Newbies Nest

[TJAF]

Congrats on day 4, Dutch!

I struggle with the weekend thing too.....how to make the weekends more fun without the old buddy, AL...

Friday night seems to need the pick up the most, so have decided to have a little "treat" on Fridays. I think that will be ordering dinner delivered. Last Friday was pizza night. Or do something else unusual, that I don't do on the weeknights.
It is this time of the year that is the hardest, as the weather is so horrible....
Once the weather gets nicer, I will grab the dogs and go for a walk or something, but this being "snowed in" is getting really old....and BORING!!!

New Page Congratulations on Day 4. I gotta ask, was it the drinking part that was fun or was it the stuff you were doing while drinking that was fun. Cause raising a glass is work, and to top it off, you got to lay down cash to do it. Now hanging with friends, telling jokes, shooting pool, dancing, listening to music ...that was all fun too and its is all right there in front of you just leave out the drinking part.

All kidding aside I realize that many of us associate those fun times with drinking so when we are doing them we kinda want a drink to go along with it. Not to mention that the vast majority of us in our early recovery couldn't go within 5 miles of a place that serves/sells booze. That doesn't mean that fun times are off limits if we don't have a drink in our hand. Its just a different mind set that will come in time. In the meantime what worked for me early in my recovery was exercise, staying hydrated, eating a lot of small meals, and taking a good assortment of vitamins (B, and C in particular). I also took valarium root but I warn you it smells awful.

[banana44]

There's been so many great comments today, especially from wiser people with time under their belts! Going back to the '30 day' mentality, I was thinking of that too, like it can be good or dangerous, depending on how you think of it. For me, this time, I'm going for the 90 day mark. I haven't done that in 3 years and I really feel like I'll get better clarity this time around. At least I hope so.

Had the day off today, so I spent it cleaning and catching up, running errands, including grocery--and didn't buy. Every time I do this I reward myself with something *else* at the store; yesterday it was chex mix at Walgreens (stylin', I know, but I don't eat very much processed food and that's a favorite of mine). Today I bought a few items at a TJ maxx near the grocery store just for the heck of it. Not saying that anyone should replace drinking with shopping binges, haha, but in the early days this is a strategy that works for me.

To the person (sorry I don't know everyone yet) who asked about how to deal with weekend urges, I say load up your kindle with some good reading, or get on netflix and watch some shows or movies you've been meaning to. Maybe that sounds lame, but I'm always surprised at how enjoyable it is to wake up Saturday morning and actually remember the end of the movie I watched the night before, or the last few chapters of my book! I'm kind of a homebody though so not sure if this helps.

Best to everyone. Day 4 for me!
Banana

[Guitarista]

Stylin here on day 60.

And got a date tonight. :dancin:

Take care everyone. Congrat's to our day 4 AF superstars! G

[Overit-still]

Dutch-Weekends? Ugh! That was a tough one in the beginning. (of my original quit) I liked to stay busy at home since that was my preferred drinking arena. I would do as Byrd suggested and tackle some projects that I had been putting off, just to stay busy. Then I'm an introvert so I loved staying home, wrapped up in a blanket with snack foods watching movies or reading a book. If you're silly and want to get out, go to a roller rink, an arcade, goofy golf. If you are into sports, hit the gym in the evenings, play tennis or racquetball. Rollerblade through the park. The possibilities are endless. It's all active which helps keep the brain busy and no booze around. Good luck to you my friend, I'm on day 4 (again!) too. Stay close and I'll be watching for you to check in.

[Overit-still]

Congrats G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hanna]

Hi Nesters!!

Weekends for me were really not a major trigger, as I drank every night, in secret, and it was harder to do this on the weekends with hubby around. However, in terms of keeping myself occupied, one silly thing I have found very helpful is doing puzzles - no joke! It involves my brain (well, kinda) and my hands, and when I get into it the time just flies. It has been helpful to me during that witching hour prior to eating dinner, waiting for hubby to get home (he gets home later than I do). Maybe I should be cooking dinner, lol, but I usually make something really quick and easy, and so I find this a better option.

Friday nights, I look forward to watching Dateline or 20/20, in PJs at 10 pm. OK, so I really am a nerd!!!!

Tomorrow night, we are going to see Jerry Seinfeld. Hubby got free tickets. I was nervous at first, until I realized that he is not performing at a comedy club, where you sit at tables and there is a 2 drink minimum, but in a regular concert hall, so although drinks are available, it is not in your face, so to speak. And, we will be eating dinner first. So, I have a plan.

So weird, we never have plans, and since I quit in the last 3 weeks I have had more circumstances with alcohol than I remember. Hmmm., maybe not. Maybe I just am aware and remember them now?

Anyway, Hope you all have a wonderful evening...

[Guitarista]

G-man,

Sober dating? Not one I've made it to yet! Am a wee bit scared of it though.....

Any tips? For those more sartorially and charm-challenged than your beautiful self of course!

SF

Hi SF. Can't say i've done a lot of it myself! But, i'm okay with it. My approach is just to enjoy the company, the surroundings, the band and be myself. Of course, it might not be as simple as this tonight, as the band, venue, and company might end up being total fizzers! lol. The whole thing could equally be a real delight. Either way, i'm ready for any scenario. I have my own transport and can exit early if need be. I'm looking forward to it as i'm ready to expand and put myself out there. Whether there's any romance or not is actually secondary. My aim is to have a good time, enjoy my friends company and focus on the good points of what might be a crap band.

