I pretended to have a stomach bug yesterday so I could skip a get together with my girlfriends who I grew up with…I have known them for over 40 years (and I am 51
![Smile](https://www.mywayout.org/community/core/images/smilies/smile.png)
what has been hard is dealing with the fact that I couldn't see them because the temptation to drink would have been so great, that even if I had succeeded with not drinking, it would have made me absolutely miserable and I would be dealing with the aftermath of white knuckling through the evenings for days following (I learned this from a prior quit) I just don't want that emotional hangover.
So, I stayed home and felt a little bit sad that that old me is gone…..the one who could drink like a normal person, laugh, have fun and share with my dear old friends.
But that old me has been gone for years……..the last few times I got together with them, I got blind drunk. Made a fool of myself (guard down because i have known them for so long)
It wasn't fun….it was embarrassing.
So, the weekend has been hard because I miss those old, carefree times. But I just remind myself that those carefree times of drinking no longer exist, just like my wrinkle free, arthritis free body no longer exists….. I can't push the rewind button. all i can do is stay the course, get healthy and strive to get to a point when I can see my friends without white knuckles!!!!!!
Now, I am heading for the gym…..I will work my ass off for 1.5 hours, burn about 800 calories and feel fantastic afterward…..that is the gift I give myself for staying the course. If my friends COULD understand why I didn't see them, they WOULD…..
Comment