Newbies Nest

[KENSHO]

Good morning. I am "on duty" at our local design center today. Hoping to get a lot completed. We are travling a bit end of this week, so I am under a crunch. I'm going to do my best, but still sleep - as this, along with hyperfocusing on work, creates a situation where the AL voice tries to sneak in. It's all about balance - I so struggle with that! And I exercised so much more when I was drinking. I've never had so much trouble getting back in the habit. I find myself wanting an external source to push me into it, but it all comes down to me either just doing it or not. There's nothing more - just do it. Thanks Nike. I think I'll sign up for a June triathalon instead of the August one (or maybe both) - that always fuels me to get going.

Ciao for the day. Stay strong.

[Overit-still]

Kensho-a triathalon? I've always wanted to do one.

[Healthybutempty]

Hello, hope everyone is doing well. It's snowing up here again. I am on day 2
Have a great AF day.

[KENSHO]

Overit - yes, a sprint triathalon. We have a women's only version come through near my house and I've done it a few times. It is SO fun - people of all levels of fitness. Half mile swim, 3 mile run and 12 mile bike. Takes about 2 hours. I thought it such a huge thing, and I hadn't swum since childhood. But I just made a training routine and stuck to it - I was able to better my time each year - and THAT is the motivation I need. It would be fun to see what I could accomplish without alcohol. I remember hitting the pool some mornings feeling really hungover It really is an approachable thing though, and feels like such an accomplishment! It's fun to train with someone, if you ever get the urge.... let me know!

[ADP]

Hi Nesters.....a real quicky today.

Firstly......Kensho.....Hi! TRIATHLON??!! Please.....I feel happy to be able to get out of bed unaided! :happy2: But good luck with that...go for it!
Again lots to read and will get to them in due course, promise.
Today has marked day 4 and has been amazing! I have ended the day smiling and sober! Not something that ever used to happen, but there it is. I am making that comment more for me than anyone else really, because I want to see it in print here when the AL voices get too loud, then I can read that I did 4 days, (selfish I know.....sorry).
Knowing that I can't take back what I say here means added imetus to say on track.....and I mean to! I am making my plan for tomorrow already so I hope to add a day 5......will let you know.
Again, some great posts I have liked and more to read, but everyone, have a great AF night and a better day tomorrow.

Hugs to seniors and us strugglers alike,
ADP x

[Dutch1988]

Overit - yes, a sprint triathalon. We have a women's only version come through near my house and I've done it a few times. It is SO fun - people of all levels of fitness. Half mile swim, 3 mile run and 12 mile bike. Takes about 2 hours. I thought it such a huge thing, and I hadn't swum since childhood. But I just made a training routine and stuck to it - I was able to better my time each year - and THAT is the motivation I need. It would be fun to see what I could accomplish without alcohol. I remember hitting the pool some mornings feeling really hungover It really is an approachable thing though, and feels like such an accomplishment! It's fun to train with someone, if you ever get the urge.... let me know!

I can relate, I don't know why, but the endorphin high from drinking and long distance cardio really feel similar to me. I know I workout to get that similar feeling, or maybe I drank to get it, I really don't know anymore haha. My achievements I do because I am not drinking so much are probably one of the main things I am looking forward too. I know I wasn't recovering properly from workouts because I was drinking so much, good luck with the triathlon, sounds fun!

[available]

Glad to see there are still so many sober mwoers on a Tuesday morning.

SF oh the morals i didnt have! Mr. G, i am with you now! had a date last night and was the man who told me he could control my drinking a couple of months ago to telling me last night if he ever sees me with a drink i am dead. We first met in my downward spiral with drinking and now knows me sober. For some funny reason he prefers the sober me and the good thing is so do i.

Kensho try and slow down and smell the roses. Rome was not built in a day. Protect that quit of yours with your life girl as it is ultimately your life and your childrens. I always get around to things eventually. I am sober, i am happy.

Dutch i drank everyday ending in a Y, i look back now and think how the hell did i wake up, let alone function each day. I dont remember what a hangover feels like and i honestly dont want to. Its not my life anymore although i live with being an alcoholic daily it does not define who i am.

Have a great one!

[Byrdlady]

Overit - yes, a sprint triathalon. We have a women's only version come through near my house and I've done it a few times. It is SO fun - people of all levels of fitness. Half mile swim, 3 mile run and 12 mile bike. Takes about 2 hours.

This would take me 2 days to complete. Like ADP, I have to get out of bed in phases!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bahaha! Go YOU!!!! (enjoy your knees while you've got them!!) xo

[actiongirl46]

Hello all!
Hanna, I'm having a snack during the witching hour, its working! How about you? How's it going?

HBE, so so nice to hear from you. I hope you are getting the answers that you need on your pain and RA. Hang in there!

Daisy45, how was your weekend? Are things settling down? Welcome Dutch1988 and ADP!

