Newbies Nest

[Hypernova]

Checking in w/day 18 behind me. A lot of positive vibes on this board. Gives a sense of balance w/ the rest of the world seemingly on tilt. Thanks Available, Matt & Moss ~ I appreciate your thoughts. I hope everyone enjoys tomorrow whether you celebrate Easter or not (AF of course):happy2:

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

Welcome, NewLife! They said it above... My story sounds a lot like yours (minus the DUIs, thankfully). I REALLY didn't want to be an alcoholic. My sister functions normally. A long line of alcoholics. Good job, never missed work, but went with hangovers... My two favorite lines were, "I have to learn to control my drinking because I don't want to have to quit forever," and "I'm not an alcoholic, I just am an alcohol abuser."

Honestly, it was such a fat RELIEF to finally admit to myself that, try as I may, I was never going to have real control over alcohol as long as I kept drinking it. I tool all of my power back by not drinking it in the first place. I found freedom from the constant babble in my head - how much? when? guilt! fear! You have come to a great place to get support and get sober. Pull up a branch and get settled.

Ava - packing two weeks ahead? That is some pretty organized planning. I'm impressed.

Byrdie - you should post some pictures of your cakes here. I'd love to see them!

I started off very anxious today, but had a great day doing fun things in the sunshine with people I love. I am feeling better, and ready for a good night's sleep.

Happy Sober Saturday!
Pav

[jane27]

:welcome: Welcome NewLife!

[Dutch1988]

Welcome newlife! I hope this forum becomes a way for you to find support and guidance! It's definitely helped me

[daisy45]

Coming back again. Partying and drinking are everywhere right now. I will need to hide away to get through today.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters & Happy Easter to those celebrating.

Daisy, please, please stay put. We can't help if you keep wandering away!

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a wonderful AF day for all

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
This is a great place to be on Easter morning!
NewLife, welcome aboard. We are so glad you're here. When I first arrived, I was scared to death at the thought if losing my crutch, AL. Didn't know how I was going to do ONE day, let alone 30! Sounds as if you have tried quitting before, how long were you able to abstain? How long since your last drink? Getting and staying sober is a SKILL that can be learned! And practice makes perfect! The irony of the whole thing is that the thing I feared most, being without AL totally, has turned out to be the best decision Ive ever made. My BIG regret is that I didnt stop bullshitting myself until I was 51! So many years wasted being wasted! We can split hairs on who is an Alkie and who isn't, but if it has feathers and quacks,nits prolly a duck. If you set rules for AL and break them, you are at least in the team photo. The first step is to stop fighting the symptoms and start treating the cause. AL is the problem! We are here to help! This place saves lives and Im one of them!

Hoppy Easter, everyone!!

[Fin]

Day 1. Really? I'm so ashamed, but Bryd has again saved me. I was on such a good roll with all your collective support. What happened? I left the country and my good routine was left behind. It's so important to ALWAYS establish a good routine from day / night one in a new place. I didn't and taboom...back on the ground floor. So, back to work I go. Hope you're all doing well and so sorry to drop the ball.

Yours,
Fin

[Pie]

Glad you're back here with us, Fin!

[piper123]

Hi Fin, mind if I join you? I have been away way too long

[daisy45]

I will Lav. Spent the last 3 hours listening to Bubble Hour. Definitely set me up for the rest of today. My family are all drinking and expecting me to call. I am alone and heading out for a walk.
The last podcast I listened to was The gift of Desperation. Each talking about how their moment came. I have had umpteen. But that desterate feeling goes....this is somewhere I realise I have been wrong. I need to keep that feeling and remember and stop kidding myself.
Fin, sorry to hear but we're back on day 1. Time to get this done. No more wandering away for me. Thank you Lav.

[Mr Vervill]

Back again, too. Just f'd up 19 days sober. After a long 14 hr day and two hours drive home, I had to stop and get gas, but purchased some other fuel as well. What the actual F! I knew my wife and son son would be gone when I got home, so the AL lizzard said it would be fine, and I caved. To make matters worse I was drinking as I drove. What an idiot.
I have not been away on purpose most of the last few weeks, since my last visit, first week I was out of town, and too cheap to pay for internet access. ( why is it, the nicer, read more expensive, hotels want to gouge you for every little extra, like $15/day internet access?)
Second week utility work in my neighborhood, severed the cable. It was only supposed to be out for 24 hours, but it took almost a week to fix. Which is really bad for me, but, since I work from home a lot it was difficult. I have a broadband card, but it is sooo slow.
And then of course I rationalized that I'm doing just fine, thank you very much!
But nooo.......
So here I am yet again.
I'll join ya Fin and Piper.

