Newbies Nest

[choice]

Well, here it is almost 1 am my time.. and I'm just finally able to sorta catch up here! Turns out.. I was pretty much just sick, and not so much hungover.. as Hubby wasn't drinking and has exactly what I had. I did wonder as my tolerance had gotten pretty high. Too high.

Doesn't madder, I can be thankful that something good came out of the strange flu I had... Truth is I have been wanting to quit again for around 3 months as I reflected on all the different events leading up.. the writing has been on the wall so to speak... For about that long.. I was struggling and failing at moderation. Then I got to where I thought.. I'm just a drinker.. who drinks heavier then others. Yeah.. so... whatever!

And as I typed here yesterday, I really saw how much I need to be AF again. Just a quick thing about PAWS.. (from what I remember when I had it)... It was so confusing! I believe I was about 3 months sober, and could not understand why some major anxiety came back.. it was tough, but it helped so much just to read about it and understand it was a very real thing. I think it happened again at the 6 month mark and at 18 months for me too. I did have a slip at 18 months.. but there is a lot to say about that slip.. that I don't have time to write about atm.

PAWS and HALT were two biggies for me. Especially HALT. It really helps to run through the list whenever I feel a craving.. no madder how tiny a craving it may be. I always feel it in the back of my throat.

Yep, so today.. I was quickly reading a magazine I hadn't gotten too since Christmas.. a Donna Hay one with all sorts of beautiful foodie photos.. and I was hit in the face by so many adds for wine. All the brands I'd been drinking lately too. I heard the little voice that has been saying .. it's ok.. you drink now.. And then literally closed my eyes and did some deep breathing.. NO YOU DO NOT.. I saw in big letters. So I raced through those adds to see the good stuff.. But it sure made me realize.. how i need to be on my toes! And how, I don't think I can do this alone. So I am pretty thankful that this place exists.

[enzo'smom]

Hello everyone!!!
I found a free meditation app that I highly recommend. The free meditation is on addiction. For a couple of dollars, you can also try the "drinking" meditation. I find them both really awesome. Its call "zenmixer"

Thankfully, Super Bowl sunday is not a trigger for me. I have been known to not even watch the game!! But I know it is a huge trigger for a lot of us here in the U.S.A…..so my thoughts are with you….it is only just another football game. I will be here in the nest on and off during the game so post if you need to!! I want to help.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Waiting for more snow this afternoon, ho hum!
I am not a football fan so I will fill my day doing the things I like to do

Choice, we all need support & that's why the nest exists. Drop in as often as you like!

Wishing everyone a peaceful AF Sunday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good morning, Nesters!
I am all packed (overpacked) for my big meeting tomorrow. Its like a cartoon, the darn suitcase is bulging!

Choice, the pull of AL is everywhere....but for some of us, we simply have to adopt a ZERO tolerance policy. If AL has caused us problems in the past, the only solution is to eliminate it from the future. I hope you stay the course. As Dr Phil would say, 'How did that moderating work out for you?' For all us us here, it didn't work out at all. I say the only people who can moderate are the ones that dont realize they are doing it. Hang in with us! It IS worth it.

Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Londoner]

Afternoon guys.

Day 6 here. Although it still feels like day 0, as the last binge has wiped me out for a week. Out of the house for the first time in a week. Feeling detached from reality - life feels like a blur.

Trooping on. Moving forward. And realising how important a forum like this is in recovery. Just checking in with some interaction with like minded individuals means the World.

Have a great day & enjoy the Superbowl for those who are into it.

[A new page]

Doesn't madder, I can be thankful that something good came out of the strange flu I had... Truth is I have been wanting to quit again for around 3 months as I reflected on all the different events leading up.. the writing has been on the wall so to speak... For about that long.. I was struggling and failing at moderation. Then I got to where I thought.. I'm just a drinker.. who drinks heavier then others. Yeah.. so... whatever!

.

Hi Choice,
Good Luck on your AF journey! I also started this quit when I had a little bit of stomach trouble.....and it was very easy to go without AL that night....(in spite of my vocal AV screaming that I would feel much better if I would have a drink!)

Since I made it through one day, decided to make it permanent! Just happened to have supplements on hand, including l-glutamine, which helps with craving......

85 days later, the AV has quieted from a constant ROAR to an occasional whisper......and things are getting much easier.
I am so happy to have had that stomach flu!
Hope your flu helps you on the AF path too!

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters,

Choice, so nice that you've joined us in the Nest. It looks like you can be grateful for that flu-bug/hangover, whatever it was that got you back on this AF path! I look forward to getting to know you better...

Lav, how are those chickens holding up in the cold? I know in the summer they get frozen peas.. do you have to do something special for them in the winter? Do they lay eggs when it snows or do they go on strike?

