Newbies Nest

[Healthybutempty]

Believe me its a decision I regretted. I couldnt even tell you why we both ended up there. I had alot of anxiety built up and had a lapse in judgement reinforced by my boyfriend saying he wanted it too. I am just so glad we both came to our senses and left empty handed (well, I came to my senses, he was kind of mad he couldnt get anything because i had all the money and walked out) when I woke up this morning I thought about how I would have felt if I did buy the wine I was holding in my hand. I realised it may have made me numb for a few hours, but when I woke up this morning I would have felt even more depressed for ruining 11 months of hard work and probably would have kept on drinking so i wouldnt have had to think about it. It would have led me nowhere fast.

So glad I made the right choice.

My doctor does know about my problems with addiction but she seems to think it would help with my cravings/anxiety/depression...but the last thing i need is a NEW addiction, so maybe I shouldn't take it....

Also asked my pharmacist about l-glut, she said theres been no proof it helps with alcohol addiction(thats not to say that it doesnt) but it has been proven to help depression and anxiety, (which is most of the reason i wanted to drink anyway) so Im seriously considering buying some as soon as i can afford it

I am very worried about my boyfriend's sobriety. He is on day 3 but he is using his own valium prescription to deal with the withdrawal symptoms, but he says he doesnt have enough to get him past wednesday, so hes saying he might "have to drink" which i am very worried/upset about. I just want him to keep with it but I don't know how to help him if its not what he really wants...

[Hanna]

Good morning nesters!

On day 6 and feeling good. On my way to the gym. Kinda tired as still not sleeping great, but that is getting a little better. Tonight my husband and I are going to a pot luck supper. One of his managers from his work put it together so it is kind of an obligation to go. Funny thing is, this will be a less difficult situation for me than you would think. As a secretive drinker, weekend nights became less of a trigger for me than other nights. My husband does not really drink, and he certainly does not want me to drink (although he may not have known the extent of my problem, he has known for years that I have a problem) so I am usually resigned to not drinking fairly often on weekends. Also, the dinner is called for 5. While that is my difficult time of day, it means dinner will be served early, which will help. Additionally, while some will bring alcohol (including my husband, who plans to bring a bottle of wine as a gift) he told me many of the 15-20 people coming are actually not drinkers. This being said, I will eat something light in the late afternoon. I plan to stay close to you guys in the next coming days...a little fearful of my once a month book club on Wednesday night. It is named " books and Bordeaux" so you can understand why.

Can't wait to get on here and actually have something to offer others. I am so "green". Not very easy for me to ask for help. Used to being on the other side. Feels safer there.

Well, have a great Saturday everyone. Off to the gym

Beth

[A new page]

Hi Hanna,
Congratulations on Day 6!!! Moving right along!!! The days do pile up.

It is good you have a plan and recognize where the enemy might pop out! And lucky for you to have a supportive spouse.....that makes all the difference.

Books and bordeaux? Cute but I find that I read & retain the information much better and even remember where I left off last night now that I am sober!! LOL!

Happy Saturday!

[A new page]

I think my AV devil is turning into an angel!!
Yesterday I had a very stressful time, that I was afraid might lead to a relapse.....
In the process of refinancing, and the evening before closing, the finance guy informed me that ooops I needed another $1000 in cash.....right now, and I even have to prove it is in my account, even though it is really NOT!! Hmmm what a puzzle that is.....
I was REALLY ANGRY and UPSET, and STRESSED, huge triggers for me....

Took a deep breath, asked myself, "this doesn't make you want a drink, does it", and my AV replied, "of course not, what good would that do?? You can't find the error drunk, now can you??? REALLY this happened....but maybe my subconscious?????

And yes, I found the error. They had charged me $1000 for homeowners twice.....

And nope, no drinking!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, everyone!

