Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Don't be afraid, GG, we've got your back! You WILL make it! If you made it yesterday, you can make it today! Rinse and repeat! Stay close, there is strength in our numbers! We believe in you! B

[Overit-still]

Good morning! It's amazing what a new day can bring. My husband returned home last night. We didn't discuss my drinking because of course he drinks and doesn't see my drinking as a problem. But, we DID discuss how much we love each other and are willing to do whatever it takes to make our home a happy place again and enjoy and look forward to each other's company. I accepted my responsibility for my bad behavior, terrible disrespect to him, and poor attitude overall. We are both just ready to move forward and for me that includes admitting that I can NEVER go back to the bottle. Never. Not at 30 days or 7 months or 1 year! Ever. I am now just someone who chooses not to drink, thank you very much. I will never have this licked (my father relapsed after 9 years and that relapse eventually led to his untimely death from alcohol abuse) but I just choose not to dwell on what I'm missing but instead on what I am gaining, daily.

Thank you to everyone for your support yesterday. And I REALLY appreciate LAV calling me out on my depression. I knew that was part of my problem but I didn't realize that it was so evident. Thank you.

So, here's to today.

[Georgiagal]

Thanks Byrd! Just trying to put it out of my mind. over it- my husband doesn't think I have a problem either-it makes it very hard doesn't it?

[Overit-still]

Hi G. It makes it hard only because he doesn't understand. He isn't against my not drinking but always questions "why would you want to put yourself through that" and I explain it over and over AND point out the commonality between our fights and my drinking binges. Fortunately, he drinks but it isn't my drink of choice, doesn't even phase me, and he does it in the man cave only. So, I limit my time spent there in that atmosphere. Once I say NO, he's not a pusher but I really wish he would just get behind me and encourage and tell me how proud he is of me. But, I'm doing this for my own sanity, not anyone else's so the only person I need to be proud of me is me..............and of course you all.

[Healthybutempty]

My boyfriend and I were just over at the mall I was buying some tea and of course my boyfriend (who had already been drinking some rum this morning) begged me to buy him a case of beer so we went into the liquor store and got him his beer. I was tempted of course but I left empty handed. He said he feels like an ***hole for drinking in front of me and bringing me into the liquor store and he would feel horrible if that caused me to relapse but he still cant stop, although he says today is his last day. Today is day 360 I am so close to reaching one year and I am not screwing that up!

Yes I have tried to get an earlier appointment with my rheumatologist but there are none I am just trying to get through it until then. Hopefully Ill be able to get some painkillers of some sort. The cold up here definitely is not helping and I dont leave the house much because of the ice (well, i was a hermit anyway because of the social anxiety/paranoia and depression but even more so now lol).

I am really hoping I hear back from mental health services soon...

Hope everyone has a great AF day!

[Rahulthesweet]

Hi Hanna,

You did 3 weeks its awesome ... Stay on course.

Healthybut(not)empty you must pat yourself in the back for staying on course. Resisting drinks especially when bringing for someone close can be hard initially but at the stage you are in 360 days ... Its not worth losing the grip. I too am at similar stage and nothing is more important to me than making sure the count reaches 2 years and more. Coming back to MWO is a solid reminder of the horrible time I had.

[LavenderBlue]

Thanks for the welcome back Lav, G, NoSugar, Kensho, Byrd, anyone I missed! It's great to see all of you again.

Overit-still - I getcha on depression/anxiety, I was on medication for mine when I was a teenager and again for a while in my early 20's. I told everyone I was doing fine without them, but I've got to accept that I was self medicating with AL instead. Getting the AL out was the first step, but now I think it's time to work on things for real. I hope things work out for you, too!

Byrd - I was convinced it would be silly to stock up on sweet things - I'd never craved sweets before, not since I was a kid! I'm glad I listened to you and others, as soon as I wasn't getting sugar from AL and soda all the time you're darn right I craved it! I also never like being told what to do (hehe) so I had to really take a hammer to my brain and accept that just MAYBE you guys who have done it MIGHT know more than me. It still applies, too. I have a friend who's really hoping I'll go out with her for St Pat's now that I'm "feeling better." It was tempting to go along with it but I don't think I can handle the temptation yet. So I told her no, but suggested we find something else to do instead. I know I'm the one who made the choice, but it was partly listening to you guys talk so much about putting yourself in a position to be tempted...!

I'm not entirely sure I could quit if I got going again, and I've been lucky to get such great advice from folks here. Good thoughts and support to everyone, stay close and listen to these wise people!

Georgiagal - Great going on Day 2, those early days suck. Take it as easy as you can and know it really will get better, sending support!

