Newbies Nest

[Matt M.]

I hope I'm still welcome in the nest. I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around lately. I figure that's all the more reason that I need to post here.

It's beautiful outside right now. There's about 8" of snow on the ground and it's still falling. I have a wonderful dinner in the oven. Yet, I feel unsettled. Normally, I would be snuggled up on the couch with a good book, just relaxing. But I'm finding it hard to relax these days.

Mostly it's work. I have a problem. It's a big one. And I don't know how to solve it. It is a matter of integrity. But if I do the right thing, I may lose my job. I am divorced and have no one to lean on financially, so it's something I must weigh heavily when making this decision. But if I do nothing, I'm not sure I can live with myself. There are people depending on me to protect them.

So that's what's been on my mind lately. Sorry if I have taken out my frustrations here. But I truly feel that I'm in a no-win situation. I won't lie, I've had to fight hard not to take that first drink. I won't. I just won't. So, please wish me luck that I have the strength to do the right thing.

Moss~So great to see you~ With everything you just stated, wouldn't you agree that separating yourself from what has been instrumental in your recovery, a disaster? Please don't let the beast convince you that this place is the problem. He is pouncing on a weak state of mind.
Byrd, Lav, NS and other matriarchs in these rooms have been saying it time and time again. They have seen so many people go for whatever reason, only to return. You and I both know, that self willed ran riot that is going on in your head, is Al making us believe once again , that this time will be different.
You still have a fight going, that you can overcome. If not I believe you would have left without saying a word. I care about your success and your wisdom in these rooms. I know I'm relatively new to these rooms, but grew up in a house with an entire family of addicts and recovery. In my job I see the damning affects of addiction on a daily basis.
I'll leave you alone with that, and know it's heartfelt.
Please regain that hardness and stay with us

[Byrdlady]

Hey Hanna!
I know at least 2 dozen people who would give anything to get Day one behind them! Hang on to it as if your life depends on it....it does!

Over the years, we have seen a great correlation between eating disorders and alcoholism. You are certainly not alone here. There is nothing to gain by giving one more day to AL...you can trust me on that one. I lived every hard lesson this substance could throw at me. I resisted stopping until it almost took everything I valued. Dont give it any more power! Take your life back and AL be damned!

Great to see you Moss...wishing you strength in your decision at work. I dont have to tell you that AL will do nothing but constipate everything and land you into the arms of the GSR Brothers (guilt/shame/remorse). They suck. Thinking of you.

Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Yo!

Hope everyone is kicking arse in their own ini...inimi.....inimitable way.

Good to see you Mossy. For me in such situations, i can only do what i believe to be right. There is much power in following what we know is the honest and truthful path. Call me old fashioned, or crazy, but i also believe (through experience), that when we follow our truth, the universe somehow looks after us.

Monday morning here, and i can tell you the world is still revolving. Take it easy and think positive Nesters. G

[Guitarista]

I hope I'm still welcome in the nest. I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around lately. I figure that's all the more reason that I need to post here.

You bet you're welcome 'round these parts Mam. Love to read your posts. Keep up the great work friend.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

A day with no special plans always ends up super busy for me. Today I ended up watching my youngest grandson all afternoon. He got up at 5 am & started pestering his mother that he wanted to see me, ha ha! I ended up doing all kinds of cooking & baking & ended up feeding them all for dinner, of course!

lifechange, my chickens are on a partial strike right now. I'm lucky to get 5-10 eggs each day from 24 hens. Next month they'll go back into full production & my egg customers will be happy again. Can't mess with Mother Nature too much! I do feed them lots of high protein treats during these cold months to help them stay warm

MossRose, I'm sorry you are dealing with a difficult work situation right now. All the more reason to stay close, do your venting as needed, we are good listeners. I hope you can work it out to everyone's benefit.

