Newbies Nest

[LilBit]

My first thought is "I gotta be me!"

In my case, AL stripped away so much that I didn't even realize it at the time. It took all my confidence, I couldn't remember what I had said, so I had no conviction anymore. I always felt defeated and anxious. I didn't stand up for myself, I guess, because I didn't think I was worth it. All I cared about was being in a position to have my next drink-fest. Not a very pretty picture. Once life mattered again, the relationship with my hubs changed, too. I wasn't always apologizing anymore, or giving in because I felt guilty or couldn't remember. I stood up for myself, and that was a big change for me. This really is a period of growth, LilBit. My friend, Kuya, used to say that whatever age we got hooked on this stuff, our emotional maturity froze in time. I believe that. I had 30-cough,cough years of growing up to do. I believe that I am now all balanced out now, and have been for some time, but it was an adjustment to get here.
Maybe you are seeing the relationship thru a clearer set of eyes now? It may take some getting used to. Now that your AL isn't to blame, perhaps he doesn't like where the finger is pointing!!! (pun intended!!) Hugs to you....stand your ground, you are worth it. Byrdie

Great post, Byrdie and spot on -- thanks so much. You described me perfectly, then and now. There's nothing worse than passively sitting by and watching yourself be trampled upon because you can't remember what you said in an argument and/or you only want another drink. Not this time, though. LilBit has become a "Little Bit of bite your finger off if you keep poking me."

[abcowboy]

Morning nester's! A great morning to enjoy coffee without a hangover, but then every morning is great now! Today is a busy day for milestones, I usually go to the person's favorite thread to congratulate them, but since most of todays milestoners post in the Nest, I'll do it here if you all don't mind!

MossRose on 8 months, frances on 4 months, and Soft Focus, enzo'smom (jenniech), and mywayin each celebrating 3 months!

[Byrdlady]

Wow, AB, you put the Prize Patrol to shame!
Look at all the Mile Stoners!!! Incredible! I dont ever remember as much success as we are currently having! Well done to all! Every day we put between us and AL is a win!
Hope everyone has an easy day! Holler if you need us! Byrdie

[abcowboy]

Byrdie, I check in on the roll call everyday to watch you and El give out the prizes! It is a great job the Prize Patrol does! As you can see, I go by calendar months, and you guys keep track of days, much harder than a simple calendar reminder!

[KENSHO]

Good morning everyone. Beautiful here. I got to sleep in after a really hard week, and that was wonderful! Planning on a quiet, relaxing weekend here before the next crazy week comes. Relaxing is actually so much easier sober.

[Lavande]

Good afternoon Nesters!

Woke up to the fabulous sound of my grandson throwing up = gag
Honestly, I had forgotten that the schools are such germ factories, yuck. Hopefully it's just a 24 hr virus.

CONGRATS to all those receiving prizes today - great
Cowboy, good job on prize patrol too!!!!

Wishing everyone a good AF Day. It's chilly here with snow flurries flying around, seriously!

Lav

[Hypernova]

Relaxing is actually so much easier sober.

This is so true. I find I can get into the quiet mode and relax much more quickly AF. I find it so relaxing to relax. The system doesn't seem to always be so hyped up. Plus the added bonuses of: not having to ~ earn money to buy booze, no energy spent opening, pouring, ingesting, less frequent bathroom trips, no getting rid of empties & wasted energy thinking should I have another, etc...........
ahhhhh........... deep relaxation allows you to recreate/restore yourself plus it is so relaxing.:happy2:

---

Looked up recreate and the word they listed as one that rhymes w/ it is inebriate ...... amusing me thinks. Time for a relaxing nap

[MossRose]

Hi everyone. I had to drop in and express my gratitude to all of you. I never would have made it this far if it wasn't for the love and support I have received on MWO. A special shout out to Lav and Byrdie. You both reached out to me in the very beginning. You wouldn't accept my excuses, and in the end, you saved me from myself. xoxoxo.

I spend a lot of time on the holistic and gardening threads these days, but that's what keeps me strong. I have found my passion again, and I am grateful that everyone here just lets me blather on. Any time I am even remotely tempted, I remember what I will be giving up. My house is organized, my life is running smoothly, my career is moving forward, and my relationships are healing. I am at peace....well, most of the time

Congrats Frances, Soft Focus, enzo'smom, and mywayin!! It's a great feeling isn't it? Life just keeps getting better.

[Guitarista]

Good onya Mossy, Frances, Soft focus, Enzo'mum, My way in! Congratulations milestoner's!

Pull up a twig if you are struggling out there. Know that you can beat this and reclaim your precious, precious life.

Passing the butt velcro to the..........................................right ! G

[A new page]

Morning nester's! A great morning to enjoy coffee without a hangover, but then every morning is great now! Today is a busy day for milestones, I usually go to the person's favorite thread to congratulate them, but since most of todays milestoners post in the Nest, I'll do it here if you all don't mind!

MossRose on 8 months, frances on 4 months, and Soft Focus, enzo'smom (jenniech), and mywayin each celebrating 3 months!

Congrats on the milestones! Fantastic everyone!

[Lavande]

Well, good evening Netsers,

All is quiet in my house now (sick kid has gone home, ha ha). I'm sure he'll be fine

MR, glad you are doing so well & have found your peace :hug:

Wishing everyone a super safe & cozy night in the nest!!!!!

Lav

[available]

hi nesters

A beautiful day in Ausland, bit chilly in the mornings now and dark, winter is coming.

Bit stressed, kids coming to visit with their father. Before in my drunken days i would have gone with the flow and just had him here, he was a great drinking husband. Now i really dont want to be around him, he is my past but maybe facing the past is what i need. Want to throttle kids as they didnt even ask, just said they were coming over. God i hate just grinning and looking happy. oh well, i am grateful i am not married to the useless sod anymore i suppose.

Ok rant over, sorry! im going shopping and may shout myself something to cheer me up.

Oh lav, i thought i was going to be told i was going to be a nana the other day, so excited and nope! She is changing jobs. one day! She just laughed at me and asked if i wet myself in anticipation!

Keep strong and take care.

[MossRose]

Ava, hang tough, friend. Your ex sounds a bit like mine. Great drinking buddy, but useless in all other ways. I found out a couple of days ago that mine is getting married again. That man sure is the marrying kind. LOL. Well, at least we have each other. And that's a good thing.

[LilBit]

Before in my drunken days i would have gone with the flow and just had him here, he was a great drinking husband. Now i really dont want to be around him, he is my past but maybe facing the past is what i need.

Available and Moss, I'm beginning to suspect that I may have one of those. He alternates between annoyingly codependent and incredibly boring. It's not quite 6 pm and he's passed out on the sofa already. I actually found myself relieved because I don't have to deal with him. 'Hope everyone here forgives my relationship rants these days. If they go on for too long, I'm sure The Stella will set me straight.

On to something positive. Last night showed my level of resolve. Still in the throes of a tough work week and in the middle of a major fight with the fiance, I went to a friend's place for an overnight dog-sitting adventure. My friend had unknowingly set out a bunch of lovely wines for me and had crates of them all over his loft. Before, I would have been diving in head-first, but this time I focused my attention on the little doggy and made it through without a sip. I did raid his chocolate stash, though.

[MossRose]

Lilbit - I don't think we have talked much, so please forgive me - I tend to be too honest at times. Are you married to this man? If not, ask yourself the tough questions. Is this how you envision your future? Is this the person you want to be with - for better or for worse, in sickness and in health? Those are serious questions, that deserve serious consideration. Whatever you have now is what you will have forever. It won't get any better.

But on a happier note, chocolate is all good.