Byrdie, I hope your big meeting tomorrow is uneventful.. not boring, but not too much hassle! The Dr. Phil quote is great. Great question! Moderation never worked for me. No matter how many times I tried, no matter how many rules or promises I made, no matter how many different plans I had, eventually, usually within a very short time frame, I found myself deep in addiction and all the shit that goes along with it. Never going back again!!

Londoner, so good to have you back!! Stay close and honest.. Even though it might not feel like it, tomorrow is Day 7 for you which is great!

A New Page, 85 days is AWESOME! Good for you.. Just a few more and you get to join the 100 day club!

Hi Jennie (is it ok if I still call you Jennie?) the meditation app sounds good.. I'm trying to stick to my 20 minutes of morning meditation which helps me a lot when I don't fall back to sleep!

My parents live in Phoenix and they said it's a nightmare! with all the Super Bowl stuff plus the Phoenix Open golf tournament going on this weekend.. Glad I'm not there now! I was wondering why plane tickets were so expensive as compared to March..

Ok, off to eat dinner. Will check in with you all later.
Hope everyone is having an easy day..

[KENSHO]

Good morning! Last night was a challenge. But I made it through. It was a couple hours of feeling tired/yuck and wanting a "quick fix". But quick fixes are too good to be true - I would have regretted it so much. Once we settled in to eat, things got much better. Thanks to Ava, Beachgirley and Pav. I will look more into PAWS. I am familiar with it only as discussed here and I should research it more. Heading to the grocery store now - I know it's going to be a mess out there before the game. SO glad I refrained from participating with my friends. It would have been MAYBE one hour of guilty pleasure and a LOT more time of regret and discomfort and backwards slide.

[Overit-still]

good morning everyone! Just checking in.

[lifechange]

Good job, Kensho!! Enjoy your UN-hung, guilt free Sunday. Thank you for sharing.. it helps all of us!

Hi Over-it!!

[Pinecone]

Hi friends, just checking in. This is the busiest time of the year for me work wise. It is my favorite time of the year weather wise though. I love the cold clear days when the sun is up a little later each day. Getting out with my dog onto our little frozen pond and watching her chase the stick is big fun.

Glad to see you here, Choice!

[BeachGirly]

Way to go Kensho - I bet you have that proud feeling today.
I know I get that sometimes when I have had a busy day at work, and come home and not gone to the fridge right away.

Have a great day

[MossRose]

I hope I'm still welcome in the nest. I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around lately. I figure that's all the more reason that I need to post here.

It's beautiful outside right now. There's about 8" of snow on the ground and it's still falling. I have a wonderful dinner in the oven. Yet, I feel unsettled. Normally, I would be snuggled up on the couch with a good book, just relaxing. But I'm finding it hard to relax these days.

Mostly it's work. I have a problem. It's a big one. And I don't know how to solve it. It is a matter of integrity. But if I do the right thing, I may lose my job. I am divorced and have no one to lean on financially, so it's something I must weigh heavily when making this decision. But if I do nothing, I'm not sure I can live with myself. There are people depending on me to protect them.

So that's what's been on my mind lately. Sorry if I have taken out my frustrations here. But I truly feel that I'm in a no-win situation. I won't lie, I've had to fight hard not to take that first drink. I won't. I just won't. So, please wish me luck that I have the strength to do the right thing.

[Hanna]

Hi all. I have been reading the posts here going back a bit, and would really like to grab a twig and join you all. Although I had nothing to drink last night, I am not going to sat it was day one. I think I will not make it tonight. However, I know I need to accept the fact that I cannot drink, ever, in any kind of normal way, and need to commit to abstaining completely. I posted here a few days ago about the complexities of obsession with drinkingand weight, and the craziness that causes as hunger comes in to play as a trigger for me. Reading back posts, I realize many of you have struggled with eating,excersize and food. I also think many of you are of similar age and demographics, meaning only we likely share some of the same contexts for our issues. One of you was so kind to avail herself to me by phone, and the conversation was invaluable to me! I am hoping, and she has offered to talk more with me later this week.

Just wanted to kinda introduce myself a little, and look forward to being here, receiving acceptance and help, and hopefully giving back soon.

Sincerely,

Hanna

[NoSugar]

Hi, Hanna
Why not abstain tonight and already be on day 2? I guarantee you that AL is never going to bid you a fond farewell and go off quietly into the night. You have to kick his ass out the door and bolt it shut! You have already got him outside! Just lock that door and watch the Super Bowl or whatever and wake up to day 3 already! Gaining a day 1 is a battle. I sure hope you don't cash yours in!

Welcome to the Nest!