Newbies Nest

[Healthybutempty]

Back from AA. They didnt have an 11 month token, but I got my 9 month one I'm proud of myself and I just keep thinking that if i were to drink i could kiss my plans of going back to school this year goodbye. And i would regret it for the rest of my life, so im not gonna let that happen. ever. no matter how much i may want it. also, my bf saw how much drinking in front of me has started to affect me so today is his day one. I hope he sticks with it.

[daisy45]

Well done Okoren....amazing!
Totally peed off right now. My wee niece is IMO anorexic.......have read up and see that it normally roots from pschological issues. She lives with my mum. My sister, her mum, has anger issues which my niece has tolerated for years. I talked to my sis last night about loosening up on the control, hoping she would realise how serious this is.
Then today, my daughter picked the niece up from school and overheard a phone call from my sis to niece, bawling her out over something trivial. I am beside myself with rage. This child is overburdened with this overpowering mum. She admitted last night that the more control and pressure she is under, the more she needs to control the eating....not eating, that is.
The family dynamic is so complicated. I would take her in a heartbeat but she stays with mum where my sis is a constant, negative prescence.
Sorry, needed to vent....f****d off is an understatement!

[Pinecone]

Okoren, what a great post and congratulations on your 180 days. I think it is so important for those who may be just coming here to see how some AF time changes our lives. Living an AF life is the thing that allows us to make strides towards being who we want to be. Without that piece in place, everything is in decline. Great to hear how you are doing!

Hannah, not having to drink again is a huge relief! Imagine how great you will feel in a few days when you have conquered the whole week!

Daisy, that's very sad. I hope your sister can gain some perspective before too much damage is done.

[Byrdlady]

Just glancing right quick at the posts between flights....but if I can make it thru the booze infused conference without caving, I know you can!
Will elaboratw later, but I had NO pull to join in. It was a wonderful feeling! Keep racking up the AF days and you will achieve this, too! Hugs to all. B

[Hanna]

Ok. Just keeping myself accountable here. At around 2 this afternoon, a strong urge hit me. Not that I ever would drink in the afternoon, but that thought..."oh boy, am I looking forward to that 5 o'clock drink (s). It really scared me, because I KNEW, right then and there, that if I felt the same at the end of my work day, I would cave. I don't even think I would have come here first. Although the thought of having to tell you all after the fact really bothered me. I left my office and had a snack. Now I am fine. It is almost 5, and I feel ok, just scared...what happens the first time I feel that way at drink time??? I know day 4 is supposed to be a hard one, but still. When I get in that space in my head, my defense against the drink just sucks.

[available]

Oko congrats on 180 days and a great post. I sure do relate to those feelings and am so glad i am not in that place anymore.

Daisy you can only do what you can. If you get overwhelmed with this issue where do you think it will lead? It may just be out of your control and you just need to do what you can. We cant change other people, only ourselves. Be supportive of your niece but protect your quit girl. Stress is a huge trigger for us alkies. Thinking of you as it is hard to see a child suffering and a parent sticking their head in the sand.

Welcome newbies you all are doing so well.

Hanna you are the strong one, not al. Keep busy, keep on here. It is so good you are thinking of what others would think if you drank, that kept me going so many times in the early days. it still sticks with me now. Day 7 is such a great achievement, you can do it. one day at a time, dont think of what "maybe" could happen in a few hours, just take it minute by minute if necessary. As time goes on it gets easier, believe what the oldies say, that voice recedes in time, just stay determined and strong.

i have had a stressful week at work, i even thought of a drink so i could just bloody relax. Trouble with a work colleague thinking they are/were more special than the rest of us. I realised that i dont drink "at" anyone anymore and that no one will take my quit off me. I then decided that i would be sick for two days to remove myself from the situation. Work will not collapse if i dont attend and it is the best decision i made.

[NoSugar]

Hanna

What you're worried about is exactly what you have to work to avoid. If you allow that part of your brain to be in control, the choice, sadly, will be to drink. You have to keep your rational brain (the real YOU) in charge.

That is why you need a plan every day - why you have to not allow yourself to be hungry at 5 p.m. If a snack for you at 3 pm works, then that's what you need to eat every day. That is why you need to make an ironclad commitment to post here or talk to someone before you take a drink. At the beginning, you really need to have rules for yourself and you have to stick with them. You are re-training your brain to be that of a non-drinker. It requires a full out effort and commitment.

