Newbies Nest

[Orimus]

Thanks, I'll take that velcro. Got another roll?

Godsmack station on iheartradio blasting right now. Had a few tonight and just don't want anymore. I'll wake up with that horrible taste in my mouth tomorrow, have a horrible taste in my mouth right now. The blizzard has been in a lull the past couple of hours and I'm just trying not to go back to the liquor store right now. Dangerous and stupid. Don't know if I'm working remote tomorrow.

Full plate at work, more than a little overwhelmed. Been using words like drowning, crushed. I know better than that - the language we use when we talk to our self means a lot. At the same time feel a bit like a fraud, like I rose too fast and I have people looking to me to hold it together.

Need to sleep, need to cook not drink. Don't feel like doing any of it. Drinking is my hiding place. Need to make a list, slow down. Breathe. This is me pausing - stimulus, pause, response.

And stay close before my head explodes. This is just a moment in time, let it pass.

Thanks for listening. I know I've been just a hit and run poster here the past six months. But it does help.

[Orimus]

Just reading back through. So much going on in the nest! Congrats to all those staying AF on all their milestones!

I am trying to focus to the basics - eat well, sleep well, clear the house. Need to drink more water and relax. So far getting back to sleeping well is in a tug of war with eating well. (cooking . . . ughh)

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Way to go, MyWayIn! Congratulations on a huge milestone - and to have done it through all that stress. Think of how much worse all that would have been with a drink in hand.

Orimus - Are you trying to stop drinking and you keep getting stuck with the same old habit? What sticks you? I used to think cooking or... but I have found a lot of great, easy recipes on multiple websites. They take very little time, and I make enough for leftovers - much easier now that I don't have a drink, and melt into the couch after work. Also, as you know, alcohol impairs sleeping, so there's another reason to stop. TWO reasons in the first two sentences! Prove them wrong at work by staying focused on what you need to do - and that would be helped by - you guessed it - quitting drinking. Maybe if instead of an occasional poster you became a regular poster you would have the support you need to ask for BEFORE you drink.

Daisy - Child care is an amazing job - I am in awe of those who do it. I would love to send my kids to you (well, they're 15 and 13 now, so that would be awkward anyway).

G - Great to see you - coming up on another milestone. Hope you're well strapped in, my friend.

I had two big doctor's appts. with my son (all ok) today/tonight. We had a great time hanging out and it was great to be present with him instead of wondering when I could come home to drink. Phew.

Good night, all.

Pav

[lifechange]

Good (my) Morning Nesters,
it's freezing cold and raining here.. yuck.
and I woke up feeling HEAVY, to the bones and in my mind.
heavy and anxious, not for any reason in particular (except maybe all the mnm's I ate last night.. yuck)
feeling anxious/panicky is one of my triggers so I will pay close attention today. I forced myself to sit for a 30 minute meditation and though my mind wandered the universe, it did help a bit. Now I'm going to eat a healthy breakfast, head off to work and plan to go to the gym afterwards. I DO NOT DRINK, no matter what and no matter who!

Mr. G, I haven't said hi to you for awhile!! Hi! Looking forward to celebrating with you soon!

Orimus, I can really relate to how you feel.. I hope you'll pick today to join us in the Nest for a good 30 day AF stint! I don't know you, your history, but I would guess that most of us here can relate to you on a lot of levels. I KNOW that everything, everything improves in my life when I'm sober. Don't let those damned GSR Brothers talk you into drinking again today! You don't need it. You need to be clear of mind to deal with life, to learn to love life!!

ok. time for brekkie. :hug: to all of you!!!

[available]

Very true LC everything improves in our lives without al and the more time away from al the better we feel.

I know with my drinking dream last night that when i woke up and it felt so real, that i did not enjoy drinking. I remember standing there thinking "why am i doing this", it wasnt who i was anymore, it wasnt me. There was no fun or enjoyment in that bottle of vodka. At the end of my drinking career there was no fun either, only sadness. It was a good reminder of where i dont ever want to be again.

Keep positive those feelings will pass. When you mention how you are feeling i remember back to how i was and yes i felt the same. So bone tired, body aches, headaches, feeling like i needed to do a million things at once and having no energy. God how i wanted to turn my brain off! You are doing all the right things and it just gets better in time. I used to think when someone said that "it cant get any worse". All that you feel will be a vague memory and thats a good thing.

