Newbies Nest

[A new page]

Hi Londoner,
I think the reason relapses get harder may be due to "alcoholic kindling".
It is one SCARY theory.....and one that will be on my mind if I am ever considering a drink!

There is a lot of info out there about this, here is one site:

http://www.recoveryfirst.org/the-kindling-effect-of-addiction.html/

[Londoner]

Thanks a new page.

That's really interesting. You think you're in the clear. Functioning well, getting on with things. And, suddenly you're back where you started. Only a whole lot worse off.

The future needs to be set up for success. Social situations have to be analysed ahead of time. You have to be aware of triggers.

It's funny. I remember back to my first time getting hammered. Or doing drugs. It was a breath of fresh air. It was funny. You were getting away with things and doing things you wouldn't do sober. You were mixing with people you wouldn't be sober. You were going places you wouldn't be sober.

It was a laugh.

Fast forward a decade and it is a sad thing. A hidden illness that no one knows about. That you suffer with. That gets worse each time you suppress it.

Knowledge will be powerful in this. And we cannot get lazy.

Thanks again.

[Overit-still]

Just finishing up at the gym, checking in!

[Byrdlady]

Good Mornin, All!
JMoore, great to see you and welcome. Hope you've found a comfy twig!! We have LOTS of success here in the nest!
Londoner, I can see improvements in your mood already! Day 3 is big, all the AL is out of your system and you are operating under your own power!
Call it whatever you want to, but I must associate BAD things with AL in order to carry out this lifestyle (I have heard it called BRAIN WASHING, and if that's the case, hooray for me!!). The minute I romanticize about it, that's a chink in my armor and AL gets in. For ME, AL is The Enemy. That's the way I look at it...so far, so good.

LifeChange, your post is extremely important. Most nesters DO leave here because they get tired of hearing the struggles and they think they have graduated to a point of NOT having to hear it anymore. I have felt that way myself. HOWEVER, THAT is what keeps ME sober. I don't want to go back there! Yes, I must be reminded daily, weekly, whatever because AL is the damdest (Southern Speak) opponent I've ever seen. The moment you think 'I've got this!! I don't need the daily reminders' BAM!
We get knocked on our keysters. The other night I was watching tv. During the course of 2 hours, there were 8 ads for AL. That's just 2 hours!! We are constantly being bombarded with the message TO drink. It may not always be fun and games in the nest, but it is REAL. That's why my butt is secured with Mr. G's Idiot Proof Grade-A Butt Velcro!! It's not available in stores, but if you act NOW, it will be passed....from the right!
I have seen so many people drift away saying, "I just want to get on with my life and be NORMAL!" Well, that's nice and all except for ONE THING>>> We aren't normal, we are alcoholics and just like diabetics needs meds each day, so do we! I learn something new around here every single day! Knowledge is power! Stay connected to the Mothership!!! It's a really SMALL price to pay!

My big sales meeting is next week. It's a big deal. All of my peers will be there, and the big bosses. I want to put my best foot forward. I launched a weight loss campaign...I have gained 4 pounds. I have tried to get my face cleared up....I look like a teen with pimples and scratches all over my face. Yesterday, I got a fever blister on my lower lip and this morning half my lip is NUMB! Plus my back hurts as if I'm getting a kidney STONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What tha WHAT???? Oh, and my colitis is flaring....other than that, I'm good.

Happy BIRTHDAY RAHUL!!!!!
:balloons:
Hope everyone has an easy day today!!! Hugs to all, Byrdie

[jmoore]

Good Morning everyone! Bydie....I swear I remember you from my first time here 6 years ago. I never posted but read ALOT!!!!! IT was Nov, 2009 I think. MWO saved me me at that time. For 8 months anyway. Why is it I see almost everyone that relapses does it after 8 months? Seems like the magic number. Am I right? Was it you? I decided to post this time. We all are so similar....it's almost freaky!!! Well....I'mstill still just waking up so I won't ramble....right now anyway!!!! I'm on week 2 of topa. Ya'll have a great day!!! J Mo ♥

[NoSugar]

