Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Byrdie, that sounds terrible! Glad you are on the upside!

I am feeling very anxious and unsettled today.... Some not fun stuff right now, but drinking is NEVER an answer to anything, so THAT won't even be a consideration. Just trying to make it through the day and find some down time this weekend. I need to exercise, drink more water, drink less caffeine and take some breaths. And sometimes, it just feels shi&%y for a time - and we just have to accept it, do our best and move forward. So that's what I'll do.

Sending good thoughts to everyone!

[Matt M.]

Kensho~ just an observation and only because I truly care. Yesterday you had shared that you had a thought/ craving while at home. Combine that with the hole restless, irritable and discontent feeling, could be a recipe for disaster. Good for you for staying in here and getting in front of it! Your a strong women!

Congrats to Daisy on a truly great accomplishment.

Lifechange~ You sound really good

Pav~ LOVE what you said about "cutting back" as to not ruin your drinking forever.
I lived that! I had to keep my drinking under control to keep the alcohol Nazi(my wife) from dropping the no drinking hammer. GD! We worked so hard to protect our "coveted" alcohol addiction.
Today I'm thanking God my wife did drop that hammer, I needed it right between the eyes.

Stay Hard dear friends!

[Byrdlady]

Kensho~ just an observation and only because I truly care. Yesterday you had shared that you had a thought/ craving while at home. Combine that with the hole restless, irritable and discontent feeling, could be a recipe for disaster. Good for you for staying in here and getting in front of it! Your a strong women!

Congrats to Daisy on a truly great accomplishment.

Lifechange~ You sound really good

Pav~ LOVE what you said about "cutting back" as to not ruin your drinking forever.
I lived that! I had to keep my drinking under control to keep the alcohol Nazi(my wife) from dropping the no drinking hammer. GD! We worked so hard to protect our "coveted" alcohol addiction.
Today I'm thanking God my wife did drop that hammer, I needed it right between the eyes.

Stay Hard dear friends!

Can I get an AMEN? Same happened to me, I resented it at the time, but now I can see my hubs saved my life. Oy!!! That is the power of addiction!!! B

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters!!
I'm sitting down and putting my feel up after a long day at work! I went to an AA meeting this afternoon (Friday afternoon and Sunday noon are the only English speaking I can make) and though I didn't really feel like it, I've made the commitment because it does make me feel better. I tend to be a run around, multi task, always on the move kind of person and it's something I want to change. I'm trying to train myself to take my time, live more in the moment, leave out the "unnecessary" time wasting sort of tasks, learning to let the dirty dishes sit overnight in exchange for a card game and conversation with my daughter, etc. and going to these meetings helps me -- to sit in one place for one hour. Plus there is usually one person I can relate to in some way.

Kensho, I hope you'll get a break this weekend. Can you take a break from the accounting work and do something relaxing and nice?? " I need to exercise, drink more water, drink less caffeine and take some breaths.." This is great! and also my goal for the weekend, to start, but actually for life! :hug: Tomorrow is bound to be easier..

Enzo, I also have to be careful with day counting goals. Everyone is different, but I know I've also unknowingly set myself up for disappointment in the past. I like having goals and I like counting days, but I have to remind myself that this is a Lifechange!! Like forever! But I do love to celebrate the milestones.

Ok, kids in the bath and I have to do "Lice control". How gross is that? Before moving to Germany and having kids I'd never seen a louse, or even heard of anyone having one for that matter. Now I am an expert! And there's no such thing as having just one!! yuck..

[Resolve]

Overit and Jennie - I hear you about counting days and how that can inadvertently get in the way of short-term goals impacting long-term success. I used to count my sober days to justify my drinking days believing that provided some offset to binging all weekend, and one of the things I had looked forward to in 2015 was no longer counting. The plan was and is all sober days from here out. Then I decided I wanted to start posting in roll call in 2015 to raise my accountability and keep this going since I felt I needed to do that, so I'm back to counting again. It's a balance to maintain this without placing too much emphasis on the count while keeping our eyes on the prize that we really want - lifetime duration (not just PP!). You make good points though that milestones are motivators but we need to be mindful of the now what feeling or celebration of achieving a mark without the long-term foundation and planning to keep achieving them. One day at a time anyway we look at it, right?

Wife and I are having dinner with another couple tomorrow. We haven't seen them in quite a few months, and the last time I used the getting over a stomach bug as the go-to excuse (I've apparently had about 20 stomach bugs since the fall). So I think tomorrow will be my first more obvious repeat outing where I'll have to come up with some line. The difference now is I don't really care since I don't drink anymore and will probably just go with that. No longer anxious about this.