[Turnagain]

Wow - here's to another great round of practical tips on dealing with drinking triggers! I tried doing a multi-quote thing, but - ahem - couldn't quite get it to work. Please don't tell anyone tho, as I do fancy myself as being a fairly competent computer nerd and would hate to be stripped of my geek card.

Anyway...Dutch and Banana and others out there facing the weekend without the destructive drug alcohol...you've done a great thing by just coming here and asking for advice! SCORE a big one for brain recovery!

Folks who've been there and done that have shared some very effective strategies for getting through the tempting times. As you can see, people put some creativity and individuality into this process. In the most basic terms, tackling the early triggers comes down to 3 basic techniques:

Avoid * Distract * REWARD

Interestingly enough, the importance of REWARD is often overlooked. Yet REWARD is exceptionally powerful. Add me to the list of people who were thrilled to get that first 'MOON' from Byrdie! And OMG - I was beyond the moon when I got the flying undies! Reward - in all of its forms - helps to heal the damaged dopamine pathways that have been ravaged by the drug alcohol. How cool is that?

Beyond aiming for Byrdie's many 'iconic' awards, I also set up a little bank account where I transferred the amount of money I had been wasting daily on my addictive fixes. It piled up fast and I used that money for all sorts of treats for myself and others. I no longer do the daily transfers, but every now and then I give myself a big dopamine splurge by getting out the sobriety calculator and the number calculator to see just how much money I've saved by not drinking and smoking. Come to think of it, I haven't done this for awhile. Here goes:

1314 days x $22 day for toxic alcohol and tobacco = $28,908
$$$$$$ Ka-ching!!!!!

Holy no-SMOKES, SuperSoberStars! That's a pile of dough that's been doing good now! Still chickenfeed compared to the REAL reward:

Being addiction free and living fully every moment is PRICELESS!

[Guitarista]

Hope it all goes well G.

I have a first date next week and I'm trying to talk myself into it being interesting however it goes, rather than just mildly terrifying.....eeeek!!

Much loveliness to you
SF

All the best with it SF. Sounds exciting! The person i am dating tonight, i already know fairly well, so a bit less daunting. However, i have an exit plan if e.g. i get caught up in a (toooo) late night scenario i'm not comfortable with, that plan being my own transport to leave anytime i like. But i will also challenge myself to hang in there and not scramble for the exit sign at the first pang of uneasiness. An exit plan i can handle is crucial for me on a date. I reckon you'll have an absolute ball! G

[Hanna]

AAARRGGGGHHHH

On the side of the turnpike with a.blowout! Waiting for AAA

Deep breaths!

[NoSugar]

Sorry you're in that situation, Hanna- I'm glad you're not in one of the way-too-cold parts of the country! And thank goodness for AAA! (and for AA for those that like it :smile.

Turn, you must have had a much more discerning palate than I did... :wink:. I'd happily spend my 6 bucks or so a day to stay sober if I had to! It's so valuable, we really can't even put a price on it. But --- your numbers are impressive! Congratulations!

[Guitarista]

AAARRGGGGHHHH

On the side of the turnpike with a.blowout! Waiting for AAA

Deep breaths!

Another one of life's little challenges Hanna! Don't allow it to derail you. Remember, we get stronger each time we face one of life's realities and deal with it sober as you are doing. Now, don't run out of gas! :congratulatory:

[available]

Mr G a huge congrats on 60 days and i hope your date goes well and strategies are always good.

SF i have been on dates since i have been sober. I actually have morals so i found out and standards! Weird how al clouded all of that. No more wanting to chew my arm off in the mornings to escape either. I find it a bit daunting and my anxiety levels rise but after the intial "what do you want to drink etc" is over and done with and they realise you are not a freak as you dont drink it is fine. Let us know how it goes guys.

[Byrdlady]

NoSugar and Turn, I was a cheap drunk! As of tomorrow, I will be 1500 days AF, so if I do my TIMES table correctly, thats $15,000 I have saved! That aint bad!!! Can you imagine???

Hanna, I am so sorry you had a flat! What a pain in the arse. Hope you get home without event.
SF, great to see you!
Guitarista! Look at your pair! OF MONTHS!!!
:two:
Great job on those 2 months!! Im so proud of you! I hope you are taking some protection for your big date....no, not THAT, your Butt Velcro!! Bahaha!! Have a great time!
Byrdie

[A new page]

New Page Congratulations on Day 4. I gotta ask, was it the drinking part that was fun or was it the stuff you were doing while drinking that was fun. Cause raising a glass is work, and to top it off, you got to lay down cash to do it. Now hanging with friends, telling jokes, shooting pool, dancing, listening to music ...that was all fun too and its is all right there in front of you just leave out the drinking part.
.

Hey TJAF, Thanks, actually on day 110, but who's counting??? Oh me, need to count so I can post on roll call! :happy2:
I wonder if I have been going through PAWS, as had a "flat" period for about a week, started with last Friday night, and got progressively crabbier by the day. UGH....

Except for this short periond, the quit has gone pretty easily with no real cravings....and in pretty good spirits. I even caught myself thinking last night that I didn't drink that much....WHAT, where did that come from??? And YES I certainly did drink that much....

Then this morning, felt better all of a sudden, back to cheerful self....

Starting to feel like Jeckyl and Hyde here.......