Newbies Nest

[LilBit]

Hiya, MossRose. No, we're not married, thank heavens -- and have no children. He's a lot younger than me, and I guess I hoped he would begin to get his act together by now. But you're so right. I'm facing some tough decisions here and they can't be based on wishes and unicorns.

The one saving grace is that it's SO motivating to see what I would be like if I kept drinking. It's freaking disgusting -- the lack of motivation for anything but AL, the irrational behavior followed by remorse, the smell, the puffy appearance...YUK!

Thanks for your response. It's really helping me to stay strong.

[Overit-still]

Checking in late tonight, still on my phone do forgive the errors. Good to see everyone.

Looking for Hanna, Daisy, Dutch.....who else?

LilBit, I'm surprised he still has the title of Fiancé?

Congrats to all the milestones this weekend! We are really rockin' this thing aren't we?

I gotta get some sleep so I can drive the 8 hours home tomorrow. Mom is surprisingly well. Imagine that! Her 79th birthday is on Wednesdsy.

Thanks for the Velcro G, passing to the right!

[Pavati]

Hi, all:

Older son was in a car accident - hit his head and foot, but not too badly. Everyone was ok, but it shook us all up. I have had one of those weeks when I have had to take a lot of deep cleansing breaths and try to collect myself. Alcohol is so quick to relieve that initial stress, but also so quick to numb any feelings. I hugged both kids extra tight tonight.

Congratulations on all of those big milestones. Jennie - where are you to collect your prize?!

Lil - you have a very rational attitude. Post away - whatever you need to get help and stay sober. I think that knowing so much about the effects of alcohol would make me irritated to live with a big drinker (mine drinks, but he's the type who can forget he poured a drink - wtf?), knowing what he is doing to himself. I wish you clarity and strength as you try to figure things out.

Good night, Nest. Hope you are all well.

Pav

[Dutch1988]

I'm here overit, made it and tomorrow makes three weeks for me.

Lilbit I can't imagine your situation, my wife doesn't drink and it's made my whole quit much easier. My twin having a drink around me almost 2 weeks ago was tough. But I guess it's a good reminder.

I spent the past 5 hours having a blast with my wife at a friends wedding. The open bar barely bothered me, and the mass of folks getting sloshed around me didn't either. I have a lot of happy memories with my wife I'm going to remember, and I am actually starting to question if alcohol would have made me enjoy the experience anymore...

Tomorrow is 3 weeks. Coming up on a month which would be the longest I haven't drank for years. Gnite all!

[available]

Lil only you can decide where you want your future to lead. At the moment just prioritise your quit, the big decisions can come when your sober muscles are stronger! My ex was drinking today and when he left he left his cans and empty smoke packet on the table. Still thinks i am his maid after all of these years, amazing! its amazing i had the courage to say i had had enough seven years ago and leave but then my drinking got out of control. Now its in control and i dont have my ex, win, win!

MR my ex is engaged to my ex best friend who i have known since i was 11. we are not divorced as he doesnt work and be damned if i am paying for all of our divorce! It annoys her no end too but she can always give him the money. Is the bitch in me!

Pav i am glad your son is okay. We never stop worrying. My 27 year old visited and drove home today and she always has to message me to say she is safely at home.

Dutch great work on enjoying the wedding, so many occasions i think i remember but its really only flashes. Now i remember everything and it makes me smile. Great work on 3 weeks. I never thought i could manage 3 weeks when i stopped and i just kept on going and going and have never looked back.

[Overit-still]

Dutch, SO proud of you! I'm sure your wife is ecstatic too? Great job!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Sunny & below freezing here - what happened to spring??

Ava, MR & Lil, just go ahead & complain away. Better to let it out & not internalize all those feelings
Glad you are all here & moving forward in your AF lives, yay!

Overit, glad you are OK & got to see your Mom! Wishing you safe travels :hug:

Pav, glad to hear your son is OK. It's frightening when our kids grow & get out there in the world with everyone else. I still worry about mine, will never stop I'm sure.

Dutch, great that you enjoyed an AL free wedding celebration! See? It can be done
Congrats on your 3 AF weeks, great job!!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Sunday!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Morning, nesters!
Pav, how scary about your son. Life can change in the blink of an eye. Squeeze him extra tight.
Lots of strength being displayed! I couldnt concieve of being AF ONE DAY let alone a week! It is a new way of thinking. After all these days (1530) there isnt a doubt in my mind that I would pick right back up where I left off. The thought of JUST one isnt what Im all about. I dont want just one, it starts up that awful MACHINE of getting MORE. So, none is best. 'Not one, not ever' is my motto. So far, so good.

