Newbies Nest

[Dutch1988]

Hang in there Lilbit, sounds like you have a lot of external pressure on ya! I can relate to binging on the days off. My work schedule ain't quite as hectic, but I do work six days a week, I started pouring them on Saturday for as long as possible because Sunday was my only day off to hangout wth my family. You can imagine how much I wanted to run around and hangout when I felt hungover almost everyone Sunday. Good luck! I'm sure if you stick around this page can be a great resource for you, I know it's helping me. Just being able to say what's really on my mind related to alcohol helps, and to hear some similar experiences really reassure that I am making the right decision.

Reading people's posts, it's clearly that even if I started drinking again it would only be a matter of time before I reverted back to my old ways. I haven't really enjoyed my sobriety so far, since martial arts and. Exercising are my only real hobbies and profession, song with my fun. I mean I watch tv and movies after work, but if I'm awake and I'm not spending time doing bs I have to do during the day to make a living, I'd rather be training. Getting a little discouraged here at day 10, but still not giving in. My wife's getting laid off today, she works till June but that's not going to be fun to come home to. She's wanted to go part time anyway, but maybe we can make no time work instead haha. Good luck with your guys day, I could type an easy on all the bs going on in my life but why magnify it right? Instead I'm just happy I have another day

[Overit-still]

Dutch, my husband was laid off in November. WHAT A TRANSITION! Let me tell you. Neither of us knew what to do with him. He 's finally getting the hang of it now. It's shocking how much money was spent on AL though so my quitting is really helping out. AND it's amazing the learning experience we have gone through as far as budget goes. You just don't realize what you can and want to do without when you are challenged in that way. It actually has been really freeing and just knowing how much we can actually SAVE when he does go back to work and a normal paycheck is astounding! As far as the training goes, just hang on. Rest is the only way to actually heal. I know it's hard. So, in saying that, in honor of you and my new life, I need to make sure I get my butt to the gym today, right? Have a good day my friend!

[Lavande]

Welcome back LilBit :hug:
Sorry you've had so much trouble but you made a great decision to come back here! You'll see lots of old friends still here
Make yourself a new plan & use what you have learned - moderation just doesn't work for most of us. Adopting a zero tolerance policy works every time

Lav

[jane27]

LilBit,
Make this the beginning of a beautiful & picturesque journey. Every one starts at the same place.

Overit, Congrats on banking double d's.:hug:

[Dutch1988]

Good morning everyone. DOUBLE DIGITS for this chick today. :balloons: WOOT WOOT! I better enjoy it while it lasts. I only have 90 more days and then it's triple digits for a couple of years. :dancegirl:

Have a great day everyone! :sendflowers:

Thanks overit! And think we are just going to have to try her not working, and see how it goes. On the flip side, congrats and double digits! let's hit the triple digits together! I can't even imagine what that would be like haha

[available]

Frances you bought back a great memory of how good it felt to not get home and have a craving for a drink. i remember white knuckling and so wanting a drink in that witching hour/s and then BOOM, the craving was just gone. Now after 15 months it is definitely in the past and thanks for bringing a smile to my face. Its amazing how far i have come on this journey and how much of a struggle it actually was in the beginning. The small achievements are the best.

Welcome Lil, settle in and get comfortable. get rid of the al out of your house, get rid of all the excuses you have to drink, leave your ego at the door and be very gentle on yourself. Its amazing what you can achieve with the above.

A four day weekend coming up for me and it is so needed. Work is a madhouse, home life the same but i do it all sober, each and every damn day and i dont think of al anymore. I am in a good place now in life. Busy trying to save for my thailand trip with my mum. I had my first holiday there last year sober after being af 90 days. That was a biggy for me to tell my mother who i could not stand i was not drinking and prove to her that i was doing it. She didnt believe in me and i dont blame her now but she is one very proud mother. she lost a son to al and i couldnt let her lose a daughter also. I love my mum so much more now, there is no resentment about my past there is just love and a lot of patience!

Take care everyone, you honestly dont need to drink.

[Resolve]

This has been one of those weeks where there seems to be more struggling going on with some at or reaching low points. We all hate to hear about it because we've all lived it and know how bad it is. I hope it helps to realize that you're part of what has to be the hardest working group of people you'll encounter. I don't have any other experience in life with people who are as committed to changing their lives and bettering themselves by working on this problem. Everyone comes here with the same affliction and at varying degrees of lowness or despair, and none of us are unique with that. The time we put into recovery involves a lot of self-work, introspection, reinforcement and strength that is there waiting to be tapped into, we just have to want it and be willing to work at it. There are solutions to help, support, real (and many) stories of success and you can refer to this point in life in the past tense soon enough. The lowness can absolutely end when you choose to stop fighting with what you will never win against. I didn't want to be a non-drinker, but I can't be a drinker. It became a painfully clear, easier answer to make that choice and then start living again.

