Newbies Nest

[daisy45]

Last night I listened to the bubble hour on hormones/alcohol and right now about milestones and the importance of them to ourselves and to others.
These talks are sooo good. I find myself energised after each one, and have also found that I can still use my i-pad while they speak. I can relate to every single thing they speak about.
Found my cds this morning and ready to go.
So glad to have this day alone. Looking more normal now......

[Dutch1988]

What is the deal with bubble hour? Is it a podcast or something? I have never heard of it until the last few days.

I made it 30 days today. I attribute it to MWO and being able to read and post on here daily. Guess I'll look forward to 50 starting tomorrow, today I celebrate.😝

[daisy45]

Dutch, I am not great on the computer but I googled it and then downloaded the app. So many here have talked about it...now I know why. People in recovery talking about their experiences....each one covers a different subject. I had it on while getting dresses and doing odd jobs just now. Trying to see if I can get it on my phone as I know some members here walk and listen. They last an hour but so worth it.
I have just had my daily fix which I started on Sunday....I am now addicted! Yay!

[Overit-still]

LAV-yes, he was kidding. I'm assuming he's an old drunk, a fellow past drunk.
Dutch-CONGRATS ON 30 man! Keep going!

Hanna-My darling husband is not talking to me again. sigh......

Busy day at work, stay close everyone.

[piper123]

I am here. Just listened to the bubble room podcast on desperation. Very good. Made it through last night.

Piper

[LavenderBlue]

Good going hanging in there, all! Agreed that staying close is especially important at the start. I think I lived on here for my first couple weeks - and after that if I wasn't here reading, I was downloading quit books to my Kindle.

Woke up to a phone call from the job, they want to schedule a second interview. I'm really noticing my thought patterns about it, too. Like, I should be really pleased about that, but I keep remembering that my mom said something offhand about how she didn't know if I really wanted the job after seeing how weird they were about references. She's cranky from quitting smoking to start with, but the really important thing is I need to figure out for myself what I want to do. When I was drinking, I ended up in this spiral of not trusting my own decisions and then relying on other people to tell me what I should do. It's good to listen to feedback from people who care about me, but in the end I'm the one living my life.

It's weird, too - this whole time I've been really hesitant to go back to work, and it's felt like she was pushing me to get a job. And now that I found something I think I can handle, and am getting interviewed, she's pushing the other way? It's been so long since we had a relationship where I was sober, I'm having to relearn how we get along, I think. I know she wants me to lead my best life, but sometimes I wonder if she hasn't gotten really used to me being around. She's been single since I was a kid and doesn't often go out with friends, I wonder/worry sometimes that she relies on me in ways that aren't always good for either one of us.

[Rahulthesweet]

We r building it up ... To burn it down ...

As I listen to this linkin parks great song I imagine myself.

In a rain forest, humid but it rains often, here I am with my camera gear trying capture the perfect moment of wild life around me. With my 200 mm f 2.8 lens I capture moments which expresses the beauty in this wild world. Its much different experience then being on top of alps taking pictures of beautiful landscapes. Capturing early sun rise as the rays touch the mountain peaks. I love the fresh air and the fresh pictures which re captured by new camera gear. I hiked up and captured some beautiful moments. Many of them may end up in next National Geographic ....

Then I remember myself as I was about 2 years back :

Man I feel thirsty , y dont they serve booze on this long flight. Its great arrivals there a bar and booze shop for a quick drink. I better pick up a 12 pack for my late night session after drinking at the bar. Man ... Y doesn't the airport fives clearance to land .... Shit I forgot my pills, need them for my liver and lipids .. Will surely go to a pharmacy ...

Then here I am today ... Imagine both sides. One place I was to be and one place where I was once.

I feel so great, free that even being a frequent traveler I am free from the cycle of thirst, cravings, high, low, hang over and then guilt.

Life so great being free and no matter what I do I always feel thankful to this site and all the people here who made me free to imagine myself as a photographer for National Geographic which I never was but so want to some day ....

[Overit-still]

I'm know that I'm going to get in trouble for saying this and there will be those that say it's no joking matter, but.....

HA HA! Having a really tough day and told a friend "right now.....I could really appreciate a shot" (not gonna have one but it would be SO appreciated) just in jest, calm down, just talking, blah blah blah but she said "Eat a carrot" HA HA HA! She made me laugh. Gotta loosen up and just be able to live life.:cheerful:

[available]

Morning nesters

Raining a storm here so going to be a crap drive to work but a sober one!