HealthyBE, there are a couple things that we, as alkies, dont do well. One is AL temptation and the other is peer pressure. You have both. I may have missed this, but is your BF getting some support for his quit? Why not get him on here also? He needs tools and support also. We cant do this alone, we can ALL atest to that. You came dangerously close to caving last night, that scares the spit out of me (for you). We cannot come that close too many times.
Lead me not into temptation. Dont put yourself in harm's way. Set a buffer around yourself and do not violate it. I do not go in liquor stores. I dont go down the wine aisle in the grocery store. I vowed never to buy or drink AL again and I havent.
Misery loves miserable company. I know you love your BF, but remember to secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others. Those early days are HARD and if he goes down, he is likely to want you to go down with him. This is human nature! Its the way we roll so it is nothing against him, but be aware. If someone else fails with us, then we are not alone. We see it ALL THE TIME on these boards. When one person falls, there is someone else that will get the F-it's and fall, too....and so it goes.
Urge BF to get some support of his own (whether its here or wherever). This is the fight of our lives and we MUST win, what ever it takes. Protect your quit at all costs, without it, EVERYTHING else unravels. Yes, everything.

ALCOHOL is the problem. I was amazed at all the other stuff that just resolved once I got AL out of my life. I got off 3 BP meds, stopped taking anti depressants, my acid reflux went away...even my eyesight improved. The fewer meds I took, the better I felt. My usual way of dealing with something was to pop a pill or drink over it...I wanted the quick fix. Take this to the bank, dealing with issues, thru means other than another substance is the way to go. I was fighting one drug with another drug, and another! Less is more. Yes, there are some times of anxiety, but do your best to work thru it. 'This, too, shall pass' is a great mantra. Give Time, time.

I am so glad you are here with us. Please keep yourself safe! This IS all about you! Protect your quit as if your life depends on it....because it does. Byrdie

[BeachGirly]

Hi Little Byrdy - glad to have you and your wisdom back in the nest.
So happy your meetings went well and you felt strong. Great stories and observations!

My BP has gotten better as well. I see Dr next week, and will ask her about gradually reducing the anti-depressants. Funny as you say, one pill to fix another thing. I too had acid reflux, issues with eyes, BP, anxiety... hmm, wonder what was causing all that???
I did have a very stressful year, with 2 parents very ill, my dad passing away, and my husband being diagnosed with CA. The anti-depressants were needed to help me, help them - but not the AL. Now that things have calmed, and there is no AL anywhere around, it is time to regain my balance and health.

This is MY year - I have told everyone that. :thumbsup:

[NoSugar]

I plan to stay close to you guys in the next coming days...a little fearful of my once a month book club on Wednesday night. It is named " books and Bordeaux" so you can understand why.

Clever name. But if it is anything like the book clubs I've been in over the years, it is a little heavier on the Bordeaux than on the Books. As each club I was in wound down it was because it had gotten to the point that few people were even reading the books - it was much more about the socializing and most importantly, the wine. In many ways, the book clubs were socially acceptable venues for overdrinking. One of them I was in met at the library so there was no drinking and that one disbanded the most quickly of all!

Avoiding temptation makes the beginning days of quitting so much easier so unless you're feeling absolutely confident that you will not drink, I sure would wait for a month or two if at all possible. I pretty much hibernated for about 4 months in my AF nest that I constructed in my home. I met my responsibilities to my family and job and other than that, pretty much did only what I felt like doing and didn't drink.

Can't wait to get on here and actually have something to offer others. I am so "green".

It might not feel this way to you, Beth, but by offering us the chance to help you, you help us. When I write to you or anyone else here, I'm also writing to myself, reaffirming what I've come to believe. That is why I think posting extensively at the beginning is so important to changing how you think about all of this. The more you write your concerns, ask questions, and type words of support to others, the more you are making this new way of thinking your reality. And given that none of us can completely leave our egos behind when we come online, it helps to put yourself in the position of not wanting to be seen as a hypocrite. After encouraging co-newbies not to drink, I sure as heck didn't want to come on here and say, Oh, I had a bad day and so I drank.

Not very easy for me to ask for help. Used to being on the other side. Feels safer there.

I suspect that is true for many people here. It certainly was for me. I don't think that that means people with this type of personality are more likely to become addicts but I do think it means we wait too long to ask for help. One thing that I've really appreciated is that the practice I got here asking/begging for help and not pretending that I was absolutely fine all the time has enabled me to be less large and in charge in real life - I've risked revealing more to the people around me and not surprisingly, that is a very good thing.

Hope you're all having a great AF weekend.

[NoSugar]

This is MY year - I have told everyone that. :thumbsup:

I think my AV devil is turning into an angel!!

