Newbies Nest

[Mr Vervill]

Ok, Who's got the butt velcro? Can you pass me some?
Need to stay close, fell far from the nest.
It's 4 pm and still sick from last night's debacle.
Starting over
Mr V

[Samstone]

MR V!!! so glad to see you're back. Stay close and stay strong.

Londoner, one of the many advantages of staying sober is that one does get to see the world around him/her. It is like your peripheral vision comes back and you can see all around this great amazing place we all live. Sally forth, friend!

[available]

So glad to see you with some great af time London. One day at a time is all we can do, i still do that now after a year. We are thrown so many things at us daily and its learning to deal with life sober that is the challenge. Emotionally we have a lot of challenges to face sober but it can be done. I know i cant and wont turn to the bottle to take the challenges away, it is much better to face them head on and sober. Sure its hard but life is hard sometimes.

I lost my best friend which was al over a year ago, i have grieved the loss and now i have moved on. Now i think back, al was not my friend, he did not do me any favours at all. I have some fun memories before my bf took over my life and made it a total misery but I know i am in a happier place without him. Al cant come back in as he is dead to me.

Welcome V, keep on here like a lunatic, being left to our own devices is not good in alky world. You can do this and you never have to feel like total shite again. I honestly dont miss the hangovers, i actually cant remember what they feel like and i never ever want to again.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Unbelievably cold in my portion of the nest! Brrrrr!!!! I do believe we are breaking weather records & everything, ha ha!

HBE, I have a major interest in RA treatment modalities as my Mom had it back in the early 80's. The meds back then were few & far between. Methotrexate didn't help her much. I have a friend who is being treated now with Plaquenil & is doing OK. Have you looked into the newer biologics like Xeljanz? I sure hope you find some relief soon. My daughter doesn't have RA but she has a lot of joint pain & has found going gluten free to be a big help.

actiongirl, be sure to wake up clear headed & proud tomorrow on day 6! You can do this

Byrdie, that stomach virus put my oldest grandson in the ER one night last week. He was so dehydrated he had to get some iV fluids. Take care of yourself :hug:

Hi there NG & Londoner!
Welcome back Mr V. Stick around this time - it's safe here.

Hey Sam. what's going on?

Wishing everyone an extra safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Lizann]

Thanks guys for the good advice! I will sit down tomorrow and make a list, write it down and keep it with me. Went to lunch today with the family and actually didn't even miss the al. My sister checked my water bottle in the car to make sure it was really water. I will check the tool box and continue to check in here. Thank you guys. Off to bed as I have the startings of a headache.

[Lizann]

Action girl yes, let's do this together. I need as much help as I can get!

[Hanna]

Hi all

Well, made it through a tough week. Just got back from a wedding. While my brain was not screaming at me (I actually do worse on the days I am stressed and by myself during the week) it was difficult. It was a lovely affair, all black and white, amazing band with 4 vocalists etc, it really was an upscale Saturday night wedding held on a Sunday night. After the ceremony was an hour long cocktail hour with champagne passed on silver trays and an open bar (which lasted throughout the evening). During the main event, prior to dinner being served my husband and I got up to dance. When we sat back down, everyone had a glass of champagne poured for them (for the toasts). So, I had to stare at that bubbly sparkly glass for the rest of dinner.

Interestingly, right after the ceremony, when the cocktail hour started, I said to my husband "I need something cold to drink" at which, he pointed to the champagne...what?? I know he knows how hard I am trying, but maybe he doesn't realize I am committing to drinking nothing? He hasn't said anything yet, and I kinda wish he would mention he notices hoe good I am doing. But, I am not going to say anything to him. I figure he ha put up with me over many years, and although I see this time as very different, he probably can't understand that. I guess as time goes on, he will realize how serious I am. I plan to stay the course.

Anyway, completed week two, and very happy.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

[actiongirl46]

Hello - Day 5 is in the books! Thanks Lav, I will wake up clear headed. I am grateful I posted this morning as today was pretty difficult. I kept having to consciously add more weight to the gratitude side of the scale to out do my mind trying to trick me to focus on the deprivation side.