Hanna, I hope you can give yourself a nudge & just do what you know you need to do! Trust us when we say that we've all been there. Taking that leap into the unknown is frightening but you will survive & you will be OK. As a matter of fact you will be better than ever! Taking back control of your life is downright empowering as many of us will attest. No regrets, no remorse & the rest of your life to live free from addiction is what you get! Make your plan & hop on the sober bus with the rest of us.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Good night, Nest.

Hanna - There's no time like the present. Just one day at a time, not forever. Wake up tomorrow and be on day 2. When I quit I lost 14 pounds and added a pint of ice cream a week! I generally ate better, fewer alcohol calories, and more energy to exercise. Plus, lots of exercise helps me relax and stay sober. They're all connected, and they're all connected, if you know what I mean.

Pinecone - your description sounds lovely. I live in Northern CA where it has been in the 70s with no precipitation for the whole month - starting to feel like Mad Max around here (guess I just dated myself).

Happy New Week.

Pav

[available]

Hi nesters

MR you can only do what is right for you. Is there not someone you can talk to that can help or give advice? I actually talked to my "village idiot" boss today about a work colleague who gets to work at whatever time suits her. I knew i had to think it carefully before i approached him as she is his favourite but he actually listened and was pissed off also. We bantered some ideas and hopefully they work. If she keeps doing it i will keep telling him how unacceptable it is for the rest of us. In my drinking days i would have simmered until i spewed forth with vitriole. I like this new logical me.

Hanna what you see in the mirror may not be what others see. My son told me i looked like a worn out crack whore before i stopped drinking. And here i was thinking i looked great. Now i may have gained a few kilos but everyone asks me what i have done as i look so good. I prefer the look good to the crack whore look. What we do share on here Hanna is that we are all alcoholics and we all want to get al out of our lives. Alcohol does not care about race, age, work, family, it cares not of who or what we are, al has no favourites.

[choice]

Hi Everyone! I've been looking forward to catching up here all day! Work was busy, and I was tired because I stayed up late last night really cleaning and organizing my kitchen.. getting rid of junky food and doing a healthy food overhaul. It felt great! Then today I picked up my new stand up paddle board from my friend who sells them. I have been wanting one for weeks! So I was pretty excited. I can't wait to go out in the bay for the first time tomorrow. It's summer here and SO hot.

I was offered a glass of wine at her house and I felt like my old self saying no. It didn't feel strange. I just said I had a tummy bug.. which is still true.. This friend could care less if I drink.. and has only really known me as a non-drinker... But I have had a glass or two with her in the past 10 months. I feel right now that my AF decision is my business. At this stage, my plan is simple...just keep saying no, and if someone gets curious and asks if I've stopped again. I'll just say yes, I'm wanting to feel healthier again.

I want my resolve to be strong and solid before I discuss anything. Mostly so I don't get flustered and upset explaining myself, or feeling weird when someone asks why? I could see this as a trigger for me (at this stage).. to drink alone later. A simple, and harmless question like that, has in the past made me feel uncomfortable in my skin... and I just don't need to feel that way.

SO, I figure its personal, and I only want to talk about it here in MWO. Pretty much everyone I know and hang out with now don't really drink.. or if they do it's not much. I appear 'normal' at the moment with them because they have never scene me drunk. I'd have 1 or two social drinks.. and on the way home grab a bottle. This time off the wagon I mostly drank by myself. But often it was after a social event. So it must be a trigger.

Except for my workmates.. they drink heavily and often. I started this job 6 months ago... I don't think I will have trouble here.. but I may.. So I need to be on my toes here.. For now I just don't need to hang out with them. And I haven't had drinks with them since the Christmas party.. And before that only twice before. So thankfully I haven't gotten into a drinking routine with them. Only way I see this as a problem is internal. My co-workers remind me of my past life where we worked hard and played hard. But I was single then and living pretty reckless. So.. my life style has changed but the addiction hasn't.

Wow! reading back at what I wrote. I sure seam concerned about what people are going to think. I have no idea why I would even care about that? Especially because no one is going to care. Something for me to think about tomorrow I guess! Does anyone else get worried about this? Why does it cause a bit of insecurity I wonder especially when I drank mostly alone. It doesn't seam to make since.