Spoiler alert, this may be disgusting, but I had my first colonoscopy this morning. (Ah, the gift of turning 50!! And hubby is one year older so there was no way I was getting out of it.) Good news is that I "passed" with flying colors. Whew! The other good news is that it confirmed my deep dislike of hospitals in general. I've only been in a hospital for the birth of my children and have never had surgery or been put under. They are NOT a place I want to be (no offense if you are a medical employee, just not my thing).

It was a great reminder to me of the importance of my health and that I need to pay serious attention to it. Have a healthy AF Monday all! I'm off to walk the beast.

[Resolve]

Can we all collectively agree to say good riddance to February? Even the geese around here seem to be annoyed with the cold as they start their spring courtship on frozen ponds.

One of the uncanny things around here is how someone hits the nail on the head with what's going on in your head. Kensho mentioned about sharing more here than with others and in turn posting less to focus more on her spouse. I know that over the past weeks I've intentionally drifted for the same reason (well, my spouse not hers). Being here and there aren't mutually exclusive things, but I found that maybe I was getting relief by venting, sharing and working on myself here and then not sharing or being as available at home. There's only so much gas in the tank in a given day to be at work and be a parent, spouse, friend, son and throughout focus on why it is we come here. My marriage isn't on life support yet, but I also don't want to be sober just in time for divorce either. I guess I'm somewhere in that gap of adjusting to being that person trying on multiple fronts but not feeling "enough" satisfaction yet. I've hit that impatient bastard speed bump and need to keep in mind that if I've gone adrift elsewhere in life, then all I can do is try my best and hope for the best.

Over the weekend I had stronger thoughts of drinking than I've had in some time because I haven't been as plugged in here. It wasn't strong enough where I thought I'd act on it, but it was more intense to the point that it felt a little too uncomfortable. It can be somewhat deflating to feel this way, not defeating, and there is a part of me that feels like I should know better or feel better or be better. But I also know that it's just the way it goes, and I take some comfort in the back and forth and ups and downs as being part of recovery. Most importantly, I feel reassured that others have felt and do feel the same way. Reading up and connecting here have worked for me, and I need to keep reinforcing that, not easing up on it. Without question, drinking again would be a monumental screw-up for me and backtracking to nowhere. I may not be feeling at the top of the mountain and beating on my chest at the moment, but it's a far higher place than drinking would take me. Drift generally isn't a good thing in any aspect of life, and I can see clearly now that drifting from here too far can take you where you don't want to go again.

[Overit-still]

Resolve-I understand completely. That's why I'm pretty much silent in the evenings and on weekends. Although I did peek a time or two this weekend when I had a spare quiet moment.

[available]

Lav,Byrd,NS,Pav,me, and others log on here daily, sometimes twice daily to be and stay accountable. Does this not suggest something that support and accountability work wonders in keeping sober and on track. It is a small price to pay for my sobriety and one that i am more than willing to commit to.

I too have work, family, committments but there is no greater committment than me being sober.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Just heard that we have a three day storm working it's way to the east coast from out west bring more snow & ice - seriously!!! This feels like bad karma or something.

Resolve, I have to agree that drifting is dangerous. Why would we drop the reins now? It would make no sense for me or for any of us, We are much stronger working together

HBE, glad you checked in & I hope you had a good day. This weather pattern is not nice!

Kensho, I wouldn't have attempted a triathlon in my 20's or 30's. No way I could think about doing something like that now!!! Wishing you the best of luck

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[KENSHO]

Ava, I think the challenge, for me at least, is learning the balancing act. I had to distance myself from those close to me at first, so I could focus entirely on my quit, and protect myself. Now that I'm stronger, I want to mend those relationships, and it requires being equally involved in it ALL. There seems to be no doubt that being here and STAYING here suggests success and the commitment that comes with it! For me now, it's just incorporating all the parts of myself and my quit and those around me. Thanks for the support!

[NoSugar]

When you have what for most of us seemed like a completely intractable problem, I don't understand even considering giving up the very thing that enabled you to finally solve that problem. It would be a different story, perhaps, if what helped you get sober was a $50k stay at in-patient rehab. It might even be the case that life situations changed and you might not be able to get to the meetings that did the trick. But this? You don't have to pay anything if you don't want to. It takes no more than 15 minutes to read and post, especially if you stick to one or two threads. So that is a flexible half hour a day total with 2 check-ins to keep in place what I see as the place that saved me. Sometimes you might spend less time here, sometimes more. Maybe some of us would be fine if we drifted or walked away. I know a couple people for whom that is the case. But for me, it's not worth the risk and besides, I really like and admire the strong, brave, committed people here. You're the kind of people I like to hang out with, even with the limits of an online site. As an added bonus, being open and honest here has made me more that way in real life - much to the occasional shock of friends and family who are more familiar with the reserved me.

all the best - NS

xpost Kensho - this is not directed at you - just my musings :smile: