Newbies Nest

[Guitarista]

Hi y'all.

Enjoy the doco HBE. Not sure if i've seen that particular one, but i've seen many and most have been worth it for the reminder and to strengthen my focus.

Well, i've had a nice Valentines date. Just me and my guitar. Music is my mistress, and my guitar is the other woman.

The weekend ain't no free ticket to boozeville, k? k.

Have a bewdy out there and think positive. G :heartbeat:

[Turnagain]

Reading here and seeing such life-changing progress fills me with gratitude, hope and pride. Breaking free of addiction isn't for sissies - we are powerful people who are reclaiming our brain power one synapse at a time!

Happy AF V day to all!

Laura

[enzo'smom]

I was doing so well earlier and then my husband said he wanted to make a nice dinner for me. Isn't that wonderful?? Yes, but I don't want it and it took me a couple of hours to figure out why. Of course, once I did figure it out, I felt stupid for not realizing it right away….having a special dinner with my husband is a TRIGGER. The thought of it without wine is playing tricks on me…..What to do? I will simply explain it to him and hopefully he will understand…..I will eat the dinner, but I don't want all the fancy candlelight, etc.
Am I terrible?

[Byrdlady]

Jennie, I try to remember that life is measured by the people and moments...not whats in my glass!
As that song says...ACCenuate the positive...E-liminate the negative and dont mess with Mr In Between!
When Al tries to pull the romance card with me, I remember that isnt how I drank...I drank in desperate gulps from a hidden bottle in my closet, not Lady-sipping from a glass. Dont fall for it, its a trick!

However, if you dont feel up to it, decline! Is he on board with your quit? Hugs dear lady! You are doing great!!! Xoxox, B

[Turnagain]

Hi Jennie Enzo...

Our T-Byrdie is right on in reminding us to accentuate the positive! You've done a great job of identifying a powerful trigger which is 90-percent of the battle. And now that you have clearly seen that coming, the question shifts to - how do you handle that? No matter what strategy you use to deal with the trigger tonight, celebrate this as a victory because you are making a positive, proactive choice. Give yourself some well-deserved credit for flagging this and figuring out your strategy. :yay:

Many of us tend to interpret triggers as a sign that we're doing something wrong in our recovery. BUT it's quite the opposite in reality. Every trigger is an opportunity to do some essential brain retraining. You've made some shiny new neural connections between the ears and which will make it easier to deal with the next trigger. Before you know it, the lingering drinking cues have been smushed into submission and when the random trigger happens to pop back up...you'll discover that it's shriveled to the size of a lonely, nearly microscopic gnat and you'll flick it away with ease and authori-tay!

[actiongirl46]

Bewitching hour! Just caught up with my friend at our local hangout. Read on here BEFORE I went and now I just got home. Had a wonderful Faygo Orange Soda. I haven't had one of those since I was a kid and it was GOOD. I also had a very nice time catching up with my friend and everything was just as enjoyable, if not more. Home, hubby is cooking, I AM GOING TO MAKE THIS DAY 4.

[Hanna]

You go action!

Well today was an easier day in regards to cravings. I actually tend to do better on weekends. I am usually with my husband, making it harder to sneak, an usually I would come up with some excuse to not be with him in the late afternoon, such as going to get my nails done, so I could buy my fix. On days I did not drink, weekends were easier because we actually tend to eat dinner earlier, unless we had plans. Mostly, my husband has a later breakfast and no lunch, so dinner by 6 is more the norm. Anyway, it is 7 and we are already home for the evening.

I was thinking today...in the past, when I attempted to quit, I often felt the need to do certain things the same as when I was drinking, such as take the same amount of money out of the ATM, even though I didn't need it. I thought I was doing this to protect my husband from seeing the difference, and tying that to drinking. I think now, I did that to protect myself from him noticing the change when I relapsed. Don't know if that makes sense to you guys. This time, I am just doing what I am doing, and not worrying about it. I did not run off at 4 for some sort of errand, for example.

I will admit to feeling some frustration, in that while I don't want to go back to the misery of drinking, I really dislike the daily discomfort I feel at the witching hour, even on better days. Kinda like, either choice, drinking or not, is not ideal, even though drinking is the worse option. I have to keep telling myself that this will get better. I don't even have two weeks under my belt. Guess I have to have patience, not my best virtue.

Anyway, not complaining. Just sharing. Today was nice, and we have a rental movie " the good lie" I think it is called, to watch. AND I will be able to follow it and remember it!

