Newbies Nest

[Mr Vervill]

Another week, another f'up. 7 days blown. trigger = my wife. Not to blame her mind you, it's all on me. After working in the yard yesterday and helping to clean the house, she rewarded me with a Gin & tonic on the back deck. Sunny, warm, and a feeling of accomplishment, I really didn't think, and drank it up. Fail.
Worst is, I'm drinking today. Sorry.
Really gotta get back in the tool box and work on this.
Some good numbers racking up here.
Over-it, You're killing it! Proud of you.
Dutch, you'll be there soon.
Daisy, rock it girl! you got this. Sorry I missed the ride.

Thanks for the support here.

[Hanna]

Over It!! So totally psyched for you!!!! 50 awesome days! amazing. Just checking in and seeing the posts indicating how amazing you have done!! Nice to go to bed after some great news!! Reward yourself by being kind to yourself...you so deserve it!!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Finally, a minute to myself

Congrats on 50 AF days Overit! Nice work!

Dutch, I like the progress in your thinking - everything will be OK!

Daisy, enjoy the CDs but not sure about walking while listening to them - especially if you are near traffic & other obstacles.

Ava, no worries, the packing will get done as always, right?

Mr V, does your wife not know that you quit drinking?
It doesn't help much when people keep offering you a drink. I hope you can make her understand that there is no such thing as one drink for most of us.

Wishing everyone a safe & peaceful night in the nest!

Lav

[jane27]

Yeehaw Overit! WooHOO!

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[jane27]

Fed up. It's all a laugh until reality kicks in.

Londoner, that's exactly where things turned around for me. I dropped all pretenses about wanting to quit drinking, unloaded the guilt and drank as often & as much as I liked. For me it was a good decision and it didn't last long, because it stripped my of all the bullshit and left me alone with my convictions which were there at large all along anyway. I was kidding myself. I used guilt and the knowledge that the quantity I was drinking was downright dangerous as a launching pad for rebellion. What a dumb ass I was. No one really cares and no one can care. We each get one ride in this life. Regularly drinking to oblivion ( which is what I did) made me realize that my ride wasn't going to last long.
Lift the gate up and drink. It's even less rewarding when you're not sneaking around and breaking rules. Worked like a charm for me.
Thinking of you and wishing you a big fat aha moment. It's not about anyone but you. You just have to want it badly enough.

And what you said is so true. It is a laugh. Your core circle of friends, family & MWO ers care about you and want you to succeed, but no one can make you do anything, and no one else has to walk in your shoes the day after when you feel like you're in hell. It is your own private hell just as it is with each of us. No one can save you. I recommend getting mad, desperate or both. Whatever you've been doing in the past isn't enough. The least emotionally painful way to make it happen is to copy the behaviours of those that have been successful. I know you can do it. We all do. This is just part of the process. You determine the length of time you spend in this phase, which I know first hand sucks. Can you identify 3 things that are getting in your way? Maybe you've got some barriers to break.

[jane27]

It's really weird, on the one hand it doesn't seem that long and on the other hand it feels like longer. I have been reading along, just didn't feel like I had anything to contribute. I noticed that I was still moody from things last week (plus a couple other things) though, so I've been being kind to myself and making sure I don't miss meals. I can do icky moods OR being hungry, but both at once is just making things harder than they need to be.

I feel the same! Counting the darn days and weeks to get to the next milestone seems to slow down time, then all of a sudden, there you are! This feeling has gotten less weird with me as I accrue more time getting through sober firsts. Time absolutley greases the wheels in a good way.

You contributed a lot with your post. You helped me identify a way that I can feel some times. That's why it's so good to post even if you think you have nothing. It us all meaningful to help us understand the way this disease moves over time.

Congratulations on 9 months. I found it to be exactly as you described. Things got noticeably more comfortable in the 3 months that followed, and now I feel stable and better than ever. Have in there. You are rocking it.


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[LavenderBlue]

Overit - Congrats on 50 days, that is awesome!

Dutch - Glad to hear things are going better. I've got to make regular meditation my next goal, I know it always helps my stress levels, but I've got build it into an actual habit again.

It's late so I'm just checking in quick after realizing I never posted today. Had to bring the dog in for a booster shot this morning and then forgot to actually post anything once I got back, oops!