Dutch congrats on 30 days, i could not stop smiling that i had actually accomplished a whole month sober. Enjoy that feeling today.

Over it i say i could have a drink to my kids when i do feel like one. They just say "yeah whatever mum, you cant have one". I think if i feel it and say it then i deal with that thought. I know i wont drink but i damn want one some times.

I had a lovely 2 hour phone chat with my one and only niece last night. 2 hours that i remember ever single word and conversation. She has just gotten engaged, lost a baby and is getting married this year. We have always been close but lives a few thousand kilometres away now. Her father is my brother who died of al and we talked about her anger and mine with his death. She said to me "aunty lin why could you do it and he couldnt"? I said to her that some people can never stop drinking but dont ever think he didnt want to, as i can imagine that he used to wake up each and every day wanting to stop the cycle of his addiction like i used to and wanting to change his life. She told me how proud she was of me and had spoken to others about her aunty and what i have achieved. That phone call is one of the many reasons why i love this child and why i made the best decision of my life when i gave al the flick. No one told me they were proud of me when i drank!

[Dutch1988]

Dutch, I am not great on the computer but I googled it and then downloaded the app. So many here have talked about it...now I know why. People in recovery talking about their experiences....each one covers a different subject. I had it on while getting dresses and doing odd jobs just now. Trying to see if I can get it on my phone as I know some members here walk and listen. They last an hour but so worth it.
I have just had my daily fix which I started on Sunday....I am now addicted! Yay!

Thanks Daisy,

I got the podcast and started listening to the one about milestones. I've actually feel pretty bummed on this day, I think it's because I eas hoping to have solved or been further along on my financial problems by now. Instead I feel like I'm losing ground, so it's been good to keep my mood up, thanks again!

[daisy45]

I'm glad Dutch...I also had stuff that needed doing but decided to dedicate today to setting up my sober plan. I actually listened to the same one as you....wasn't it good?
Then I done my first hypno cd...took an hour but felt great afterwards.
This is time-consuming and I know after a day with the kids and visitors etc, it would be difficult to do in the evenings.. Also, I feel it should be earlier to set the mood, so part of my plan is very early starts so I can fit them in before my workday begins. Also, no disruptions then as my girls will be in bed.
All in all a good day.
Ava, that was a lovely post.

[LavenderBlue]

Dutch; I've got a lot of financial things I still need to sort out, too. It helps me a bit to remember that I know I won't do a good job fixing it if I'm drinking; if anything I'd still be making things worse. It might be taking longer than I'd like and be stressful, but at least I know I'm tackling it with all of me. I'm sure that anything you have going on, you can handle it better now than when you were drinking. And good luck, it's hard getting things where you want them to be sometimes!

Edit: And congrats on 30 days! I knew there was something else I meant to say!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Had a quiet day - no kids around
Tomorrow will be a different story though, ha ha!!

Dutch, CONGRATS on your 30 AF days :yay:
Keep your focus on your quit now, the finances will improve in time.

Daisy, I really like my iPhone. I consider it a treat to myself, not a necessity but I really like having constant instant access to anything & anyone Think about getting one with your AF savings!!

Hanna, stress has always caused me to have bizarre dreams too. We can control a lot of things in our lives but not the stuff our subconscious comes up with when we sleep. At this point I try to think of dreams as odd little gifts (even the smoking & drinking dreams that still happen from time to time)

Ava, we are all proud of you - I hope you know that!

Wishing everyone a safe & cozy night in the nest!

Lav

[Matt M.]

Good evening from Tejas, had to break down and turn the A/C in today. 80's and humid, will be back in the 50's in a a few days. The N. Texas weather roller coaster.
Home after a 48 at the FD, and am exhausted, it was pretty much a 48 hour ass beating, very busy with a pretty nasty accident with kiddos involved, and those never really sit well.
Found myself in a strange place today, a worry, nervous, irritable feeling. Guess I'll chalk it up to sleep deprivation, but I do not like that feeling. I find myself thinking I need something to alter or "fix" that mood. Not so much Al, just something? If that makes a damn bit of sense.

Some really great numbers today in the Roll Call, love seeing that.
Guess I'll finish cooking for the family and get some much needed rest.
Great to see everyone.
Stay Hard my friends!

[Byrdlady]

Dutch, wanted to wish you a hearty congratulations on your 30 days! Here's your hat! :guy: Great job! Keep up the great work and you will never regret it! Speech!! We are so proud of you!!! Byrdie