Newbies Nest

[Resolve]

Funny how timing is everything as I was just sitting down to post and saw the illness comments. Been feeling flu-like for the past day, and though not thrilled with going downhill, it's ok. I've learned to deal with something far bigger than a temporary illness, and am still learning on a daily basis, so a few days of discomfort is no big deal. Although I do seem to get sick more lately so there is a part of me that wants to shout - I'm sober already, can I not be sick too?! And in the past it used to really piss me off to get sick heading into a weekend where it would interfere with my serious drinking time.

Illness aside, I'm feeling very grateful where my headspace is these days and I want to shout out some gratitude to this thread in particular. Many months ago, in far warmer weather, I thankfully landed here by the grace of google. I looked at other sites at the time but something seemed different here, the people more responsive and connected. I've pushed my thoughts into directions I didn't think my mind would allow, learned behaviors I didn't think I could follow and listened when I felt like screaming. I get motivated by others here and feel good when I see how quickly we can change in a short period. Maybe I had become accustomed to being jaded, or drunk, and forgot that people can be kind and supportive. I've experienced several awakenings of late, and though under the weather at the moment, I haven't felt this well in years.

Someone here described what we have as a manageable problem, one that requires awareness, maintenance and planning. It's been a journey to distill this into what feels like somewhat of a methodical approach once you get a little time under your belt. There are ideas and thoughts that may take some time to digest, at least some did for me, but eventually things start to gel. And it seems that once it gets going and you're all-in, it comes quickly with more of those now I get it moments. I've often thought that all the ingredients are here, it's a matter of following the directions and see what happens. Thanks for helping to make it happen.

Be well this weekend!

[gambler]

Howdies MWOers

Yea Ive been absent the past few days..but good news is that Im making great headway on this large project. Basically come home..eat..fall asleep watching M.A.S.H. Wake up..do it all over again lol. I had the boys yesterday and went full tilt on having a blast. Petey is warming up rather nicely to his new family ( and his scratching post finally ).

Stevo- Sure am glad to hear about your new prospect. Bummer that money can sometimes make us feel that the world around you is in a vacuum. Keep your head up and be positive.

I wish I could hang out more but I skipped lunch and the cat is very much requesting my attention

Peace out y'all

[actiongirl46]

What a great encouraging post Resolve! Thank you. I'm drinking hot tea and having a bagel. Watching it snow. I don't feel "sick" but I am absolutely exhausted. Very sleepy and I already snuck in a nap today. I think from reading Hanna's posts this happened to her as well. I did not sleep well last night but its ok. Tonight I'm going to stay in, make my family a nice dinner, and hopefully watch some Netflix. I have work deadlines that I didn't meet today but I am afraid if I go back and work after dinner that will be a trigger, so I am just not going to do it. Hang tight everyone!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters & YES it is cold here on the east coast - seriously cold!
I hope my poor chickens make it through - they are tough girls so they should be OK.

Resolve, even after all this AF time I still have moments, each & every day where I stop & thank the universe, the gods & everyone for my sobriety. It is something I worked hard for & will care for & cherish forever. Nothing will change my mind about my decision to live AF

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Hanna]

Just a quick hello to all. Had a very busy day and couldn't even get in here to catch up. Made it through the week, and feeling pretty good. On to day 13 tomorrow. Yea! Sorry for those of you under the weather and hope you are feeling better soon.

Action, sleep was very tough for me the first few days, but is getting much better now, and boy do I love going in to my bed and getting cozy! That's a treat.

I have had so many thoughts as each day brings me more and more insights. I look forward to sharing some of them here soon.

It is pretty darn cold here in south florida, so I can only imagine how much colder it is elsewhere. Stay warm all. I hear another snowstorm is coming to the northeast. Cuddle up!,

Night all

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

I've been a bit MIA here lately - so much going on at work and with my kids. I have been reading but have a hard time posting on my phone...

Jennie- Re: your "who am I fooling" post (yes, I know you're over it by now, but it reminded me of something I wanted to say). A key aspect of my sobriety has been willingness. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - have the desire to quit (not necessarily the opposite of wanting to drink), and be WILLING to do what you read and hear that you must do to stay sober. I followed people around her, read what they suggested, and just trusted what they said - that eventually I wouldn't want to drink any more. And lo and behold - here I am. I get "thoughts" of alcohol that I wouldn't even say are cravings, and I find myself a little unforgiving of myself, but basically I am SO happy that I don't drink. I was at a conference this weekend and one guy was SO hungover one of the days that we could all tell just by looking at him. Puffy, red eyes, etc. I was SO grateful that I didn't feel like that and won't feel like that again.

13 was not my magic day, just FYI - I don't want anyone getting frustrated if that isn't it for them. I was a bit slower with the uptake and spent some amount of time feeling sorry for myself. So glad that's over, too.

More time for posting later in the weekend.

Happy SOBER Friday, all.

Pav

[enzo'smom]

I used to "believe" my drinking hurt no one, including myself. I chose to "believe" that. (silly me)
Now, I BELIEVE what you say …. that eventually, I won't have these moments when I "want" to drink. Yes, I am now very WILLING. That is the key.
When I came in here for a duration of time last time, (NS had just come in as well) I thought I was willing….but I see now that I really wasn't. I was thinking of goals…..reaching 100 days and beyond. I wasn't changing anything about my lifestyle except that I didn't drink. I did not fill up that obsession with something else except for the obsession NOT to drink……now I see that is NOT ENOUGH for me
So my addiction lay dormant for about 4 months, but it was STILL THERE waiting. I would go out to dinner with my husband and have a sip of his beer. That is when it started. Just a sip, what could that do I thought……and then low and behold, I passed 100 days….I reached my goal!!! (this is why I don't count my days) soon thereafter, I had "just one glass" of wine. within a week, I was up to a bottle a night again.
So this time, I am not setting any goals. This time, I am focusing on the process. This time, I am changing my lifestyle ….. I am meditating everyday. I am calling my sponsor every day. I am reading and thinking about a higher power…and now I think I am getting it…..

