Newbies Nest

[enzo'smom]

oh my gosh….i just checked for the first time and I have 61 days…..how the heck did that happen???
OK, I am not going to get caught up in the counting game in my head this time….but I was just so curious…..BUT, it is JUST another day SOBER!!! bring them on!!!!

[Byrdlady]

Enzo, do you mind if The Prize Patrol shows up with your award?
:two:
Wow, 61 days! That is FINE work, young lady! So proud of you!
Keep up the great work!

A new page, I hit a flat spot at 4 months, i think we just hit some phases of time that stuff is catching up with each other....like our emotional age with our chronological age. Things arent bad, but they arent as rosy, just flat (As Peggy Lee would say, Is that All There Is?). Hang in there! It will pass! It is just a small span of time in the scheme of things!
B

[Turnagain]

:egad:Byrdie and NS - I would hardly call you two cheap! OR Drunks now, for that matter. LOL. My addiction cost a lot because we have pretty big 'sin' taxes here. A pack of smokes has crept up to nearly $10. So glad I'm breathing fresh air instead of death these days! And the booze has gone up, too. It would've gone up even more in my city had big alcohol not defeated a local harm tax.

Oh - yeah. I guess drinking and smoking A LOT also contributed to a big bottom line (and um...a big bottom, too!)

A while back, I made a little graphic of my addiction. My garbage was really noisy since we don't recycle glass here. Toward the end, I was wrapping my bottles in paper to dampen the cacophony of incriminating CLINKS:

ADD by the numbers.jpg

I do not have a graphic of my other bottom. You are spared! :egad:

[Matt M.]

Hey Friends
Quick check in, from work.

Had a scare yesterday afternoon while at home working around the house I had A very powerful craving/urge to head to one of my old watering holes. It smacked down on me out of nowhere. Nothing out of the ordinary going on, normal daily stress.
I found myself briefly contemplating this action? Why? I have absolutely ZERO desire to go back to that hell, I've used up all my day 1's and have completely ran out of ways to "moderate". I know this now and I knew it yesterday, yet for a brief second I thought about it, and that is the part that scared the dog shit out of me..In my mind it's insanity!
I have been punched in the nose and my nose was broken, not one time since then, not even for a split fucking second have I ever wanted to be punched and have a broken nose again, never ever.
The power of Alcohol is legit , this I understand.

First and foremost, Yesterday I did not drink.
I reached out, as quick as I pondered that drink I was messaging another member/ a sponsor if you will, and sharing my scare with her.
I so like the "My Way Out" idea, and this has been a blessing for me, yet I know I must be true to myself, make my self accountable, by sharing and reaching out.
Yesterday is a notch in the belt for me and my support peeps not another notch for Al!

Stay Hard freaks! I am!

[TJAF]

My apologies congratulations on day 110. I know all about PAWS having experienced it first hand but I don't post much about it in the nest. I think talking about it here distracts and potentially scares newbies and in one instance I think I pushed someone off the wagon because they were discouraged. With that said you will find that those flat periods get few and far between. For me it was just good to know and understand PAWS. Understanding it was so therapeutic!

[A new page]

Thanks, TJ. I think it helps to be aware of PAWS' existence, and also to watch out for it. That way it becomes explainable, and if one is experiencing odd feelings, maybe it is not as scary as the complete unknown, and the possibility that the oddness is going to be forever!

[TJAF]

New Page I agree that there is strength in knowledge but to my newbie friends it is far more important to focus on remaining sober than to worry about momentary setbacks that you MAY experience down the road. Even at its worst the relatively mild symptoms of PAWS pale in comparison to the living hell that is alcohol abuse.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I see the place is still hopping - great

Congrats to everyone reaching milestones today, that's just awesome.
Byrdie, 1500 days, :yay: I always knew you were going to be a good student

Matt, I am really happy you made it through your rough moment unscathed!
Reaching out to someone, posting before you do any harm to yourself is always wise. You made a great choice.
You have nearly 6 AF months now & I promise you that you won't have such harsh moments in the future. It took me nearly a year to feel fully comfortable & confident in my AF life & you will get there too!

Hanna, hope you got home safe & sound!

G, congrats & good luck on that date!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!
I'm starting to think about planning my 6 year AF party on March 26. I better start baking cakes now so I have enough to go around!!!!

Lav

[Hanna]

Hi all
Well, today didn't suck, but early evening sure did. Leaving work, at 5, I guess I was last to leave the building. We close at 5 on Thursdays but when I walked out of my office at, like, 5:02 the alarm went off from the motion detector. I've worked here for several years, but somehow got overlooked today when everyone else left. Anyway, it scared me to death, and I called the director at home, and worked out getting out of the building and re setting the alarm. Then had a blow out on the turnpike. Well, I was told no more than an hour wait and probably less as i was listed "priority" ( guess cause I was the side of a highway). Took an hour an forty minutes.