Wedding tomorrow night, but i actually think it may be sans alcohol. Either way, it won't be a drinking crowd. I am mentally prepared and not too worried about this one.

Happy Valentines day all!

[daisy45]

Hi all....past midnight and I am not long home...
Up and out to a rally in our town to help save our hospital....and I got on TV! My claim to fame. Had a fun day...there was a really good band at the rally and I found myself dancing up the street...much to my daughters embarrassment! The thing is, I was having a real laugh and you would not find me doing anything like that unless I was drunk....I have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of....I remember it and was just fun!
Then out to my sisters...my niece and nephew had a party bus booked. My sister had a few drinks and went into the bus and done a few moves pole-dancing for the teenagers. Don't think I'll do that ....no matter how sober!
Anyways, just a quick pop-in. Up and away to Dublin in the morning so won't be checking in until Monday. Meeting up with my cousins from New York...home for a couple of days.
Hope you all enjoyed Valentines day.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I spent most of the day with my grandsons - what more do I need?

Hanna, patience was never my greatest virtue either but I promise you - it will get better & easier very soon. Just hang in there & wait, honestly!

jennie, you can do whatever you want to do, just don't drink. This is the time to forge new pathways. You can still enjoy a nice dinner with your husband, just leave the wine out. Don't make such a big deal out of it, you'll see

Daisy, have fun in Dublin! I was there in June 2003 & had a great time, drank very little by the way.

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[enzo'smom]

thanks everyone!! dinner was delicious…..I could have strangled my husband when, right before sitting down for our meal, he said "do you have a drink?" not "do you want water"…..ahh well…..he is a civilian after all….he knows not what he says. It was wonderful and I love him and I love him a lot more when I am sober!!!!
Have a great night all…..
making myself some camomile tea and watching my favorite new netflix series: The Fall

[Lizann]

Have posted on other threads today but feel like I need to visit here again as I had an epic fail this week. It was pretty bad and the family is very upset and don't know what to do with me anyone. Just another disappointment according to them. They are asking if I'm not embarrassed by all this? Duh, um yeah! So back to square one. My one sister is relentlessly hounding me. I guess that's what you call running an intervention? Just feel like I need to stick close here for awhile.

[KENSHO]

Making my way through the day, though I'm really upset at my husband. He's such a 12-yr. old sometimes. He wanted to drive to another city tonight just because he has a sore throat and wanted to numb the pain with his favorite margaritas. I used to be game, but we ate there last weekend and I'm tired of their food. SO he wanted to stop at a brewery. At 2:00. To "sample their craft". I see through all of it as bullshit now. But we stopped and he actually said "When are you going to lighten up and have a beer?"

Really?!? Are we still here?? I'm so mad I'm seeing red. Couple that with some really inconsiderate statements. When he is sick, he regressed to childhood and says stupid hurtful things. I don't want to be around him now, so I'm going to watch a kid show in the bedroom with the kids and a nice cup of tea. Sometimes I'm just so tired of this issue.

[Turnagain]

ah...Jenzo and Kensho.... Bravo to both of you for withstanding such a challenge to your AF life. I can relate to this as my hubby is still a drinker. It was tough and sometimes unnervingly tempting in the earlier phases of my quit to have to deal with variations of the 'just one won't hurt you' chatter from friends and some family. Hell yeah, one will always hurt. And as I've discovered, it actually hurts them, too. Even if they're not addicted. Yet.

Tonight, my hubby will have his wine pairings plus some James Bond type of toxin with the dinner and I will be quite content with my lime in the water. He will gurgle too much of that shit and then be all smug about his 'designated driver.' He doesn't know I am going to make him go to Walmart afterward. LOL. He HATES that place. But hey - my keys - my rules and mama needs Valerian to sleep through the drunk snoring tonight.

And yes, Kensho...some males are super-whiny-baby-men when they're ailing. You did the right thing by removing yourself while heated. Here's a little something that I hope takes away any red you have left and gives you a little chuckle. Thanks to the google, I found a graphic of a poster for you that I saw about 20 years ago in someone's office. Click to enlarge.
999_001.jpg

[Dottie Belle]

Hanna a wedding on a Sunday night?? Just have a plan if there is booze and stick to it...it is doable for sure!!

[Hanna]

Hanna a wedding on a Sunday night?? Just have a plan if there is booze and stick to it...it is doable for sure!!

Yes Dottie. Guess they chose it because of the long weekend? Don't know. It is my friends daughter. Starts at 5. I imagine over by 10. I'm ready for it!