I'm always struck by the fact that not only did it take too long for me to get this, but that the health implications alone didn't scare me straight. Actiongirl posted earlier this week about her procedure (and I'm glad it went well) and made the comment about not taking health for granted again. Yet that seems to be something we all do/did as drinkers. I've kicked the can down the road and deferred some of the routine, preventative type exams myself primarily because I wanted to get this under control first. This was one of my many not so good ideas, but somehow it was easy not focusing on what harm I was probably doing to myself, I'm guessing since it would seem like admission of a problem (or too much of a buzzkill). I'm sure it's common that many of us did this since I seemed fine with abusing my body for years yet didn't miss a workout, ate well and rested, all backed by my irrational belief that this provided offset to any real damage I might be causing. Let's hope so anyway. Fascinating really how many of us have been into exercise and our supposed good health while ingesting alcohol way beyond any reasonable healthy measures. I'm having the same procedure next week and also scheduled a physical which I haven't done in nearly 5 years. I feel well and have no real concerns and won't worry about it now unless I have to.

I suppose we can't settle up with damage from the past and can only hope our bodies are forgiving and healing. It's a great reward to feel we've gotten a clean slate and clean bill of health when we're on the recovery path, not to mention great motivation to not take that for granted again.

[LilBit]

OverIt, you're a lifesaver. Let's see...

Dark house -- check
Hiding from the world -- check
Hungover, alone -- check
Brink of divorce (or broken engagement in my case) -- check
Actually did call in sick -- check
Hiding from friends - check
Lying to everyone including the dog (and the cat, who just didn't buy it) -- check, check

It's funny how a lot of people experience this disease in the same way -- dark and alone. How horrid! But I took your advice to heart. The hot shower helped and I forced myself to keep a massage appointment. 'Had almost cancelled it because I was very self-conscious about smelling like a vat of wine but I have an understanding masseuse and so I just bit the bullet, popped a peppermint in my mouth and went. It was great to get out and walk in the sunshine and the massage plus glasses and glasses of lemon water are helping. It's virtually impossible to feel unhappy while walking down Market Street in San Francisco in 65-degree bright sunshine, listening to the street musicians.

Now, I have to set about staying this way. The bright side to being a relapse queen is that it's familiar territory and I know what to do. The down side, of course, is that I have to make a more sound plan this time and do a better job of sticking to it. But, it's people like you that help so much. You have no idea how much I needed your friendly post. Thanks and thanks and thanks a million. I hope we'll be seeing each other here as we celebrate victories, including your triple digits and mine!

[LilBit]

Many thanks to MaryLou, KENSHO, Dutch, Lavande (I remember you!), Jane, Available and Resolve for stepping in and saying "Hi" back to me. I really needed it. When you're down, it's such a lifeline to talk with others who understand.

Yes, I think this time around modding will not be a part of my plan. Some people can do it. I just can't. It's better to just admit it and say goodbye to my "old friend." With friends like that, huh? So, I dismantled my wine bar. Removed all the bottles and turned it into a cat perch (Crazy Ivan is grateful). I'm also one of those people who exercises regularly and otherwise leads an active, healthy lifestyle. It's so darned ironic that I turn around and do this to and with my body. Or, let's say that I USED to do it, because today is Day One. I've flung wide the blackout curtains and apologized to the dog for lying. He's remarkably forgiving when one has salami on hand. :thumbsup:

[Overit-still]

I'm only 10 days ahead of you LilBit! Trust me....if I can do this, ANYONE can!

[Guitarista]

Hello everyone,

Good to see you here Lilbit. I have been back and forth like a championship tennis ball too many times. These days for me it would still be easy to fall back into the grind of 'moderation', but i know from personal experience, this is not what drinking looks like for me. When a craving hits, or just thoughts/fantasies of having a few quiet ones (ha!), i forcibly remind myself that this is the time i need to reinforce and remember my commitment to my health. My commitment to caring for myself.

As long as i stay connected with the real world, and by that i mean trying to spend time with people and situations that i like, doing things i love (not always possible but i can do my best), i'm in with a good chance at reclaiming my precious life.

Life can be great and amazing. 'Frisco sounds cool this time of year! :spin:

Just do your best friend. G

[Byrdlady]

Just do your best friend. G

G,
Sometimes doing your best friend doesn't help... :yikes1:
ehehehe......B

(Give that man a comma, Nurse!!)

[Overit-still]

Byrd, I just spit my coffee out into my bag, for heaven's sake!

[jane27]

Speaking of spitting out coffee, I took a sip this morning and it went down the wrong pipe...it felt like I inhaled it. As soon as I felt it happen I opened up my mouth to let what was left fall out onto the rug, but my God, the bit that got down took one heck of a long time to clear. I now get why they say a person can drown in just inches of water. This was probably a teaspoon worth of coffee! Scary!

[LilBit]

Hello everyone,

'Frisco sounds cool this time of year!

Thanks, Guitarista. So I guess I'm not the only one who's come to the conclusion that modding just isn't for me. It's not worth the very high cost.

SF is great almost any time of year, although summers can be cool & foggy. I just need to stay the heck out of Napa. :happy2: One of the reasons why I moved here is because there's always something interesting to do, which should help with my fledgling AF efforts. Busy is key for me. And chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate.