness but poppy got the best of her sober mum, she got attention, love and 100% care.

To me, its the realisation that i can do anything and everything sober. I always think of how it would have been drunk to how it was sober and sober wins every single time.

My recycle bin was picked up today and i also know that not one bottle of al was in that bin, not fecking one, gone are those days where i went out in the middle of the night with bottles wrapped in newspaper, put in empty boxes to hide the evidence. 842 bottles + of wine have not been put in that bin since i gave up drinking, that makes for a lot of other recycling to be done!

Chero, i have no shame or guilt in my life anymore, there is no room for it and i dont feel it anymore. I have forgiven myself for my past and damn it feels good.

Take care nesters and keep up the great work.

[available]

A survey on addiction if anyone is interested.

https://umich.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_8w7VB2du5tMZbut

If it works that is!

[BeachGirly]

Ava,
So happy to hear about your doggie on the mend.
And very proud of you being so strong through this- great job
And wonderful inspiration for the rest of us!

[Cherokeer]

Ava, glad your fur-baby is okay. They are truly such an integral part of out families. I hope to get to where you are one day soon. I want to let the past remain in the past. Such a waste emotion, regret and shame for things we can never go back and change. I'm getting a little closer every day.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Well, I returned my grandson to his parents but I still have my granddaughter with me. And due to this epic snowstorm being predicted for us east coast residents ~ she's likely to be here for a while

Ava, great news about your pup!
We can do awesome things when our minds are not clouded with AL.

Chero, you are doing great, no worries. You are in the process of growing stronger now than you ever have been, you'll see!

Byrdie, I made sure my hens have plenty of food & water in place for the next few days - just in case the snow is as epic as they are saying

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi, all:

Hooray for NoSugar! You were one of those ones I followed and copied - so analytical about it (!), and also so supportive. Thanks for being here for those of us coming behind. You are a sober rock star!

I had an up and down weekend. The up? I have been WAY overbooked lately, and this weekend was no exception. Last night we went to see a concert - I really was struggling with wanting to go or not. We bought the tickets a long time ago when I didn't know how busy I'd be, but I talked myself into going. About half way through an AMAZING show, I had a thought strike me hard - I am SO glad I'm not drinking now! I am enjoying show so much, I get to drive home, I'll sleep well, and I won't feel like s&$t tomorrow. Whoo Hoo!

The down? I always wonder if I should post the down here in the nest - I want to emphasize the great parts of being sober. But I also want to be real - it is not all unicorns and rainbows. Mostly I can be grateful and happy, but sometimes I struggle. I don't crave a drink per se. No Sugar put it like this - I have thoughts of alcohol in predictable situations. I have been bombarded with events centered around alcohol lately - been at bars, at parties, celebrations, milestones - all with celebratory booze. I just sometimes get tired of saying no all of the time! I wish that I could just take a gosh darned glass of champagne and have a toast. For me it is the constant being "on" that wears me down. Once I have a couple of nights off, I'll be ok. I really don't want to drink, and all I have to do is remember that I wouldn't want just one glass of champagne, I'd want the whole bottle - and I am so very grateful that I don't actually WANT the whole bottle any more, or even the glass - I just want to fit in more sometimes (given that my son called me "weird" and I suggested he should add "in a good way" tonight, that is funny that I want to fit in)!

Sorry for the rant. I don't want you new newbies to be alarmed. I don't think about alcohol all the time, nor do I sit and feel sorry for myself every time someone toasts. But I wanted to be real and say that we all have our moments...

And as for planking - coincidentally, I started the 30 Day Plank Challenge 6 days ago - find it on Facebook if you want to play along!

Ava - Glad Poppy's perking up. I listened to a new podcast this weekend - Invisibliia. The first episode is on thought and there is a lot about new ways of thinking about thinking. Just because we think something, doesn't mean it is true or has relevance. I thought a lot about alcohol as I was listening. Just because we think we can't do X or experience Y without alcohol, doesn't make it true. That is a VAST oversimplification of all I was contemplating - find the podcast on iTunes...

Happy Sober Sunday, all.

Pav

[available]

The down? I always wonder if I should post the down here in the nest - I want to emphasize the great parts of being sober. But I also want to be real - it is not all unicorns and rainbows. Mostly I can be grateful and happy, but sometimes I struggle. I don't crave a drink per se. No Sugar put it like this - I have thoughts of alcohol in predictable situations. I have been bombarded with events centered around alcohol lately - been at bars, at parties, celebrations, milestones - all with celebratory booze. I just sometimes get tired of saying no all of the time! I wish that I could just take a gosh darned glass of champagne and have a toast. For me it is the constant being "on" that wears me down. Once I have a couple of nights off, I'll be ok. I really don't want to drink, and all I have to do is remember that I wouldn't want just one glass of champagne, I'd want the whole bottle - and I am so very grateful that I don't actually WANT the whole bottle any more, or even the glass - I just want to fit in more sometimes (given that my son called me "weird" and I suggested he should add "in a good way" tonight, that is funny that I want to fit in)!

I totally agree with what you say Pav, there are times i would like to be "in" with everyone having a drink, to be so called "normal" but i cant and it annoys me and frustrates me but at the end of the day i am an alcoholic. I feel boring too even though i am not boring by any means but for the most part i am totally grateful to be sober. God forbid i would come on here and say i drank. I just keep reminding myself that a year along in this journey is still relatively new and hopefully one day we wont have our guard up in situations.