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Cloudy & cold with snow promised for this afternoon ~ swell.

jennie, I am happy to hear to you have reached true acceptance & willingness to walk away from AL forever. You will never regret your decision

Pav, we will be just fine provided we recognize those thoughts as 'just thoughts' & dismiss them as soon as they enter our heads!

Wishing everyone a good AF Saturday!

Lav

[frances]

Morning everyone! I was so happy that I didn't have to set the alarm and could sleep late this morning. Sitting here well rested with my cup of coffee and trying to plan what's in store for today.

Enzo's mom I was like you before too, set my goal, and then as soon as it was reached, planned to moderate, but went right back to drinking too much, too often. This time, I know better. My life is so much better without alcohol, I will not let it ruin me again.

I was driving the other day and glanced at myself in the mirror and thought, wow, my eyes are clear! For so many years my eyes were almost always tired and bleary and every single day I used visene. No longer! Just another benefit of being AF! I was also thinking yesterday about how I never felt normal until I had a drink. I was just barely getting through the days and I felt 'off' until I could have the relief of a drink. Nothing felt right until I had it; it was an obsession. A daily, and sometimes multiple times a day (like on weekends) obsession. The drink brought relief from the obsessive thoughts of getting a drink, but then always progressed into more and more and more. And then the next day would come and I would feel terrible and hungover and my body and brain were f'ed up. Every day. It really feels fantastic not to have those chains anymore. I still get amazed at how wonderful every day is without alcohol.

[Hanna]

Good morning nesters. Day 13 here. Woke up feeling good. Getting ready to go to the gym and start my day. Here are some of the thoughts I have been having. In many, significant ways, I think I am in a very different place in my view of alcohol than I ever have been. I see not drinking as a gift. I am able to say "I don't HAVE to do this anymore" ? Rather than "ugh I need to quit" . I used to wake up and really truly believe I did not want to drink anymore, but what I wanted was to be able to not suffer the consequences. That is an important difference, I see now. Now, I truly embrace being a non drinker. Ok that being said, the terrible thoughts that come at drink time still strongly try to convince me otherwise. So far I have been able to do the things I need to so I can ride the craving. bTW I love that saying, because it distinguishes "fighting" or arguing with a craving, which I probably won't win, from just ignoring it and doing something else to help get throught. Anyway, ignore though I try, my craving is so powerfully telling me all the reasons to drink. Yesterday it said to me ( yes, it not myself) " fine, so you won't drink today but you know you will after (insert date here ) . Once the craving passes, my mind is right back to morning mode, and I am so grateful I did not drink.

Ok. Just some thoughts. Have a great Saturday everyone.

[NoSugar]

You sound different this time around, Jennie :hug:.

At the beginning, short- and medium-term goals are great but I try to think of them like birthdays or wedding anniversaries - they are milestones to celebrate, not finish lines! My husband and I will have been married 35 years later this year and I'm eager to celebrate but not to be DONE :smile:.

I liked counting days through 100. Once I hit that, I knew I would do whatever it took not to see single- or double-digit AF days again. And the longer your brain has to heal, the easier it gets until it becomes your new normal.

[Byrdlady]

Hanna, I am so proud of your progress! ALL of this is a mindset, as you have heard us say. That SHIFT in thinking makes all the difference! It's a series of little things, as you say. I found great strength just knowing that all I need to worry about is THIS day. It worked! Another one was 'What good is ONE drink going to do me?' 'I can have anything in this world today except one...I can even have pretzel M&M's' This was new concept for me, since I was drinking so much, I was hardly eating. Trying to stick to 1400 calories or less is difficult when 90% of then were from booze. Being MINDFUL of what I was eating was a whole new experience. When I sat and ate that cookie, I really paid attention to it (as if it were a wine tasting!). 'There is no finish line in this race'. 'This, too, shall pass'. These are just some of the things I repeated to myself that helped.

All I know is this, I've seen a LOT of people come and go from this place...the ones that keep AL OUT are, hands down, the happiest. Thats all I want and getting rid of AL was a pretty small price to pay. I had NO idea the toll it was taking. It was affecting every single aspect of my life (but I couldn't see it at the time).

Keep up the great work, everyone! You will never regret a day you spent sober! Happy Valentines!! :heartbeat:

[Pavati]

Morning,

Love this, Hanna:

I see not drinking as a gift. I am able to say "I don't HAVE to do this anymore" ? Rather than "ugh I need to quit" .

An idea I got from 3J - If only one, why not none? I NEVER wanted just one. I sometimes had just one, but I always wanted more. Even way back. Another reason to not even entertain "moderating."

If that craving hits, come right here, Hanna - someone will be here to talk you through it.

Pav

[Elvis]

Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you get to spend the day with the ones you love and those who love you. Remember, you don't need to drink that glass of wine, or anything else, with that romantic dinner later tonight to have a good time!

[Healthybutempty]

Hey hope everyone is having a great valentines day.
I am still sick and my bf is on his 3rd day with no drinking so I doubt we will be going anywhere tonight.
Watching a documentary on youtube by national geographic called drugged- High on Alcohol and it is reminding me why I quit drinking. Has anyone seen it?
Have a happy af valentines day