Newbies Nest

[Turnagain]

One guy got up and said, 'you need a wine!' I said, no, Im just fine, REALLY. Three times...oh just have one, BE SOCIAL with us! I said, Im sitting here talking up a storm, I really dont want one and besides, I love it, but IT doesn't love me, and I pointed to my tummy ( as if I had an ulcer or something). Nothing else said.

T-Byrdie (aka TOUGH Byrdie) You are my idol. I like the vague intestinal distress reply. You were also far more gracious with this incessant fellow than I would've been. I would've pointed to my butt and let his imagination go wild with thoughts of flatulent alcohol-induced flutterings.

This would be especially good if it could be followed up by a really odiferous SBD!!!!!!! All those imbibers would be casting the stink eye at each other instead of the real culprit!

Hey - it's not even Friday and I'm already making FART jokes. Who says you can't have fun sober????

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see everyone checking in

Resolve, pretty soon you'll be like Rahul traveling the world with a diet Coke in hand, feeling strong & proud!

Byrdie, why didn't you give that guy your 'It's not your colon' speech? Ha ha!!

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest. Can't believe we are getting snow tomorrow on the first day of spring...crap.

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Lav, I should have!
Back to the hotel, i am spent. Its about 8:30 but I dont care, Im going to bed. Seeing one more relative tomorrow and then I will be home! All good from here. Byrdie

[LavenderBlue]

Checking in! Been busy and my mood just switched to "meh" out of nowhere. The good thing is I know it's temporary - it's taken me a while, but I don't freak out as much anymore when I hit a "meh" day for no reason. I'm finally remembering that it's likely at least partly still healing, and the feeling will pass. I'm remembering that these days used to cycle a lot more often, but they're getting less common, which is also good. Going to have a nice, quiet evening and plan to get things done tomorrow. I usually feel better when I've really gotten something done. In the meantime I'm telling myself it's ok to feel off, the thing to do is just take care of myself and trust that it'll pass.

So much love and support to everyone struggling with so much more than a case of, "meh." We've got such strong folks here, and I'm so glad to hear you all reaffirming that you've got this, and you don't need AL.

[Pavati]

Hi,

I look forward to posting here, too.

I am off on a long weekend vacation - might have less time to check in, but I definitely will not drink.

Hope you all have good plans to stay sober this weekend. I'm with you, Resolve, stick a pillar in front of my view, and give me a burger!

Pav

[jane27]

Pav, that is so awesome. Are you actually going away, or going camping? Hope you have a great time and catch up on rest. Xo

[not tonight]

Good morning all

So today we are expecting a solar eclipse, which is exciting. Hopefully my son and his friends will not look directly at it. I have a longstanding business lunch this afternoon, which usually includes a bottle of wine. I feel strong in my resolve not to drink, just still contemplating what my excuse will be. Funny, you never have to have a excuse for not having coffee or desert. Turning those down shows restraint and discipline. But when you pass on the booze, even in the middle of the day, you practically need a doctor's excuse. Any way, this shall be the first of many.

Raul, I liked you use of a column as a defense barrier between you and the beer. Why are airports such a trigger for drinking. If I am in one, no matter how early in the morning, I always feel entitled to drink. Sort of an "airtime law" in place that suspends all inhibitions and social graces. Anyway, well done.

Moss Rose I hope today is peaceful for you and your family.
Looking forward to another sober weekend. Hope everyone has a happy, productive and sober Friday!

[Byrdlady]

Morning check in. All good. Heading home today! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters, happy Friday & first day of Spring - even though it's snowing here........

Byrdie, have a safe trip home!

NT, the best excuse in the world to use is the truth - 'No thanks, I feel better when I don't drink' said in a firm voice with a smile on your face

Wishing everyone a great AF Friday!

Lav

[LilBit]

Happy Friday, Nesters.

When something is bugging or concerning me, I usually dream about tornadoes or snakes. Last night, an exquisitely beautiful, yet deadly golden rattlesnake was loose in my house, slithering from room-to-room, hiding in closets, behind furniture, in the cat's bed. Horrified, I told my fiance, "There's a dangerous snake in here. We have to do something." He shushed me and told me it was all in my imagination. So, I waited. And I knew it was stalking me.

When the serpent slithered around the doorway heading straight toward me to wage its final attack, I grabbed a thick blanket. He plunged into it, and we wrestled for what seemed a long time. The creature seemed to have superhuman strength. I worried that it would bite me through the blanket. Eventually, I saw the outline of the snake's horrid head with wide open mouth gasping for air as it pitched wildly back and forth. To my amazement, the blanket was suffocating it. I held fast to its writhing neck as it strained against my grip and finally went limp.