Last night i taught Mia how to knit, my first thought was "i need a wine to do this". Mia just laughed when i told her that one. We had a ball knitting together. That would never have happened if i had been drinking. God i didnt knit for over ten years. Its hard to knit pissed believe me. Juggling a glass and two needles is impossible, let alone remembering where you are up too.

[lifechange]

MAE Nesters!
Crazy time difference between Ava and Pav! Ava, we've had the Australian open on non-stop in this house for the past 100 years, it seems like! ughhh...
I'm glad to hear your little Poppy is better, Ava! I can just imagine how happy you must have been as she began to show interest in life again. I love reading your posts, dear girl, and thank you for taking the time to tell it like it is. I know it helps you, too!
You, too, Pav.. I think it's important to be clear and honest not only about the ups of sobriety but about the difficulties as well. It astounds me at the moment and pisses me off that all of the celebratory occasions revolve around alcohol! But I guess if you don't drink often or much, the glass of champagne now and then, and the buzz it brings if you're able to stop after one or two is nice..? Must be. But like you, I always wanted at least a bottle and usually didn't stop until I was sick. And if I managed to stop before getting sick, I was still always very hungover the next day. And if I couldn't for some reason get another drink, my mind was so terribly preoccupied, to the point of not being able to enjoy any part of the event. For me drinking is a lose-lose situation!!!
The pod-cast sounds really interesting..

Kensho, I'm always surprised at how much I hate the smell of alcohol on the breath.. and also at how little alcohol it takes to leave it's mark. I can't believe I used to try and lie and think that a piece of gum or brushing my teeth could cover up the smell! You can also easily tell if someone has had a beer or 10, right? or a glass of wine or 2 bottles, not just from how they are acting, but from how they smell!! yuck. Hope you had a lovely run

Now I can't remember everything I read here yesterday.. I know I wanted to respond.. will have to read back!

Today I have an easy day at work, then coffee with a friend and the gym.. I had a great meditation AA meeting yesterday and want to get back into a daily meditation practice. I've been saying this for ages and then procrastinating sitting my butt down to do it. But I will.
Hope everyone has a good Monday!!

[lifechange]

I just wanted to add.. that because I was SOBER this weekend and was fortunate enough not to have any sorts of cravings, I was able to purposefully live in the moment.. especially where the kids were concerned. I made it my goal to listen intently, take their needs seriously, spend time doing what they enjoy doing/find important, remain patient while helping with homework/projects. I should say that I only have my kids part time, one week here, one week with their dad, so it's possible for me to put a lot of things on hold until they're away. But while I was drinking, I either just wanted them to be gone, or busy or sat them in front of a film, didn't listen well, couldn't remember what they'd told me, couldn't be compassionate.
This weekend was soooooooo fulfilling for us all.

[enzo'smom]

Yesterday I was pretty anxious all day. Here is why….. I live near a theater that shows non-mainstream films….Jonathan Demme is very involved with it (he is a movie producer)….My brother in law is a Director of Photography and has done a whole bunch of movies…..The second movie he ever made is called Rockers from 1978. It is a non-scripted story of rastafarians in trench town Jamaica. I have been watching this movie since I was 20 with all my friends….it was a perfect excuse to PARTY….drink tons and smoke tons a pot because that is what they do in the movie!!! anyway, last night, this theater had a showing of Rockers. Jonathan Demme was there to host it and my brother in law took questions after the movie. It was very exciting because it was the first time we had all seen the movie on the big screen.

I was anxious because how could I go see that movie without a drink and not stoned????? I did not crave it but was projecting that I would be uncomfortable through the movie and afterwards….was I wrong!!! Not only did I enjoy the movie tremendously, but I noticed subtle things that I had never noticed before….funny things!! We had a great time and I am proud of my brother in law..After the movie we all went back to my house for a huge sushi dinner. I was a little bit uncomfortable but not white knuckle uncomfortable. It was the first time in a very long time that I could partake in the conversation about the movie and what parts were my favorite, etc. because it was the first time in a very long time that I could actually remember the entire movie in detail!!!!! So, while my husband thought I was irritable (I was a little bit due to anxiety) the evening ended on a very high note…..and I really and truly don't mean that kind of high.

stay safe during this storm!!!! my office is closed today already and it hasn't even started snowing yet!

I am in a very content mood because of last night….feeling more and more confident about my sobriety every day

[ShoshannaDreyfus]

Good morning everyone, been MIA for a bit but have remained AL free during that time. Our house is getting back this flu, it went away for a week then back again. Same symptoms. I have anemia right now, during my section with last baby my surgeon advised me my iron was low and I have it to watch out. I think this is why I got the flu again so I started taking vitamins again that he recommended to get my levels back up. Ugh. Tired of being sick and tired. And we have a huge storm about to come through so thankfully we are all prepared for that and I'm keeping our daughter home from school tomorrow so I don't have to worry about her coming home early or anything just solve that problem right there. I have to say I am absolutely exhausted. We have a new puppy, he is a Standard Poodle and he is the most handsome boy. I've never really had a larger type dog before so this will be fun. We're house breaking and taking him to classes and he is a very smart boy, he's learning very fast and really good with the kids. I hope everyone is doing well, I haven't had a chance to read back as yet.