One thought for today that I found interesting, though. A friend of mine asked me what my "dieting secret" is. Now granted, I don't really have a big secret - I cut most of the really bad crap out of my diet and have been paying attention to my portion sizes. But it's still choices I'm making to reach a goal and I still have to do the work...yet my first thought was along the lines of, "Oh, it's not really anything clever, I just stopped doing stupid things, should have done that sooner." Way to NOT give myself any credit at all! I know I've had revelations a few times that I'm harder on myself than I realize, but that little thought really got my attention when I listened to it. Crappy self talk is so easy to fall into, and it doesn't do any good at all.

Oh, one more thing, come to think of it. My friend who had the really bad birthday and got arrested for driving after a night out? We chatted a little the next day and he was feeling crappy, wanting things to be better and all that. The next few nights he's been posting that he's back out at the bar. :/ I'm not saying that to judge him, and I know I won't do any good beating him over the head about it, but it's so weird watching that sort of behavior from the outside. I did my worst drinking at home, but there really wasn't any difference. It was still, "God my life sucks so much and I can't believe I did that stupid thing while I was drinking last night. Wish I knew what I could do about it" as I drank more. I'm really torn about him - he wasn't the greatest person to have in my life when I knew him so I don't want to get pulled into something I can't handle, but I feel like I should at least say *something.* I left it telling him that honestly, feelings like that were a big part of why I quit drinking; I suppose if he wants to talk about quitting he knows I'm someone he can talk to.

Good thoughts and hoping everyone stays well and AF in the Nest, it's past this little bird's bedtime!

[Mr Vervill]

Lav B, isn't the dieting secret the lack of AL calories? I know it is for me. Hundreds ( if not thousands) of empty calories from AL. the weight falls away.

[daisy45]

Jane, loved your post to Londoner....You have developed insight.
Aw Lav, you are just too cute! I will only listen to bubble hour and subliminal when walking. Your post made me laugh....you sound so much like me. I am always danger-aware. I am always jumping up and down in case any of the kids are doing something harmful.
Made the kids pasta carbonnara last night.....did not go down well.....the youngest gave the best description....stinkin! Ah well...

[questeroo]

Hi guys......returning member here. Tried umpteen times to quit, now im down to 3 days a week......any advice ? Thanks in advance.:newhere:

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Happy Tuesday to everyone! It's raining here, good for the new plants I suppose

On the topic of weight loss - I quit drinking more than 6 years ago & I'm still waiting to lose that first pound, ha ha!!!
I guess it's all about metabolism!!!
Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!

Lav

[Lavande]

Oops - cross post Daisy
Enjoy your walks!

Hello & welcome questeroo! Glad you found MWO, this is a good place!
The best way to get started is by making a good working plan for yourself. Take a look in the https://www.mywayout.org/community/sh...24253-Tool-box for lots of great ideas. A good plan & a strong commitment helped me to meet my goals. Wishing you the best

Lav

[LilBit]

Overit, here's a "Woot! Woot!" from your little follower, LilBit for 50 (now 51) days! Yay!

Questeroo, welcome back. I can only share my own experience for advice and it's this: as long as I was having any AL on any number of days per week, it was a massive struggle. Did you ever see the "Push me-Pull me" on the old Dr. Doolittle film? I think it was a llama with two heads and two sets of front feet. All it did was go back and forth. It was exhausting to watch and never got anywhere. That's what I used to feel like. Why not try completely AL-free for just a week or 30 days? If you can get it down to three days, you can do this.

[Byrdlady]

Morning, Nesters! Quick check in this morning. I have a big meeting this morning so I am so thankful my head is clear and I can THINK! Hope everyone has an easy day! Hugs, Byrdie

[Hanna]

Morning Nesters-

Still committed to not drinking, in spite of overwhelming personal stress. Total anxiety today. Hubby and I are going to talk to a therapist this afternoon. I am very frightened. I guess I fear that based on what he says, I will get some idea if he is willing to try and go forward, and at least try and trust my quit, or that he is done. Anyway, just wish that piece of my day was behind me. It soon will be.

My sister, who knows all, is coming to visit on Thursday. She will be staying close by. I can't wait. I feel like a balloon just being pushed around by the wind, but she is at least, a bit of an anchor for me right now. Thank God for her.

Well, guess that is it here. I so hope to be in a better place, not be so selfish on here, and focus more on the rest of you.

Hope all are having a good Tuesday.