A daily prophylactic dose of MWO can do us a world of good, even after we feel "cured". It's been an eventful few days around the NoSugar house and last evening as we were heading home (to no waiting dinner, as I'd been away all day), I thought, We should go out for a celebratory dinner and one glass of wine. Ha Ha Ha. I immediately brushed that crazy thought aside but was amazed it even entered my mind! I have no interest in having one or ten glasses of wine. But it made me think -- without my daily MWO dose, would it have been so easy to turn away from that thought? Or is it because I give myself a little immunization booster each day that it was no problem? For me, getting free from an addiction required HIGH doses of MWO. At the beginning, it was pretty much like I was getting a transfusion!! Later, I was online, reading and posting now and then throughout the day. How much you need and how much you have to give ebbs and and flows but checking in here regularly (for me, daily) is a small price to pay to keep your immunization against AL up to date!

[KENSHO]

Morning Nesty Peeps. Yawning today. Thanks for the great words on NEVER BEING CURED. I do feel good - having some sober days behind me, but I won't underestimate the resourcefulness of AL to find a new angle or try to take advantage of a weak moment. SO, checking in today. Oh, I reconciled a personal credit card that I used to pay through business - owner's draw. It USED to be riddled with liquor store purchases - what DID my bookkeeper think? And NOW what does she think since there aren't ANY charges to anywhere but Starbucks, retail clothing stores and an occasional spa? That was fun to see - I haven't entered that card since last March and seeing the progression was really fun.

Have a good day, and NEVER UNDERESTIMATE the power of the beast! Armour up - velcro attached. I'm so lucky to have found this nest. :heartbeat:

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning everyone! Bydie....I swear I remember you from my first time here 6 years ago. I never posted but read ALOT!!!!! IT was Nov, 2009 I think. MWO saved me me at that time. For 8 months anyway. Why is it I see almost everyone that relapses does it after 8 months? Seems like the magic number. Am I right? Was it you? I decided to post this time. We all are so similar....it's almost freaky!!! Well....I'mstill still just waking up so I won't ramble....right now anyway!!!! I'm on week 2 of topa. Ya'll have a great day!!! J Mo ♥

Yes, I lurked around here for many months before joining. Somehow JOINING was admitting something, but as you can see, it STILL took me a year to get my head adjusted!
I like RULES as it turns out...AND I like to see trends and when people relapse IS something I pay attention to. I'm sure there is all kinds of science out there documenting it, but if I were putting this on a graph, I'd see spikes at 3-4 days, 7 days, 30 days, and it's all over the board after that, including 14 years, and 20 years! I think at 4 days, we start to feel SO GOOD that we think a reward is in order! At 7 days, I think the weekend hits and that's an obstacle, plus we have proven to ourselves we can do this so SURELY we are not alkies. At 30 days, we think we've got this thing BEAT and we test the waters!!! Once people get to 100 days, the risk seems to get smaller. Of course we all know we are never 100% SAFE. There is a real flat spot emotionally from 4-7 months (give or take) that is a rough edge, so I can see where that might overtake someone. I call it The 'Is that all there is' Phase. It's a challenge but things even out tremendously on the other side. It isn't that things are hard...it's just that they are flat....is that what happened to you? GREAT to see you!!! Welcome back! B

[Resolve]

Thanks for the comments from my bit of a tired rant yesterday. I'm not sure if it even came out clearly as to the real frustration I experienced which ultimately was with myself for my previous actions. At this stage of the game, I feel pretty good on the sobriety front. At nearly 3 months there isn't any real struggle to speak of with urges to drink or lingering thoughts. The struggle from my recent travel was that I continue to deal with the regret and embarrassment around my relapse circumstances, so being around the very people this happened with for four days continually surfaced the negative feelings I'm still reconciling and felt a bit too much in my face. Drinking is at the root of what caused all of this and I never considered doing it despite my discomfort. The confidence and feel good aspects at this stage are going well, I've got a solid plan intact and I don't want to send a wrong signal or message that at this point it's a struggle for the wrong reasons. It's not and I can't imagine turning back. Enough said about this topic!

Today I posted 88 days in roll call. There are certain numbers that have meaning, and this one is on my son's jersey. I've spent a lot of time cheering for that number and it reinforces how this has been worth it in every sense to post that one in particular.