This should have been no more than frustrating except this was all between 5 pm and 7:30. I was stressed, hungry, and tired... and stuck. I really, really, wanted to drink. Of course I couldn't, as I was stuck there. Good thing. Home now and going to bed, but just needed to share. Not a good time, in terms of my head space.

[jane27]

Byrdie my angel, Congrats on 1500! Having you to look up to is one of the luckiest things that ever happened to me. Xo

[Matt M.]

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[Dutch1988]

Man, thank you guys for all the positive feedback, I had a really rough day at work and I was ready to go home, call my gym buddy and say I was too sore so I couldgo grab a bottle of vodka. Doing things I have been putting off because of the drinking is definitely a tough idea to me, I think I associate alcohol with relaxing and "begging out" on the couch too much. Probably something I picked up from my mom and dad, since they do it to this day.
Byrd thanks for the advice, even if I just spend the time hanging out with family I haven't seen for awhile or something I think it would be helpful. I've decided to not go go the ufc party I was gonna hit this Saturday, don't think I am ready to tell people no offering me a free drink.
Page I am taking your advice and planning a nice treat tomorrow, but my instant gratification wants to just order a pizza tonight haha. Still better than a booze run I guess.

Thanks everyone else for responding too, I am reading the forum on my phone so it's hard to scroll and respond, but definitely feel like I have a corner now when cravings hit me, much appreciated.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

So much activity here today - I think I want to respond to everyone, but then I forget by the time I get to the end.

My Friday night ritual became Yoga class when I was first sober. I got so I looked forward to that class as much as I used to look forward to a drink (not that I was exclusive to Fridays...). I had to quit because I hurt my shoulder, but this conversation has convinced me to go back. It is so nice to have something healthy to look forward to! I also look forward to my Friday ice cream. That's my reward. I guess I should quit the sugar, but I eat pretty well and have LOVED ice cream my whole life. I'm sticking with it for now.

Matt and Hanna - glad you survived your struggles. Each hard thing we do sober is strengthening those sober muscles. Keep it up!

G - 60 days and DATING! I hope you have dance moves like those you posted - sure to get you some lovin'! Although I haven't "dated," I understand the hardship of hanging out with people without the lubricant of alcohol. It so easily helped me make that social connection. For a while I really had to talk myself into a conversation with strangers, but now I found I have re-discovered my social self and have no problem jumping right in. Well, no problem is a bit of an exaggeration, but I can do it with little stress. Have fun. You, too, SF.

Ava - I am serious when I say you should write for a living. You have such finesse, and you ALWAYS make me laugh, even when you're saying something serious. Blog??

Kensho, I've been working a ton, too, and it looks to be that way for the foreseeable future. Remember self care in times like these.

Daisy - stay close. I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. It will certainly be easier to deal with sober.

Byrdie - I LOVE your prizes, too. Keep em coming.

I will not drink for the next 200 years, either. Well, 199 now...

Pav

[KENSHO]

Overit - thanks for your post - reminded me how I used to fight with my hubby after drinking. Good for you for deciding to be done. I have been feeling really solid in my new life without alcohol, but I must stay connected here and never forget my commitment to sobriety. It would be easy to drift away bit - and I think that would be a mistake.

I do still get thoughts of "wouldn't it be nice to unwind...you've been working so hard". The answer is always just plain "NO, you can't" and I move on. My drinking days feel like a really long time ago now - I feel somewhat disconnected from the pain it caused. No time like the present to remind myself with a nice long list of what alcohol did to me - how I hated it, how it damaged my relationships, my health, my self-respect.

How do I bridge the gap between staying connected to the pain and using it as motivation, and feeling sort of "over it" - wanting to move on and not dwell?

Congrats to everyone having so much success. The nest was so full of energy this week!

[Matt M.]

How do I bridge the gap between staying connected to the pain and using it as motivation, and feeling sort of "over it" - wanting to move on and not dwell?

What a great question Ken. Who would think our darkest days would become our greatest motivation. Yet your so right there is a fine line there somewhere? I need those past experiences as a reminder, yet I don't want to dwell on them to be constantly rattled with guilt and remorse? A good question for the "old folks" :moonwalk::newhere: that I love and respect of course
Thanks Ken!

Lav~ Thank you for everything you said, for real! (You have some mail heading your way!

Pav~Thanks and believe it or not I have a bit of an addictive personality:shutup: and I have been destroying some ice cream lately, in the evenings mostly ,I may need slide in over to NS's thread.

Why am I awake at such hour.you may ask? The people I serve like being awake at night :cuss:

Matt Out