As far as aligning my day count and number of posts, I'd like to be that crafty but really just coincidence. I'll take it as a sign of some sort as if asking if I finally get this now. And yes, I think I do.

LC - we suffered through a lice infestation experience before with the entire family so I know it's a nuisance. Good luck and hope it's a quick rid in your home. There was a hilarious episode of The Office about lice if you need a laugh about it.

Hey Jane - thumbs up on The Americans (just no kids present!).

For those watching the big game this weekend, enjoy the Super Sober Sunday Superbowl!

[daisy45]

Have a great night Resolve!
Byrdie, glad to hear your problem has 'passed'.
Thanks all for the good wishes. On the subject of goals.....I am def not a stickler on that but there is a subconscious thing that you are aware and it is a nice feeling to get to certain points.
Posting in the rollcall in the early days can be tough especially beside those big numbers.......but we need to remember that these people are 'us' and the numbers symbolize 'hope'. I especially found it hard to post next to Eloise (nothing personal Eloise). On my last AF run, her and I started together and she is still going strong.....I would look at her days and think where I could be now....touch of envy....perhaps it has actually helped me get going again.....I am delighted for you Eloise!
Quiet night home alone watching Big Brother in front of a big fire.......nice!

[Byrdlady]

Daisy, if it helps, I am jealous of Jackie Clair's number! That coulda/shoulda been me!!! I have resigned myself to this: There will always be someone in front of me and someone behind me....I have cushions! You are doing it now, THAT'S all that matters! I love your perspective....it does provide hope! EVERY DAY COUNTS! Hugs dear lady, B

[enzo'smom]

we are all a bunch of dry drunks regardless of how many days…..

[Pie]

we are all a bunch of dry drunks regardless of how many days…..

I couldn't disagree with you more, Jennie. But I will defend your right to have an opinion that differs from mine. Best to you on your journey.

Pie

[MossRose]

Jennie - I don't mean to be disagreeable, but I'm not sure I agree. I am always disappointed by the stigma that is attached to being a former alcoholic. Yes - I did say former. I know that will be controversial, but I stand by it. I no longer identify myself as a drunk, although I certainly qualified as one for many decades. Today, I prefer to think of myself as someone who used to drink but has left that life behind. I'm not in denial. I know that I must be forever vigilant. But I also refuse to define myself by a behavior that no longer applies to me. If I start drinking again, then I will once again be a drunk. I accept that.

No other addiction is treated the same way as alcoholism. I smoked for almost 40 years, and when I quit, no one labeled me as a "dry smoker." I received nothing but kudos, congratulations and support. I was seen as a warrior! I can never smoke a cigarette again without becoming re-addicted. I know that for a fact. It's no different than if I took that first drink. Both would send me back to the beginning. However, I hope that one day, alcoholism will be viewed the same as other addictions. Something that can be conquered permanently.

Please forgive me my rant, but this point is so important to me. I believe the fear of being stigmatized by our past behavior is what keeps us in the shadows. I really don't want to start up a huge argument on whether "once and alcoholic, always an alcoholic" is true or not. Of course, it's true. We've already proved that we can't drink AL responsibly. It's just the life-long label that bothers me.

Have a good night all. We are bracing for a huge snow storm this weekend. I'm not even depressed about it. We've had easy in my part of the world this winter. It should be beautiful.

[Byrdlady]

we are all a bunch of dry drunks regardless of how many days…..

How do you mean?

[choice]

Hi there, I haven't even started to read though... but wanted to jump in I am realizing I need to get some support after falling off the wagon for 10 months after 3 years of sobriety. I hear it's harder this time and that is totally freaking me out! Also wasn't sure what I was going to do about my problem so decided today is my first AF day but really shaky about what my resolve is at the moment. Just glad to be here.

[Pie]

Welcome to the Nest, Choice!

[choice]

Thanks

[NoSugar]

Hi, again, Choice. I thought you said it was harder. If I misunderstood you (sorry!), maybe you'll be fortunate and that won't turn out to be the case for you. That sure would be a gift! Glad to see you came to the nest :smile:.

Jennie, what's up? That cryptic post didn't sound like your recent posts at all. Are you ok?

Moss, I agree with everything you wrote. (Please don't delete it :wink. I'm not a diabetic when I don't eat sugar and I'm not an alcoholic when I don't drink. I accept that I have the lifelong potential to be both. I can live with that.