There were many many things to be grateful for today. My newly washed jeans fit perfect. I bowled a game with my sons instead of sipping poison and insisting on being on the sidelines. I had several very real quality conversations with them that I may have missed if I was stressed (which I was due to work) AND drinking. Then, I worked late and was able to make a huge dent in my deadlines.

One thing that helped me today, if it works for anyone else, is pretty silly. We have a large lab/golden/germanshepard mix who is smart and playful. A phrase I use with him if he grabs someone's shoe or the remote is "Not yours!". I'm trying to pair that phrase in my head when I see an AL commercial or AL in the store, etc. AL is just not for me, not mine. I'll let you know if it works, worth a try!

I want to keep going. I am learning and trust you guys that this will get easier but never perfect. Liz, I still need a long term plan so I'll focus on that too. But for now, I will plan for Day 6.

Thanks all - Action

P.S. Hanna, I am in the same boat as far as conversations with hubby. I think he is in "wait and see" mode and I get that. Let's do this!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Reporting in from a frozen portion of the nest - 0 degrees here, yikes!!! And we have a promise of snow tonight & tomorrow, oh well.

Hanna & Actiongirl, glad to hear you both are hanging in with your plans - great work
Lizann, definitely get that plan together today, you won't be sorry!

Wishing everyone a good AF Monday!

Lav

[Healthybutempty]

Hey everyone. Woke up so stiff this morning I can barely move any part of my body! I was prescribed methatrexate injections for a while but they started hurting my liver so I am currently on plaquinol but it has not been working at all, so I am excited to talk to my rheumatologist to hopefully start something else.
Day 352 here there is SO much snow and ice here and it is like -12 !!!!! (I dont think thats even with windchill!) I dont want to go outside >< but I know I really need to go to a meeting....Ive missed alot already due to being sick/sore/the weather I can't make any more excuses! Especially with how ive been feeling recently.

Hope everyone has a great AF (and not too cold) day!

[actiongirl46]

Good morning all! Happy AF Monday. I'm planning on adding exercise to the bewitching hour tonight. Fill up that gratitude side of the scale!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning Nesters.
LizAnn, I grabbed this out of the Tool Box for you....It's my 'I have a Plan Speech'. Hope it helps.

Whatis a Plan?
I heard about this thing called a Plan, and I HAD plans, but I wouldn'tcall it a PLAN, as such....it was more of a HOPE. A GOAL, even. A PLAN sounded way too formal for this thing I was embarking on...after all, what if I failed? Hope is NOT a strategy. Get yourself a PLAN.

#1 Failure is not an option. When you think you are going to fail, guess what? You FAIL! Wrote the book on this one. Get your mind into a mode of THIS WILL BE DONE. Don't be willy-nilly, or your willy will get nillied. Your mind is your best friend and your biggest enemy. Control IT and you will win. Control your thoughts and you will win.

Get all of the AL out of your house/space. Yes...ALL of it. You don't need a safety net because you are not going to fail. I fought this one hard, but Iwasn't able to succeed until I did it. No, I was NOT different than everybody else, I could not resist it if it was in the house. GET IT OUT.

Get your story down as to why you're not drinking. This is important. Get a story together you can live with. I actually have ulcerative colitis, so I say that my UC is 1000 times better if I don't drink. If you are a Type A personality, you might enjoy using 'AL kills my ulcers'. If you are a healthnuts, "I'm detoxing"....religious nut? "I gave it up for Lent and felt so good I kept going".....you get the idea. Get your story and stick to it.

As Alkies, we aren't used to eating. This is the SILVER BULLET to succeeding.If you have a bad craving and The Voices are knocking, EAT! Eat until you areFULL! Remember those times when you've said, "I can't eat another bite ofanything!" That's the full we're talking about. You will not want anythingif you EAT!

You are gonna feel like dookey for a few days. I felt flu-like for the first couple weeks, so treat yourself well. Drink plenty of fluids and rest! Your body is changing over from an ethanol burning engine to a food/nutrient burning machine. Have patience as your body makes this transition.

Keep yourself out of temptation. STAY out of the wine aisle at the grocerystore. NO, you are not stronger than this thing, protect your young quit with everything you've got. Stay out of bars and avoid booze parties, especially the first 3 or 4 weeks. I don't care how strong you feel, this is a new thing for us and temptation is everywhere. Avoid it at all costs.

