Newbies Nest

[Overit-still]

Pavati-a link to the Ted video please.

And anyone have the link for the Dr. Phil episode from the other day. Maybe not the episode from the other day but the link someone posted.

OH! and good morning!

[Orimus]

GMAE all.

Just checking in as I'm still working feverishly. Just a lot going on with work that past few months. Trying not to dramatize it - I'm really not drowning or being crushed. Just busy. Making lists to get more control back over things. And remembering to breathe for breathing's sake every once in a while.

[KENSHO]

Jennie, so glad you weren't on the train. What a shake up - so sad.

Hanna, just keep posting ok? Post when you are happy, post when you are a craving lunatic, post when you just want to say something silly. Someone can always help you talk through it. Awhile back a MWO patron did a study and found that those who posted regularly though their struggles were much more successful in their recovery.

Orimus, how true to just breathe. It's such a simple humbling thing to do to just focus on the breath - a basic survival behavior. I need to do it more often.

Upsetting news about a co-worker today. She died suddenly in her car from an aneurysm. 37, with a 3 yr. old. I am feeling glad to be alive. Any one of us could be gone tomorrow - why spend one more minute NOT living? Sobriety is like a breath of fresh air - seeing colors more vividly, feeling fuller and brighter. It takes a bit to get past the initial yuck of getting rid of AL, but it doesn't take long and everything begins to improve.

HealthybutEmpty, maybe you are needing SOMETHING in your life, but you know isn't alcohol Maybe it's a change of some kind? Are you bored or lonely or going through any challenges? Our brains have been trained to think that alcohol is the answer for any ailment. But then if we drink, we realize that we still feel bored or stuck or lonely or sad AND we have solved nothing - and are in a bummer of a place again. Is there anything you can put your finger on that is creating the desire for you to drink? I'm so impressed and inspired with your near year of sobriety. Do you have any old memories or journal entries you can pull out to remind you what you felt that day after the last drink when you told yourself you HAD to stop - that you were ruining your life - that you felt terrible? What changes have happened in your life since you have stopped drinking and are you prepared for them to reverse themselves? Have you read the relapse thread? If you don't ACTIVELY squash this voice, it will run and jump all over you and there are many people who don't ever recover from going backwards - and most say it gets MUCH worse, and in a hurry. It seems you came here because part of you wants to remain sober, but part of you wants not to - and I hope you throw everything you've got at it.

[crockettaa]

Hi everyone, I was here last winter and now I'm back. Tried some mods and some abs (the most was 2 weeks straight). Well obviously that failed. I recognize some of the names from last year. Looking forward to any inspiration anyone can give me at this point! I don't drink every day but when I do I just can't seem to find the "off" switch anymore...figured it was time to check back in here for some support.

[Pinecone]

Hi Crockettaa,

I like your avatar, it reminds me of where I walk my dog out on a frozen pond. Inspiration is to be found on this thread. I particularly like what Kensho just posted about sobriety being like fresh air. I like to think that we are the lucky ones, the ones who were able to wake up a little bit from the nightmare of constant drinking and being consumed by alcohol. That desire to be free is like a little flame in the wind. First we need to cup our hand around it and then look for ways to keep it going. Coming here to this site was the game changer for me. MWO offered me two things that were absent from all my isolated attempts to quit: TOOLS and SUPPORT. Tools are the actual techniques that are proven to work. The toolbox thread (found under the monthly abstinence section of the forum) is full of concrete strategies, principles and techniques. Support is doing what you just did, reaching out to others. Posting here helps others as well as ourselves, even if we feel like a mess at the moment. I'm glad you made it back!

Jennie, sending you support! What a tragedy.

Hannah, learning to distinguish that voice from the real me was a crucial element for me. NoSugar is right; do not engage it! Use Byrdie's "No, Hell NO!" out loud and then change directions. Keep repeating this and your quit "muscle" will get stronger and stronger. It is a liberating thing to feel that voice decline in intensity over time, but it really does happen.

[gambler]

Phew what a day. Just got finished painting a 44' sailboat and Im good for a long nights rest.

Thanks for the warm welcome backs guys

Pav- Yea..um..no I havent. I thought about meeting new peeps but I dont really have the time to invest in them. Between my new biz, my boys and some personal time I have none left. Its really only lonely for me when the little guys have to be dropped off at their moms. Its like I instantly start missing them. I know someday I should get used to it..just taking longer than I want lol.

Enzo- I just..dunno what to say. If I were to put myself in your shoes that would hit me like a 2x4 up top the ol' noggen. Its a real eye opener when something crosses your path with such tragedy.

Hanna/Beth- I dont know how to explain this..but its very warming just to see you write. You dont sound crazy lol..You sound like someone who is doing very well putting a plethora of mixed thoughts and emotions on cyber paper. .. .. I wrote a post about looking back on my early sober days and describing them as a "trip". Its a roller coaster ride for sure..but you will look back on these days and It will bring a smile to you. Its also Very empowering to recognize the personal path that you achieved at some certain point ( Im sure we are all different in this regard ). I wish you so much..and look forward to seeing the person to emerge from your extraordinary journey.

Crockettaa- Ok..on this inspiration gig.. would you like the Navy Seal type inspiration..or the Train that Could type thing .. cause Im sure we can do this either way. But seriously. Your hear because you know that its time for a change. We all know that you have it in you that would bring you such change. Plain and simple..you just Stop drinking. Its a mental commitment that you have to make SOLID to yourself. Sure you can "try" to quit..and end up failing every time. OR..you Quit. Thats it..Your done..no more. Nothing in front of it and nothing behind it. So in essence..you dont need inspiration..you need something that will make you make up your mind. So..make up your mind then.