Londoner - you're a relatively young guy so the fact that you're dealing with all of this now is great. Maybe you hit the accelerator earlier in life, but you've been here and had success before so you know the way. You've made some great points and it's all about that mindset and plan to get and stay on the right track. Keep at it and here. Lav said it so well with "nothing changes if nothing changes." She has a way with a few words packing a big punch.

Welcome back too jmoore!

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello nesters,

29th Jan is my birthday ! Thanks byrdlady for the wishes. I recall exactly last year on this day I checked into an hotel alone for work and was pleasantly surprised by hotel staff with surprise cake. But that was last year ! I was drinking alcoholic and a workcoholic as well. Today I am a recovering alcoholic and maybe still a workaholic .

For as long as I can remember I have memories of drinking on this day. But not today. I had a sober day ... While there was a client who came for dinner and then drinks and dinner with evening but no beers for me ... I am proud sober birthday boy was wanted to back home and cut the cake with kids.

Quite a change in priorities as I see from last year as compared to this year. How drinking is not a priority and how wonderful birthday hug from kids felt so full and satisfying.

Sometimes I feel surprised how I came all the from a completely out of the control drunk, with guilt all the time to this current state of mind I am today. I know how I did it. I found a way to stop, found a way to share, have a support group and talk, read and read ... Here in MWO. I owe this site to the first sober birthday since ... 15 years ? Or 20 years !

Message for newbies : you need a support group and find something that work AA or online one like this. But you cannot fight this beast alone. Knowing facts is one thing but trying a believing that it can be done it totally another. By being part of the group you are telling your sub conscious with full conviction : you can do it !

[Lavande]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAHUL:happy2:
Wonderful to hear you have celebrated the day with cake, not beer!!!!
Better for you & good for your family as well!

[Matt M.]

Rahul~ your a badass. That is all


Resolve~

Today I posted 88 days in roll call. There are certain numbers that have meaning, and this one is on my son's jersey. I've spent a lot of time cheering for that number and it reinforces how this has been worth it in every sense to post that one in particular.

That's good stuff Resolve, not sure if you noticed but you also just hit 88 in "Posts" as well. Which you may have just explained in your post, I'm not real smart. As much as I enjoy reading your stuff, it really reinforces how grammatically ignorant and freakishly crude I am. :toilet:

Hope all is well my friends and stay hard! (That's what she said)

[Overit-still]

Hello Nesters!!
... It may have been disguised as, "I'm sick of all the bitching and moaning", or "I'm going to try another way, on my own" or "I'm going to stop talking so much about not drinking and just do it".. whatever!!! Coming here each and every day has been the best Tool for me in times of sobriety and I'm definitely sticking near by. I learn so much from all of you..

HAHA! LC-this is exactly why I left the last...long time ago. I thought all the talking about drinking just made me want to drink. Very clever you....

[enzo'smom]

just a quick check in…i hear my puppy is up to no good in the other room
had a crazy, hectic stressful AF day today!!!
Any awful day without alcohol is better than a wonderful day with alcohol….although that would never exist for me

[MossRose]

Long day, so just a quick check in.

Jmoore - I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have deleted that post. I get weird like that sometimes. I tend to overthink things. That's part of what got me in this mess in the first place. I'm working on it. Anyway, for the others here, I had posted a lengthy response to Londoner about the exhaustion that overtakes us when we continue to quit AL over and over. I also mentioned that when I first arrived at MWO, I thought of it as a coin-toss. I felt so lousy at that point, that I decided to give quitting a shot. I figured if I was going to feel that crappy, it might as well have a purpose. Not very inspiring, I know, but true. I had little faith that I could quit. But as I've said before - I was too tired to quit, and too exhausted to keep drinking. Thankfully, I decided that I didn't want to be tired anymore. So that sums up my original post. Only you all know me - it took me many, many paragraphs to say it. LOL.

Londoner, I haven't had time to read back, so I hope you are doing well. Give it your all this time and see what happens. Hang in there.

Rahul - Happy birthday!! Enjoy.

I can't properly respond tonight because I'm a bit tired and cranky. Work has been very stressful lately. It's all politics and it's making me sad. I did have a good laugh today. My office is the typical corporate environment - rows and rows of cubes. Someone asked a coworker where I sit, and she directed him to my "stall." I'm still giggling about that. Too funny.