Change your mindset from one of deprivation to one of gratitude. Just look at the folks on here who have made C-changes in their lives!!! They are HAPPY and optimistic! Does this sound like someone who considers themselves deprived? It's all a matter of perspective. Thank God, you don't HAVE to drink today!!!Remember, to a worm, digging around in the hard old ground is a lot more relaxing than going fishing! Try not to throw, attend and participate in PityParties, they serve no good purpose.

Glue yourself to this site and learn everything you can about this condition we have. Knowledge is power. Nothing we do or think hasn't been done or thoughtbefore, so look back on the 7 years of experience here and you will find outwhat happens if you do such and such.

Let go of the past... don't look back. Let it go. ALL of it. Forgive yourself and move on....nothing to see here. There is NOTHING we can do to change what we've done, but we can start today and make things better for our future.

Did I mention gluing yourself here? Read and Post!!! This is key! Being part of a group is important. Like so many have said recently, we find that we actually don't have a much of a life outside the bottle! So learning to trust others again is part of our emotional growth and healing. Yes, the Nest does move fast, but we are always on point. You just regained about 4-6 hours a day back,so spending 30 minutes catching up here should be no problem. Staying connected here is a real key to STAYING sober. The world out there is telling us to dosomething totally counter to what we know we must do. Staying connected with like-minded people is vital. We are swimming upstream on this one...it's niceto have fellow fish to make the journey with us.

I feared someone giving me a drink by mistake....if they ever do, I'm spitting it back in the glass. My quit is my foundation. No one can take it from me.

That's my take on The Plan. Byrdie
__________________

[Hanna]

Hey action girl

Congrats on 5 days!!! Being just ahead of you, I can tell you it is getting easier. One big thing I am doing differently this time is that when my brain starts talking to me, at drink time ( that I should drink), rather than try to argue with myself, I just DO something else until the craving passes, then I can think about it and actually feel grateful I did not cave. I look at it like this: my young child is standing on a ledge and wants to jump, because she thinks it will be fun. Do I engage in a rational argument with her as to why this is a bad idea? NO. I grab her and pull her away from the ledge. THEN, later, after the moment, we will talk about all the reasons jumping was a bad idea, and feel all the relief and gratitude that she didn't.

If I try to be rational with my AL voice, I will usually lose, and even if I win one, I may not drink that day, but will really feel like I am white knuckling it.

Wow..did I just offer a piece of advice? LOL.

Anyway, hope all you northern nesters are staying warm, and anyone who got tons of snow can stay indoors, preferably with a fire (I miss that...don't have one here in the south)

Later!

[Hanna]

As Alkies, we aren't used to eating. This is the SILVER BULLET to succeeding.If you have a bad craving and The Voices are knocking, EAT! Eat until you areFULL! Remember those times when you've said, "I can't eat another bite ofanything!" That's the full we're talking about. You will not want anythingif you EAT!

"

This is sooooo true! While I am extremely careful about my weight and watch my calories religiously, I am allowing myself a nice snack at drink time. I just have to remind myself of all the calories I won't be consuming with alcohol. Putting something in my stomach has been key to success. So Darn simple! Who would've thought?

[Byrdlady]

Hey action girl

Congrats on 5 days!!! Being just ahead of you, I can tell you it is getting easier. One big thing I am doing differently this time is that when my brain starts talking to me, at drink time ( that I should drink), rather than try to argue with myself, I just DO something else until the craving passes, then I can think about it and actually feel grateful I did not cave. I look at it like this: my young child is standing on a ledge and wants to jump, because she thinks it will be fun. Do I engage in a rational argument with her as to why this is a bad idea? NO. I grab her and pull her away from the ledge. THEN, later, after the moment, we will talk about all the reasons jumping was a bad idea, and feel all the relief and gratitude that she didn't.

If I try to be rational with my AL voice, I will usually lose, and even if I win one, I may not drink that day, but will really feel like I am white knuckling it.

Wow..did I just offer a piece of advice? LOL.



Later!

Yes, you sure did! And it was a good one!! xo, B