Attitude is a huge proportion of what makes one person successful in this and another person not, in my opinion. I love reading your posts - you've both got that part of the program down. I'm so happy for you! xx, NS

[Marylou123]

So glad you're back Brydie. Missed you. So proud of you too. You have, and continue to be a HUGE source of support and inspiration. Thanks Brydie.

[Hanna]

Well, another day of success!!! Just got home from the pot
luck dinner. Had a low fat yogurt before leaving the house. While there was wine and alcohol punch there, very little drinking was going on with this group. Only tough thing for me was that besides the alcohol, there was only coke and sweetened iced tea. Not good choices for a crazy calorie nut. So I drank water, and was kinda bummed. However food was out quickly and after I had dinner, I could relax and really enjoy the evening. I actually enjoyed myself...a lot! Lots of laughter, and just a nice time. Gotta say, although the urges suck, and scare the heck out of me, it is only a small part of my day, and the rest of the day, I am so much better. This is so doable, as long as I can use the tools to get through those moments, where I feel on the brink of caving in. Gotta keep this in my mind at those moments.

Thinking about the book club. Will make a decision before, and won't go if I don't feel safe to do so, even if it will require a last minute migraine or stomach bug or something.

Have a great rest of the night. I am so excited to have a week on Monday. Am I thinking too far ahead? :happy2:

Beth

[BeachGirly]

Way to go Beth.
You are doing so well now that you have decided this is your path. You are sounding so much better and more confident.
Monday is very doable and you have a wonderful goal. I will be there with you on monday to give you a high five and cheer.

:goodjob:

[Lavande]

Late evening check-in for me!

I ended up keeping my granddaughter & she will probably be here until Tuesday - geez!
It's my way of 'helping' her parents deal with their 'new' 100+ year old house they just moved in to 2 weeks ago. They have a ton of work ahead of them & having a three year old underfoot is difficult.

HBE, I'm so glad Byrdie jumped in & said what she said to you. We really do need to keep our quits our #1 priority. Of course you want your boyfriend to succeed but he needs to make his own plan, right? Wishing you both the very best & I'm glad you did not buy the wine. The L-glutamine will help reduce any sugar cravings you may have in the beginning but you are almost a year AF & probably don't need help with that. Perhaps some for your boyfriend?

Hanna, great you made it thru your pot luck dinner unharmed!

Must get some sleep - tomorrow my two grandsons will also be here!!
Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[peppersnow]

Hooray for you, Daisy!!! You WILL get it, I know, because you know what to do and you have 4 beautiful motivations. We can't turn back the clock, but it's never too late. That much I know is true. I'm cheering for you!

(and everyone else, too -- Hanna, sounds like we have a lot in common!)

[Mick]

Well, another day of success!!! Just got home from the pot
luck dinner. Had a low fat yogurt before leaving the house. While there was wine and alcohol punch there, very little drinking was going on with this group. Only tough thing for me was that besides the alcohol, there was only coke and sweetened iced tea. Not good choices for a crazy calorie nut. So I drank water, and was kinda bummed. However food was out quickly and after I had dinner, I could relax and really enjoy the evening. I actually enjoyed myself...a lot! Lots of laughter, and just a nice time. Gotta say, although the urges suck, and scare the heck out of me, it is only a small part of my day, and the rest of the day, I am so much better. This is so doable, as long as I can use the tools to get through those moments, where I feel on the brink of caving in. Gotta keep this in my mind at those moments.

Thinking about the book club. Will make a decision before, and won't go if I don't feel safe to do so, even if it will require a last minute migraine or stomach bug or something.

Have a great rest of the night. I am so excited to have a week on Monday. Am I thinking too far ahead? :happy2:

Beth

hiya beth...well done you.......well chuffed ...first week coming up....as you say use the tools when you feel like caving...we all did in one way or another....:yay: you can do it...

[Pavati]

Hi,

Way to go, Beth! Next time take a bottle of something for yourself. I like to bring the grapefruit Perrier. Delicious, low cal.

As for being "green," NS said a lot but also remember there's someone behind you no matter where you are, so
you are always helping someone by posting how you get through.

Posting from my phone. Too hard. Good night!

Pav