Edit: cross post/ You too Daisy

[LavenderBlue]

NewLife! - Welcome to the Nest! This is a great place and I consider it the biggest tool in my toolbox for quitting. Never would have gotten this far without the support and advice from these kind folks. Stay close and if you want my two cents, make sure and listen to the old timers here. I know they sometimes ask questions we don't want to think about or answer, but they've seen and helped a lot of folks. Plus they've been through it themselves. Definitely not so much an "AA" thing here; though no offense to those who have found it helpful. Just lots of support and a huge amount of knowledge and compassion. Plus some butt velcro when needed.

Oh, and your story sounds familiar to me, too; without the DUI's - but I can't take credit for that. I was just lucky...or unlucky since maybe that would have opened my eyes to what I was doing sooner. Runs in both sides of my families, I've always been the overachiever in other parts of my life (for a while I was juggling a few jobs plus full time school - and doing great in all!) but I used AL to self medicate my stress/depression/anxiety and eventually I realized AL was the thing causing so many of my problems. I know I got a lot of perspective during my first 30 days sober, it really helped me sort out where I wanted to go from there and how I was going to get there.

Pav - "I have to learn to control my drinking because I don't want to have to quit forever," That is so very very very me, too. I used to spend all my time scared to death something bad would happen to me, and then when I was at the hospital they'd realize I'd been drinking and everyone would want me to quit. How backwards is that?! I was more worried about being found out than about trying to actually get my life where I wanted it. I remember driving through a snowstorm and being literally more scared that if I hit some ice I might still have AL in my system (and get found out) than scared of an actual accident. :/

Fin and piper and vervill and daisy - Glad you're back, stick close 'cause we're all here for you!

And hugs and support towards everyone else, too! Quiet weekend for me; mom is really really edgy with quitting smoking so while we have dinner planned, we're mostly trying to stay out of each others' way. It's an interesting challenge for me. Partly 'cause right now she's the one with the early quit going on, and partly because I always want to DO something to help and I know firsthand that sometimes just being left alone and treated gently is what she would prefer. I made us a nice dinner last night, though, and picked up some flowers for her when I did the grocery shopping. Also ice cream, hehe. I'm thankful that I'm sober and present enough to be there for her the way she was able to be there for me, and I'm thankful I'm not doing anything that's going to make it harder for her. When she used to quit before, I'd sometimes smoke in the house after I'd been drinking - even if I was still smoking myself I'd at least get off my BUTT and go outside now.

Still a little restless about the job, it's like I went from "I don't think I'm ready to start working again" to "I will get this job and be the best employee ever and get ALL OF THE PROMOTIONS and that will prove I have my shit together again!" over the course of a few days. I think I need to scale it back from both ends, it's just a job. If I get it, maybe I'll enjoy it now that I'm not drinking, and maybe even sober I've burned myself out of customer service for good. I do have my shit together (getting there, anyway!), but that's about me and not about trying to prove it through anything external. I'm learning some really important things about where I am right now and what I think I want to do to move forward, and that is SUPER important no matter what happens. I know what it's like to apply and interview sober, and I got over my fear of having to ask people to reference me when I'm insecure. Over it enough to actually DO it, anyway. I've also learned I do still have that drive to succeed in a job, no matter how simple the job is. and I was worried I lost that somewhere back with the depression and the drinking. I'm starting to remember times I did a really excellent job at other places I worked instead of freaking out that I may not have been perfect every moment. These are all good things.

Sorry this got long; I've still got to figure out what I'm doing with my day. I might clean things - I can stay out of Mom's way but still be doing something helpful that way.

[abcowboy]

I think MWO would love to have Quitriplets! Fin, daisy, and piper how cool that you can help each other! And on the x-post, let's make that quitdruplets! Add Mr Vervill to the group!

[Eloise]

Glad you were able to jump right back on track Fin, move ahead. That is all we can do.