But the good new is - it doesn't stay so intense forever. After a few months, my immediate response to hunger wasn't to have a drink. It was to eat.

So please just psyche up for a regimented few weeks. This part won't last forever!

x-post, Ava - good to see you and of course, good advice!

[Healthybutempty]

Urge to drink is starting to subside. Having a cup of tea to try to relax for a bit. Going to try to make it to another AA meeting tomorrow. Wondering how I can deal with the cravings in a better way....I think I may need additional help with my underlying mental problems and find out why I felt the need to drink and use drugs. Especially lately I've started getting really paranoid/anxious/depressed/anti-social and have been isolating myself. Even though I have nearly a year under my belt I know this is a dangerous path, but I find it hard to change the way I think....

Hope everyone is having a good day/night.

[j-vo]

Hi Healthy,
I just read your post. I don't know where you live, but are there any meetings later tonight? Or maybe you could read through the toolbox. I just was reading that yesterday and thought page 21 was excellent. Hang in there. Sometimes when I eat something sweet and have a cold drink, the cravings subside.

[enzo'smom]

so my day started great….felt like my head was screwed on right after a turbulent week…..then I get to the office and everyone starts talking about the parties they went to yesterday in the city (work conference)….talk centered around how much everyone drank, what kind of wine there was, how the chardonnay was really good.
SHIT (sorry) Then I got really mad that I am an alcoholic and don't drink anymore….then I started romanticizing about have a glass of that chardonnay. YUK YUK YUK
then I thought it through thoroughly. There is absolutely NO SUCH THING as this alcoholic enjoying A glass of wine. One glass of wine would lead to another then another until I am smashed and pass out and wake up the next morning feeling horrible and not remembering a damn thing from the night before.
sorry for swearing…but I am angry at my feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't WANT to drink…..but I am still romanticizing about it. How insane is that???

[Healthybutempty]

It is insane but we all do it. I have been fighting those kind of thoughts all day. It is our alcoholic brains trying to trick us into believing we could just have one or control it this time but we know we cant! I just think about what would happen if I did give in and have a glass of wine. it would not stop there. ever. Just keep telling yourself that

[KENSHO]

Hi Jennie! It took awhile for the romanticizing to become less for me. But enough time away from AL somehow makes it easier to see it for what it really is, which is straight up BS. We here can't enjoy a nice glass of "x" by the fire... Do whatever it takes to get through this - think about hangovers, poor sleep, blackouts and anything else negative that AL has been for you. Have you done any reading about how poisonous AL really is - to everyone who drinks it? I found that helpful too.

[NoSugar]

Hey, Jennie

Replay those conversations using words like vegetables for wine and sauerkraut for Chardonnay - you'll see how ridiculous the whole thing is! It really makes me wonder how wide and deep our society's problem with alcohol really is.

One of these days you won't be angry that you can't drink but very happy and relieved that you don't need to.

Xx- NS

[A new page]

Hanna,
I guarantee you will get a very strong urge at drink time soon....it will absolutely happen. Best thing to do is anticipate it and get your defense lined up! For me, non alcoholic beverages and a snack worked wonders. I am the Queen of club soda these days. I probably have 10 12-packs in the house right now....in several flavors. When I get home from work I make a drink with fruit juice and club soda, and drink it down. Prepare a second one, and have a small snack, peanuts, cracker with spinach dip, cheese, whatever is handy!

That takes the edge off......and cravings only last 15-20 minutes.

Every time you beat one, you become stronger, and that little voice in your head gets weaker.....until it is just a whimper.......
You might have to white knuckle it a few times, but it it so worth it.

Just be prepared and you can beat the enemy within you!!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

After reading thru today's posts the first word that came to mind was Gratitude!
Turn off the AV, the BS spewing monkey mind & turn up the gratitude! It help me thru all those early days & weeks. You may not believe it now but I no longer have to deal with all that - it just goes away. I do continue to work on my gratitude each & every day

OK, I am so happy that you chose to take back control of your life when you did! Congrats on your 180!

Hanna, just hang in there, you are doing so well & will soon be celebrating one week AF. That's a big deal around here!

HBE, maybe you would benefit from talking to a professional. The extra support couldn't hurt. Good that you went to the meeting & got your coin. Keep your goal to go back to school forefront in your mind.

Jennie, I wouldn't be jealous about a bunch of grownups bragging about how much AL they consumed. When you really think of AL as the poison it is you almost have to feel pity for them. Be proud of yourself & stay on your plan.

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest!

Lav