[enzo'smom]

snowed in on my birthday
no liquor in the house….just my warm, wonderful family

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

The blizzard fizzled out around here & that's OK with me

Happy birthday jennie!
Enjoy your day at home with your family. Maybe you can go out later & build a sober snowman with your kids, LOL

Orimus, sorry you chose to drink. What are you hiding from, do you know?
I continued to drink out of fear long after I knew I should stop. I just didn't know that I had the ability to face my fears, we all have the ability. Commit yourself to 30 AF days & have some faith in yourself ~ you will be amazed. Nothing changes if nothing changes, you have to begin the process. Everything becomes much clearer when your head clears, honestly.

Wishing everyone a good AF Tuesday!

Lav

[abcowboy]

Jennie!! (enzo'smom)

[lifechange]

Happy Birthday, Jennie!!!!!:heartbeat:
How cosy to be snowed in with the whole family.. looks like they're going to have to give you the pedi and massage!! and cook you dinner. and bake a cake.. I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Thanks for that, Ava! It always brings me up a bit when someone says, hey, I felt like that, too, and it passed! Sometimes when I'm in the moment of feeling unwell, I'm afraid that I might never feel well again.. Silly, but true. NS also made a good point.. she said, " You know, once you remove the option (drinking!) from your life, it really doesn't matter if you have a good or a bad day. You just live your life on its own terms, good and bad." so very true!!

[BeachGirly]

Happy birthday Jennie- enjoy the snowed in day and relax!

[NoSugar]

A snow day birthday sounds PERFECT! Hope you have a great first of many sober birthdays, Jennie!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Happy Birthday, Jennie!!! This is the best birthday present you could give yourself! Hope you have some hot chocolate on hand! Enjoy your day!!

There are just so many emotions involved with getting/staying sober. THAT is the problem...as alkies, we don't deal with emotions very well....we want to quash (Kensho...I just love that word now) them down. Rather than DEALING/COPING we avoid. Like Lav said, FACING these things and sorting thru them as you go makes all the difference. Instead of seeing things as a brick wall that's insurmountable, take a step back and try to work your way thru, maybe all of your chores and work don't get done today...that's ok.
Many years ago I was at a sales meeting and we had these stupid TEAM BUILDING exercises....There were 2 cinder blocks about 10 feet apart and 2 boards, one long and one short and we had to figure out how to transport our entire team from one block to the other. Our team leader said, 'Too Hard, let's move on!!' And someone in the group said, 'Well wait a minute, let's think about this' so the next thing you know, we were working it out and we all crossed those boards. In this AF journey, I think we just get overwhelmed....and of course our first "go to" thought is, "TOO HARD, Feck it, I'll start tomorrow". However, if we can take that step back....observe, experience what is happening, we can work thru it and get to the other side!!! THIS WORKS. I'm here to tell you it does. Change begins with our thinking, and follows with our actions. This is NOT the same old thing, THIS change is a big one. Prepare for it and you can work thru it. It is accomplished just like you'd go about eating an elephant.....one bite at a time.

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

Edit to add:
Kensho has 50 days today!!!! Top Banana!!! Wooohoo!!!!
:banana-computer:

[TJAF]

Orimus

How are you doing today? Your post is all so familiar and you need to know you are not alone. It sounds like you might need to some help and that is ok. This is hard,, probably the hardest thing you'll face but the upside for all the work is wonderful. The old saying the greater the risk the bigger the reward is so true when it comes to fighting off addiction. If you want some free advice maybe you need to see your primary care physician, as scary as that can be, trust me they have seen it all and heard it all...and they can be caring, sympathetic and helpful. If not, there are plenty of MD's that are. He or She will make sure you aren't at risk when you stop, will prescribe meds that will help with the anxiety and ease the withdrawal and will help in monitoring your recovery. As importantly it provides the missing pieces in your history that makes sure you are getting the right care for what else may ail you. Give it a shot.

[lifechange]

Happy 50 days, Kensho!!! Yayyyyy!!!

[Overit-still]

Good morning!