In the dream, I very carefully picked up the blanket to discard its contents, remembering some advice from an old uncle, "Be careful handling dead snakes' bodies. They can still bite you, even after they're dead."

Wonder what I was dreaming about?

[jane27]

Interesting dream LilBit- so rich in detail. I'm no expert but the part that struck me was your fiance infantilizing you by dismissing your fear about the snake and telling you it was all your imagination. Based on that, I'll ask you, do you feel like he doesn't accept or understand the degree to which AL has control over you? Or maybe you haven't shared with him the truth about it because you're worried that he's just going to pat you on the head and say it will be okay. What is your AL bev of choice? Is it golden in color (white wine?).

[KENSHO]

Lil Bit, at a pivotal moment in my quit, I drempt of a bear coming to attack me. I remember it vividly. In this dream, I felt that I had two options with this threat. I could run for the door to the house, or I could pick up scissors on the steps and fight. In a flash, I decided to pick up the scissors. The dream ended there, but it felt much like yours, that I was alone and with a fight on my hands - and I chose to fight. It was right at the time when I was beginning to understand that this alcohol wasn't going to be a part of my life any more. Thanks for sharing!

Overit, I was very tired for a few weeks after quitting. I think our bodies are adjusting to a new normal without the constant sugar and acid of alcohol. It lessens over time. Rest, relax and let your body heal! Your quit is the most important thing now!

I hope everyone has a good friday! First day of spring - we have sunshine and birds chirping. I love it and need the light!

[KENSHO]

Overit, I wanted to add that I can't say enough about Vit-D, Vit-B12, and lots of water. I really notice fatigue when I don't keep up on these. Everyone's different, but I think that particularly B12 is one that alcohol strips from us, and I read that many drinkers are very deficient. I also would take a look at your diet and make sure you're getting good protein and lots of fruits and veg. I still eat chocolate and junk here and there - but as long as I make sure to get plenty of the good stuff, my cravings for junk go down and I have lots of energy!

[Overit-still]

Lilbit-Your dreams are vivid aren't they? Holy cow! I can't remember mine by the time I eat breakfast unless something happens during the day and POW I remember it. Dreams are weird. Jane had some interesting insights though. I'm curious about your answers.

Another busy day at work:checkin:today.

It's interesting how we're all up and down and in different stages of needing support from one day to the next. So thankful that we have each other right at the right time.

Kensho-thanks for your comments on the vitamins.

Everyone is so busy in the nest, we might need to add some more straw soon.

Have a great day everyone. I'll check back in later.

[LavenderBlue]

Thinking back over the last few days, wanted to add my two cents about people who don't get quitting AL. I'm not married, but the reason I moved back to my hometown years ago was to help out my mother. She's got MS and does alright, but is alone in the house otherwise; and when she was diagnosed my brother had just gotten married (well, the first time) so it made more sense for me to come home.

Anyway, it's been awkward with her in part just because we are mother and daughter so don't always get along to begin with! But also because my dad is an alcoholic, sober for years now but not when I was a kid. One of the reasons my mom divorced him was his drinking, moreso how it was affecting my brother and me. Her sister also seems to have a drinking problem, but doesn't want to address it. So my mom gets that drinking problem=bad, but doesn't really understand the "quitting is hard" part since dad did that long after they split up. I remember early into my quit she'd asked if I would rather she got her liquor out of the house, which was great, but then the week after she asked if I could run by the liquor store for her and it initially really pissed me off. I've tried to compare it with smoking, which she's been unable to quit, but I've been addicted to both and AL is definitely a different beast in a lot of ways.

For me, I've had to balance just being patient with trying to communicate the best I can. I think the biggest problem for us is partly that she's worried that she may have enabled me to drink and partly that now that I'm not she'd like for me to be able to just pick up where I left off with my life. I don't think she means to push as much as she wants me to be happy, and sometimes quitting hasn't exactly put me in the best mood. It's hard for me because I've had to be very honest about, "The reason I don't want to do *thing* right now is I'm concerned it will be a trigger for me to drink." I usually prefer to be all, "It's ok, I got this;" so it's getting used to saying "no" and also getting used to being honest about where my weaknesses are. Added to that, I don't want to make it sound like a threat, "If you push me to do this I'm going to drink" would be a crappy way of coming off!

I don't know if that will help anyone, but those are thoughts that were jumping around in my head, anyway. I think with my friends it's awkward in that folks who *get* it, get it and those who don't just really don't. And with my friends I don't always want to get into all the details about how bad I was. Which is perfectly fine, it just means I have to remember that when they good naturedly ask if I want to go out for St Pat's or similar. They're not trying to tank my quit in most cases, they just are lucky enough not to get how an alcoholic's brain works!