Newbies Nest

[Londoner]

So I've broken my run. A couple of beers Friday turned into a massive session, out till Sunday morning.

I feel like I'm going round in one big circle. I feel okay. Or at least make out to be okay, but deep down I know. Every waking moment of every day feels like a struggle. Just interacting and acting happy is an energy drain.

I'm actually sitting having a beer in the pub alone as I write this.

Just fed up of feeling empty.

I think being an introvert is why I abuse alcohol. It's the easy way out. Stops me dealing with the real stuff.

[Byrdlady]

So I've broken my run. A couple of beers Friday turned into a massive session, out till Sunday morning.

I feel like I'm going round in one big circle. I feel okay. Or at least make out to be okay, but deep down I know. Every waking moment of every day feels like a struggle. Just interacting and acting happy is an energy drain.

I'm actually sitting having a beer in the pub alone as I write this.

Just fed up of feeling empty.

I think being an introvert is why I abuse alcohol. It's the easy way out. Stops me dealing with the real stuff.

Londoner,
Thank you for letting us hear from you. If there is a red flag in this whole MWO scene it BEGINS when people don't check in. So we are really glad you came back and let us know what's going on.

As I have been suggesting, have you considered the hypno CD's available thru our site? I think you have the whole sober concept down, you are certainly CAPABLE of quitting AL, but the maintenance is where you need some shoring up. They are about $120 but for me, that was about 12 days of booze. If what you have tried hasn't work, maybe something like this will? They certainly CANT HURT!!!

I hope you will stop drinking right now!! Get on your computer and order those CD's....either that or maybe some in-person group could help? Is there a Celebrate Recovery in your area?

I tried to blame my drinking on everything in the book, right down to the guy who puts cheese on the nachos at ball games, truth was, I drank because I am an alcoholic. Own this thing and it will take you miles down the road.

I'm so sorry you fell off, but hop back up here by me....I'll do my best to keep you on board!! Reach out to me or any of us!! We want you to be rid of this awful affliction!!
All the best, Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Guitarista, CONGRATS on your 100 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are a rock star all the way around!!! So proud of you!
:horse:
Keep up the great work!!! t

[Londoner]

If it's not alcohol it's another thing. Anything to keep my head quiet.

Alcohol is the most powerful of them all. But alcohol leads to harder substances.

Honestly, it feels like it is all to keep my head quiet. To remove my self imposed barriers. To fit in and do what my friends do.

[Londoner]

I come on here because I can open up. To people I don't know.

But no one knows just how messed up I feel I'm real life. I feel closed off to everyone. Put on a mask, you know.

[Guitarista]

I come on here because I can open up. To people I don't know.

But no one knows just how messed up I feel I'm real life. I feel closed off to everyone. Put on a mask, you know.

Keep coming here and yapping Londoner if it helps even a little. Many of us have worn masks and hidden from ourselves and reality with the 'help' of booze. I have found that living behind my mask has proved to be scarier than removing booze and dealing with where I'm at and who I am, which can also be scary, but something I've had to do to move myself forward to a much more fulfilling life. I changed my outlook and attitude from scary to exciting.

Take care of yourself and maybe see if you need to add something different/new to your recovery mix? G

Thx Byrdy.

[Byrdlady]

I come on here because I can open up. To people I don't know.

But no one knows just how messed up I feel I'm real life. I feel closed off to everyone. Put on a mask, you know.

Yes, I'm afraid I DO know. I am an introvert also....and I'm in sales, you can imagine the pep talks I've had to give myself to go in a new door and meet someone. I thought AL gave me courage, but it made me weak. I thought it made me social, but it isolated me. I thought I drank to fit in, but drank mostly alone. AL is the big lie. Have you tried getting some help in person? Get off this bad carnival ride once and for all? Trying those CD's may help calm that chatter. I KNOW how bad they can be!!

I've often said, the only thing that could make me take a drink was if I was drunk. If you don't get impaired by AL, I bet the other stuff would stop as well.... Once you get some GOOD distance from all this stuff, you will see that you don't need it at all! That social person you THOUGHT it brought out is still in there....I promise. It is no crime to be different when you are out with others....I am now really proud that I am. I don't need AL to fit in with those people....in fact, I feel a bit sad for THEM.

Get right back up with us....it only takes a couple AF days to make you feel...well, human again!! I know you can do it. Sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith....B

[treetops]

Good on the 100 days Mr G!
Life's really hard for most people - and yours has certainly been a case-study in hard-knocks - but as you show, at some point, you have to decide to just get on with change, deal with the hard-stuff (or at least realize that its not always something that we can 'deal' with) and move on. I too, spent decades with excuse after excuse for drinking, abusing food and whatever. And I could have gone on like that until I dropped dead. It ain't been easy and I am not an angel - but quitting AL has been the biggest factor I could change. The rest gets much more doable then…or at least its less of an impossible stress to live with and accept.

Best wishes to all the Newbies (Mr G I know you are not a Newb). Its cold here now!

[daisy45]

Mr G....sooo happy for you! You worked it till you got there! Congratulations! You deserve everything sobriety brings into your life. A big milestone for sure.

[Lizann]

Byrdlady, you really are something else! Thanks for that post. My usual threads are very quiet, so I came here. I appreciate your words of wisdom!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters!

CONGRATS on 100 AF days G!!! Let's keep this streak going & going

Lil, I sure hope your ceramic hip replacement is OK or did you get the titanium??
You are a brave one, that's for sure. I have a friend with double knee replacements & it freaks me out that he still goes on long motorcycle trips every summer! Seriously, I hope you are OK & good job at growling off the drink offer.

Londoner, I sure wish you would look for an opportunity to talk to someone in person about your issues with being an introvert. You know, it is perfectly OK to NOT be exactly like everyone else. You are an individual, you are unique & that's not a bad thing. I have never been a perfect fit in any group or organization from childhood until right now. Now I realize that it just doesn't really matter. Keep checking in with us, don't be a stranger

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Guitarista]

Thanks TT and Daisy and Lav. Hi Liz!

Byrdy, I'm an introvert too, yet I perform music on stage to a crowd! You are spot on about having more courage without AL. I find I have much more confidence, courage, self belief, self trust, self esteem when I am living sober. And it shows in the way I walk and the way I talk.

[Overit-still]

Just checking in.

G-feeling empowered by your success. You are awesome!
Londoner-feeling sad over your sadness.

[Londoner]

I just keep digging deeper and deeper.

Thanks for the support. It's been great on here.

[Matt M.]

Mr G congrats!

Londoner~ Good to see you back,
Might I reiterate what others have said. If you have what I have, and that is an addiction to Alcohol then anything and everything will and could be used to "blame" for our addictions. From what I can tell you prob have what I have. If they made a pill that could reverse introverts, I'd be willing to bet the Al mind would come up with another issue or diagnosis, to blame the addiction on. I am not down playing your situation yet I believe if you take the alcohol out of the picture forever, don't drink No Matter what, our other character defects will begin to heal, yes you may need some sort of outside therapy. But this cycle your on can only make you disgust yourself more which in turn cause you to withdraw more. I hope and know you can stop this insanity train your riding before it's to late. We are here and pulling for you.

Stay Hard and got God's sake don't take the first drink!