Hope evryone has an easy day today!!! MindPeace, Byrdie

[LilBit]

Morning, Nesters!

Overit, I have titles for him other than fiance, it's just that my polite Southern upbringing prevents me from posting them here.

Pav, thanks for the good wishes, and I'm glad your son wasn't seriously injured. Whew. And, it would be hard to be around someone who enjoys drinking but -- and I never thought about this before -- when AL is a problem, the drinker seems to go straight to the ill effects without any enjoyment. For example, my fiance/whatever doesn't sit around and sip a beer after work. Instead, he's guzzling his second one while looking for his bottle of liquor. What a cheat this AL is!

Dutch, good for you on getting through the wedding sober! I've wondered what such an event would be like, with most everyone else drinking. 'Kinda figured I'd hang out with the kids who were having the real fun. BTW, you and I are "quit twins" as I just passed the 3-week milestone, too. Onward to our month!

Yes, Available -- so right about thoughtfully making the decision when I'm ready. I invested 8 years in this relationship and so I'm not going to throw it out the window without some serious introspection. But what the heck is the deal with their thinking we're the morning shift at the Day's Inn??

Lav, I'm glad you didn't succumb to a case of the little one's "hurlies."

Byrdie, well said. There's no more "just one." Sometimes, when I read your posts it's like you're reading my mind. Maybe it just shows how alike we all are.

Well, back to work on a Sunday (yuk) but I am so grateful for an amazing work-at-home job and being able to charge my client by the hour, which takes some of the sting out of it. Cha-ching! Hope you all have a warm and peaceful day.

[LilBit]

Oops...double post. My computer must be balking at having to work the weekend.

[ALpro]

Looking for Hanna, Daisy, Dutch.....who else?

Kailey? Suek?

[frances]

Pav so sorry to hear about your son's accident - thank goodness he and everyone else is okay! I always worry when my kids ride with other teens just because of the inexperience. They are both on high school sports teams and need to do that every once in awhile for transportation to their games. I prefer them to ride with the coaches but that doesn't always happen. In any case, we can only do so much I guess. Glad you aren't turning to Al to try to relieve the stress!

[LavenderBlue]

Poking my head in quick - still here and my wrist is most of the way better now. I remember a time I would have been doing that shoveling drunk and would have hurt myself worse, probably fallen and landed on my butt for good measure, too.

Had an interesting moment over the weekend; I was getting snappish (in my head at least, not letting myself take it out on other people) and then out of nowhere a drink sounded good. I stopped what I was doing and was trying to figure out where all THAT came from, and I realized that I was crabby because of my wrist, bored, and a few things hadn't gone quite right. Normally not a big deal, but when combined with being nervous knowing that I'll have health insurance soon (which means I have to really start digging into things) and that I've been trying to eat better...flipped my brain right over. I dropped the stressful stuff for the night, had an extra snack (including Girl Scout cookies, nummy!) and am doing much better today.

It doesn't sound like much, but for me it was really a step forward as far as making myself really *think* about why I was craving instead of just trying to push past it, if that makes sense? Pushing past is good sometimes, too, don't get me wrong; but I tend to either ONLY think about stressful things or block them all out as fast as I can. So it felt good to know I can sit with some of those feelings long enough to...well, long enough to really feel them, I suppose. It also reminded me that I've been dreaming about my ex on and off. When that happens, I always avoid eye contact in the dream and wish for him to just go away. I think that started as a good thing since I was too forgiving of the crap he put me through and I needed to stop feeling responsible for him, but I'm thinking I need to admit that I have a lot of unresolved issues there that won't go away just because I want them to be done, if that makes sense. I never really forgave myself for staying with him, I just shoved everything away as hard as I could and tried to start over that way.

I'm glad I'm coming at things sober now, it really is the only way I'm going to actually get the fresh start that I want and I know I deserve. Good thoughts to everyone, I've got to take care of the dog and get ready to head out the door. Mom wants to putter around some local stores and hoped I'd come along.

And Pav, glad your son is ok!

[Hanna]

Hi nesters

Pav wow. So glad your son is ok.

Just a quick check in. Hanging on and just trying to breathe. Not going to drink though.
That's it for now

[Dutch1988]

Happy Sunday all!

Just checking in fast, going to head over to my folks with their grand kid for a little fun for them. I didn't think about it till later but I went from being worried at about a 1.5 hour comedy show one week to chilling at a 6 hour wedding the next. Thanks for all the positive feedback everyone.