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    Hanna I'm in, and I love reading how much better everyone's lives are without drinking. I found out a guy in his forties passed today from cancer, very sad when I think about how young he was. My AL brain was telling me what's the point, you never know when it's going to be all over so why not enjoy a drink now. I think I'd rather enjoy whatever time I have left sober instead. But seriously, am I just focusing on the negative stuff in my life or what, it seems like everyday there's some new depressing thing that makes me feel like drinking, oh well. Better just enjoy what I have, gnite all.

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      I am making today my day 1.....needed to read more and get my brain in gear. It has been so long since I have sat down and read here. That is my plan for today.
      IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
      Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

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        Hello all,
        It's been a couple of years since I posted on MWO. I have been struggling with my addiction for years, and although I have been able to stay dry for months at a time, I have not been able to kill the beast. As of recently I am not able to abstain for even a day. Once 5:00 roles around I am out the door, down to the corner shop, and before diner is finished I have polished off a bottle of wine. My brain does not function as it used to. I get very little done during the day, and I am just unhappy. The cycle must end, so today I am returning the the MWO nest, and will white knuckle it in order to get through day 1 sober. I look forward to getting to know you all.
        While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.
        Benjamin Franklin

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          Hi NT and welcome back. 5 used to be my witching hour too every single day ending in a Y. At the end of my drinking i was so unhappy but just did not know what to do. I did realise i could not keep carrying on unless i did something. Thankfully i made giving up al my whole focus. If i could give up al then everything else surely would fall into place and it has. When i stopped al, i used to walked in the door and have a shower, put my pj's on as then i knew i could not be bothered to go out again. Change your routine, keep on here like a lunatic and post and read. Change your routine and be kind to yourself in the early days and months. Each and every day sober is a good day for us alkies and i appreciate every single one of mine.
          AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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            Hi Available,

            Thank you for your note, and your advice about changeing my routine. That makes a great deal of sense, I will but that into action today. Have a great one!
            While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us.
            Benjamin Franklin

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              LavBlue,
              I am heading out the door, but if I might make an impassioned plea to you on the Anti depressants....try everything else BEFORE you resort to a pill! If I had to do the last 10 years over, I can easily see that AD's were the beginning of the downward spiral for me. If I had engaged in some therapy with a good counselor, I would have avoided ALL of the associated SIDE EFFECTS of AD's. For me, it escalated my drinking...I KNOW you aren't drinking now, but it still numbs you over. The lows aren't as low, but the highs aren't very high either. I was a dang zombie. My blood pressure began increasing 6 months after I began AD's until there at the end (5 years later) I was on 3 BP meds. Of course, the BP meds put other things out of kilter, so it was a game of whack the weasel. The root cause was AD's! Then when I got off of them, that was a whole NEW experience in Hell-Week. If you are having anxiety and panic attacks, please try to get a therapist to help you deal with them as a way of life...learn new coping skills! I am sure that AD's help a lot of people, but I'm also convinced that Dr's give them out like candy! They are serious meds with serious side effects. Just look under the withdrawal symptoms of say, Cymbalta! There are 100's of people on those forums hopping mad because they had NO idea of the hideous withdrawal symptoms.
              Sorry to be so long winded about this, but I really am passionate in my belief that learning how to cope with life will serve you 1000 times better than adding a pill.
              Learned this one the hard way.
              Out the door early this morning! Hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie
              All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
              Tool Box
              Newbie's Nest

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                Good morning Nesters & happy Tuesday!

                Great to see so many checking in overnight

                Welcome back not tonight! Glad you decided to return to MWO & take back control of your life!

                LavBlue, I have to agree with Byrdie on the AD - try everything else first if you can. I lived for several years with that overall numb feeling & it wasn't truly living plus it did not make me want to drink any less. I think, at least for me the fear of failure just overwhelmed me! We are all a lot stronger than we think we are, honestly. Changing our thinking takes a bit of work but the results awesome!

                I have to run myself for an early dental appointment - lucky me!!
                Wishing everyone a terrific AF Tuesday!

                Lav
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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                  Welcome back Not Tonite - stick around again, these guys insisted on it when I was in my deepest & darkest despairs.

                  It really helps - keep moving forward. Let out what you need to let out on here & make sure you give your body and mind the vital things it needs - water, good nutrition, some light activity and good sleep. That's a start

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                    Happy Birthday Hanna!
                    Last edited by abcowboy; March 10, 2015, 08:14 AM.
                    Quitting and staying quit isn't easy, its learning a whole new way of thinking. It's accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
                    Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
                    Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

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                      Good morning from the great state of Texas.
                      Just flying by while I have a minute, going to be training all day.
                      Hope everyone has a great one!
                      AF 08~05~2014


                      There is a 100% chance I can't do this by myself! ~ Me

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                        Welcome back Not Tonight. I'll be with you today in thought and effort. Get over to Roll Call, log this big day 1. You CAN do this...we CAN do this together.

                        See Roll Call in my signature block below.
                        Achieved Goals: Getting Back to Working on This Project!
                        Goal In Progress...1 YEAR

                        Instructions on posting to Roll Call:

                        Go forward boldly and unafraid

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                          Daisy, good for you! Reading these posts is a lifeline. And remember, Day 1 is always the lowest point. It only gets better from here.
                          "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

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                            Notonight, I love your user name. It's what I tell my fiancee all the time. Welcome back. I am a returner myself, with almost a week AF under my belt and feeling like a new person already. You can do this. And yes, changing one's routine is so helpful. Whatever you have to do, no matter how weird it may seem -- do it. And remind yourself that you no longer have to lug home that heavy bottle like a ball & chain. Freedom is yours!
                            "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

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                              Happy Birthday Hanna. 54 is the new 34. I'm sure it looks great on you. :love:
                              "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

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                                Happy Birthday Hanna!!
                                Mary Lou

                                A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. Winston Churchill

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