Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

HBE, get rid of that bottle!
Give it away, throw it away....doesn't matter! Just make it disappear!

Hanna, I can tell you how to stop disappointing yourself. I was sick to death of disappointing myself time & time again. I would quit for a while then find myself restarting for absolutely no reason. The same with smoking too. The only left for me to do was something I had never done before. I made a solemn vow to myself to STOP! Never ever restart either addiction, no matter what! I followed that vow with a solid plan including using the hypno CDs. Believe me, there have been plenty of times over the past 6 years where I could have rekindled my addictions but I consistently chose not to do so. You can do it too if you want to live without the beast on your back.

Banana, just keep trying & you will meet your goals as well. It takes time to break bad habits & develop new, healthier habits.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest! Today has been cold, damp, icy & everything not nice. Waiting for Spring

Lav

[KENSHO]

I'm going to sleep. I have work that is not getting done - and I am realizing that sobriety is more important than being Wonder Woman. This business and my management of its stress is making me want to drink. Time to re-evaluate my ambitions and remember to take care of myself. Feeling a little sad tonight. But hanging in there. Good night.

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

A lot of struggling here in the nest. Dutch - I think what you're talking about is the pink cloud. The first little while sober you are SO HAPPY to be sober that when that period ends it is a bit of a letdown.

Hanna and Banana - The way Lav puts it sounds so simple, but that was it for me, too. I HAD to stop. I couldn't keep drinking like I was and keep the marriage, kids, family, job and life I wanted. It wasn't working any more. If MWO isn't enough, find a meeting, a friend, and addiction group, a therapist - someone in person who can help. It REALLY helped me - once I decided to quit, I told my whole story to a therapist. Then I couldn't go back, no matter what. I could lie to myself forever, but once I told her and some friends about my drinking, I could no longer deny my problem. I know - that is scary. But staying on that drunk, guilt, depression hamster wheel is even scarier. I used to get that "it's not fair" feeling, but that doesn't really matter. It just is. Just like some people have diabetes, some lose their jobs, some need glasses. It just is the way it is. Accepting that will go a long way toward your being more at peace with being sober.

Kensho - glad you made a choice to take care of yourself.

Over It - My husband married a party girl drinking buddy too. After I smoothed out a bit, I can tell you that he and I have just as much fun as ever. He'll get used to it, especially if you give him some of the gory details. What we do is NOT normal.

Yes, this thread moves fast. Someone once gave me advice - you don't have to respond to everything - just what strikes you as something to respond to. Or just post how you're feeling. No rules here.

Goodnight.
Pav (one of the P-AVA twins - love that, Byrdie.)

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Looks very icy outside this morning AND we're supposed to get 8" of snow tonight - not nice! I'm ready for Spring!

Kensho, taking care of ourselves is more important than I ever realized. Looking back I can clearly see that the failure to look after myself played a big part in my downfall. I was severely overstretched with my job, family, home, & caring for elderly parents. It was too much for any superwoman let alone me. Do what you have to do but be sure to include so good self-care :hug:

Wishing everyone a good AF Wednesday, hump day, whatever

Lav

[KENSHO]

Good morning! Feeling better with some solid sleep. I didn't make that list last night, but I will have to prioritize this morning and make an effort to be realistic. I am only one person. Here's to another sober day - I'm always so glad when I choose not to drink.

[frances]

For those of you struggling and feeling like you always will, I just wanted to say, as others have already mentioned - believe it or not, it really does start to feel normal not to drink. I remember one day, I think I was about 2-3 months AF, when instead of thinking about wanting a drink on my way home from work, I thought about wanting a nice cup of tea. I do feel like you need to replace the AL habit with something else - exercise, doing something around the house, having a cup of tea or a seltzer - whatever it is, develop a new habit that can replace the AL habit. Now I still 'want' something, it's just that now it's that cup of tea or seltzer. My brain really does seem to be rewired for this now. Yours will too!

[Byrdlady]

A quick fly-by this morning, work has suddenly gone nuts!

Lav mentioned this a few weeks ago, it is worth mentioning again... if you consider that you are struggling with AL, or BATTLING it, that is an adversarial mindset. If you can change your thinking around to the other side of this, it will help. Accomplishing a goal is so much easier than NOT DOING something. I am AF and I plan to stay that way. There is no battle, no struggle, no negotiation. I realize that I cannot control AL, therefore I will not consume it. Its goal is the same thing, to CONSUME ME, and I'll be dammed if I let that happen! AL has taken too much already, so NO MORE! Dig your heels in and stop fighting AL, you won't win. Instead, increase your resolve to stay sober...no matter what. It helps, and every single tool we can pull out in this war counts. Hang in everyone, you will never regret a day you spent sober! Byrdie

[KENSHO]

This is my favorite AF drink... funny article (and interesting comment on alcohol in our society):

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/08/magazine/letter-of-recommendation-lacroix-sparkling-water.html

[LilBit]

Hello everyone. I am sitting here just bawling -- so embarrassed, ashamed, sick to be a newbie again. I did so well when I first joined MWO years ago. Went completely AF for 3-4 months, and after that only drank moderately for quite some time. 'Thought I had it figured out, and little-by-little the old habits just crept back in. Now, I find myself doing some serious binging for days at a time. Everything in my life is beginning to suffer from this cursed addiction. I'm so scared. Can someone please just give me a hug?

[Overit-still]

LilBit-we've all been there. Tell us what's going on. I'm sorry you feel this way. Do you have some good liquids and food to get into you?

[Overit-still]

Good morning everyone. DOUBLE DIGITS for this chick today. :balloons: WOOT WOOT! I better enjoy it while it lasts. I only have 90 more days and then it's triple digits for a couple of years. :dancegirl:

Have a great day everyone! :sendflowers:

[LilBit]

Thanks for your reply, OverIt and congrats on your double digits. I'm sipping some lemon water. It seems to be the best thing. There's so much comfort in knowing I'm not the only one who's been here. It helps just reading that. I look like the southbound end of a northbound mule just now and my stomach is tied in a knot. 'Have been under tremendous work pressure lately, pulling 80-hour weeks. I think what brought this last binge on was my first day off work in forever and I told myself (a lie) that I could just have a little wine to help relax. Now, I feel like this thing got a hold of me and thrashed me around for a few days. Please just say one more time that you've been there?

[Overit-still]

LilBit-the stories I could tell! Just 11 days ago I was so wrung out, sitting in my dark house, hiding from the world, just trying to "relax" with a little drink. But relaxation is a lie, I was getting drunk. I never want to just relax or just get a buzz. Nope! That's a waste of a good dollar and a good time. But, I was hungover, alone, on the brink of divorce, wanting to call in sick at work the next day, hiding from friends because I looked and felt horrible, lying to everyone around me including the dog. UGH! I can even still smell myself. What a waste of life! The sun was shining, I had good food to be cooked, a husband to be lovn' on, and I was drunk!

Hang on! Open up the curtains for goodness sake! Take some time then go jump in a hot shower.

Check back in.

[Marylou123]

Hi LilBit,
Big hugs to you. We've all been there...and we're all in some stage of not being there! I know you must have felt good after 3-4 mos AF. And it feels even better the longer you are AF. I hated the guilt, shame, remorse, loneliness, ache, pains and injuries, not remembering squat so having to give in on everything discussed 'cuz I was trashed', the disappointment, depression, etc., etc., etc. All that is gone - along with AL in my life! Just yesterday I was reading a post I wrote more than a year ago about what I wanted by becoming AF. It brought tears to my eyes but for such a different reason than my tears when I wrote it. I felt like I was giving up my crutch, my best friend for these 'concepts' I thought I could have. IT WORKS!! Every single thing I thought would be good is, and has happened for me. And it will for you too. I was a daily binge drinker for years and years. So glad that's over, done with, gone, dead.

This community is loving and supportive. We will hug and love you whenever you ask. And we will encourage you all along the way.

[KENSHO]

Hugs, hugs, hugs LilBit!

Hang in there, it will all work out. You know you can abstain, and now you know for certain that "a little" won't work for you. Your post is so timely and helpful for me - as I, too, am struggling with a very stressful job. It tests my resolve as well, so you are not alone! We have to find other ways to de-stress or not take on as much to begin with, and I am not very good at it yet. Sending you support and kindness; you are among friends!