[Overit-still]

[QUOTE=LavenderBlue;1599041]I'm not entirely sure I could quit if I got going again[QUOTE]

This is the truth! I felt SO GOOD and in control with my original quit. I remember it was a "reward" that I allowed myself that first drink and I've pretty much been on a binge since then. AND everyone is right that it gets harder to quit each time. No joke!

Good to see you.

[banana44]

Hello everyone! Checking in finally, first day of the work week for me today and was super busy. I felt good and strong until I clocked out and drove past the two places that sell alcohol on the way home, but didn't even slow down. Yay!

Mad props to all of you who have spouses/S.O.'s who still drink, even if it isn't your drink of choice or they don't blatantly do it around you. My hubby and I were like that for nearly a year, I was sober for many months, but it finally got to me--seeing him 'unwind' after work with bourbon (not my D.O.C. either, it was the 'unwinding' that got me) so I went back on the wine and right back to where I started. He also doesn't think I have a problem...which is amazing, because he's seen me after a binge and it ain't pretty. He never binges either. But finally last year he decided to quit with me. That was my longest stint sober, and he felt fantastic because he lost a ton of weight. But then I started sneaking around behind his back...

Sigh, sorry, didn't mean to give you my life story. But it does help me a lot that he is back on the wagon with me this time as well.

Nice warm up (to 22 degrees!) here, but we're going to build a fire and drink some tea and watch Bosch on Amazon prime. Hope you all are feeling safe & warm in the nest, AF!

Best,
Banana

[banana44]

Stay Strong GeorgiaGal, we have the same quit date...hang in there! It really does get easier!

[enzo'smom]

I had one of those days at work that used to lead me speeding to the liquor store for a bottle (or two) of wine. I really wanted to scream at the end of the day…..instead? I thought about how it was just another day. Drinking would not change a thing but only make things worse. So I drove straight home, fed my boys and my dogs and then sat myself down and came on to MWO.
I need to eat dinner and get into my warm PJs….curl up with my puppy and watch some good TV. then nod off to sleep with a good book
sure beats the idea of drinking until I pass out, get an awful night's sleep and wake up hungover to deal with work again….
INstead, I will wake up completely sober and ready to tackle the day.

but I can't lie, that stupid thought of getting wine keeps popping into my head. I can push it away but it is annoying that it keeps happening…..this damn disease…..

[Samstone]

well done Enzo!! Remember, it is not what is missing, it is what you've gained; your own voice.

[Turnagain]

Howdy to all the shiny, brave newbies and welcome back to the determined re-Newbies!

It's so amazing to see how all of us help each other no matter how far along we are in our freedom from addiction. I can remember back to my early days of my final and forever quit when I would just glue myself to a twig here to take in all the encouragement and tried-and-true tips on getting through the cravings and temptations. I am grateful we have a place to share where we can help each other with compassion.

There are a lot of really great conversations now on dealing with those situations when someone in the house is still drinking. I went through that and like a lot of you, I did not initially tell my husband that I had decided to no longer drink....ever again...no matter what. I did tell him I needed to take a break from drinking and asked if he would keep his wine at the office until the weekend. That gave me a bit of breathing space to get my feet under me in the brave, new world of AF living.

In situations where I did not have any control over the external AL environment, such as a dinner out with others or a wedding or a party, I actively started welcoming the challenge knowing that getting through these situations - especially the FIRSTS - would help build and strengthen new neural pathways in the brain. It was truly amazing how that little adjustment in attitude helped. It actually felt a little bit like a game after awhile to confidently conquer the first sober vacation, the first sober birthday, the first sober Christmas....and on and on and on. And before you know it, the cravings start coming farther apart and when they do happen...they are weak and wimpy!

Now, I am an out of the closet warrior and well, you can only imagine what it's like to drink around me. I'm sure my husband would like to find a roll of duct tape when I start in on my "EVERY drink damages EVERY time" riff! LOL. No wonder he won't get a hearing aid!

[available]

Jenni that stupid voice fades with time, as long as you keep ignoring it, it gets quieter and quieter until you suprise yourself one day and think "god i did not hear that voice". That bought a smile to my face when that finally happened. I have no voices now but an urge cant hit me occasionally that a drink would be nice. We all know there is nothing nice about an alcoholic with a drink and where that can lead.

[Georgiagal]

Hi guys! Still here and not drinking!! Thank you for all of the support. I went to dinner w a friend and almost ordered wine. I don't feel as bad as I did yesterday and thought "what the hell?" That's my biggest trigger....well among many. I drank and got all panicky and today everything is fine so now of course I want to drink. Ugh.