Im sure I missed a few posts that I wanted to touch on..but really guys..Im beat up. 5 hours of spray painting a boat is about my limit for my mental fortitude. Wishing everyone safe in the nest and be good to yourselves.

Dave.

PS. I might be back after a short nap and some crunchies.

[Hanna]

Just keeping close to you guys. Witching time, but feeling ok. Just dad a small snack, taking the dog out and hitting the gym for a 5:30 class. Usually plan on this class and blow It off and drink instead. Meeting my husband for dinner right after the class for dinner and after that I should be ok.

I'll check in later. Hope everyone is having a good day

[See the Light]

See...anyone can do it...hopefully it lasts

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2015/02/wes-cage-quits-alcohol-cold-turkey/

[Byrdlady]

Checking in! All is good, meetings are over but we few stragglers are going to dinner shortly. It will be an early night tonight, Im pooped. Some folks dragged in today looking like 10 miles of bad road! So glad to be sober! Home tomorrow, Byrdie

[enzo'smom]

good stuff birdie!!!
I made the decision last night to put my sobriety first and canceled my conference meetings today. Then the horrific train accident made it easier not to go in since the trains were not running where I live. Instead of white knuckling through liquid lunch and cocktail parities followed by liquid dinner, I stayed home, went to office, went to two AA meetings and got my son packed and off to his ski weekend with his girlfriend's family (he is so lucky)
I am so relieved that today is over and that I am SOBER. I still have a lot of anxiety about the train accident. THey still haven't identified the dead or the injured and I have fear that I will know them….my town was the train's first stop so being that it was express, many people I know, including myself when i need to go to the city, take that train…. but this anxiety feels better than blotting it out with wine and then not remembering and not being able to react with compassion for people who are suffering because of this tragedy.
I am present and for that I am very grateful.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

There's just not much we can do after a tragic accident like that jennie. We can pray for the loved ones & hope the departed are resting in peace. There is no way to truly make sense of something like that.
Good decision to focus on yourself & your quit. You won't regret that decision.

Hanna, you sound about as crazy as the rest of us, you have plenty of company, LOL
This addiction is bigger than all of us & will suck anyone into it regardless background, education, money, experience. Great job sticking to your plan

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest!
Safe travels tomorrow Byrdie.
Lav

[Hanna]

Hello again

Enzo's mom...was that train wreck in westchester, NY? I am originally from there and lived there most my life.

Well, it is 8:30, I have had dinner, and can say I officially made day 3!!! I am very excited honestly. Well have a good evening all. Stay warm.

Beth

[Pavati]

Hi, all:

Hanna there have been some toddler references around here as a metaphor for that voice. If you give into it once, you're setting yourself up for months of tantrums - it will think it has a chance! The way I think of that voice is not to necessarily quiet it, but to disregard it. I don't drink. No amount of reasoning from that voice would change that, so I won't even listen. I think of my kids asking for something that is absolutely out of the realm of possibility - I don't even entertain it because I know it is impossible. That is how I try to think of drinking. I am not making a choice about whether or not to listen to that voice, I am not even entertaining it. I don't drink. The choice is off the table. In that fact is the freedom I feel after battling for so long about what, when, how much and with whom I would drink.

Wow did I have a totally frustrating and stressful day - and it was the setup for a long and frustrating time ahead at work. In the past, I would have said "I deserve a drink," and as a matter of fact, several people said as much to me today. I could have taken that as an excuse, but really the thought didn't even cross my mind. I thought of my current comforts, exercise and food! The food substitution isn't necessarily the best, but really what it meant was that I ordered pizza instead of cooking. And I am OK with that! I deserve a break, but I don't deserve to drink AT my problems (all of which are people).

Glad you're protecting yourself, Jennie - sorry about that accident. As one of the Bubble Hour hosts says it is really amazing how little we actually have control over.

Overit - I didn't have the TED link. And if you search on YouTube for doctor Phil mother alcoholic I'll bet you'll find the link. She was a newscaster, too. I didn't watch the whole thing, but man, talk about denial...

g'night all. Stay close - a good group to hang on to.

Pav

[KENSHO]

Rock on Pav. I mean, really. You're a rock. Solid. Thanks for the always inspiring posts.

Have a good night/morning - whatever, wherever you are - I'm going to sleep. Loooooooong day. Happy to be sober!

[choice]

Hi Everyone That train crash sounds horrible. Such a tragic thing. I always feel so sorry for the people and their families in things like this.

I'm pretty worn out this evening.. I went to the gym in the morning while my daughter was at the little daycare there... when we left she somehow she managed to lock herself in the car with the windows up, my phone and handbag inside.. It is summer here and SO hot. If I had the strength I would have pried the whole door off with my nails! I just felt like streaming until she was out. Long story short, 4 guys and 3 women later... we managed to fish the keys out with a wire and open the door. If I was still drinking, I would have let myself run with this stress and convince myself a much needed wine was in order for later in the day. She feel asleep on the ride home.. (luckily) as naps aren't always a given anymore, so I treated myself to a nap too. 2 hours! Whoohooo. Then we went swimming for a couple of hours.. I am zonked!