I'm relieved to be here in the nest. Thanks everyone!!! I really enjoy reading all the posts... the good the bad and the ugly. I hope those who are struggling are hanging in there and it's so nice to be surrounded by so many here who are doing so well!

[enzo'smom]

choice: enjoy the beautiful warm day paddle boarding!! I will be thinking of you out there on the water FREE of a hangover ….. think about that while you are out there…..If it were me and I was hungover, I NEVER would go paddle boarding (which is why i have never tried it - isn't that sad?) I will be hunkered down at home during yet another major snowstorm and it will bring a smile to my face thinking of you out there in the warmth and sea breeze…..

I have been thinking a lot about what to tell people when they notice I don't drink. This is running around in my head at the moment because on wednesday, there is a huge conference in the city where all the people in the industry I work with go and basically DRINK. Starting with lunch, then cocktail parties…literally dozens of them in one hotel that you can go to. THen dinner and then the after parties….It is really glutinous and rather disgusting if you really think about it. I am supposed to have lunch with a broker who gives me a TON of business. We do it every year. Two years ago, I was sober for the lunch. Last year I was not sober and do you know what he said? He said "I am so glad you are done with that non-drinking thing….you were so boring" I know, I know, I should not care what other people think of me because that is none of my business. And yes, he probably has a drinking problem but the catch is, he gives me a lot of business.

crap…..can't decide if I should go and face the litany of questions or if I should suddenly come down with a stomach virus…..

I am attaching an article I found about not drinking and the benefits to your body….this could give us all more reasons to tell people why we don't drink….I give you one caveat: it is not written for alcoholics….it is written for regular people but it is interesting nonetheless.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7891/why-i-dont-drink-alcohol-how-to-cut-back-on-booze-without-being-a-hermit.html

[Londoner]

That's tricky Enzo.

It's such a norm, that not drinking is seen as weird. And when it equals business the ante is upped further. And not drinking makes people question themselves. No one likes to get drunk alone when you're with a friend, right.

If you go, will you be able to hold of the drink for sure? Is it just the barrage of questions that is stressing you out?

Will you miss out on business if you don't go?

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Messy looking in my portion of the nest. Last night's snow has turned to rain, yuck.

jennie, why allow other people to question you? It's none of their damn business why you choose not to drink!
If you feel you have to say something just tell them the truth - you feel better when you don't drink! You're an adult, peer pressure should not be such an issue. Learn to say 'No thanks' calmly but firmly with a smile on your face then change the subject.

Wishing everyone a good AF Monday. Be safe if you're out in this nasty weather

Lav

[TJAF]

Lav, I'm with you. We don't owe anyone an excuse other than no thank you. I overthought the process in the past offering long winded excuses as to why I don't drink anymore... from health to not feeling well. I found that all that did was raise peoples skepticism. Better to just politely decline and if they rudely push the issue just tell them you don't feel like a drink.

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Off I go, into the wild blue yonder! Of course on the day of my flight, we are getting 65mph wind gusts with sideways rain. To think I spent all that time on my HAIR!

TJAF, thank you for that reminder as I am being lowered into a den of sin for the next 3 days! I don't owe anyone an explanation for MY not drinking...what if I turned it around and asked why they drink so much? BAH! I'd never do that (as I was one of them), but if it takes the pressure off me to think like that, then so be it. I appreciate that reminder of who's running things here, me or 'what other people think'.

I will be scarce this week but will find a way to check in! Hugs to all! Byrdie

[Hanna]

Good morning all. Just posted on the roll call, but wanted to put myself out here as well. I have made the 30 day commitment. Today is my day one. I had an incredible conversation this morning with one of you all and I believe, with the help of you guys here, I can do this. I am done with this noose around my neck. I am ready to get my body and brain back to health.

[Overit-still]

Good morning! Just checking in!